Who Ya 'Sposed Ta Call? on Mother's Day

Updated on May 15, 2012
M.R. asks from Rowlett, TX
24 answers

Say that like the Ghostbuster song... heheheh

My answer would be, well MYmom.. Also my mother in law, were she still on this plane of existence. Maybe my stepmother, if I thought of her as a mother to me. (I don't but that is because I do not know her at all) In my thinking the only person I am really expected to call on Mother's Day would be my mother (and the mother of my children, were I a guy)

My children are still at home, but I would expect them to call me on Mother's Day.

I was just chastised by my sister in law for not calling her to wish her a happy Mother's day. She was also hurt that her brother (my husband) didn't call her. She seriously fully expected a call. She really didnt like it when I asked why she would expect a call when she is not his mother, even though I was just teasin her.

So is there an etiquette on who you are supposed to call on Mother's Day? Do you expect a call from all of your family?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

LOL replace the word "call" with whatever you do to communicate the sentiment

I got a few texts from friends throughout the day and one from the sis in law late in the day. My sister sent me a card too. I replied to most of the texts that I didnt get too late in the evening. (I don't keep my phone on me during the weekends) The only people I expect it from are my kids and husband. I would never chastise anyone (other than them) for not wishing me a happy mothers day though.

I appreciate all your thoughts! Belated Happy Mother's Day to ya'll!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.P.

answers from Houston on

Hmm, what IS the etiquette? I call people who have mothered me at some point--mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, special aunts and older friends who have been motherly to me, mothers of certain exes who are still motherly to me. That's it. I don't call my friends unless they're new mothers or have recently lost mothers or are dealing with some other difficulty involving motherhood.

Since I have mothered his children, I expect it from my husband.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I dont expect anything. But it was really nice when people wished me a Happy Mother's Day besides my husband.

Some tell all the Mothers they know, some dont. I dont think their is an etiquette on it, its just a do as you feel thing.

I texted my girls and wished them a Happy Mom's Day because I felt like it. And my brother wished me one because he felt like it. But I dont expect anyone and everyone to call and wish it to me. My husband is enough.

To each their own.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.J.

answers from Dallas on

No ettiquette. I call/txt whoever I want:) Don't shoot me, but I don't need a day like "mother's day" to feel appreciated by my family. I kind of stack this holiday up with Valentine's Day.

More Answers

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I would have turned it around on her. Why didn't she call you to wish you a happy mother's day?! Why didn't her husband call?! hehe

Seriously, I only expect some recognition from my kids and hubby. I call my mother and DH calls his. Yesterday I texted my sister because she's pregnant with her first and I wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to her! My sisters, in passing while talking about other things, said happy mother's day, but it wasn't the main reason we were talking.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Wait - why didn't she call you? You should be so offended ;)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Dallas on

By your SIL's logic, why didn't she call YOU to wish YOU a happy mother's day? You're as much a mother as she is.

I don't think it would've killed my brother to wish me -- the aunt of his kids -- a Happy Mother's Day. Did I expect it? No. Did he do it? No. Is that OK? Yes.

So, yeah, your SIL went a little overboard. It'll be interesting to see if she calls your hubby on Father's Day. . . um, wait, maybe you're supposed to call her hubby on Father's Day. Oh, just forget it; that's too complicated to figure out.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I call my mommy and that's it. It is my husband's duty to wish his mother a happy mother's day. I do however put it out there on Facebook a happy mother's day to all. I did wish others online or through texts individually a happy mother's day but no of course no one expects it and neither do I. I never expect to be recognized for being a mother on some arbitrary day, the fact I had children alone makes me a mother. Sorry about my tangent.

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I call: my mom, my grandma
Hubby calls: his mom

I text/email my sister & close girlfriends "Happy Mother's Day"

I didn't get a PM from you yesterday wishing my "Happy Mother's Day!" How dare you! :)

You are not your sister-in-law's child or wife, so you don't need to send her the greeting. She is looking for a reason to be mad at you.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Savannah on

No, that's totally silly. I'd laugh in my sil's face if she were that stupid. Seriously. I call my mom, and Jeremy spoke to her for a sec (a joke the 2 of them have, that was brought up). Jeremy called his mom, and the boys and I shouted that we love her over the phone (but it's not mother's day in England yet, but she got the sentiment and appreciated it). I called my bff because she is a single mom and lost her mom in an accident 6 years ago, so I was thinking of her. Both of my grandmas passed away so I didn't call them (but we celebrated them on grandparents day too).
Oh, on Facebook I wrote a general message that said "To all my friends who are mothers, physical or spiritual, and to my own much-loved mom, happy Mother's Day" on Saturday night. The end. That's plenty.

An added thought: if she's playing by the rules that everyone should wish her a happy mother's day, then why didn't SHE call YOU to wish you, and you could wish EACH OTHER a happy mother's day???? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from Champaign on

I wouldn't say I expect it. I try not to expect things from people (except my husband!) I guess my thought it, why not call her?

I've never thought of only saying Happy Mother's Day to your own Mother. My husband was surprised that I was hurt when he didn't do anything for me on my first Mother's Day. He said, "But you're not my mother." Yes, I realize this, but I am the mother of his children!

I do call my sister. I would have called both my SIL's and my MIL, but I saw them so I didn't.

I did not call my girlfriends. I wish I had at least sent them a text, but I think I will a little later and say "Happy belated Mother's Day."

