Who Does This? Husband Props Babys' Bottle up So He Can Feed Him ''Hands Free''!

We did it all the time, but my son was a VERY attached baby and putting him in his play pen once a day with a bottle (mostly breastfed) was sometimes the only time I got to eat by myself or go to the bathroom alone etc.

I don't like propping bottles either and I never really did it with either of my kids cause they sucked them down so fast I didn't have to! lol But I used to babysit for one of my friends and her son would take 30 - 45 mins to take a 6 oz bottle!!! We tried everything to speed him up but nothing worked so sometimes with him I did prop the bottle because I would be trying to fix dinner and I couldn't stand at the stove holding a 4 month old. I guess when they are old enough to hold the bottle themselves, it doesn't seem as bad.

S.

I really don't like this and always made a point of holding my children for bottle feeding until they were old enough to hold it properly themselves. I loved feeding my babies, and enjoyed the cuddles. My SIL does it with her baby even when there are two parents available with free hands. I feel a bit sorry for my little niece.

Both DH and I do it. We have very different reasons though. I'm chasing a 2yr old, trying to wash dishes, do laundry or cook dinner. He's playing a video game. And yes, it's extremely annoying when he does it for that reason. We both work full time. I've had the "you need to bond with him now" talk, and it worked for all of 2 weeks.

To all these mothers that would never ever do it and "it's just lazy", how many kids do you have? Do you work? What do you do when you're driving and your baby gets hungry? Pull over and feed them? Every time?? We have an hour commute every morning and evening, and DD usually needs to eat during both of those times. I can't sit in the back seat and feed her while I drive, and there isn't time to pull over. So I prop her bottle on her blanket and let her eat. And I'd feel much more guilty about letting her go hungry than not holding her while she eats.

Also, in response to "how long does it take to feed a baby?" My DS took all of 30 min to nurse, 7 min to finish a bottle. DD took an HOUR AND A HALF to nurse, and AT LEAST 30 min on the bottle. Not all kids are the same.

Sorry to get so defensive. But some of the responses are pretty judgemental.

That's just plain lazy. Please encourage your husband to not do this. If you google this you'll find lots of reasons to not do this - gently share those with him.To any moms who do this, please stop. If you child is too young to hold his or her bottle, that's a sign that you *need* to be *holding* and *feeding* your child. You know who drink from propped up bottles? Babies in orphanages in developing countries because there aren't enough arms to hold the babies and give the proper interaction during feeding they need. To not hold an infant in your arms while feeding a bottle deprives the infant of much needed love, nurturing, and bonding. If a baby is being fed from a bottle instead of a breast for whatever reason, the baby should still be held and cuddled and interacted with. Honestly there is no excuse for doing this and shame on anyone who does. Even daycare providers and mothers of twins manage to bottle feed a baby while holding the bottle.

ETA: now this this is in the "Moms are Talking About" queue I went back to see what others have to say and the number of mothers who do this and think it is OK is APPALLING. And for the record, I know busy - I have 4 kids and work FT and never ever once propped a bottle. Not in my years of baby-sitting (even when watching twins), not in my years of motherhood. I seriously think that this needs a PSA campaign like "back to sleep" because apparently common sense isn't so common. Stop being so damn lazy and PICK UP YOUR BABIES.

I do it... Sometimes you just have to when you have other small kids to deal with. I wouldn't do it with a newborn, and wouldn't leave the baby in a room totally alone when doing it. I do it sometimes with my 7 month old, especially in the morning when its hectic getting my 7 year old ready for school and dealing with my wild 2 year old. I didn't start til she was probably around 2+ months old. Sometimes you have to do what you can to fit it all in :)

*I'm cracking up at the person that says its lazy to prop it while shopping and to hold it with one hand and push the shopping cart with the other? HAHA really?? ok, whats the difference, the baby can see you .. .Do you have a 2 year old shopping with you also? Boy some people are funny

I understand how you feel. You love your baby and everything you do you do because you want what is always best for your child. You feel holding the bottle is giving the bottle to the baby and is more loving.

Here is the deal. There are many ways to do things, even how to feed a child. As moms we tend to expect others especially the fathers of our children to do it "our way".. Then we wonder why these men quit wanting to help with the baby, toddler and children. Figuring out how to prop the bottle is another way and is just as loving, it is just another style. Your infant just wants milk.. Breast, bottle, held, propped up, while in a car seat or a stroller, or in a rocker.. The baby just wants the milk..

