Why Is My Toddler Agressive?

Try a little sign language!! It is so much fun, and virtually eliminates tantrums and communication issues. We use the Signing Time DVD's: www.signingtime.com

HTH!!
A.

It probably is just a faze, but like you said he is frustrated about not being able to express himself. One of the options are getting an appointment with his pediatrician and get a referal to a speech therapist. They are wonderful with addressing these kinds of concerns, and they will really help you and they will help him to teach him how to use his words. I had the same problem with my son at much younger age and we discovered that he had fluid in his ear and that was preventing him from hearing the words clearly, even though he could hear. This isn't neccersarily what is happening with your son, but it is worth having his hearing checked again. Sometimes it could be caused from ear infections. Who knows.
If that doesn't appeal to you, then you could always just try and be patient and repeat the words to him, when he wants something. For example, if he wants you to pick him up you say, "UP?" and let him say it before you pick him up. The same with milk, eat, drink, please etc. They also have wonderful books with sign langage for simple basic things. You could that and the words together. Reading to him is also very important. So is books with pictures that has a specific picture, such a dog, cat, apple, banana etc. Something that you could use to help him recognize, and put together the word with the picture. I know that it might be frustrating for the both of you, but try and have him say the word after you, and don't forget when he says, express how happy and proud you are of him. "Good job, you did it. Give him a high five or something. Make it fun for him. As for the aggressiveness, try and redirect him to something different. Try not to say, "no". Instead explain it to him in a positive way. "That hurts", "be nice", "use your words". Or something. "We can do this later. Let's try this first." There are many ways to address this, even though it might sometimes take time and patience.
Good luck.
N.

Have you tried some sign language with him? I highly recommend trying it. A friend gave me a book called Baby Talk, but there are a variety out there. I started with some basic signs and he also loves to watch the Baby Einstien dvd called First Signs. He has learned so much from our interaction as well as seeing other children sign in the dvd. I'm not saying my son is never frustrated, but signing alleviates most frustration. He is really trying hard to communicate and he signs and tries to say the word at the same time. It doesn't take long and isn't overwhelming to try. Kids catch on quickly and signing "all done" and "more" is where we started. Your son may be beyond some of these basic signs, but a book might be a place to start with some other signs. Hang in there and hope you find some good advice.

Teach him to sign. You actually don't know need to know how to sign to teach him some basic signs for food and juice or milk - you can find them on the internet or make them up for your family. You can also teach him some signs to express himself. No, it will not delay his speech any further in fact it may speed it along. When you speak to him, asking him if wants milk - show him the sign for milk. He will pick it up quickly if you are doing it too.

I happened to be in a Sign Language class when my son was just over a year. He learned to speak and sign at a very young age. Now he has zero problem communicating with all types of adults and children - he is almost 10. (He still is working on being able to talk to girls he likes though :) )

My sister's son did not talk a lot and had something wrong with his speech - she did teach him to sign and things became a lot easier on her. She did not know sign language but made her own signs for things. It worked and he is doing great. He is now 5 and very intelligent. He still speaks with a slight lisp but he can let you know what he likes and dislikes - with out a doubt.

Good luck.

J.

My son had the same problems. At this age it is ok to give your child a time out. Also make sure that your childs speech is on track. My pediatrician kept telling me my sone was fine. It wasn't until he was 31/2 that I had him tested and they said he was delayed. This can make it last longer. If you think that his speech might be delayed at the age of 3 he can be tested at your local school district for free.

F.,
Children have their way of expressing themself.Try talking to him in a soft voice. I didn't have mother skills so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I had parenting classes that helped me deal with my boys. Sometimes they feel left out, so they will resort to lashing out. I hope this helps. Good luck.

