Why Having Kids Was/is a Good Idea! JFF

Updated on February 24, 2012
J.K. asks from Audubon, IA
47 answers

So I spend a lot more time reading this forum than posting on it and I have to say it has changed my opinion about having kids.

For most of my life I've always wanted kids. Even more so when I met my fiance. I want our little genetic babies running around. I want to teach them language and watch them grow up and learn and become their own poeple.

But now that I'm having to deal with a connective tissue disease, I deal with daily fatigue, pain, and aches. I can barely get through the work day, get the dishes done, do laundry... I've had to change my habits and schedules a lot to accomodate this. I do have pets, and I love them, but when I think down the road to kids! NO WAY!

And then I read about "My kid won't poop!" or "My kid throws up and then I can't go to work!" and "My kid has X sickness" and I think just how hard it is to have kids. Both my fiance and I realize we're not mature enough at this time to have kids and it would be at least 10 years down the road, but from right now I'm thinking there is no way I could handle kids!

For you mommies or daddies, what makes all of it worth it to you?

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B.

answers from Augusta on

The tax deduction! ;)
ok j/k

when I hear " mommy would you cuddle with me for a little bit" from my10 yr old
or "mommy can I have another night night hug and kiss. "
or
when my 10 yr old tells dad " no dad I don't want to go to the store I'm going to stay here and take care of mommy" ( this is today)

3 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My own close relationship with my mother makes me realize that, yeah, sometimes it's tough and kids can be a messy pain in the butt, but if I can have a relationship with MY son and daughters like I have with MY mom, it's all worth it, every last bit.

2 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

When they yell "MOMMY" from across the room and come running and jumping into my arms every day when I pick them up or walk through the door at home is when I know every sleepless night, every dirty diaper, every sick day, every tear, bump and bruise (mine and theirs!) was/is all worth it!!! My heart melts and for just a few moments the world stops and all is good.
I had no idea I would love motherhood as much as I do.

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More Answers

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

As soon as you pop one out, you can drive in the diamond lane. ALL THE TIME.

7 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I thought I would be too selfish and lazy. I didnt see myself getting up all hours feeding one and never sleeping inagain. But, the funny thing is, you grow into it. Waiting until you're ready to have kids - you will never be ready. But when you get pregnant - you change. It's miraculous.

6 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Well back before the cable boxes got so complicated they made amazing back up remote controls. :)

6 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You don't know love until you have your child. I didn't understand this statement until I had my son so I don't really expect you to understand. But when you DO finally have your child 10 years later, you'll think back on comments like mine and think "ohhh now I get it". :) It's not to say that you don't love your fiance or your family or your friends but the love for your baby is just so incredibly all-consuming. It's literally like your heart is walking around outside your body. I feel like my whole view of myself and the world changed when I had my son. It's like life before was 3d and now I'm seeing in 4d.

6 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

What makes it worth it for me?

It's just not comparable. I mean, for every dirty diaper, tantrum, or worry they have brought me, there has been five times the amount of laughter, hope, strength, curiosity, adventure, connection and LOVE.

I have learnt more about myself and about my potential from my experience as a mother/auntie-mama (I raise one birth child and my sister's birth child) than I have from any other series of experiences I've lived. My kids give me the ability to grow, change, evolve, love, have faith, and have courage.

There's a Yiddish proverb, "Man plans, God laughs". As a mother, I find this is especially true. Parenting is not a destination nor do we ever get to stand still as parents. Yes it's challenging, yes it can be exhausting/tedious/frustrating/sad/scary, and it is also the most glorious process I've been able to be a part of. I've learnt to be a mother as I go.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

My mom did NOT want to have babies, but birth control was not effective enough and she had four. Our upbringing was pretty awful, and I knew I was a dysfunctional mess by the time I got out of my mother's house. Sadly, the way I escaped was to marry too early, to a husband even more arbitrary and controlling than my mother. (Young women tend to "marry what they know.")

