Random question, I know. I have some new info on my 14-year-old son's birth father, who owes me $30K+ in child support. It seems that he works as a roadie, touring with major bands. If this info is true, he will be or has been on tours this year like Van Halen and Kiss/Motley Crue. These are all produced by Live Nation, but I don't think LN employs the road crews. I suspect that as the producers, they sub-contract out the roadie work to other companies. If he were an employee under his real SSN I'd be getting child support by wage garnishment, so he's either working under a false SSN, is working as an independent contractor under his real ID but isn't filing taxes on his 1099s, or is getting paid in cash. In any case, something shady is going on. If he actually does this work, it sounds like a dream job that he wouldn't risk, so my plan is to tell him to start paying me or I will cause a big enough problem for him to lose this job.
Question is...how do I find out who he works for? I think knowing that will make the threat more credible and will give child support enforcement something to go on if he doesn't agree to this. He told me that the company has warehouses out of Florida, NJ, LV and Denver but my internet searches have gotten me nowhere.
Any ideas on where else I can look? I'm going to string him along for a while to see if I can get more info (we're messaging via FB) but I'd like to get up to speed on my own as well.
Thanks for any insight!
Thanks I'll check out IATSE or will consider an investigator. With no source of income in the past an investigator was never worth it (the old can't get blood from a stone) but if he actually does work, there's no reason he can't make the minimum payment plus some interest. I am amused that anyone considers pursuing child support a waste of time or money. This has cost me nothing and certainly takes very little time other than an occasional web search and periodic calls to my state's child support enforcement agency. The point is that one shouldn't be able to father (or mother) a child and then just walk away and pretend that the child doesn't exist. Either assume the baseline responsibility of minimal support payments (this order is for $45 a week) OR live a miserable life on the run. But living a life of relative comfort and freedom with an enjoyable job while not sending your kid a lousy check on a regular basis? Not allowed in my book. And yeah, I could very much use some extra money each month...couldn't we all?
There is a union. You don't have to be union to get a job, but it's something else you can research and maybe see if he's a part of. IATSE The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage http://www.iatse-intl.org/home.html
Good luck.
I personally wouldn't waste my time and effort on this.
All that time and money you're wasting trying to find out where he is? You could be spending on your son. At least the kid could have ONE parent who is THERE.
ETA: You said, "The point is that one shouldn't be able to father (or mother) a child and then just walk away and pretend that the child doesn't exist."
Uhm...sorry, he already did.
I went through the same thing.
Why didn't I ask for money from him when I finally tracked him down? Because I don't want a jerkface like that to suddenly grow a conscience and decide he wants to be a dad...and show up and screw up my child's life. I can live without the money, and have for their entire lives.
There is no company that contracts them out - they just get hired - and many are paid cash for tax reasons. I am going to guess that he is a low to middle man on the pole and is paid in cash OR that you are correct and he is using false identification. Really, if your support is that important to you, guessing you have a while to go still I would hire a PI to find him and get that info for you.
i agree with Kristina. a huge part of me is very independent and if i had gone on this far, i'd probably write him off, BUT if it means this much to you i would hire a professional to find him, that's probably your best bet. and be prepared for a huge uphill battle, because as Just M stated, he probably can't afford to help you anyway- certainly not $30,000 worth. on some level i think i'd kind of see it as cosmic justice or karma or what have you....but that's just me. i've never been one to go after people (suing people, etc). probably you'd find more info on google than we could provide here...good luck.
eta, in looking at previous questions you mention your husband, so in actuality it does not appear you're doing this as "alone" as i thought. and your son is 14 year old. i'd suggest looking at your motives for pursuing this. i can't really see any good reason to. is your husband pressuring you? obviously you have done ok for 14 years without his help so...why now?
your swh explains the "why" part. i stand by my previous response. it's not the right thing to do. anything that makes you be underhanded (stringing him along in fb), and potentially can blow up in your child's face (have you thought about how he'd feel having this big drama with his father drug out?) is not the right thing to do. let it go for your son's sake.
i doubt he gets paid more than what he needs to live off of. I dont think he'll be able to pay up. He's doing the job for fun not for the ability to support someone...stinks but I doubt he'll be able to pay you anything with that job. unless your son wants free concert tickets=(
I would contact the Stage Manager for a local professional performing venue in Boston. You could contact the Boston Pops and ask to speak to the Stage Manager and CALMLY explain the situatution to him. Ask questions about a union or how these guys find their job. The theater community is really not as large a group as one would believe. You would not believe how many people in theater or on road crews or crew for shows all over the country know each other or know someone who knows yor ex. (remember this person does not have to help you -- so be as nice as possible)
Also contact the IRS Criminal Investagation Department (CID). They can do a lifestyle audit on him. Basically it's a way for them to determine how much he makes. If he claims $25,000/year but his lifestyle shows he has expenses of $40,000/year they can adjust his taxes to reflect his income.
I think that when the band travels from city to city, state to state, they pay their employees their check but they hold out that states state tax. A friend of mine toured on the "Shrek The Musical" and her husband worked too. He helped set the stage and other stuff, a roadie. They both had to file taxes that were a nightmare. She took nearly 2 months of doing nothing but their taxes. She had to file each state income tax then the federal one. They were in almost all 50 states so she had to file state taxes in each and every one or them, even if she, and he, only received one paycheck in that state.
I think the IRS would be your friend in this matter. I am sure he is getting a lot of cash under the carpet. He probably gets hotels and food comped and then gets some cash somewhere along the way.
If he's not filing SS he needs to be caught. I would find out for sure at least one of the bands he has worked for, proof he has worked for them, then contact that band's manager to find out what to do next. That way you would be able to find out if he is even using his real name.
He probably isn't required to pay taxes... Since most roadies make jack all... Although some make a decent living / do well enough to have to file. Most, though, are getting a small stipend... While their room and board is taken care of. While there are some lifers, most that aren't kids, are using crew work to get the contacts for their own studio (sound, mastering, production, instruments, etc... Or to stepping stone it into a job that pays well elsewhere in the music industry. Ha. I said that without laughing! But they really do exist.) There are some grownup kids, though, who are just along for the ride. Most of the lifers are highly specialized techs (pyrotechnics, sound engineers, etc.) they're paid well, and are highly coveted.
Check with IATSE.
Call the management as if you were looking for a job, and see if their roadies are on contract through them or another company (many are just hired via friends gig by gig and -IF paid- are paid through the tour manager).
I wouldn't hold my breath, though. More than most industries... Music is pretty shady / most in it will be giving tips and tricks on how to avoid child support and exes.
