Whiner

Usually babies that young dont whine unless they are sick or hungry etc and you cannot spoil a child under a year old. Maybe she has an ear ache. My daughter got ear aches at a young age. She would whine off and on.

I agree with the other posters that your daughter is pretty normal for 8 1/2 months! My daughter was the same at that stage. When leaving a room, I would try to do Peek-a-boo - leave the room still talking to her, then pop back in and say peek-a-boo. Repeat a couple times so she realizes you are coming back. Another thing to consider is starting baby sign language. Your daughter probably wants certain things, but doesn't have a way to communicate what she wants. About this age is a good time to start trying baby sign language. It takes time for the baby to pick it up, but it helps tremendously in the next several months. My daughter is 13 months and can sign "more" "all done" "bath" "thank you" "please" "food" "help". She is able to use her signs when she needs something instead of just whining. Of course she still has her moments of whining (LOL) but at least we can ask her if she needs "food" or "help" and she can respond with her signs. There are several books available on how to do baby signing, or classes offered at hospitals (I am in Racine and All Saints offers a class on Baby Signing.)

good luck and try to stay patient.

Children start bad habits because they get rewarded for them.
Personally, I would just wear my baby in a wrap or sling and just let her have all the mommy time she needs at this point, she will grow up one day and not want to be attached at the hip, and this is such a short time.
However, if you want the behavior to stop, you can start working on it. You need to stop rewarding her for the whining. In the book To Train Up a Child, Mike and Debi Pearl say to not give attention, even a glance, to a child who is whining, but when they are playing nicely or not whining give them lots of praise. That is the time you pick them up, not while they are displaying the annoying behavior.
I think you are going to get screaming from ignoring it, and then have to ignore that, too. It will work, but it takes a bit, maybe a month if you are not completely consistent.

I'm still carrying my 19 month old around. I know it doesn't spoil them, and it actually makes them more secure and obedient down the road. (I have children as old as 18, too) Mike and Debi have very secure, extremly wonderful, obedient children, though, so they may be a better authority than I am.

Do what you feel led to do, though, you know in your heart what is best.

8 months is pretty small to have a "bad attitude" ~ but she could be doing it intentionally because you aren't getting something important L.:

Babies know what they want and need but cannot talk. What would YOU do if you needed something but couldn't talk? Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you were in her position... what would it be like to need water, a hug, food, some comfort or a new position but not be able to ask for it with words?

Now, you need some tools in your toolbox L. because you have a smart one on your hands. Get the book, Raising Your Spirited Child by M. Kurcinka. Once you read it you will start to enjoy these antics she is using to get you to understand her without using words.

Take it from a mom with a Spirited Child, she has not got an attitude YET... but she WILL get one if you don't find out how she ticks, and how BOTH of you can enjoy her next 18 years together.

It's probably boredom. Change her toys out frequently. If she isn't mobile yet change her location frequently as well. My boys loved their Jumparoo at that age, it gave them tons of stimulation.

Children must be trained into appreciation and obedience. Read What the Bible Says About Child Training by Fugate. Set limits - don't ever allow privileges w/o good attitude. Whining continues because parents develop a tolerance for it. Then, when our "limit" is reached we respond, usually in anger or frustration. A zero whining policy means the child never gets any positive reinforcement for whining - period. It's tough to retrain yourself, but it must be done before you can retrain your child. As long as she gets anything at all from whining (attention, toy, food, even negative attention) she will continue, because she benefits. When the benefit disappears the behavior ceases. Also, you must train her in what is right to do for attention (say please & thank you, smile, be pleasant) for these actions do not necessarily come naturally. They must be taught and reinforced. Check yourself and your other family members. Does anyone else in the family use whining to get things? If so, she has a negative mentor who must also be retrained.

SAHM of seven

My son became very whiny around the same age. It got a lot better once he was able to move around better on his own, and now that he's crawling he's able to get himself what he wants. My only advice is to be patient and try to reassure her that you're there for her. Good luck!

Developmentally, she's at the stage where she now realizes you're separate from her and so she's very attached to you. I was just reading an article recently that suggested starting out small--playing peek a boo, so she knows that you come back when you leave, then moving to another room, but still talking to her, and finally leaving the area altogether (to do laundry or go to the bathroom) while she's safe and playing contentedly.