But I thought I would spare humanity, and an innocent child, the burden of birthing another one, and decided young not to have children. I also, way back in the 60's, could see that overpopulation was a problem to take seriously, and didn't want to add to the burden the Earth was already carrying.

But five years later, still in that rocky marriage but having done a great deal of emotional work and self-improvement, I was amazed to wake up one day with the knowledge that I was to have a child, and that I'd be a good-enough mom. I went off the Pill and was pregnant a month later. I read parenting books voraciously, and took copious notes, ate well and exercised religiously. And had a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

I stopped with one child, knowing I didn't have the emotional or financial resources for more. And I am more concerned than ever about the future of the millions of babies we're putting on this planet. But I gave my daughter my best, and it was good enough. I did a great deal more growing up, as motherhood requires, but my delight was beyond measure. Sleepless nights and constant demands were not more than I could endure (although if I had been challenged then by the health issues that plague me now, I would have suffered more, I'm sure).

Between four sisters, we have only two, now grown, children. Two sisters realized that they are badly screwed up, and resisted the temptation to reproduce. One of them has been emotionally disabled for decades, and the other rescues dogs. I've been a grandmother for 6 years now, and am part of my grandson's life – another source of bottomless joy. I love those opportunities to see the world and its wonder through the eyes of a child. Because I made such a conscious choice to be the best possible parent, I can honestly say every single day, even the highest-stress ones, were/are worthwhile and deeply rewarding for me.

I raised a happy, healthy, responsible, caring daughter who married a brilliant, capable and caring man, and they are now raising a son who is so much like her (and him). And we are all still below the "replacement" number of babies, so I don't feel guilty about the environment.

But I don't want to talk you into something you're not sure about. I do think you can wait to be sure you want to parent – I did and most of the women I know did. I also have a number of older women friends, who, for a range of reasons, never gave birth. They are largely content with their lives and don't feel than anything is missing. Some of them are beloved aunties to other people's kids. Some of them consider their pets to be family enough. Many of them are remarkably accomplished scholars and career people. Having babies is not a requirement for life happiness, and it's not for everybody. Thank goodness birth control is available now.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Keep in mind that this site in most part is for getting advice from other moms (and dads) so you are going to see many more problems than positive moments. In reality, for every one struggle there are way more wonderful moments of being a parent. There is a joy that only being a parent, whether it be adoptive, step, birth, etc, can bring. My husband and I used to decide against having kids every time we watched my niece and nephew, way too much work! Tongue in cheek there. Having your own, it really and truly is an amazing gift. I know I am not explaining it very well, I just cannot find the words to describe the joy and love and happiness my kids bring me, barf, constipation, mess and all!

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Watching her learn. Seeing the little lightbulb go off over her head when she's trying to figure something out and finally gets it. Watching her grow from a totally dependent little creature to someone who is not only willing, but eager to help me out around the house. I own pets too and I have to say, in my limited experience, kids are much better.

Pets stay infantile and dependent their whole lives. Your kids learn and grow to become more independent and helpful, even to the point they can start taking care of their animal "brothers and sisters".

Personality. It's great to discover your child's personality. You knew them when they were a parasitic, leech-like thing... and now they're cracking jokes and making you laugh. Brining you toilet paper when you find yourself on the pot without a shred in arms reach. Accepting of your flaws, loving you, even the parts of you that wiggle and you wish would go away.

Sure there's boogers, and poop, and vomit and time away from work. But on the other side, there's the little hand that rests on your cheek when she sees you are feeling down. The little hugs and kisses. The sweet words and unconditional love that fosters a deep rooted protectiveness in you that you thought you could never feel.

I never thought I'd have kids either. I just didn't see it fitting into my life and to be sure, having kids changes your life completely. Sometimes I miss the way things were ten years ago when we had more money and time for ourselves, but the thought of giving my my daughter to get that stuff back... it makes me deeply unhappy. I wouldn't give her up for anything.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

When they absolutely refuse to do what you tell them, do what you tell them not to do, knock down the things you tell them to leave alone, spend the day screaming at the top of their lungs, spill milk and juice for the umpteenth time--and then go to sleep after giving you that HUGE hug and kiss. Then you look in on them and wonder who could have been the little monster during the day because right now you have your angel?
And when yuo drop them off with school/grandparent/etc and they just have to run and give you just one more hug and when you pick them up it is like you took them to the circus because they are so happy to see you.