While I was pregnant, my husband and I had a lot of conversations about what to expect. I had studied Early Childhood Development for many many years in high school and through college. He had NEVER held an infant, or child.. ever.. He was completely freaked out that "he would do it wrong." He told me he did not want to be embarrassed in front of others by not holding her right, feeding her right, being able to get her to stop crying..

I reminded him that most people do not know these things we all have to learn and somethings will work for 1 person but not the other. He would be able to find ways to do it his own way, the way that felt was best for him.

You can express your request, but as long as your child is not being injured or placed in danger, allow your husband and MIL to do it their ways.. Remember your mom must have known something about raising great kids..

Just breath.. This is not worth being upset over.

That's so sad. I think that babies need to be cuddled, whether breastfed or bottle-fed. It's a very important bonding time for caregiver and baby. And really, it doesn't take long for a baby to finish a bottle. I used to work at a daycare and I loved being in the infant room, because I loved holding the babies and feeding them from their bottles. It maybe took ten or fifteen, twenty minutes tops. Just like breastfeeding. That time when holding the baby--the eye contact, being close to your baby--to me is extremely important.

Also, what if the baby chokes or spits up with the bottle? What if the baby doesn't want to eat anymore? It seems like it would be easier to hold the baby while feeding him, that way he can make sure the baby is okay while eating. Hopefully your husband will understand after you explain it to him; good luck.

It's not only impersonal but it's actually considered to be dangerous. It's a really big safety no-no. There are several risks associated with propping bottles and not having appropriate feeding supervision while doing so, such as choking and drowning, so your husband needs to get his butt in gear on this and take it seriously. It can also promote gum rot by keeping the nipple in one place in the mouth in the event that the baby can't push the bottle out of his mouth with his tongue or move his head away from the bottle. You have every right and reason to be bothered and upset. Don't let anyone here tell you otherwise.

Your husband ought to at LEAST be holding the bottle with his hands while the baby is in a baby seat and partially reclined and paying at least half attention even if he's not holding the baby. Ideally he ought to really be holding the baby while feeding him so that they can bond during that time. It's hardly a daunting or energetic task and he's shortchanging himself, that baby, and causing some very serious health risks.

EDIT: I'm absolutely appalled at the answers telling you that you're over-reacting and acting like the "superior parent" and to leave this alone. Bottle propping is a real danger and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) and WHO advise strongly against it because it's very, very dangerous no matter the age of the baby.

Google search "bottle propping" and you'll find out just how serious it is. Babies DIE from this. They choke and drown. Best case scenario is that it causes ear infections, gum rot, and tooth rot. The ear infections from the bacteria that pools in the milk at the back of the throat (and can leak into the sinuses) can cause hearing damage which in turn leads to speech and learning delays.

Contraptions that are used to prop up the bottles are dangerous because the baby has no way to knock the bottle out of the way in case he needs to breathe or is beginning to cough or choke... the bottle is being forced to remain in the mouth. Even if the baby managed to knock the bottle away, no infant should even HAVE to do such a thing.
Whomever is feeding the baby ought to be present enough to be holding the bottle and paying attention enough to be actually feed the baby.

This is easy to research and show your husband and your mother that they MUST stop this dangerous practice.

Hmmm, I guess shame on me too, because I have also done this.

My husband rigged up this complicated thing (he's an engineer) to hold the bottle for the baby with our first. It's like he's king and just too busy to actually hold the bottle for his baby. I think I was really mad but I look back and say he's a man and they just think differently. Try not to let it get to you. It's no reflection of what kind of father he'll be later. My husband isnt' as attentive still in a way that I am but he's a great dad. Plays w/ our girls till they're in giggle fits etc. If your baby is held most of the day, this won't "damage" him either.

I agree that holding the baby is the best way to go, but sometimes it's okay to prop them so you can do other things as long as you can keep an eye on them and know they are going to drown in the formula or the bottle slips out and leaks out all over the place.
Moms that are able "to get things done during the day" are moms that learn that you dont have to hold the baby constantly. Hubby probably spends more time setting up for the propping, and feels he's done "good" by making it work, lol. That's just HIS way of doing it, I wouldnt worry about it really.