This IS a skill, I'm learning--my first was HORRIBLE about playing alone (at 4, he still is!) but my second, who is far more neglected (ha!) than my first, is much, much better at playing on his own--simply because I haven't had the time or energy to go to him every time he fusses, and if I want time with my first, sometimes the second has to play on his own. It's a gradual process, but this should be the worst of it--it will get better, but it's a matter of teaching her.

Children at 8 months that "whine" is doing so because they need attention. I know it is hard, but they need a lot of attention. If you are losing your patience with her then the whining is probably a result of that. Children need to feel secure in their surroundings. The more secure they feel the less likely they are to whine and later when they are older, throw temper tantrums. So when she whines don't yell at her, don't get impatient, just love her. It will also help if you check the times she whines. If she is doing it close to a nap time, cuddle her before the whining and rock her to sleep. If she is doing it before meals, move her meal time up a little bit, before she gets to whining. If she is whining because you are leaving the room, she is insecure about being alone, so talk with her while you are in the other room. She will grow out of it when she gets big enough to speak and when she gets busy playing with her toys. Good words to remember is "This Too Shall Pass"

Just wanted to send a little note to let you know you are not alone and this is very normal. My almost 9 month old daughter has been doing the same thing over the past couple weeks. I have found that if I sit down with her at first until something gets her attention and then go and do what I need to, the fussing lessens. She still seems upset at first but calms and goes back to her toy quicker. I also try to come into her sight and reassure her that I am still close. She recently began crawling and can begin to follow me so that has helped some, and she has found it funny if I crawl to where I am going, like a little "follow the leader" game. As others have said, love her up while you can, once they can get up and go you don't get that snuggle time much anymore. I joke about my daughter sometimes and say that someone snuck in and sucked out all her sweet happy baby and injected it back with attitude :) It is crazy to me how quickly they change! React to her how you feel you want or need to, you can never hold or love a child too much, but they obviously need guidance with their actions also. I just try to remind myself it is only a phase and take one day at a time :) Good luck.

My 5 month old just started doing this too. I have been attributing it to teething and the fact that he's getting frustrated because he can't quite do what he wants to do - creep, crawl, sit, stand. He wants someone with him to help him because he can't do that stuff yet, so he whines if you leave the room.

I'm trying not to respond immediately, as that only reinforces the behavior.

I do believe it's not a "whiner" you've got, but a normal 8 1/2 month old baby. She is beginning her separation anxiety phase. This is a necessary developmental phase which YOU must give into (hold her whenever she requests it, wear her in a baby sling, etc.). People acting like her at age 8 1/2 years old have what is truly a "bad habit". If you ignore this important phase of her life, you will have a Lifelong Whiner. The only way to break her of this habit is to indulge it and it will be over in a couple months. Good luck!

Hi L.
My son was the same way at 7&8 months he was bord and wanted to move he was on the verg of walking and crawling so he would just whine because he could not do what he wanted. it is just a phase and should pass soon.:)T.

omg...yes yes yes!!!!
Our daughter did that around the same age and it lasted till almost 10mths. We tried not to give in most of the time and eventually it got better. It seemed like that started around the time Stranger danger/seperation anxiety began.
I don't have any magic solutions but know that it does get better.
L.

It could be that she's discovering the joys of cause and effect AND being demanding of your attention. She is definitely old enough to know what she wants and try to get it, though it's not really naughtiness because she hasn't yet learned that her behavior is wrong. A child isn't naughty until they have learned that a certain behavior is unacceptable and THEN still do it.

With my kids I did two things:

1) I developed a routine for these situations and
2) I began teaching them sign language so that they could better communicate with me (it was empowering for them and greatly reduced their and my frustration).

My routine was that if he (or she, depending which of my kids we're talking about) whined, I went to him and told him that he was fine and then got him interested in something. If he fussed when I left, I'd tell him he's fine and then ignore him as long as I knew there was nothing else wrong.

This not only taught them they can't always get what/who they want when they want it, but it also taught them how to entertain themselves AND it increased their attention spans (part of that is that I only ever gave my infants one or two toys at a time).

Now my four-year-old and two-year-old play marvelously by themselves or with each other for periods well beyond what is supposedly "normal." And no, they aren't neglected, they're having a blast!

It's wonderful. They get self-guided time to develop their imaginations and I get to finish the dishes/laundry/etc.

As far as the signing, there are lots of great, free online resources for that.