3 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from Houston on

Above all else seeing my son's face light up for whatever reason makes it all just fine in the world.

Lately my husband starts telling our son I'll be home soon so our son has taken to standing by the front window. The moment I pull in the driveway he starts banging on the glass, waving his hand in a welcoming wave and doing this up and down happy dance thing. All with the biggest smile on his face. Utterly priceless and worth all the hard times so far. Each stage will have its own example of this as our son grows.

3 moms found this helpful

N.A.

answers from Chicago on

I think our children keep us going, active and always bring out the "kid" in us. I had my oldest at age 17 (married) and yes of course we were scared and had NO idea how to handle any situation but we managed. I think we have also learned alot from our kid's. Everything we do in life need's effort and time so what make's having kid's any harder? I respect your opinion and your post and your honesty. We fostered a dog last summer and when I seen how much work went into taking care of a dog and having to literally take them out for a walk or to do a #2 I figured that we are better off trying for baby #4! Lol! I love my job as a mother reguardless of how stressful it can be but my husband and I see ourselve's in our children. I don't know how or what I would be today had I not had any children, my family live out of state so it's just hubby and kid's for me. Also, hearing our children come up to us and just say "Mommy-Daddy I love you" is just priceless, it makes your heart just melt! I still rember the day I gave birth to our oldest daughter, when they finally put her in my arms, I just cried and whispered to her "I love you" the bond, the feeling, your heart melting, that was what I felt holding my baby girl as my hubby stood by balling his eyes out, its the most amazing feeling ever. I have 2 girls and one boy they are our pride and joy. And when I gave birth to each one of them it wasn't any different then the first. I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it! I don't know what type of woman I would be today had I not had any children, all I know is they make both hubby and I happy and proud to be their parent's. The bond you have with your own child is amazing and beautiful. Children are truely a blessing!

Add- Omg! I'm literally balling my eyes out reading all the responses! Love it! And I agree with all! Even with all the fighting that goes on between the kid's it's all worth it....

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

oh bless you for realizing you're not ready :) you will make a great mom ONE DAY, when you are. that shows wisdom and strength of character.

i agree with the statement that you don't know love until you have a child. it's that simple. it surpasses anything you can imagine, and words DON'T do it justice. once you are ready, and you have one, you'll know :)

it also gives you strength you never knew you had. i can do anything if i know it's best for my child. that is amazing.

and that's not counting all the adorable, warm and fuzzy, hysterically funny, touching, precious moments along the way. the knowledge that someone loves you so completely that nothing you ever did, no matter how you screwed up, could change it.

it's truly the most "worth it" of anything else in the entire universe.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

For me it's how they've changed me for the better. I'm a bit more patient, more flexible, more understanding of other people (I'm saying "more", not perfect at all) Having kids puts the little things in perspective. You also get to be part of the "mommy club". I miss freedom and stuff but look at friends without kids and think it might get a bit boring. Only things in life that are hard work are worth it, right? And besides all that, it's the hugs and holding their hands. But you're right, it's hard. And my thing is not all kids turn out great... Are all adult children a joy to their parents? Nope. So I have to say I stopped at two. I think you're smart to wait - knowing I had plenty of "me" years definitely helps. Having some money saved also does. So in 10 years, you might be more ready. It's honestly a love you just can't imagine otherwise. It's amazing.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Perspective and meaning. More simply, I have room in my heart which swells when I see my DD smile, run, play, talk, and yes, even the tantrums, poop or lack thereof. There is not just one thing or one word.