My dh wanted to do this, he thought it was normal & ok. I dont think men get the concept of snuggling & nursing a little baby. I put my foot down on this one, no way was my DD going to have her bottle propped (nevermind she hardly got them because she is bf). I dont think its safe, and I stuck to that point when I "forbade" this. Im not about to watch my baby choke because she's taken in too much milk. She holds her cup or bottle now that she's older, but we still snuggle her and hold the bottle for her too, especially if she's tired. Lazy parents prop bottles, period.

To all who prop bottles you should check with your health care provider as proping a bottle leads to choking and aspiration. It is a huge don't! I am a pediatric nurse and I'm horrified that this fact is not known by so many who posted here. Please go and check out the risks.

I would agree a lot with Marda. My boyfriend did this when our son was first born and it drove me CRAZY! But, I'm starting to learn that he's just not that comfortable with baby and is really ready for a more interactive child and take part that way (Now that baby is smiling and talking all the time he is interacting more and more). I did talk to him though because this bugged me. I told him that it was important for him to hold baby while feeding him because then you can tell when baby is done eating and take the bottle away as opposed to leaving it sitting in his mouth dripping away and causing him to be overfed. I also said that it was important for baby to see him regularly so that baby can feel bonded to him. My boyfriend is the type of person that always acts like what I'm saying about the baby is crazy, but he somehow always listens to me lol. Just talk to him and tell him that you would appreciate him holding the baby and that your sure baby would love the snuggling and bonding time with daddy if he would hold him too. He might suprise you.

I do it for almost every feeding unless we are out somewhere. I NEVER leave him alone, so there is no safety risk. My boyfriend only does it when he needs to do something else at the same time (Like eat his own meal).

I don't see a problem with it.

When we was younger, I had to do it so I could work on school assignments (I went to an online school and had 1 term of high school left when Oliver was born). Now we are both just used to it.

Um--I always wonders who is so busy they have to prop their baby's bottle...So I definitely agree with you. It's different if the baby can hold the bottle itself and many do start doing this early. And for those bottle proppers out there that assume I am a SAHM with one child--no I'm a daycare mom to 4 to 5 children most age 3 and under and I have never propped a bottle.

Didn't even read your letter-a man in PA did this and the baby drowned. Please never leave the baby with him again ever-well maybe after graduation from law school.

My church nursery director told me something was wrong with my baby becuase she could not feed herself a bottle at 9 months. The ped. said most people do this, but we kept on holding her and her bottle.
I think people are lazy and in too much of a hurry to have kids grow up.

I would say that it's not a great way to bond with the baby. Also, like someone said it is a safety hazard, so I would let him know that. I am sure he had no idea like a lot of people probably don't. For the mom who said never to leave the baby with him again is crazy, I hope she was just being sarcastic. Look at it this way, not all men feel the need to bind like women do, it would be great if they did, but that's just the way we were created. Again, go back to the safety risks.

That doesn't sound like a safe thing to do. I can honestly say that I never even thought of doing that and neither did my husband - and my daughter needed to be fed like every hour (she only took an ounce or two at a time until she was much older). I guess you might ask you husband if he wants your baby to bond with the ceiling he/she's looking at or HIM. A baby should be cuddled and nurtured whenever humanly possible. Your husband is missing out and so is your baby.

I absolutely despise it when people do that!!! It doesn't cost anything to hold your baby while you feed him. That is a perfect time for your husband to bond with his son, especially since he's been working all day. I'm suprised that your mother does it as well!! You have to really let them know who strongly you feel about this. Let them know that if it is too much to ask for them to respect your wishes, then there is no need for either of them to "waste their time" feeding him. Good Luck!

I have done it - not often, and always sitting right next to him, but I have.

Mine is now almost 15, so I don't think it did any harm.

Now, if your Hubby or Mom were propping then leaving the room - there would be a problem. But, if they are right there, not so much.

No. I hate it when people do that. It's not safe. He needs to be paying attention to the baby when your baby is eating.

Not a big deal. Maybe he just likes watching him. Some people do it
some people do not. In the scheme of life, not a biggie. I would not comment to your husband about it. It works for him let it be. Maybe he is
doing the best he can.

Who does this? men. Get used to it men and women are different - that's why God gave us one of each as parents. Children need both types. Mothers nurture, dads teach independence. NEither is better than the other - both are good and both can be detrimental without balance.

