Who Do I Choose?

Set up the video camera on a tripod or countertop that catches whatever angle you want, we did, and it worked perfect (plus it was steadier than if someone was holding it)

Maybe you could get a tripod and set it up before hand. I know that when I had my daughter they said we were not allowed to video tape the actual birth. the doctors are worried about malpractice and what not. So maybe the first step should be asking the doctor. They are usually full of advice and answers.

You did honor his request and asked his mother. She declined to do it herself - so you can now ask someone you are comfortable with. Believe me, I know from experience that you will never forget if someone you are NOT comfortable with, sees you down there!

Hi S.,
Congrats! Can you put the camera on a tripod from a distance and set the lens on wide angle? That way you will capture everything and you won't close up details to worry about. Once the baby is delivered, you can ask whoever is in there to get the camara and video the baby close up. I wasn't comfortable with my father in law in there either. That is all I can suggest. If you don't have a tripod, you can pick up a pretty inexpensive one at Best Buy or an electronic store where they sell camaras. You won't need an expensive one.

Buy a tripod, set your camera up on that, and have the nurse press record when you want! Shouldn't be too difficult if you explain to the nurse.

Ask a nurse as well. They are primarily there for you and the baby, but if there is an available nurse during your delivery it would be helpful, that way you are not hurting anyone's feelings. I do think a close friend would be able to help you out on that as well.

Wow, that is a tuff place to be in. Birth is a scary, rough thing to go through and you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. The people in your life need to be reminded of that sometimes. Speak up, tell your the baby's grandma how you feel. If she won't film it, I suggest that you have the camera set up in the corner of the room, without anybody holding it. My husband and I did this because he really wanted it on film, but I didn't want to be filmed. It turned out well because the moment was captured but the angle was such that nothing too revealing was on tape.
Good luck and I wish you well with your dellivery.

A tripod! Labor is not the time to compromise your comfort level. Have a birth plan handy for whatever medical staff will be there so they know what's going on- I can't think of an OB or midwife who would mind at all. If there are going to be people there at all, they should be ones who increase your comfort level, sense of well being and relaxation and nothing less.
My husband was out on patrol with the Coast Guard when I gave birth to our now three year old- I know how it feels & I'm sorry it has to be like that for you, but make the best of what you can and know it is all worth it.

take care, you can do it! :)

The fact of the matter is, you are going to have a child comming out of you vagina! So anyone you ask to be there up close and personal should be honored, and not try to pass the request onto someone else. You should not feel anxiety about politely letting her know that the reason you asked her specifically is because you are not comfertable enough with anyone else to do it. If all else fails, maybe you could ask a very close friend, or someone from you family. Hope this helps a little!

You should probably check with the hospital first before you go ahead with this "video taping idea" because they usually do not allow video taping. We tried to video tape my C-section and they said at Summerlin Hospital that no videotaping was allowed during delivery. Someone can bring a camera and take a picture here and there but video cameras are forbidden as far as I know. If after checking with your hospital and finding out that video taping is allowed then I would suggest asking a good friend of yours to do it versus your mother-in-law or father-in-law or sister-in-law.

Hi S.~
I recently had a baby and we had some issues with who to ask to take photos during the delivery too. When we had a couple of people volunteer and we weren't comfortable with them seeing it all, I found being honest was the best policy. Joking about it with them seemed to work the best. Do you have any support? I highly reccomend having someone by your side to help you through it. These days it is fairly common to hire a doula ("doola") to be there for the labor and delivery to help you. They are also great for taking photos or video for you too! :)
If you have anymore questions, I am happy to help in any way I can. Good luck! -And remember, this is YOUR time! Don't let anyone get in the way of making this one of the most wonderful experiences of your life.

I read one of the responses you recieved. The one about not being "bossy" and saying "thank you" instead of "you are uncomfortable with it". BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! As far as I was concerned, during my last delivery, my husband and I were the only ones there when we made the baby, we should be the only ones there when the baby was born, DISPITE the number of people who thought that that rule "excluded" them. It is the birth of your baby. You will want to be comfortable during it, not feel like you have something to hide. I would ask one of the nurses (permitting that the hospital and your doctor allow videos to be made) or even a med student for the job. They have seen it before, and they will see it again. But, if you are uncomfortable with something, don't do it. Nobody has asked what your relationship with your mother-in law is like. And, as far as I'm concerned, she should be honored to do it, not try and pass the job off to someone else. I hope that you can find someone that YOU are comfortable with, not who your husband is comfortable with, he wont be there for his comfort level to matter too much (sorry if that sounds harsh). Good luck, and happy birthing!!!

