We all make decisions based on what our priorities are at any given moment.
We have changed our lives MULTIPLE times for the needs of our kids and every time it has been the right change, even if it was a bit (ok, a lot) scary to change things up.
Example:
10 years ago, my husband and I were living in the SF area, and I was devastated that I was pregnant, since I wasn't even sure I wanted kids. I was finishing grad school and my husband had a high tech job in the Silicon Valley. We were living in a 2 bedroom condo without any responsibilities. We had no time to travel or do anything else....or so we thought....looking back. LOL
I moved to OC when our son was 6 months old and opened my business. I took him with me to work. Some people didn't like it, some people did. I had no control over how they felt, but knew I was doing the right thing for my family. 6 months later, my husband had sold our condo in the SF area. One day he called me and told me he quit his job, but was going to finish his project (he was a project manager for a HUGE, stable high tech company) out from a distance....in OC. I was shocked and thrilled. He became a stay at home dad, while I worked 12-16 hours a day growing my business AND making time for my family. I'd go home at lunch and then again for dinner and then back to work....but this only lasted as long as I needed it to....then I stopped working Thursdays, so I had 3 days at home with my family and had 4 long days at work.
Today, my husband has been running my office since I was pregnant with #2 and continued through #4....to present. We've had the same childcare figured out for years. We work M and T from 3pm -10pm and W and Th from 9am-2pm.
Our friend takes Monday nights with the kids and loves it. Another friend drives from Corona and watches the kids Tues night and returns Wed morning - we pay her plenty and she brings her daughter with her to drive that far because we trust her with our kids. Then Thursday ams, my parents watch the kids from 9-1 and my husband leaves, so I handle the office alone.
THAT being said, last week we decided that we don't want my parents watching the kids anymore, so I am planning in hiring someone for the office and my husband will stay home with the kids. They are 9, 6, 4 and 10 months and we've been homeschooling since our first son finished kindergarten. My husband will bring our 10 month old to the office for me to breastfeed.
Nothing is simple....but we tweak things to make it work for us. I know this is not an option for you right now, but maybe you might be able to look outside the box and see if something else will work....
PS Our son was in a dual-immersion kindergarten and it was full day.....so maybe look into something like that? Also, you need to do it quick, as I think sign-ups here are in Feb....and you don't have to be in that school area to be put on the list.