Some men don't relate to babies - they don't relate to their kids until they can interact - throw a ball, "talk", run around, etc. My BIL LOVES his kids - but was competely clueless and uncomfortable with them as babies. Once they began to run and climb he was all over them.

Some men think of their kids are smaller versions of adults and they ahve to be reminded that the child has only been on the planet for ____ years or month.

And there are men who love to cuddle with their kids from the day they arrive.

Don't stress about this - I have seen too many wives tear their husbands down because dad doesn't do things EXACTLY the way mom does. Your ch ildren will need some of what each of you ahs to offer and will never need 100% of waht only one parent offers. Consider a child who has only ben nurtured but has never been given the opportunity to spread their wings? What about a child who has been given lot and lots of independence but no nurturing?

Chill mama - your baby will not have any lasting adverse impact from dad not holding the bottle. Guys are funny creatures.

I've done it. I was always close by and could see my son in case he choked or the bottle fell or whatever.

But I have to say I think it depends on the age of the baby. I don't think a newborn should have the bottle propped up, but once baby can control head movement then I think it is okay. As long as someone is keeping an eye on the baby (which should be done whether feeding or not) then I don't see a problem with it.

I doubt that doing this is unsafe. It was standard practice with I was a baby, nearly 70 years ago. Child development professionals have found that holding the baby while feeding him and looking into each other's eyes is a great way to bond. However at 1 month or so, baby isn't gazing into anyone's eyes.

Rather than nag at your husband for doing this, talk with him kindly about why you'd prefer that he hold him. And encourage other ways for them to bond. I suggest that men are frequently uncomfortable with babies until they're older and more interactive. Say around 4 months. That is when I'd encourage him to be more involved. I actually know of mothers who can hardly wait to get past those first few months because the baby is so inactive.

I suggest that propping the bottle, if someone is still with the baby, is a safe way to feed. I agree that holding the baby is better. It does help in bonding and building a relationship with the baby.

I suggest that your mother props the bottle because that's the way she did it with her babies so that she could get work done. I know my mother did. I think, tho,that she didn't start propping the bottle until the baby was able to somewhat support it.

I suggest that the best way to get them to hold the baby is for you to not bawl them out but to be kind and sensitive to their feelings. Agree that it's easier to prop, or that he might be anxious about holding him. Encourage him to hold her at times other than feedings so that he gets comfortable with her. Give lots of praise.

Wow. I thought this question was going in a whole different direction from the title... My Hubby props the bottle up with his shirt or blanket against his chest to be more "hands-free" while still cradling the baby and the first time I saw this I thought it was a bit crazy, but, boy do you have me beat!

My first thought is maybe they are uncomfortable holding the baby? Do they really know how? Is there a position that the baby finds most comfortable when bottle feeding? Does the baby fuss if you are not the one holding it? Kiddies need to get use to being "handled" by other folks.

You really need to talk to both of them - more so Daddy. Let him know the little one craves his attention and that feeding time is one small way to give that attention. It is a great opportunity to look the baby in the eyes, make faces, talk about anything (and everything), etc. Tell him he is creating a bond for life and you want it to start out right.

Honestly, if neither of them can hold the baby when feeding, I'd be concerned about how they are treating the child when not feeding (i.e. being left in a crib to cry, being put in a swing and basically ignored, etc.)...

Good luck with this.
~C.

I would ask him why he feels the need to prop the bottle vs taking the time to hold his child and bond with him. Even my DD's daycare didn't prop (they did allow a child to hold his or her own bottle if they were able). Isn't bottle propping a choking hazard? I would wonder how supervised the feeding is if he's propping. How is he with babies in general?

While many people do this and their babies are fine, there are also the babies who are not. One of the other responses got me curious and I found this: http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/45595897.html I'm not saying your husband is abusive and you'll loose your child, but food for thought, no?

If they cannot stop and hold your child then perhaps they should not watch the child until he can hold his own bottle and you should get a sitter for when you work.

I let my DH do our daughter's hair "wrong" and dress her funny and feed her weird things but this is one thing I'd fight him on if it were us.

