I work FT and have two girls ages 5 & 14. I've learned to let some things go for the time being in order to spend time with my children such as house work, organizing, cooking fancy meals, etc. Spending time with my children is more important to me than those things. I try and feed them well balanced meals that are quick & simple, I clean/disinfect the bathrooms & kitchen and do other housework as needed, I keep up with the laundry & mail, etc. but things like cleanng out the garage, organizing the cabinets, etc. gets done when I find the time and I'm okay with that for now. What is keeping me sane is the hope that once the kids are older, esp the youngest, that I will have the time to devote to organizing the home, keeping it clean, etc.
I look at my coworkers who have adult children that have long left the nest and they're just barely getting around to cleaning out their childrens old rooms or cleaning out the garage & getting rid of their childrens childhood stuff, etc. I can't help thinking that I may have to live with disray longer than I had hoped and that thought is starting to make me somewhat depressed. They also talk about how hard it is to cook & I can't help but think why??? They're only cooking for two & they don't have any homework to contend with, children needing their time & attention, etc. Granted they do have aging parents but their parents are in assisted living home and they don't need their attention every day of the week. So I'm asking for some insight I guess. Does it EVER get easier????
Oh dear, you are all making me nervous. I have a hard time finding time for all that organizational stuff now as a stay at home, and I plan to go back to work this year! Guess I better try to get as much done as possible before the job starts! :)
It's hard for your co-workers because it's the frame of mine they have been in for so long they don't know anything else. I learned a long time ago that I need to do today everything possible and never put off anything important because life only gets busier, not easier.
When people age they feel more aches and pains. I'm still fighting against that trend. I don't believe God created us to live life semi-quasi-depressed and living in messy homes and never having enough money and in pain and feeling OLD. :)
Don't worry about years from now. Tackle the garage in 15 minute incriminates. Make yourself walk out there every day and go through something, a box, a drawer if you have them, anything, sweep, etc. Part of the reason my house is mostly clean most of the time is that I do it in little bits, all the time. It's a priority. And yet I have plenty of time for everything I want to do. We all have the same 24 hour day.
Just for comparison...
My kids are 26, 24, 21, 11, and my grandson is 2. We have 4 generations living under one roof with 5 cats, 2 dogs, 2 birds, and one boyfriend of my 21 year old that's here about 1/2 the time. Add to the family chaos, 4 unrelated daycare children 7 days per week, 24 hours per day.
maybe they didn't want to clean out thier kids rooms in a hurry? Empty Nest? Maybe they are older and less energized. Maybe they are so busy walking around naked and doing it whereever they want now that they have the house to themselves that it's just not a priority! Wooohooo I believe the parenting of small children is time consuming, and that when you are done, you're going to be very tired! ~
You mean when my kids are grown I will no longer have an excuse?!?
!!!!! :P
I work full time and have done so since my daughter was 5 (now 34).
I attended the scout meetings, football games and other sport events in their lives.
Things change as you get older and children grew up and move on. I was not a "collector" of things until our last assignment and then we both went overboard with the "stuff". Consider this we bought a new home and had 5200 pounds moved in and it looked nice and cozy add to that 13500 pounds more from Europe and the house was stuffed and has been ever since (20 years now).
The children are gone and it is just hubby and me with the stuff which is slowly going out the door. There used to be a saying while in the military that when the house started to look full it was time for a move. Now that we are retired we have missed 5 moves so it really full. Hubby was an over the road trucker and when he stopped that amount was added to the mix and has to be removed. Nobody needs 3 extra microwaves (1 in truck, 1 at a job and 1 from daughter) that all work. Tuppeware in duplicates and triplicates because what you had got stored and you bought more.
As for the cooking you get used to a certain amount with everyone home and now they are not there and you still cook the same amount. What I do is divide into several meals and freeze in the large freezer for another day.
Hubby says it will get done or the kids can do it to earn their inheritance when they go through everything.
It is just what you make of things. Some hobbies take up more space than others and more time than others. There are trade offs to everything in life. Just be glad that you have a home that you can unload items from it.