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J.E.

answers from Boston on

For me, it's the cycle of life, the knowing that things will get easier with time...that for all the "hard" times come a ton of good times and laughter as well. I actually posted today how being a stay at home mom is the most thankless job and I've had more than a rough/emotional day today but you know what, when all is said and done, my kids are healthy, bubbly, and great kids!!! :)

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

You got many SWEET stories about kids, I'll go in the other direction. (And yes, I love my kids as much as anyone.) Not everyone has to have kids! If physical reasons are a problem, or you just feel having kids in your family isn't the way to go - it's OK. You can still leave your mark on the world, you can be a great aunt or special friend to a child...you don't HAVE to have children yourself, if it's not right for you.

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✩.!.

answers from Denver on

For me, well, it is the love we share and the joy of teaching and learning from eachother.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Kudos to you for being mature enough to realize that kids are a lot of work, and EXPENSE! I love my kids to death and am so thankful I have them but the smarty pants in me would be remiss if I didn't mention that if you put it on paper kids are so not worth it! I put out a lot of time, energy and money for those sweet valentines and mothers day cards (let me take a moment to notify all of you that I am the best mom ever... according to my sweeties). I can only hope that when we turn them loose they make good decisions and pick a really nice nursing home for me when I get old :-)

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

let me tell you a story.. when i first discovered i was pregnant;i had the most vivid dream, in this dream i got woken up by a tiny tug on my skirt. and the words"pick me up, grandma", i looked down, and there was a small child with the same asian features that i have.. and flame red hair!i pick the child up, i look around, and i am surrounded by sailors, soldiers, salesmen, and even a few Marines , all with the same mix of features that ben and i have. i realized then that these people would never be born if something happened to my child
K. h.

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S.F.

answers from Lincoln on

In just a few words...the good days. No matter how bad the bad days are, the good days always outweigh the bad days. The first steps, the messy face and body when they try to feed themselves, the smiles, the first words and watching them grow and learn at a rate that will always amaze you. Absolutely worth it.

Also, keep in mind that most people post their issues and problems in order to find solutions. Unfortunately most people don't post comments about all their good days. So it tends to look like everything is bad when in reality it is not. Good luck. parenthood is stressful and hard for everyone but it is still worth it.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

The love I have for them, and the love they have for me makes it all worth it. Just seeing these little people that my husband and I created, and seeing our features and traits in them is just amazing.

There have been some really hard days. Kids get sick, or injured, and there are some nights you don't sleep at all, but I'd do it all again. In a heartbeat!

It is SO worth it!

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B.K.

answers from Boston on

I feel you mama! I have no "genetic" kids but I have step kids. I have questioned now myself. And, no , it's not "you're a stepmom" -- my stepkids love me, always ask to talk on the phone to me but just the day in and day out. I was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue and getting them up for daycare was a nightmare - but I did it. The poops - I've learned to deal with but still...It's always nice when it's my husband and the two dogs when all visitation is done. I question myself too. You are not alone.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's worth it to me, but I don't have the health challenges you do. Kids aren't for everyone and I admire people who know and admit that having kids isn't for them. Several women in my book club are childless and past child-bearing age. They make wonderful aunts!

Here is why it is worth it to me: it is a love and bond like no other that is hard to put into words. When they are babies and toddlers they are cute and innocent and so fun to hold, rock and hug. It's so rewarding to watch them grow and learn. They start as little helples blobs who are totally dependent on adults and then they learn simple things like drinking from a cup and then more complicated things like reading, swimming and riding a bike. As they learn to communicate they never cease to amaze with their blunt honesty, wit and sometimes ignorance. I used to keep a journal of the funny, witty, clever and stupid things my kids said. As they get into middle school and high school you watch them participate in sports, band, scouts and drama. I also love to do kid things so it's a great excuse for me to play board games (even Candyland and Chutes and Ladders), see kid movies, hang out at waterparks and go to Children's Museums. For my husband, it's a great excuse to play catch and hang out on a baseball field coaching. I miss many of those things now that my kids are 12 and 15.

Here's a little story from my journal of "kidisms:" When my youngest was about 4 he was playing outside and picked up something in the yard and was cradling it in his mitten. He was walking towards me whispering, "poor little guy, poor little guy." So I asked him what he found and looked into his mitten. As recognition hit me I said, "That's rabbit poop." He screamed and threw the poop into the air and shouted, "I thought it was a dead lady bug!!"