I do it all the time. I have 3 kids (5,2, 2 months) The baby gets most of my attention anyways. I never prop and leave he's always right there so he doesn't choke while I'm doing dishes and laundry or cooking for 5 people. I get my stuff done so I'm not so stressed out and can really "play" with him and the older kids who CAN remember this time. Everybody I know props bottles its not a huge deal for any of us. Trust me our kids are very loved, and know how loved they are. Propping a bottle a few times when they're a baby isn't going to change that.

I think you are overreacting. I would work on being grateful for the help. They will connect with the baby at different times in the baby's life. Some people connect at a more playful time, instead of the infant stage. I am not trying to sound harsh, but just try and be grateful for the help you get from them.

It isn't the safest thing to do unsupervised since the baby can't stop the flow of milk and could possibly choke. I have done it on occasion if I was right there and had my hands full but could still watch. Once my kids were old enough to hold the bottle themselves that is different, though I usually held them anyway.

Whoo- judgy judgy judgy people out there. As long as the baby is being watched - this is fine. Yes, they are missing out on the bonding, but perhaps they bond in other ways....What do you think moms of multiples do? Twins, triplets, and they are hungry at the same time? A woman only has two arms - so bottles get propped...certainly doesn't make that mom of multiples "lazy". As long as Dad or mom aren't walking out of the room, and the baby can hold their head up, pretty sure they are fine.

A bottle should never, ever be propped. Ever.

This is a severe choking hazard. Babies cannot control the flow of milk from a bottle in the same way they can from a breast and propping the bottle (and thus placing attention elsewhere) doesn't allow the parent to assist the baby in controlling the flow.

Babies die from bottle propping.

From the USDA: http://www.fns.usda.gov/tn/resources/feedinginfants-ch5.pdf (page 3 of the document)

I know you already have a ton of answers, and I only looked at a few. I have to comment on one response that I did happen to see. The person said there is mommy's way and daddy's way-something about learning independence from dad and nurturing from mom. I must strongly disagree here. Yes, people have different personalities and strengths. So, children will learn different things from both (whether mom is the more independent and dad is the more nurturing or vice versa), and that is good. But both parents should be nurturing and show physical affection, understanding that this may come more naturally to one than the other. It seems to me that children will benefit most from seeing and receiving this from BOTH parents so they can GIVE that and EXPECT to receive that in their current and future relationships with males and females.

There are two issues, it seems to me. One is safety. If the baby is being watched the whole time that shouldn't be an issue. The other is about bonding. Since you said he does this almost every time, I wonder why? Does he spend much time otherwise with the baby? I know people are different. But I would be very curious to know why a father (especially who is not the primary caretaker) would not want to take advantage of opportunities to be close to his baby. I would have been very upset if my husband was doing that more than occasionally. Holding is extremely important for little ones. There have been studies done that show how lack of holding can negatively affect emotional, psychological well being.

I would also wonder why your mom does this. Is she there a lot? It seems like she would also want to hold the baby as much as possible.

I wish you well!

L.

I've propped many times, but that's home alone with two toddlers running around while I fed, and that's with a baby that I held all day long, so it's not the same. Your husband needs to hold the baby more. Tell him. If he's relaxing in a chair-which I assume he does when he gets home from work? He can hold and feed the baby while he does so. He's not thinking, that's all.

I hate the idea of propping them. We never did it with my daughter and if I'd found out someone was I would have been pretty irate. I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I loved that time with my dd, and I know my husband did, too. Sometimes I talk about breastfeeding if we have another baby and he gets mad, because he loved being able to give the baby her bottle.

i remember being horrified at a friend of mine who did this every time when we were young mothers with newborns. that baby got virtually no contact during meal times. he was loved and turned out fine, but it still did and does bug me. i can totally see resorting to it if you're chasing other littles or are otherwise screamingly busy, but i'm with you, i think that using it as the default way to feed a baby is just wrong.
khairete
S.

I am sorry but how lazy are you people???! You cant even sit for 5 minutes and feed a baby a bottle? It is not that big of a hardship to sit with a child and feed them. Especially if it's dad, he has been away from the baby ALL day long and should WANT to sit and relax and hold his son for a few minutes while he eats. There is plenty of other time where the baby can sit and be content in his bouncer or swing for whatever time but at feedings? I dont think it is fair and I wouldnt and can honestly say that I havent done it.

I understand that there are times where mother and father dont always do things the same way but come on, its 5 minutes for a bottle. It does NOT take a baby longer than 10 minutes to eat a bottle. Nursing yes, but not a bottle.

