Why Wont My 3 Year Old Play with His Toys?

I have a son who will be 4 yrs in November & he is just now starting to play with his toys. He would never play with his toys no matter what I did. I would play with his toys with him and he would just walk away. He mostly wanted to play outside. Luckily we live near a park so we spent a lot of time there... or we would go outside and play with chalk or he'd ride his bike. The good thing was for his 3rd b-day I didn't have to buy any expensive toys for him (being a single mom I didn't have a lot of money to spend) I bought him a few small cheaper toys from Wal-Mart and some books (short ones) for me to read to him. He loved the books! (I'm just throwing out a few cheap present idesas): He liked getting a pack of bubbles (I know it seems like a weird present but he never played with his toys. If you need any other ideas or just want to talk my email is: ____@____.com.

I hope I helped a little :)

Hi R.,
I have the same problem with all three of my children. Try taking him to the store and spending the time with him playing in the toy department. See if anything in there interests him. That is one way. Another thing I have noticed is that they like to play with the things in the house that are off limits:) Try to find the child's version of those items and buy those, see if he will play with those. Good luck.
M.

My Oldest son who is now 11 didnt play with his toys either. He would play with them the first day he got them then not so much after that. My youngest son plays with his toys all the time. He will play for hours with his toys. Every child is different. Try to find the one thing he really enjoys and see if he will play with them. Or what I would try to do is sit down with him and show him how to play. Hope this helps some.

A.

My little guy turned 3 in September. He often plays with his toys, but prefers to play with them in ways that I don't approve of. (Like ways where they may break, or making other uses for them). We have found a few things to help him play. His pediatrician recommended memory games for this age. We have also found the very best toys are ones where he can mimic what mom and dad are doing. Little lawn mowers or tools, then he uses them along side us as we get things done during the day. Good luck and happ birthday to your three year old.

Its good to hear that my kids aren't the only ones. Both my boy who is almost 5 and my 2 year old girl don't play with toys much and I am a full time mom who stays home and plays with them all day. I can share a few ideas that seem to distract my kids when I need to get something done. My kids seem to really like anything that is really hands on. In addition to the other suggestions such as puzzles, etc., my kids love playdough and blocks. There are all different sizes of legos/mega blocks depending on the age and development of the child. Playdough is generally inexpensive but you could also make some. Let me know if your want the recipe. My kids actually play with the playdough more when they help make it. R., your son is lucky to have a mom who puts so much thought into what will make him happy. Good luck.

Hi R.:

My three year old loves his reader book..it's a book that reads to the kids. There are a bunch of books available (Dora, Elmo, ScoobyDoo)It's easy to operate, not too pricey, and educational.

He also enjoys: Train track! he loves to move it around the house, Puzzles! a small TV w/ built in DVD player is nice too. For about 150.00 you can buy your son "a friend". My daughter turns on her movie and then plays upstairs, by herself...she uses it for background noise and it keeps her playing longer. Just an idea.
Good Luck! H.

my son just turned 3 on october 15th. He doesn't play by himself either if he doesn't have to. But if I put the gate up and make him stay in his room he finds ways of entertaining himself. Most of the time he is supposed to be napping though. He didn't laern to do this until he started playing with older kids though. It's like they taught him how to play. If you don't already start takeing him to the park or a plagroup where there are older kids. Better even is when new older kids play with HIS toys and he sees how they play with them. Good luck. My son got a tonka hellicopter for his birthday and a geotrax train set and he hasn't asked to watch tv ever since. :)

My son is five now and the thing that he has always plaid with is legos. I first got him legos at about age two. I had to show him how to play with them after that he was crazy about them and still today these are his favorite toys and keep him occupied for hours. (they are the little sqaure one inch ones.)

I don't know enough about your son to make this a recommendation but if I understand correctly what you're saying I'd suggest that you get him evaluated. Is he social? Does he interact with you or other kids? If not he may need some extra help.

The Federal Government requires that the school district provide testing and then treatment for kids who may have difficulties that could eventually make school difficult for them. It'a free.

My grandson still wasn't talking at 3 and his mother arranged for an evaluation. Now he's getting speech therapy. A friend's son was having difficulty in school. He was older. He was too rowdy, couldn't make friends, and was angry alot. He got government paid therapy.

It is hard to think that one's child needs special help and therefore easy to put off having an evaluation. My grandson would be better prepared for school if he'd started therapy sooner. Another reason to get an evaluation early is that you will be reassured if their is no problem.

My Son is 3 also he doesn't play with his toys much. He has never really been interested, He likes people and discovering new things. Boxes are his favorite thing to play with, crafts anything he can do with his hands. I don't think anything is wrong he just may be interested in something different. I definately suggest seeking out what he does like and expand on it and explore things that will challange him. He probabaly just adores his mommy. As far as playing with things that he shouldn't, try talking to him about why he shouldn't and why you don't like it, and then when he tries remind him, ask him why he shouldn't before he gets to it.

