Fall weather is hopefully around the corner, and I have a question about winter clothes for kids. By now, many of you know we have 6 kids together. Every year, I pull out all the old winter clothes, see what fits which kid, and decide who I need to buy for. But in all honesty, I don't have a lot of luck handing down jeans, especially for the boys, because they are so hard on them. So, I'm looking at a hefty expense in the next month or so. I do shop at Once Upon A Child and find a lot of used clothing there, but with 6 kids, it still adds up. My question though, is mostly about my oldest step daughter. She is in 5th grade. She is very much a tom boy, dresses in t-shirts and jersey shorts daily. She does not like anything remotely girly, so anything cute is pretty much a waste of money. In the past, she's wanted to wear shorts in the winter and we told her she needed to wear jeans. We live in AZ, so it doesn't get that cold, but cold enough that shorts should be off limits. None of the kids want to wear a "jacket" so they all have hoodies lined with sherpa that they wear in place of a jacket. But every year, I buy the kids long sleeves to wear under their hoodies, but my step daughter never wears them. They just stay in the closet, as she continues to wear her t-shirts with her hoodie over. So my question is this, do I have an obligation to buy her long sleeve shirts, just in case? Or should I skip the expense knowing full well she will not wear them? It's the same thing every year, and it bothers me that I'm wasting our money every year on clothes she won't wear. And anything we buy her is pretty much non-hand-me-down material for her younger sisters, as they are very girly and do not want to wear her style of clothing.
I hope I'm not coming across as the wicked step mother, that's not it at all! It's just money is tight and we don't have extra to waste.
We have all been there, buying what they "ought" to wear.
Don't. The worst that will happen is she will get cold, and ASK for you to buy her a long sleaved shirt. THEN you can buy it.
I don't buy what I know my kids won't wear. You're not a mean step mother if you don't buy her girly stuff or long sleeve shirts. She doesn't want them. Instead, buy her stuff you know she'll like.
Buy her one long-sleeved t-shirt for a day where it might get colder than normal. Other than that, stick to what she wears.
And, if she wants to wear shorts in winter, I'd let her. It sounds like she doesn't get very cold. If she is miserable in shorts, she'll probably make more appropriate clothing decisions after that.
If she really never, ever wears them, get her one long-sleeved top for 'just in case'. And no one would bat an eye of this was your bio kid and you asked the question-- I don't think the fact that she's a stepkid has anything to do with it!
(I grew up in a household similar to what you describe and yeah, mom would only spend money on what we would really wear.)
If she won't wear them, save yourself the money, sure.
Ha! Your post made me laugh because I have a friend who grew up in Tucson, and she insisted on wearing shorts all the time, even in the winter. I think the heaviest jacket she would wear was a jean jacket. She was a tomboy too. She is now a 44 year old productive member of society, who is willing to wear dresses when the occasions call for it :-)
Save your money. Skip the long sleeves. And your daughter will be glad that you're not trying to force unnecessary clothing upon her.
P.S. Hanna Andersson clothes are super pricey, but they last through many hand-me-downs. If you can find them at garage sales or resale shops, grab them up!
If you do buy her some long sleeves, just in case, could you get them in the boys dept. and hand them down to your boys? Sounds like she might be okay with that, if she is a tomboy.
She's old enough to know what she does and doesn't like...if she doesn't want long-sleeved t-shirts, don't buy them...that would be a total waste of money. My 8 year old won't wear turtle neck shirts. So, I don't buy turtle neck shirts.
You should not buy clothing that will not be worn.
If you are feeling guilty, not that I think you should but you could buy your step daughter a few more hoodies since that is what she likes to wear.
I'd her get one, count 'em one, long-sleeved shirt, in case you have a cold snap. Glad you're letting a tomboy be a tomboy, that's great!
What if you kept the colors solid? Solid blue, grey, black, etc. No prints or graphics on the front. This way, your step daughter can keep the tomboy look going and your girls can pair the hand-me-downs with a print short or pants and use a cute scarf or necklace to girly it up a bit.
To directly answer your question, I agree with the other posts- buy her one long sleeved shirt and then let her make her own choices. My own daughter is like this, too. I only buy what I know she will wear!
If she won't wear it, don't buy it. If worse comes to worst, she could probably borrow a long-sleeved shirt from one of her brothers, right?
She knows if she's cold or not. Let her wear shorts and short sleeves if she's comfortable in them.
If she doesn't wear long sleeves then don't buy them for her.
Our son wears short sleeves to school year round - and he rarely wears a coat - when he does it's a light weight jacket.
The lockers are too small to put a coat in and carrying it around all day is a pain.