Also I know that not everyone bonds the same with the baby but again, give me a break its not that long out of your day to feed a little one. Even if you are holding them and walking around, sitting and watching tv, or doing whatever, at least you are holding the child and not letting them feed themselves. Baby is too small and young to be expected to do so, and to "prop a bottle" is pure laziness in my opinion.

I used to cherish the times I could sit down and feed my son. It gave me a minute or two to just relax and enjoy him for even a small period of time.

It makes me sad when I hear stories like that, and that so many people find it the "Normal" thing to do anymore. Why are people in such a rush all the time? If you rush everything you wont ever have time to enjoy anything at all.

I completely understand that people are busy these days, dont get me wrong, but you should never be too busy to sit down for a minute and take care of your child. And I understand women with multiples, you do what you have to do sometimes but with just one, it shouldnt be like that. And especially your mother, I dont see a reason that she is propping.

Just my opinion.

Just read your other responses and Babydoos mom said it best. Your hubby has no idea how quickly his son will be busy with his friends and hobbies. Today's parents always complain about how busy they are. Many many many moms work full time and have several kids OR volunteer A LOT and have several kids and are great parents. ENJOY these years people, they pass quickly! You will look back and remember the stories you read to them, the babies you held and cuddled, you will remember late night feedings as quiet times with one child...)
I see by your profile your baby is VERY very young. What does your hubby say? Why does he do it? Does he resent having to take care of his child? Did you tell him nicely how you feel about it? I really enjoyed holding my babies. So did my hubby who stayed home with him a lot! I'm sure it would have been different with twins or triplets but that's not the case here. It sounds like your hubby cant be bothered to hold his own baby. Sad. I hope you can get your hubby to bond more with the baby it is such a great experience for a father and child. Maybe you can find articles on the importance of bonding with Daddy and articles against propping bottles with very young infants to share with him. I think Dads respond better to "expert advice" than just their wives telling them what to do.

I don't see the big deal. I did this with all four of my children. Share your feelings about this, but I don't think it's worth a fight.

I have done that many times. When you are alone and need to get things done sometimes that is the easiest way to go. My SIL bought us a small pillow to prop it up and it stayed. Here is alittle story to share with you. With my SIL's son he will not hold the bottle by himself and he is 11 months old. They have to hold it for him. Her first baby she proped but with this one she did not and now he won't take the bottle unless someone is holding it for him. He became so dependant on her holding it. He won't even take a sippy cup unless someone is holding it. I feel that she made him lazy. So plz don't get mad cause they prop it up. Maybe in the long run it will help him to hold it himself. And another thing is that they don't walk too far away and leave him with the bottle. And also don't feel guilty think of it as a learning experience. Good Luck!

My personal thoughts are that when your son is older your husband will regret that bonding time he gave up with your son. Babys are babys for a very short amount of time and when they grow out of one stage you can never get that time back. Remind him of this and ask him if whatever it is that he is doing with his 'free' hands at that time if that will mean more to him in the long run when your son is grown. I think everyone at one point or another has tried to multi task with children just because life can get busy but to do this all the time on purpose is sad. My DD is 17 months now and I am trying so hard to enjoy every cuddle time bottle feed because she is probably going to be done with the bottle before I know it and I cant phathom not taking the time now to enjoy it while I am able to.
Just my thoughts on it

Wow.

First, let's start with this. What is your husband doing while baby is propped up with the bottle and eating? Is he talking to and interacting with the baby the entire time, and simply not holding him? Is he playing video games or is he preparing dinner and looking after other children? Big difference here.

I also suspect there is some resentment going on with your husband. You are home ALL DAY as you stated with this baby - he is at work. You want him to act how you want him to act when he comes home. Look to see if there is a deeper issue before attacking him on this one. Do you resent that he gets to leave all day? Is he helpful in other areas when he gets home?

My child is exclusively breastfed and is usually nursed, but sometimes we give him expressed breast milk in a bottle. I would love to prop on occassion, but I never have. For example, about once a week, I am home alone with three kids - the baby being 6 months old. I get home from a super stressful job and must then prepare dinner and tend to three kids by myself. If there is a hungry, screaming baby sitting in his swing while dinner is boiling over on the stove, I would LOVE to be able to prop a bottle of breastmilk so he can eat while I tend to the other things. But, I just have never attempted it, and either dinner waits and everyone is starving and crabby, or one of the kids help by holding the bottle while baby sits in the swing. It is a stressful zoo in my house, and if I had something to use to prop the bottle, it sure would calm things down for that time period.