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C.M.

answers from Omaha on

For me its the strength they gave me from day one- and to #1 i am invincible. When you get a hug right before bed. Chocolate kisses ( or any kisses). hugs that take your breath away and knowing that the little man running around is your new true love. When they are sick its when you get cuddles. When they through a fit you have to laugh at some of the stupid-ness. My kids yes both even though one is gone are my true happiness in life.

You don't know the joy until you hold your own.

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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

For me, it's how proud I feel at each and every little accomplishment he has. Your child is your biggest investment ever (all your time, your money, your thoughts, your efforts) and the rewards are amazing.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Lucia B made a good point. This site is for questions us moms have for other moms so you're not usually seeing everyone's best moments, but people's problems and difficulties.

I have 3 kids. I'm 34 years old, and I was married at age 21. I lived in Manhattan for the first 10 years of my marriage. I NEVER thought I'd live in the suburbs, or drive a minivan or carpool...well...here we are...

My kids are 10 months old son, 4 and 5 yrs old daughters. They are messy, time consuming, expensive and frustrating at times. I have lost sleep because of them, gained weight because of them, endured excruciating pain because of them, had 2 c-sections because of them and had to go through hell recovering from that. I have permanent stretch marks and a pouch in my belly that never existed before them. I have wider hips and bigger feet because of them.

I also have the biggest love I have ever felt, and the most meaning and purpose to my life I could ever know. I look forward to every day with them, I am so happy to see their little faces in the mornings. When I hear my son wake up from his nap, and I go in his bedroom and flip on the light, and I say "Hi baby, you're up!" and then I see his arms and legs flailing and kicking and he squeals in excitement, and reaches for me, I am so full of love I could burst.

When my 5 year old started writing this year, and started writing sticky notes all over the house saying "I love my family" I couldn't stop this swelling of love and joy from my head to my toes.

When my 4 yo tells me she loves me as much as the sun, the moon, the earth and even ice cream - it is indescribable.

Feeling their soft faces on mine, their beautiful lips give me a kiss, their chubby little hands on my neck, or kissing their faces while they sleep...

I could go on and on. I cannot imagine my life without my kids. Every moment makes it worth it. Even the not so good ones. They are fleeting.

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S.K.

answers from Denver on

everything about it is worth it. Having something to do after work, otherwise i'd go home and sit down and not move until bedtime, spend hours of Playing call of duty with the husband. But instead Im playing referee, nurse, cook for these little ones who need me. Then as Im at my wits end with the bickering, bruises and cuts, and the I'm hungry they ask me for snuggle time while we watch some show. We all hunker down in a blanket and they tell me several times that they love me, sometimes they fall asleep with their heads propped up against me and sometimes they dont. But without those two little creatures my life would be pretty dull.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

You are right. It ain't easy. In fact it is tiring and takes up all your time and your life is never the same.

But you know how you love those pets? They are wonderful, aren't they? I adore my pets too......... but the love you have for a child is crazy!

Children teach us so much. They give us a feeling of responsibility, and how to care about someone else more than ourselves. They teach us how to Love.

BUT, they aren't the only way to learn or love. Not everyone HAS to have kids. I can see why you might choose not to.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

It's fun! Yes, it's hard and a ton of work, but when those big eyes look up at you it melts the stress away.

My husband never thought he wanted children. When we met he was indifferent about it, but it was a deal breaker for me. After some thought he figured we could have one and see how it went. He is madly in live with our son and can't wait for our baby girl next month! Things change -

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

PURPOSE TO LIFE. when you dont have kids.. it is all about you. you go to work,, make money.. spend money on yourself.. maybe go out to dinner.. maybe go on vacation..

then you have a child..you (the parent ) takes a backseat and the needs of the child comes first.. We didnt travel for several years ... too hard with kids.. we didnt go out to dinner too hard... we ate at home.. we played at home.. cause it was best for the kids.. I so enjoy watching them grow and learn.. although the joy of watching them develop is mixed with the sadness of them growing up and away. Having kids changes everything.

