Why Is My 4 Year Old Constantly Teasing or Trying to Hurt Our Dog?

it's time to be firm with your little boy and stop trying a bunch of different things. he's not getting it, and it's not fair to the dog. i'd fix this young hooligan with my scariest mommy eye and tell him, 'if i see you being rough with this dog one more time you are to spend the rest of the day in your room' (or whatever your consequence for bad behavior is.) and enforce it, relentlessly.

don't ever let the dog be alone with him. ever.

no long explanations, no justifications or lectures or rationalizations or applications of logic. lower the boom swiftly and hard each time you see even a slight infraction. do it until he gets it.

if you can't get this under control, rehome your dog.

good luck!
khairete
S.

4 is definitely old enough to understand how to be gentle to another living being. If he doesn't stop you might have bigger problems with his future behavior/personality. You have some great suggestions below. If nothing works, please find the dog a peaceful new home.

I don't know why he's doing it but you need to make him stop. It's no different than if he were hurting a sibling. If one of my children ever teased or hurt one of our pets on purpose I would have taken both of their hands in mine, got down to their level and looked them in the eye and said we never, EVER hurt each other in this house, especially those creatures that are smaller than us and don't understand. You need to TELL him this, and mean it. Your tone alone should be enough to let him know you're serious, and if it's not, take something away, like TV or game time. He needs consequences for his behavior.

So your child doesn't listen to you? That's a problem in itself, dog or no dog. This is just unacceptable behavior and he needs to be punished for it. Does he act like this towards other kids? What do you use for punishment? Keep him away from the dog!!! and teach him some manners and how to listen to you!

Protect the dog. Do not allow or tolerate biting though, not ever. It is absolutely not okay for a dog to bite a family member (or anyone).

Stop trying so many things. Stop talking about it, since your child doesn't get the message. Every time the child does this, put the child in his room. No attention, no toys, no nothing. No playing with the dog is allowed, no touching, no nothing. Period. He doesn't understand "be gentle" so he has to understand "no." You have to enforce this.

Tell him he can play with the dog when he is 5 (or 6) and then only if he learns the rules. The problem is not just your dog. The problem is that your child will do this with the neighbor's dog or someone walking their dog on the street, and your child is going to get badly hurt.

You can also consider a large pen for the dog - there are flexible barrier fences that let you shape a large section of a room into a dog-only area. The dog can be in there with toys and water, a bed and a crate, and enjoy time away from your child.

They really cannot be in the room together until your child is much older.

Both the child and the dog need some training, and that may mean that you need some as well. Good dog trainers can come to the house and teach you what you are doing wrong and could do better. Sometimes having a trainer say the same thing to your son will have a greater impact that if you say it, especially if you are not consistent.

I have no idea why but you need to protect your dog.
That means the dog and child can never be alone together.
You need to make your child understand that you will not tolerate your dog being teased or mistreated.
Generally you want the dog to know that children are higher level pack members than they are - but if the kid is asking for trouble - let the kid know that YOU outrank him and he will leave the dog alone or risk punishment from you.
And yes, at least while I was growing up - sometimes the child was whacked with a newspaper instead of the dog.
Not that we do that now.

If your child doesn't stop or gets worse you are going to have to find another home for your dog and not have anymore pets.

You need to parent your child. Tell him this unacceptable.
Do not leave him alone with the dog.....ever.

Keep them apart. Get a safe place for your dog to be...like a separate room in the house.
Always monitor your child's behavior.
If he is older and continues to do this, take him to a counselor.

S.

Welcome to mamapedia.

You REALLY need to PARENT YOUR CHILD. Get down on HIS LEVEL and tell him THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. EVER.

Your 4 year old might need some mental help. That's NOT NATURAL.

Please protect your DOG from your child. DO NOT allow your son near your dog. It's not fair to the dog that he has to protect himself from a human.

Does he try and hurt any other animals? Does he get pleasure (squeals in delight) when he tries to hurt your dog or any other animal?

I would ask my child WHY he is trying to hurt the dog. Make sure it's an open ended question - and then keep asking questions.

PROTECT THE DOG. If that means surrendering it to a rescue, then I would do that. I'd get my son checked out by a therapist too.

Keep the child away from the dog, period! Diane B's suggestion about getting a trainer sounds like a good one, as the trainer may be able to teach your child how to respect the family dog and because the trainer is an "authority" figure (meaning, a stranger, and someone who knows a lot about dogs), the child may take him more seriously than words coming from mommy whom he may not respect as much. If your child keeps terrorizing the dog and you cannot find common ground, do the poor pet a favor and let him find a new home where he can be left in peace.

I like the idea of having a dog trainer come to the home, but I also feel like there isn't enough information here to really understand what is happening. Is your son being deliberately mean, or does he just get too excited around the dog? Is he just wanting to play and doesn't know good ways to play with the dog, or is he having a difficult time managing his body? An OT assessment might be helpful if this isn't the only time that "gentle" is a struggle. Or, if he is being deliberately mean, the question would be "why?" Is someone in your son's life being mean to him? Is he angry or jealous of the dog for some reason? I think if you can understand the purpose of the behavior you will be in a better position to address it.

I think your question is why does he do this? If you knew why you would be able to know how to manage his behaviour.

My first thought about your question is are you asking if this normal or should I be talking with a therapist? Is he intentionally being mean or is his behaviour something I can manage with a different approach? If so, what can I try?
RN L asked questions that need answers before you will get more helpful answers. I suggest that if he is purposely being mean, the answers are different than if he doesn't know how to play with the dog. I suggest you talk with a professional person, perhaps a child therapist, for help in determining why he's mean to the dog.

An important part of determining your son's reasons for teasing/hurting is knowing if he acts this way with you or children. A therapist will have other questions to help suggest his reasons and how to change his behaviour.

Consequences. Son teases dog, son gets reprimanded, time out, no fun/no toys. EVERY TIME. You've shown him how to behave, but he's getting more attention and reaction by not behaving. No more "showing him how to be gentle". He has that info. Now he needs the "if I'm not gentle, I'm in trouble".

Also, have the "how would you like it if someone / pulled on your ear; poked you, teased you, grabbed you, etc. - to you?" Your son needs to learn empathy and connect his actions with feelings/repercussions.