Parents do what they have to do. And like Andrea below said, what if you are in the car and baby is hungry and screaming? There is NOTHING worse.

If I were the creative type, I would invent something that is safe to prop a bottle up so babies over a certain age could eat if parents are unable to hold the bottle at that time. Would people misuse it? Sure, just like they do anything else. But if you think that this baby is going to be harmed by dad propping every now and again, that is silly and you need to move on to the next battle, hopefully a more serious one. Discuss this with your husband if you really feel that strongly about it, but I would encourage you to approach this in a much calmer manner than your post here. And again, really look into why this bothers you so much (ie, husband is lazy at home, not helping with baby, etc). I am not condoning him propping the bottle and never holding the baby during a feeding. But, if he is a fabulous father and constantly interacts with the baby in other ways, then I would let this one go after calmly discussing it with him.

Are you kidding me, we have 2 year old boy girl twins. Trust me you learn how to improvise real quick. My husband mastered the skill of propping up pillows on the couch one baby on each side of us and he would go into the other room. Trust me, everyone does this even with one baby and it's fine. As long as they are safe and you are close by it's fine. Your the mom and have that personal one on one experience bond with him. Others may not. It's not worth the fight, because there are other battles ahead.

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Are you kidding me, we have 2 year old boy girl twins. Trust me you learn how to improvise real quick. My husband mastered the skill of propping up pillows on the couch one baby on each side of us and he would go into the other room. Trust me, everyone does this even with one baby and it's fine. As long as they are safe and you are close by it's fine. Your the mom and have that personal one on one experience bond with him. Others may not. It's not worth the fight, because there are other battles ahead.

Babies are only babies for a short time, I can't imagine having something more important to do than take some quality time to hold a baby while feeling. Your husband and mother should be holding the baby when they give him a bottle.

I have a couple of friends who would prop their kids bottles and I think it's lazy parenting. The argument that people have to "get things done" doesn't hold any water to me because feeding a baby doesn't take much time at all.

I always wanted to do it. But DS just would never cooperate. By a year he could pick up a regular cup and drink from it but would he even consider holding his bottle? Not a chance, never, not once, ever.

How old is your baby? If the baby is old enough to reach out for the bottle and is starting to learn to self feed, I think it is ok, bc it's cool to see them learn. When my little man was starting to reach out for his bottle I would recline him a little and let him try to do it and put a little burp cloth rolled up under it to help him not drop it. But that was just out or something bc he was breast fed. But honestly I think it could be a little lazy on his part but hey, at least someone else is doing it! I know the thing my hubs hates is to feel micro managed or if I ever act like I am the superior parent, watch out! If you think your child is in danger then yeah broach the subject carefully. If you think he is being lazy, leave it. As someone else said, he has a lifetime to bond with your child and moms and dad do that very differently. Good luck!

my daughter took 40 min. to finish a bottle when she was a baby. I can see the temptation, especially when you are the one day in and day out caring for the child. I never did it, except for car feedings. I can certainly see doing this if you have more than one kid. I cannot see Grandma or Dad doing this when they aren't the primary care takers. But see if its an occasional thing, or an all the time thing. Once in a while? let it slide. Regularly? Knock some sense into these people!

baby's can choke even on milk, and if the caregiver is not right there, they could drown. Don't let this slide, it is dangerous!
Good luck!
R.

Hello, I would explain to your husband as well as your mother that bottle time is also bonding time. They should be holding your baby when he is feeding.
Good luck with your precious little baby.
K. K.

I'm sorry, your post made me giggle because I remember my SIL telling me that she walked in on her husband "feeding" her then infant ... Dad was sitting at the computer, baby slumped over in his lap w/ the bottle dripping milk contents all over baby's face and clothing. Dad oblivious. SIL was NOT happy :)

You need to get your husband and Mom to stop propping the bottle asap!!!
Your baby can choke that way. It's very dangerous.

I personally wouldn't do it, but I've seen moms of twins do it.

Seems a trivial thing to get so worked up about to me. I think your child will turn out just fine whether his bottle is propped up or not.