My daughter will also be 2 years old soon. I would suggest two things. We have a small rug we use as a time out spot when she breaks a house rule. I would tell her hitting is not ok and put her in timeout for 1 minute. My daughter also only has a vocabulary of about 4 words. I recently took her to be evalulated by RCEB ( Regional Center of the East Bay ###-###-####) it was free & now they have a speech therapist come to my house once a week for one hour to help with her speech which is also free. This program is only for kids up to age three. You may want to check it out if speech is a concern.

Hi F., Does he have a hard time expressing himself because he is having difficulty with speech, or is it he cannot verablize his feelings? If it is the first, difficulty with speech, it could be a speech delay like apraxia which my son has. I would recommend having him evaluated by a speech therapist. If it is the latter, I would get down to his level and talk to him. I would either ask are you sad or angry? Or I would say, I know you are upset about (fill in the blank), I would be to, but we don't hit because we are upset, we talk about it. Then I would proceed to talk to him and depending on the situation put my arms around him or give him a hug. I hope this advice helps.

F.,

Your son isn't "bad", he just a 2 yr old boy already testing his boundaries! :o)

My sister has taught her boys sign language when they were 1, so they could ask for: Drink, Food, Help, & All done. Just those 4 signs made there home a better place :o)

Also, even though he is only 2, it is important to keep constant on your reaction to his behavior. Laughter will increase it and make it worse, but raising your voice and telling him "NO" will get him to stop......eventually :o)

Good Luck!

~N. :o)

even at two you can put him on timeout just to show that there is a punishment for bad behavior... i know it sounds odd but i've seen it work with a friend of mine. make a timeout chair. timing goes by age... usually as many min as their age. it works if you can tough threw the tears. good luck. :) that has always and will always be my hardest thing to overcome.

They don't call them terrible twos for nothing, do they. My 2 year old is hitting and throwing while he adjusts to newborn twins in the house. I found this website to be very helpful:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t060500.asp

It encourages the soft and stern approach to discipline, I guess. I definitely find that taking a time out with my toddler, closing the door, and softly sort of, talking him off the ledge is much more effective then being angry and loud, which, as a first time parent, was my first instinct. Granted, while I do my best to remain calm, he is hitting and throwing, but I think by remaining calm this sort of makes him feel guilty and want to stop sooner.

I agree with the phase thing too, though. This morning, mine woke up and came out of his room saying "no" - without anyone having said or done anything to him yet.

My last tip is staying one step ahead of him - time his feedings - and have food ready before he asks for it. I know at the first sign of a tantrum for my little angel, he most likely hasn't eaten in a while and doesn't know how to tell me.

good luck to us all!

Both my kids went through that too! My oldest went through a biting stage, so my mom found a great book, "No Biting!" by Karen Katz, it not only addressed biting, but I believe hitting and other destructive behavior, it would sau something like, teeth are not for biting, teeth are for chewing food, or out hands are not for hitting our hands are for ... I might still have it around here and I am in Rancho Cordova, let me know if you would like for me to look around for it you are welcome to it. Don't worry I am sure your son will turn out to be a very nice boy! It just takes time and patience! Good Luck!

I understand my daughter is two and she has been getting mad and doesn't. Tell us why she is so upset. He may be teething and he is in so much pain he just gets angry. I found that time out and smaking her hand has helped not hard just enough so she can see it hurts when he scratch's and hits. She cut 4 teeth I teeth and 2 year molers all at the same time so you might want to check his gums. Also sit with him and make flash cards and teach him words with them teeth hurt mommy daddy drink toy and so on it helps.. I hope this helps. A.

F.,

Just have the pediatrician test him so that your mind can be put at rest.

It may be something but he may just need a speech therapist - it could be that simple.

Good luck and God Bless-

B.

Hi F.,

There are a number of reasons why are children are agressive today. To start of with how does he sleep? Is he getting enough clean water to drink and nutrition? Everyone has toxins in their system that need to be removed on a regular basis and if we are not removing them they build up in our system and can create problems in our behavior, the way we think and how we see things.

Check out these two web sites and learn more google minimata

www.nikken.com/ninamarie

Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

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Have a blessed day.

N. Marie