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P.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I laughed when I saw Katie L.'s post. I too was never really a babysitter & wasn't fond of kids, that's other people's kids. I wanted my own for sure. We went through a TON to have our son. He will be our only child & that is ok by me. OMG, they are so much fun. To watch them go from babies, eating on their own, to talking, to using the bathroom. The 1st time (& every time really) they say they love you, melts your heart. The way their little minds think, so sweet & innocent. My son is in 5K right now, he's learning to read. It's like I have to learn all over again with him because to me it comes easy, to him he has to work at it like we all did when we started but I do not remember that. He does some things just like his dad, some just like me & some are his own. Having kids is the best gift in the world. It's not for everyone though so if down the road you feel healthwise you just don't/can't do it, then that's something you will have to live with & if you're happy with that then that's all that matters :0) Good luck & praying for better health for you!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

... "Mommy, Daddy I love you, can I come cuddle with you?" ... um yep that's about it.

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✤.J.

answers from Dover on

My 12 year old son & 11 (almost) year old daughter are, by far & away, my life's greatest accomplishments. I'm not a supermodel, I'm not artistic, I am still working on my patience, I'm pretty smart, kind of funny & a really good cook, but nothing I ever do or don't do will ever outshine these totally amazing little people I created.

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N.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'll start by saying I love my girls deeply and would never be without them. I'm also a pretty damn good mom. But, if I could go back in time to before I ever had them and I didn't know how amazing they would be, and I just knew how difficult it really would be to be a mom; I don't think I'd have kids.

My older daughter is a complete angel and they've been raised in the same house, by the same mom. But, sometimes, troublesome personality traits are just the luck of the draw.

My youngest was difficult since before she was born, she was extremely active during pregnancy, she was two weeks late, and after 12 hours of labor I ended up having a c-section. When she was 4, she accidentally (?) suffocated her sister's pet. I just got an email from her first grade teacher about her taking her top off in class, last week it was her trying to stab a classmate with a pencil, the week before it was saying "butt sweat" repeatedly in class, before that it was writing "I hate MJ" in big letters on a sheet she was working on with MJ, and she just lies to everyone all the time).

I honestly don't know where she got all of this aggression and inappropriate behavior from. Our home life is pretty normal, there's not a lot of cursing, no one goes around naked, we're not abusive (emotionally or physically), she's not heavily criticized or neglected.

Of course, there are also those moments when she's wonderfully sweet and thoughtful, like the time she ran to help a lady up that fell at the plant store. She's all of 50 pounds, but she was gonna help that lady back to her feet. Sadly though, the difficult days with this one greatly outnumber the good days.

Still, since she is in my world now and I love her with my whole heart, I will not rest until I help her to find the balance, sensitivity, and kindness that she is so sorely lacking. I see glimpses of good behavior, I'm hoping to one day see more and more.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

We had kids so they could clean the house, mow the lawn and take care of us in our old age! Bahahahaha!

It is hard work. Raising kids is not for the faint of heart but than neither is marriage. Life is messy! But oh let me tell you it is worth it!

Our daughter was so funny. Her idea of cussing was saying "baby". When she would get mad at us she would look at us and go "baby". Oh, you had to try really hard to not laugh. But when she would slip her little hand in mine and say "I love you mommy". Hmm yeah so worth it.

Our son was a little mischief maker! Oh he was a hand full. But his belly laughs? Wow totally priceless. He would climb out of his crib and sassay down the hall. You could hear the swishing of his diaper butt! Oh, I wanted to paddle that diaper butt a couple of times too! But after a long day at work and I would go pick him up he would come running up and hug and say "I missed you Mommy". Yep, melts your heart.

Like I said, life is messy but it sure is a hell of a ride!

