Why Is It...

Not much advice, just wanted to say THIS IS US. It's very frustrating - I feel your pain!

My son is much younger, but he does the same thing. I haven't always handled it well in the past, but two things have helped:

1. I bought a soccer ball-shaped timer. He loves to set it himself and he is very responsive when it rings.

2. Some days I just go with it when he's acting like he can't do it. I'll say "come on, yes you can! First we..." and help him. It's definitely a way for them to get attention when you're preoccupied with getting out the door.

As for the independent thing, THAT has been the hardest. One time did I actually try to muscle him through getting dressed and it was a miserable failure.

I'm looking forward to reading the advice you'll get from others on this.

Good luck!

I think you're right. She wants to be a big girl, but she doesn't want to quit being a little one. She's a little scared, and being helpless is sort of a security blanket. And she doesn't realize it.

You're probably doing what you can. Patience, patience. Once your girl really starts kindergarten next week, she may improve quite a bit.

If she were my girl, when she acted like a baby I'd be amused. "You need me to help you get your pajamas? Well, if I help you, I get to pick them. You need me to help you with your socks? Well, I'll do it the way I did it when you were one year old - how's that?" Sometimes you do have to be firm, saying, "No, you need to do this NOW and quickly. If you want me to help you with things, I'll do that tonight, but this morning we need to get in the car fast."

However, do help her once in a while when she asks for it, and make that help into some good mama-daughter minutes. You'll miss those times one day.

Sounds very normal. I think she is doing a lot for her age. Some days, she just may not be feeling it. I can relate with her. lol

My daughter is 7 now and I think she finally has the routine together, but I still help her a bit.

Oh, you just visited my house, didn't you? ;)

I've written about this a lot on my blog. Yes, it's perfectly normal for kids to get a bit regressive around this big transition. It would annoy me more if I hadn't seen many versions of this as a nanny already. Usually, I try to do the 'I need assistance' stuff earlier than necessary, so I can break off what I am doing if need be.

Here's a example: three weeks ago, we had a capable little guy who would eat dinner, go tidy up his room, get his pajamas on--- easy as pie. Now, we have the sad-mouthed "I can'ts" creeping out of that room. After some reflection, Joe and I decided to switch the routine so that Kiddo has to get those same tasks (minus pjs, depending on the meal) done BEFORE he even comes to the table for dinner. If he needs 'company' while dressing, I have him bring his clothes out to us and just dress in the kitchen while I put the finishing touches on dinner. This way, the major conflict is knocked out way before bedtime rolls around.

I try to steer clear of language which tells him to be/labels him as "Big boy". He really doesn't want to be big all the time, sometimes he wants to go back to being a preschooler. We try to give empathy when he brings up those conversations, and also keep up our usual expectations as much as possible. Sometimes, a hard hour cues me in to his need for connection. He's wanted to be in my lap *all the time* lately, so we've upped the snuggle time during the day, and also tried not to over-schedule our life so that there's plenty of time to take things slower. (Granted, we are in the position to do that, some families aren't.)

Lastly, try doing some 'alternate' helping: "You go brush your teeth and then I'll help you with X"...give them the opportunity to get help with some things which are convenient for you to help with while assigning them something to do first. Doesn't always work, but it's a bit of a carrot. I do have a couple sticks up my sleeve for not-listening/arguing/not following directions, but that's another post and those sticks only come out when I feel like things are getting really out of balance.

Good luck!

I think it is normal. At 5, they are torn between being a toddler and growing up. Some days, they want to be the big kid; some days not.

I also think that when you are rushing, she feels that stress and really feels like she can't do whatever you've asked her to do. If she doesn't sense your urgency, she might have more confidence to do what you're asking.

Sounds exactly like morning at my house. The more I rush her the less she does.