Good luck,
R.

Oh my son is 7 now and I know how challenging your son is. I finally got rid of all of the toys I wanted him to use and acceped my son is a kinetic one. We have a trapeze in our house and a trampolene outside. He prefers people stimulation and challenges my boundaries on my personal space to the extreme. He only recently started crafting guns and gameboys ou of cardbord with tape and markers and this is a huge movement from his younger attachments to constant need of attention- good luck and try body movement and music learning cd's- they help us.

R., both of mine were like that. they are simply more social. They would much rather play flash card games with Mom than play with a toy. My 7 year old still has a room full of toys that he begs for and then never (or rarely) uses! Does Owen like this type of interaction too? Mine both love game and puzzles that they can play with someone.

On a side note, what is your night job? That sounds rough! If you are ever looking for something different, please let me know. I have a great job that allows me to work when I want to!

M.

I know, pretend like you don't want him to play with the toys! Encourage him to play with plastic wrap and paperclips instead. Okay, I'll be serious now. My nephew had the same problem. He would play with maybe one or two of his toys, but he didn't care at all about the rest. The difference between the two toys he played with and the ones he neglected, was that he got to choose those two toys. I don't know if you've already done that, but once we involved him in the toy-choosing, he was much more likely to enjoy playing with them. Good luck!

My 12 yr old was like that when she was younger and my 18 month old is also like that. I found that they prefer to play with the box and the wrapping rather than the gift. What seems to really work with my kids are more creative hands on toys or activities, like a water or sand table, I think they sell them at Toys R Us or you can order them from www.lakeshorelearning.com. I would also put together boxes with child safe projects like paint, crayons,construction paper and anything else they might be interested in as long as it was safe non toxic and I had a area that they could create in that could with stand alittle mess. Good luck and Happy Birthday to Owen.

Z.

At that age my son wasn't that into toys either. He's gotten more into toys now. I try to buy toys that are creative and multi-use so he can use them in many ways as he grows older.

But mostly at 2-3 he wanted to play with people, go out and do things. We spent a LOT of time at OMSI, a membership is definitely worth it. We'd go to the kids room and he'd play with other kids and with all the stuff there. We also did classes at one of the community centers. Walks to the park. He'd sit while I read stories for hours.

Also, think about what kinds of things he's trying to play with that you don't want him to. I rearranged the kitchen so he could get into most of the lower cabinets and play with stuff in them. There's a drawer now in the kitchen which is full of his toys.

Hi R. (LOVE that name, that's what we named our 5 month old daughter!),

Perhaps toys aren't the answer. How would a birthday treasure hunt through the house be? You could hide little things (perhaps a movie to watch together later or a candy bar or stickers or a disposable camera, etc) with clues to the next item with the current 'treasure'. The first clue could come in a birthday card. With a sister and roommates I bet that would be fun for all.

Or how about a trip to farm or petting zoo? If you take lots of pictures, you can "extend" the birthday by helping him make a photo album of his special day when the pictures come back.

Do you have a back yard? If the weather is nice, a birthday in a tent is great fun! With that you could get him flashlights for a birthday present that I bet he'd go wild over.

All kinds of good birthday times to be had without "buying" a bunch of stuff. We all know the things we treasure most aren't always 'things'.

Have a great time!
Jenn

This is my opinion but I think it might be the toys. he probably grew out of them. A good thing to get for his age is learning materials. At walmart they have these preschool books where they learn how to wright and identify numbers and letters my 3.5 year old has a blast with that stuff. The best ones are the wipe offs because you dont have to buy more later. I also saw some at the 99 cent only store in the toy section or the school supply section. they only had numbers but its fun stuff like,"how many bananas?", and the kids draw a line from the bananas to the right number. with no day care you should be teaching him. My friend has a kid in 2nd grade but when he was in kindagarten they were teaching him reading and adding. my 3.5 year old went to day care and can add subtract Write her abc's and she is ahead of her age group. about 2 months ago they put her in the 4 year old room because she was so advanced (Not to brag or anything) but its all because of them. now that I can't afford day care anymore my son is going to miss out on that early education unless I step up and teach him. Its up to us mom's to get them ready for the world. Your son might as well do something educational instead of be bored.

Maybe it's time to give away the toys and start fresh? Our family moved from S.C. last year, and all we brought were suitcases of clothes and pictures. When the time came to restock the kids' rooms, we just took them to the toy store and watched them. Maybe you could take him and let him gravitate toward something new. Nobody says a BD present has to be a surprise. Think outside the box, like the Discovery Store. That's how I found my son's hidden love for engineering and blocks. He had never been interested in them before, and stumbled upon them in the store. He's been hooked ever since, and it's not something I would have ever picked for him.

Perhaps he wants YOU to play with him more? It sounds like he gets into things he's not supposed to get your attention. Maybe trying playing a couple games with him and then walking away. Check on him a couple minutes later.

Well I hope you can figure something out. Good luck.