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N.S.

answers from Omaha on

The answer is simply the Love! Like another mom said you don't truly know love until you have your own child. For all the bad times there are twice as many wonderful times! I couldn't imagine how my life would be without my two little girls and I never want to!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Good for you for deciding to wait. What you are dealing with now would make it extremely difficult to cope with the demands of a baby.

There are times when having a baby -- or a baby and a preschooler -- is so hard you'll want to cry. Your body isn't your own, and your time isn't your own, for YEARS.

When I had mine, I was healthy. And I just loved their faces. Loved snuggling them. Enjoyed their adorable personalities. Now they are 11 and 14 and still wonderful.

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

J.,
Having kids is like anything in the sense that every good comes with some not so good. But when it comes to kids, everything is worth it. How they amaze so easily, how they smile how they are honest, and love you unconditionally, and how when they grow you can see a reflection of the things that you like in yourself and a little bit of a reflection of things you don't like so much. Parenting is not easy, it is the most difficult project you will ever take on, but nothing will ever give you as many joys and accomplishments than parenting. The most important thing and what makes having kids a good idea is, you will have someone to love, and someone who will always ALWAYS love you.
My sister like you thinks she is too young to have children, but I know that when she is ready, she will be a great mom and so will you. Good Luck.

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

All the crappy difficulties are so very minor to the big wonderful picture of having little people you love so much. This site is just used to get advice about problematic things, that's all. Before I had kids, I thought of all the inconvenient little reasons it would be hard to have them. Now I feel such a sense of accomplishment in managing all the trials AND enjoying my kids 99% of the time. I wouldn't go back in time for the world.

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

So far the moments that warmed my heart were:

When I saw him for the first time
When he latched onto my breast right away like a pro
How he got hungry every time I sat down to eat (This started day one, as soon as my food was dished up and ready to go he wanted to nurse even if he had just nursed before hand (Actually... This is still true... He'll eat an entire meal, see my food, and want more)).
When he sneezed for the first time and looked at me like 'What the hell was that?'
Every new thing that he learned how to do
Chasing him around the house saying 'I'm gonna get you' and him squealing with laughter
How much closer he's brought my fiance and I (We loved each other before our son was born, but we love/appreciate each other so much more now)
All the quirky little things that he does

Trust me... Kids are definitely worth it.

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

you can spin in circles without being sent to a mental insititution
the fact we love them enough to talk about their bowel movements is proof enough=)
Seriously
The things I learn from my daughter are priceless
Looking at the world through a kids eyes makes you realize how much we overlook. How a leaf falling from a tree can simply be amazing, how the light shining through the window and making a rainbow on the floor is absolutely beautiful.
How they seem to have endless love
how remarkable and hysterical their passion for life can be
I mean come on tantrums are annoying but its amazing how passionate they can be about the smallest things

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B.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

Oh everything. It is impossible to regret even a second of poopy diapers, spit up, drool, snot, middle of the night feedings, baths, missed outings, or even the embarssment of having 'that kid' that is months old and yelling in the store. Every smile, every milestone, the first touch when they lay a warm wet baby on your belly. The laughs, when they reach for you, when grandma wants to say hi to your 3 month old on the phone and the baby screams in her ear. The way they look for you when they hear your voice. Splashing in the tub. Their own unique little things they do, my daughter taps my breast with her first two fingers while she's nursing. It makes you wish you could engrave every second into your brain forever. Your universe revolves around them. Love and happiness doesn't even exist without them.

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D.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Trust me, if you are not ready, you are not ready. Don't let anyone tell you one should have children to feel love or meaning of life. I have a soon-to-be 3 yr old and I still don't get what most moms are writing poetry about. It is extremely hard work, mentally and physically taxing. There are some special moments, but no time or energy to think about right now. I find my health going down after he was born and not up. I think your intuition is right. When you get your health back, think about it again. Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

There is no greater reward then seeing your little one grow and develop and become their own unique person, and know how much of it is because of you and what you do for them and how much you love them. And no matter what kind of day you are having, or how irritated you might get because they seem hell-bent on making you lose your mind, they love you anyway - you are their whole world to them.

That, and the tax deduction. ;)

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