While Baby Is Nursing, Toddler Watches DVD?

Her weight gain is perfectly normal! If the pediatrician isn't worried about it, relax since that will help your milk flow in the brief time she can focus on breastfeeding. Also, the more she just has to eat while the distractions are there, the more she will be able to adapt to them. It may mean that she gets really efficient and only needs 5-10 minutes to get her fill from both breasts, or it may mean that she learns how to tune out the "stuff" in order to focus on her meal. Maybe try reading a book with your toddler while the baby nurses. It's still distracting, but it's your voice rather than all the stimulation of a tv or a toddler playing! :)

I believe in using whatever works. It does seem to me that what both babies are doing is not working for you. They've trained you.

I suspect you're worried that the baby won't get enough to eat if you set up the schedule and feed her less often? Perhaps one of the reason she isn't growing as quickly as she should is that by snacking she never gets enough to eat. I recommend talking with a lactation specialist.

By protecting her from distractions she hasn't learned to eat when there are distractions. And by allowing your son to interrupt, you haven't taught him to play quietly for 15-20 minutes.

You're concerned about leaving him in a room by himself. You can baby proof a room, give him a boundary with a baby gate, and reinforce for him that this is the way it is. I'd suggest you do this while not nursing. Get him started playing with several things available. Turn on the TV if you want. Tell him you're leaving and will return in 3or 4 minutes. Then leave and go to a different room. Return in a few minutes, let him see you, then leave again. Don't play with him. You're teaching him that you will return. Gradually extend the amount of time in between "visits" until he's able to be by himself for 10 or 15 minutes. Try to return before he begins crying at first.

He'll test you by crying. Be consistent. Return in the same number of minutes you've returned before. When you return and he's crying, don't make over him. You can get him started on playing again but no "you poor baby" type of interaction. You could say, "I know this is hard for you (name). I know you can play by yourself while mommies gone. I'll always come back."

Doing this is quite painful for parents. And perhaps a bit painful for toddlers tho they're never as upset as they seem or as Mom and Dad feel. They do need reassurance at the same time they're learning that they can play by themselves and you'll come back.

They will be learning things for their entire life. Teaching them to have success for themselves is a very positive action. When we don't give them the experience of sucess with reasonable expectations we are teaching them that someone will always bail them out.

I do believe in child centered living when the parent's needs are also included and the child receives what he needs but not necessarily what he wants.

Raising babies/children is difficult enough without making all of our decisions around the wants of a child. We want to raise responsible, compassionate adults. The way we do that is to balance our lives and needs with their lives and needs. Emphasis on needs. Over many years they learn to entertain themselves and to accept that other's are as important as they are.

I believe she will adapt to her environment and get used to having a sibling around. She won't let herself starve. But I also think that if your son is being really rowdy during nursing, you should teach him that when baby eats it's time to be quiet. Just my opinion, I only have one so I really don't know too much about having two. :)

I would set him up with a craft or activity for that time period. He's old enough to have quiet/independent time with out mommy around. This will give you special bonding time with your baby with out distractions and maybe she'll start eating better too.

I would also not feed her so frequently. She's hungry quickly because she's only getting small amounts of food, but is never hungry enough to get a full feed.
It ends up becoming a cycle/habit. It's easy to break though. You start at the beginning of the day. When she wakes, make sure she gets a nice big feed (if she is not eating a lot at the start of the day, it is a sure indication that the last night feed is not needed or needs to be much less...night feeds should never take away from day time feeds) then start to stretch her times out from there. 3 days to start a habit, 3 days to break a habit. As long as your consistant she'll be eating a longer stretches in no time.

Plug the toddler in and don't feel guilty! They can have up to two hours a day at that age, per the experts. I tried reading to my toddler while nursing--totally didn't work. I bought a lot of new toys (From Goodwill) and doled them out for times when TV didn't work. Breast milk is important and nutrition is important, so do what you have to do. Boys are hard to keep still, so take advantage of the DVDs if they work.

When I was in your situation I took a few of my sons toys/books and put them in a basket. Those were the things he played with while I was breast feeding. Then when I was done the toys/books got put back in the basket and put away. After a few weeks or so if he was doing really good I would buy something small like from the dollar store and add it to the basket. It was difficult at first but we all got use to it.

stay strong and you will all get through this.

will he sit still to be read to? maybe that could be your special reading time with him?

it would probably be to your benefit to get your baby used to noise while nursing, since it's hard to find a Q. spot when you're out-and-about. you didn't mention if it's the noise or the visual distractions. if the later, i would try a breastfeeding cover-up. if it's the noise, you'd probably have to get her used to sounds. could you play some music at a Q. level and gradually turn it up over time? or is she popping off when there are sudden noises? i'm sorry i don't have much advice there, my kids were very focused on eating.

what if you just stop feeding her when she pops off? it's kind of along the lines of when they are older and start throwing their food and you say 'oh you're all done' and take the food away. eventually they learn that if they throw, they don't get food. i know you're concerned about her weight. i would imagine that there would be a learning-curve period but maybe if she doesn't get to 'snack' all the time, she'll sit down for a real 'meal' or she'll be hungry enough just to focus on eating.

that said, i probably wouldn't be able to do that until i was at my wits end but thought i'd throw it out there.

good luck and let us know if you figure it out!

Try the Scholastic book/story DVDs! We use these when mom is tired and doesn't feel like reading a story, or someone needs down time. They are like a story with slow-moving cartoon, but seem to be much less "hyperactivity inducing" than your average cartoon! They seem calming, and don't disturb my kids' sleep at all if they watch them in the evening. My kids LOVE them! They come with several stories on a DVD, and you can select "watch all" or you can play each story individually.

Off the top of my head, my kids' favorite is Good Night Gorilla, and they also have Chicka Boom and Where The Wild Things Are, etc. Search on amazon under DVD section for any one of those names.

You could also have a basket or box that is just toys for when you are nursing. Your older one would be allowed to use this only when you are nursing and that way the toys would stay fresh and interesting.

Charlene - I would suggest not feeding her as often. That way when she is nursing she will stay on for longer amounts of time. The longer the baby nurses the "thicker" and more nutitious milk she will get. When your baby first starts sucking she is getting the thinner milk, the longer she is on the "fatter" the milk is. (you can tell....squeeze a little milk out right before you start feeding her, when you are done with a good feeding (10 minutes or so) squeeze a little milk out again. You will see that it is much whiter)
Sometimes babies get fussy and it's not just because they are hungry. They may just want to be taken outside, or held, or played with. Every time my younger son would cry my husband would hand me the baby and say, "he's hungry" even though I knew he wasn't!
I don't see anything wrong with the DVD, but if you cut back on the "grazing" you will get longer nursing and then your son can watch 10-15 minutes of a movie.
Good Luck, L.
(mom who nursed until my son was 18 months old!)

You could try having a special box of some fun new toys that your son only gets to play with while you are nursing.