Dear S.,

Well, for one thing, stop being so picky. When you are having that baby, you will be concentrating on getting the baby out safely and getting yourself through it. You will need all the support you can muster up from both sides of the family, both at the birth, and throughout the baby's lifetime. You need to say thank you for helping instead of being 'uncomfortable'.

My grandson's wife wasn't close to my husband before her baby was born, then afterward they were closer because.....the Dad was at work and couldn't leave when the baby started coming. So we had to go to their home, and get Mom-to-be into the back seat of the car and race to the hospital while she threw up and I had to reassure her that the baby's head was not out yet. We got there just in the nick of time. We were her only family there and stayed in the room at her request not to leave her alone. So we happily supported her through the birth. No time for video or anything else.

I am so glad that it happened that way. I got to be the first person on earth to see that gorgeous face come out of the womb. She opened her eyes, looked right and then left, smiled a biiiig smile, and was slipped the rest of the way out and place on Mom's chest. I got to see them looking at each other - the same profile, just different sizes. It was a glorious happening, and I got to cut the cord too. My heart is full just remembering it. So don't start out making so many rules for your life. Life might dictate that you just be cautious and careful, not bossy.
Happy Birthing, C. N.

S.,

Do you have anyone who you are comfortable with? A friend? Anyone? I'd say anyone other than maybe your mom because she'd probably be too caught up in the delivery to be able to actually do a good job videotaping. It has to be someone that can stay objective enough to do it but still someone you are comfortable with. They also have to not be too awfully squeamish because delivery can be kind of yucky to watch. Anyway, I wouldn't try to explain much. When you are pregnant, you always have an automatic excuse for most things - you can blame it on being pregnant and hormonal.

If all else fails, if you are in Las Vegas, you could call the medical school or UNLV to see if you could find a medical or nursing student who would be willing to do it for $50. They could probably do it for your without passing out.

:-)T.

It's your delivery, you're the star of the show, you get to decide who stays in the delivery room with you. Find someone you are comfortable with, I'm sure his mother will understand since she didn't want to do it. She doesn't get to decide for you, it's your choice.

If you cant find someone you fill comfortable to catch it on tape. Deliverly could take a few hours, being your first. See if a nurse can set up a camera near your shoulder or above your head. That way you don't get any peep shots. Just the right angle so show. Wouldn't want any regrets later.All will be happy and could be shown later to your child and family.

S.,
Do you have a good girlfriend? I think a girlfriend of yours or a sister would make you comfortable. I would just tell Mom in Law how uncomfortable you are with a stranger taking video tape of you in the delivery room. Could you ask a nurse?
L.

Congratulations! It will be a great experience! I'm sorry your husaband won't be able to be there with you, but I think videotaping is a great way for him to see the birth of his first child and bond with him/her. In my delivery room, I had my fiance, my mother and his mother. The thought of other people at first is a little uncomfortable, but when it's happening, you really don't mind. I understand you not wanting your father in law. I would have said no too. Maybe your mother in law wants to watch and not videotape. Do you have a mother or sister you'd like in there with you to tape instead? I actually regret that I didn't tape it....you don't have to tape the baby actually coming out, just have them shoot from behind, like on "baby story"! Lol...I watch that all the time!
You'll really cherish the tape, because those first moments are priceless, and after awhile, your memory fades little by little, so it really is a good idea. Make sure someones there to take lots of pictures too! I wish you a safe and speedy delivery!

Well i was fortunate enough to have my husband there in the delivery room, but we still wanted to record it. I did not want any obscene crotch shots so i had my mom stand by my head and record from that angle and it was perfect because there were no "crotch shots" but you could still see him coming out... Maybe it would make you feel more comfortable if you did it that way. Good luck!! And good luck on the birth of your new baby congratulations!!!

my husband deployed on a wed. thursday they induced me and saturday our first child was born... I had my mom and sister tin the delivery room with me but when it cam eto the video camera, it was given a back seat to me.. My sister stood behind the delivery table and proped it just so you could see when i gave birth and none of "me" . I was still in the movie, and so was the baby andno one had to hold it...

Hi S.! I wasn't sure if I wanted my husband to videotape my birth or not, so without telling me he propped the video camera up on the tv and filmed it. It turned out that I was thankful that he did that. Since the camera was at a distance, it picked up the birth without all of the graphic details. Maybe you could just ask a nurse to set it up for you and periodically check it. (make sure you bring enough tape time and batteries) I asked my nurse to take severals pictures of me with family and she was kind enough to do it. This is YOUR birth experience so make sure that you only have people you want in the room. As far as your mother-in-law goes, just tell her that it means a lot to your husband to have her do it, and that you feel comfortable with her. Then tell her that you're not really sure about how you feel with anyone else filming it. If she doensn't want to do it, then just tell her you'll ask a nurse to prop it up on something sturdy. Congratulations to you and your husband! How strong you must both be!!!

i'm sure, maybe one of the medical staff could videtape it for you.I know there are operating rooms that have cameras when patients have surgeries, maybe you could arrange it beforehand. Good luck!

Talk to your anesthesiologist. Mine actually had an intern take the video and he, himself, took incredible still photos. The benefit is that they are allowed "right in there" and know what is happening step by step to get the perfect shots. Definitely explain your situation and see if they can help you out.

You didn't say anything about your own mom. Or a close family member of yours. I didn't feel comfortable with people in the room with me either. How about a good friend. I video taped my friends delivery with the pg version. I was up by her head. It was neat to watch on tape becuase you could still see the baby coming out, but it didn't show all of her business off. Then after he was born we did close up of the baby. It was also nice beacuase they could show the tape to other people and not gross them out to much. Also, you should just explain to your mother-in-law that it make you uncomfortable to have a lot of people in the room. She should respect your decision and help you and her son out by filming it. Also she should be honored to be invited into the room to see it at all. I didn't let my in-laws in the room, and none of my friends did either. Good luck with it all. And good luck to your husband. That is so great that he is willing to serve our country. Both of my brothers are Marines also. I hope this helps a little.

S.,
Just let them know that you are not comfortable with him watching. It is your body and you need to be comfortable. And let the nurses know in writing (birth plan) and when you arrive that you do not want him in there - tell them who you want i nthe room so that way they can help you!

I would pick either a very close personal friend or family member (like sister or your mom or someone that you trust) to video tape. Just make sure you feel comfy with whoever it is watching. Trust me, by the end, it seems like everybody has seen you! :) But do feel comfortable with a choice that you have made. Do not let your father in law in the room because that is too weird I'm sure.

Good luck!

B.

If your husband wants his mother there for the birth, have her there (if you are comfortable with that), but invite one of your close friends or a member of your family to do the recording. Or if you are in a well-staffed hospital and there are no complications, sometimes a nurse will be able to record it for you. I'm sure if you explain the situation, they would be happy to do that for you! I had my best friend record the birth of my second baby. My mom was kinda upset that I didn't want her in the room for the birth but I let my friend in, but that's her problem. That was 3 years ago and I haven't heard anything about it since. You have to do what makes you feel most comfortable!! You'll have enough things to worry about when you're in labor, you shouldn't have to worry about others' feelings.

Well mybe let them knowyou're not comfortable with him seeing you "down-there"
I take it he joined the Marines? My hubby is a Marine too if you need adice or just wanna talk feel free to get in touch with me.

The bottom line here is that you need to be comfortable. If you aren't, then the whole birth experience is going to be just rotten. I agree that you should ask if they will allow you to set up a tripod with the camera on it. If not, just try to find someone really close to you who will do it. In order to not hurt anyones feelings, I would just tell your mother-in-law that you worked something else out so they would have to do it. I guess kind of make it seem like you are doing them a favor by not having them do it. I have a mother-in-law kind of like that too. I don't want her to do certain things (ie: be in the room when my girls were born.) However, I also don't want her to get mad. Luckily, she wasn't able to be there for either birth b/c my hubby is also in the Marine Corps and we were not stationed very close to them. Anyway, just make sure you are comfprtable. Worry more about yourself than their feelings. You are the one delivering the baby. Also, if you need anything or just someone to talk to be sure to contact me. My husband is in the Marine Corps and I was in until 2003. So, I am totally familiar with the military and all it entails. Good luck and God Bless.

tripod? girlfriend of yours? just make a rule-stay by my head! a video can be made tastefully.

You might want to invest in a tripod, and prop it up on that to catch the video if noone that your comfortable with is willing to video tape for you. Have you considered a good friend?