The bus and school are plenty warm enough in the winter and he's only outside a short while from home to bus to school and back again.
Just because you feel cold does not mean she does. I would even allow her to wear her shorts if that is what she wants, as long as there is not a rule against it at school. If she is cold she will dress herself warmer.
My kids have been known to wear short in 30 degree temperatures outside, and short of the really little ones, very few of them even bother with long sleeve shirts, and we can get into the negatives here.
After about the 3rd grade I let them learn with natural consequences. The only person who is going to be cold id them. They don't care, I don't care. I buy what I know they will wear, and if they ask for something else, I will get that.
Start buying jeans early, a pair here and a pair there, it doesn't hurt the pocket book that way, go a size bigger so they can't outgrow them, and put them up till they are needed.
I learned a long time ago to not buy something I know they are not going to wear. If they change their minds at some point then we'll figure it out at that point. I had a child that never wanted to wear a jacket. He would wear fleece hoodies or sweaters, but never a jacket. We'd buy one that we insisted he wear when it was raining at least and that was that. Those Sherpa lined hoodies can actually be pretty warm. I have a son that runs a little on the warm side and that really is enough to keep him warm except on the coldest of cold days. We're in San Diego so it never gets super cold here, though we will have a short period of time where it can get in the 20s at night which can be a bit nippy.
Buy what she'll wear and save your money on the rest.
Just buy what she'll actually wear. So what if she wears shorts and short sleeves all winter? I live in Northern California and I know lots of kids like that, and our winters are a lot cooler than yours. We all have different preferences when it comes to hot and cool. I mean, the slightest chill and my husband is bundled up. I would HATE it if he insisted I dress like him, I want to be comfortable, and so does your stepdaughter!
I understand where're you're coming from. I think having a couple just in case, if she can't borrow something from you, is sufficient. She doesn't feel comfortable in them so they are a waste of money until they're handed down.
Buy only what she likes to wear.
I hear where you're coming from- I have a 9 yr old who is also a TOTAL tomboy- she won't even wear shirts from the girls department! I'd buy one or 2 just in case, but that's it. I learner long ago to not make clothes a battle!
Maybe she's hot blooded. I can't stand wearing long sleeves either. I wear short sleeves with sweatshirt in winter too. I would maybe get one just in case she needs it for a really cold night time activity and then just stick to the short sleeves.
How cold does it get there? My kids don't usually start wearing their long sleeved shirts until the temperature is below freezing here. It is 44 F here right now and one of my kids is wearing shorts today. I don't think you should buy it if she won't wear it. Ask her if she would like any, or maybe have one or two just in case.
ETA: Does it even get cold in Arizona? I though it was warm all year.
Do NOT buy her the long sleeved shirts. By age 10 she knows what she wants to wear. Take her shopping with you and let her choose which items she wants.
We live in CT, where winter coats are needed, and the temp. in the school is often in the low 60's. All through middle school and high school, my daughter's daily outfit consisted of jeans, a short sleeved t-shirt, and a hoodie.
Once Upon a Child is still more expensive than Goodwill. Try that.
I totally get this.
My boys wear shorts most of the year though. And I live in Washington state! It rains and it's cold during our winter. And then my boys walk out the door in shorts and a sweatshirt. Sigh.
I just gave up buying them jeans. They never wear them. I buy them each one jacket for snow, but even then it's a battle to get them to wear them. I just have decided not to waste my money on clothes that will never get worn!!
They each have one nice button up shirt since they only wear those once or twice a year and the rest of the stuff is comfortable sports shorts, sports shirts. It's not what I want them to wear, but it's what THEY want to wear.
My boys are 8 and 11. If they get cold they have sports pants they wear.
Maybe get her some of those?
You don't come across as wicked, you come across as smart.
Quit wasting money! :)
L.
What about garage sales? I outfitted my kids for years primarily with garage sale finds.....
The prices are cheaper than consignment stores, and if you are lucky, you can get quite a few things there.
If anything, just look for a couple of long-sleeve shirts for your tomboy... that way, it won't hurt so much when she only wears them once or twice.
She maybe pretty hot-natured and not like long sleeve clothes....
If she is comfortable, that is fine... if she gets colder, she will learn that way.
I would definatly buy her 1 or 2, just in case. Try shopping at Goodwill. I find the best clothes there sometimes. You do have to be a little picky there sometimes, make sure the zippers work, no stains, nothing is missing buttons, snaps, etc. But not only are they more reasonably priced than Once Upon a Child, they have 1/2 off every other Saturday. Their next one is 10/18. Those are usually the ones I go to and I can get 3-5 outfits each for both my boys for under $20 total!
Good luck, and btw, you sound like a caring step mother!!!!!!