I'm not trying to criticize you, but I wish people would let go of the idea that the person they're calling has to have that specific role in their lives. Saying Happy Mother's Day to the mothers that you are close to is really thoughtful and sweet. If you would call them on their birthday, call them on Mother's Day or Father's Day.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

um, yeah, just my mom. My hubs would have called his mom, but she came over. And I wished my SIL a HMD when she came. But, yeah, that's about it. And, I wished a HMD to many I saw at church. And sent a text to a friend or two because i wanted to. But, not expected.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Columbia on

It's a family thing.

My wife's family does it for anniversaries. EVERYBODY better damn call on your anniversary or else! And close family, we have to send a card.

I wasn't even there for most of their weddings, and neither was my wife. Not to mention - hey, it ain't our anniversary.

But congratulate them we do. Every year. weeeeee....

It's just getting silly if you ask me. Stand your ground, or go with the flow - whatever makes more sense in your brain.

1 mom found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I texted all my friends, family, and coworkers. All the moms, step moms, grammas. All the moms in my phone got a text. We called all the elderly women in the family. They get an extra level of respect due to age. All my brothers and thier wives texted me. So did my coworkers and friends.

If anyone didn't, I wouldn't be offended. I probably wouldn't even notice unless it was my child or husband. They are the only ones with the power to hurt my feelings over it. It's nice when extended family is thoughtful, but it's not required.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Dover on

I agree with you. Receiving them is nice if they are from others but my feelings certainly aren't hurt, unless I don't get them from my kids or husband. Anyone else would just be an unexpected bonus.

1 mom found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Asheville on

I called my Mom. I texted a couple friends, but didn't call my step mother. Not that I don't care. I was out of cell zone most of the day and had my estranged spouse was over after that. I'm sure she is offended, but she makes zero effort to contact me, ever. I include her in life update emails. I contacted her when her brother passed, etc. No one called me to wish me Happy Mothers Day. My children were with me. Their father didn't say a word until I mentioned how hurt I was. We had been together 15 years. Jerk.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I got MIL a card, got my Mom a card, and wished my SIL's a Happy Mother's Day on Facebook. No phone calls involved.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm with you - I don't expect a mother's day greeting from anyone but my kids and hubby. It's nice to ask other moms how their day is going or wish them a happy mother's day in passing, but I don't expect anyone to go out of their way to do so. I got several texts from friends/family yesterday, but I didn't respond since they were all group texts. I don't think there's a set etiquette protocol. Rather, it varies from family to family. As for your SIL, that's a 2-way street. Did she call you to say happy mother's day? I think it's sweet if someone wants to honor extra people on mother's day, but no one should expect it (outside of kids and hubby). That being said, since it's so important to your SIL, next year give her a call. Small sacrifice, big payoff in happy family relationships. Hope you had a great mother's day!

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

I called and seen my mom. I use to call my grandma's also while they were still with us.

I texted my aunt and two close friends and my cousin Happy Mothers Day... my two close friends and cousin kids aren't very old to get the meaning behind it and they don't have spouses to make it special for them ( from the kids). My aunt her and I are very close and I know she struggles each year with out her mom on holiday's so I always make a point to text her on every holiday.

My husband and the kids and I all called and wished it to my MIL also.

My dad came over and gave me a hug and spent some time with me for Mothers Day. When I seen my brother he told me. I had about 5 friends text me... to them I returned with Thank You, Happy Mothers Day to you also.

For Fathers Day, I always text my two brothers and one good friend who is a single dad.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I called my mom, my husband called his. If his grandmother were still with us he would probably talk to her, he was closer to her then I was to mine.

I got cards from my sister and niece and nephew. My sis is a card sending person. I'm sure she called our mom, not sure if she called her mother or not.

I suppose you could stick to calling/talking to whomever changed your diapers/kissed you knees/dried your tears. Those are Mommy in my opinion. Depending on your life situation you can still add in the ones who gave life too, but I think that's an individual decision.

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

The moms (grandmothers) got calls/gifts/cards. No SILs/No BILs involved!! I have enough on my plate already to keep up with everything else in our busy lives.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Dallas on

We saw my mom and my hubby called his mom. Other than that I texted all my sister in laws in the morning and then later texted all the mommas that are in my contact list on my phone. I don't have to do that it's just a nice gesture to me.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I called my mom, my husband called his and that's it. You call the person whom you believe fills the "mother" roll for you, whoever that is. You can't be expected to call every single "mother" you know, just because they are a mother. Just my opinion.

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think its sweet to call/text her but why didnt she call you? I mean why did you have to call first?
I saw my boyfriends mom and his SIL's and wished them a happy mothers day when I saw them but didn't call anyone that I didn't see. I sent out texts to the moms in my phone though

We had a mothers day lunch a few years, all of our moms, aunts, cousins, J. basically a girls day out to celebrate the mom's we love (some of us were moms there to be celebrated and to celebrate others, and some of us were J. the kids at this point) anyway it was J. nice. Sure your SIL is not your mother but shes a mother you love right? She's still a big baby though for actually being upset.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

The only people I do expect something from on mother's day is my hubby and kids. Anything else is a bonus :)

And I've gotten mother's day wishes from my kids friends, from my brother, from my sister, etc. But even those aren't every year. I'm ok with that. While I love all of them ... I'm not THEIR mother. I love it and get a little teary when I get stuff like that (especially from my kids' friends) I by no means expect anything from them.

I call my mom, and when I can remember and time it right I call my step-mom (she's so freakin wonderful but works odd hours sometimes and I don't want to disturb her if she's sleeping). My hubby's mother has been gone for over 20 years and I don't have a direct line to wherever she might be. But that's it. I'll sometimes leave a message on my sisters' fb pages, too.

Quite frankly your sil needs to put on her big girl panties and grow up.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions