Whining

Make him say please (nicely) before he gets anything. I get down on my 3 year old's level and say "say please" and then demonstrate saying it in a pleasant tone. If he says please but with a whine, I demonstrate again. Usually he smiles soon and says it sans whine. Otherwise, I would walk away and try it again with the next request.

Signing would also be a great way to increase his confidence in talking.

The best response is to tell him that you cannot understand him when he whines, and if he wants something, he needs to ask in his big boy voice. If you doesnt just ignore the whining. Eventually he will give up or ask in a regular voice.

Hi T.,
This is what worked for me: Whenever my girls would speak to me in a whining voice, I would respond,

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you when you're whining!"

If they continued to whine, I would use the broken record method, and repeat that same phrase over and over. It requires you to be very consistent, and to not give them any other kind of attention, negative or otherwise. Just simply become deaf! If he gets angry with you, I would simply ignore him.

Then, when they would speak to me correctly, I would say,

"Now I can hear you! Thank you!"

It worked for me, like a charm! Hope this helps!

My dd is 2 and she whines,but she is loud talker as well as a screamer. When she whines or screams I just tell her that she needs to ask me nicely what she wants. Sometimes a tantrum appears which I walk away and ignore. If the tantrum is continuous and she starts screaming I just inform her that we will talk when she calms down and I walk away. Eventually they do calm down and ask for wht they want. The more you react to the whining and screaming etc etc..... the more they will do it.

I saw my sister-in-law do handle her whiny toddler in a great way. Whenever he wanted something he would ALWAYS ask in a loud, whiny voice. She would consistently respond with "I can't understand you when you whine like that. Maybe if you used a nice voice I would understand and then I could get you what you want."

Sometimes that made him mad and he would whine again, and she would just repeat her response. When he responded with no more whining, but a sulky or impolite voice, she would say "That's a little better. But I still can't quite understand. Do you have a nicer voice?" After two or three times he would respond appropriately.

Yes, it was tedious. But she was consistent and it worked over time. He's still kind of a loud, whiny kid, but one quick reminder from her and he behaves. He knows he won't get what he wants by whining. Don't give in! Be consistent. Good luck!

every kid does that at this age he will grow out of it you just have to be extra patient with them.

Oh, my gosh! My 2.5 yr. old daughter was whining so much this past weekend I thought I was going to go crazy! What works for me is to tell her, "I would be happy to get you (a drink, snack, book, whatever) when you can use some words to ask me instead of whining. What words do we use for that?" 80% of the time she asks me nicely then, and we move on, and the whining dissipates for a while until I have to remind her again. Her dad tries the "go-to-your-room-until-you-can-stop-whining" approach, but that only seems to work for about 5 minutes; might work for you, though. I think helping them find the right words/not responding to whiny requests lasts longer as a solution. Good luck, and let me know how it goes! I'd take some advice, too! LOL
S.

Tell him once, "I will not listen when you whine, if you need something, please ask in a big boy way" and then from then on out ignore him when he whines. It becomes a habit for them and you just need to remind him that he won't get what he needs until he learns to ask appropriately. Let him get mad, but just ignore him, walk in another room or whatever until he can come and ask nicely and correctly without whining. I would say at least once a day I have to remind my almost four year old I won't answer him or get him what he is asking for until he doesn't whine. He will come back and say then in a normal voice "mommy can you please get me so and so..", it just is like reversing the habit as I think after a while they don't even realize they are doing it.

Maybe it's an age thing. . . my daughter is also an incessant whiner and she drives me insane! She is extremely articulate so I know her whining isn't due to a communication problem. I have also learned that she only whines when she is with me and no one else. When she goes to daycare or to her dads' for the weekend, she behaves just fine until I pick her up, then the whining begins. I've asked her dad and her daycare provider if she whines for them and they both have said she never does, only when I arrive does she start whining. So, I'm pretty sure her whining is due to me doing something wrong, although I've tried many things to get her to stop. I've tried the ignoring her tactic but that only seems to make her whine more and then throw a fit. The only thing that kind of helps is to make her go to her room until she can quit whining and crying, then she can come out. But that only works until the next whining episode. So, I guess I really don't have much advise for you, but good luck - I truly feel your frustration! Let me know if something works for you!

try the Love and Logic series. Start with the Early childhood and take the classes at Rocky Mt. Christian in the fall. I put mine, ages 2.5 and 4 now, in the Peace couch. this is the nice couch in the living room were there are no toys. when they are fussy or whiny, I say: Time for the Peace Couch. then plop them on there and walk away. You may have to do it over several times like with the back to bed technique or time out. This is different then time out though as it is just a place to work it out and they can comeout when they feel ready. I only say: "hugs, now try asking me what you wanted again so I can understand you."

One phrase I used a lot when my son was young was "You need to use your words so I can understand what you want". This, along with others advice, might help. You can say it when he whines or screams.

I tell my 2 year old that I don't speak whine. I ask her to talk in her normal voice, then praise her when she does. It is cute to see the look on her face when I tell her I don't understand and she makes me understand. Whining stinks!

I think that you have done a great job trying to tell him what it is that you are looking for, what you expect him to do. Hopefully it is a phase that he will grow out of, but until he does I would tell him what you want and then ignore him if he keeps on whining. I have a five year old and a two year old and both of them whine and it does drive me nuts! If you have to start singing or something so that he knows you are not going to be visibly be bothered. Just a thought, he might be reacting to you going back to work. I've noticed that my boys will stop listening to me if I keep saying the same things over and over, like it annoys them and they know what the rules were, but they were just ignoring them. Hopefully that helps.

Hi T.,
You have already received a lot of good advice and from your post I can see that you already know what to do here. The key is just being consistant and not letting your irritation show at all.I am sure it will take some full blown tantrums before he really gets the concept that he doesn't get what he wants by whining. Be consistant. And, sorry to say, he is only 2 1/2...you have years of whining ahead of you!!! :)
Take care,
B.

I have the same problem with my daughter. I whine back at her or tell her I can't hear her when she whines and walk away. This has cut back on the whining some, but it has not eliminated it. Good luck and if you find anything that works, please let me know.

Totally act like you can't hear the whining. Say I can't hear you, What did you say? I don't hear whine.
Can't compute - and I can tell you that my son was so glad I said that -- years later he thanked me for that. OK it wasn't until his senior year - but I did get it. He said he hates it when people whine.
I can hear talk - I can't hear whine.
sky

I have a 4 1/2 yr old son that used to have a whining problem. Whenever he would do it I would say "I can't understand whining. Ask me in a normal voice." I would then ignore any requests, orders, etc. until he changed his tone. It worked great. He didn't like being ignored and not getting what he wanted. He learned pretty quick that to get what he wants/needs he has to ask with no whining. Good luck.

ignore him when he refuses not to whine

When our third and youngest was around that age (he is now only 3), he definitely whined and still does. We say in a very calm, pleasant voice

"I will be glad to help you (or whatever is appropriate) when you can make your voice sound like my voice"

You may need to repeat it several times, but always nicely. We do it with our 9 and 5 year old too. It really works.
Good luck!

Whining is one thing I can't stand!!!

My daughter 20 now, when kids we watched would whine when asking for something she looked over their heads and says she can't hear because there is a whine/noise in the air. They quickly stop and ask in a normal voice it might take a couple of times.
The kids learn quick that if they whine they are getting the attention they want even if it is very negative.
I would ignore mine until they could talk to me in a normal voice, I also do that when I watch my nephews kids,9, 8, 5 and 2 1/2 they learned real quick not to whine. At head start I can't hear whining, they learn real quick G.mom won't tolerate whining, when someone new comes in and starts whining they quickly tell them not to whine it is not nice and they don't want to hear it either.
Kids are definitely a joy but we do have to teach them right or no one will want them around.
Once you get this takin care of there will be a new challenge to get through. But once they figure out no whining, when other kids are around they will be sure to explain it to them.
Good Luck and enjoy your babies.

My twins are almost 5 yo and they still whine from time to time. Unfortunately it's normal, awful, and I hate it, but it has gotten better. I tell them I won't answer unless they speak in a big boy voice without whining. Ignoring them works well as they get older. Good luck - you have a few years ahead of you!