The other S.
PS My two are grown and on their own. Daughter has a couple of boxes of stuffed animals that are still here otherwise their things are with them.
At 52 I can tell say that I defininetly have way less energy than I used to. and it takes alot longer to get thigns done. A project that used to take a day now takes 3 days! I can't work the 14 hours straight that I used to be able to do! My knees and back just don't have the same stamina!
I now understand why my mom's and inlaws basements were filled with so much stuff when their houses had to be cleaned out!
I think that's another reason to have kids - so they can get this kind of stuff done for us.
Don't fret, their fate need not be your own. We can all carve our own paths and establish our own priorities.
I work full time, and have an infant. Hubs is in grad school, he cooks and does laundry. We have a cleaning lady who comes 2x a month. Luckily we are both tidy, and both wary of clutter. I make sure everything (i mean everything) gets put away after baby is asleep.
I tackle one extra thing a night, whether its wash out the cutlery organizer, or disinfect the garbage cans, or cull old magazines.
Enroll your children in the chores. There is really no reason why they, even the younger one can't do these jobs. My MIL made a point of teaching her boys how to darn, iron, cook, clean, balance a check book, paint, chop wood, and feed the horses. She said she was intent on raising good men, not just good children.
I say there's little harm in having them lighten your load, plus they may learn a thing or two, and even thank you in the long run.
I think some people just like to complain! your co workers sound like that. Tell them to check out Fly Lady.com I've been a SAHM, a working Mom, I've raised two kids now I'm raising one. Everyone things what they are doing is the hardest...
Well, I am coming from the other perspective. I grew up with working parents and my mom had 3 jobs in high school. The thing that I think will change for you is the ability for your children to see your hard work. I remember my sisters and I all saw how hard my mom was working and we wanted to pitch in. We would surprise her by cleaning the entire house (scrubbing it) before she got home so she wouldn't have to do it. My mom also made daily "chores" for us. She would leave a note on the counter every morning and we would get it after school. It would be a chore for each of us so that it wouldn't pile up on her throughout the week and she could focus on us when she got home. They would be small things like "fold laundry" or "vacuum house" or "empty and load dishwasher"... if you aren't already, I wouldn't be afraid of including your kids in on those burdens. Usually kids like to feel like they're helping out anyway.
Hope it gets easier!
I think it will... I work full time and have two kids with whom I still spend a lot of time but our house is very clean and neat almost all the time. This is because I have a nanny who does some of the dinner prep, the laundry etc so when I get home, I'm with the kids vs keeping up with the house. And we have someone do deep cleaning once a month. Key also is I'm super anti-clutter. Always have been. So I don't let things pile up in the garage or anywhere. I literally sit in boring meetings at work thinking about what I can throw away. Less stuff means it's easier to keep it neat. If you don't have the help I have, it's not as easy for you now of course. But no reason once the kids are older and gone a lot you can't keep up with it all and work. Before kids I had a large townhouse and worked full time and it was immaculate. And I cooked nice meals. You're right - how hard is it? But I think some people are perpetually behind bc they procrastinate and let things pile up. If you're not one of those people normally, I think it will get easier and you'll be able to do stuff for your house and all. We have neighbors with no kids and they have so much stuff in their garage they can't fit their cars. And they have a 4 bedroom house!! I'm sure cleaning it out is a daunting task but it really helps if you just never let it get like that.
Well, it's all relative, isn't it? We all struggle differently.
If you're the kind of person who fusses and frets over little things that don't get done, it's likely after your kids are gone you'll still do so.
In the whole scheme of things, a tidy garage is not really one of life's major requirements.
:)
I thought I'd have lots of time once my kids were out of the house. Wow - have I filled that time!!! You can do with the "extra" time what you want. I started a business, so that keeps me very busy. Also, my husband and I take ballroom dancing classes. I could go on & on...........When your kids are gone, yes, you will have more time, and you can prioritize and get more organized. Relax and enjoy your kids. They'll be gone before you know it!
