When Your Spouse Is in Recovery...

My husband has been in recovery for over 20 years, so for at least 10 years when I met him. He attends 2 meetings each week. He also sponsors a couple of guys and mentors several. Probably the biggest thing I do (besides never have alcohol in the house) is treat his meetings as sacred (only ask him to miss if absolutely necessary) and be hospitable when "the guys" come over (which is just about every weekend).

ETA - I just asked my husband if there was anything I did to support him, and he said letting him do what he needs to do (meetings, AA gatherings, etc). When I told him why I asked, he said, "Tell her she needs Alanon." If recovery is new to him, you really do need Alanon. You will need support, too. You will need to be able to talk to other people who have been there. You might even want to get a sponsor.

my husband is a recovering alcoholic. he has been sober for almost 29 years.
my role in helping him was to go to meetings with him for the first couple of years, and to keep all alcohol out of the house and never drink around him (no hardship, i'm practically a teetotaler anyway.)
i did not go to al-anon, but i've heard nothing but good things about it. i was fortunate in that my husband's recovery was relatively smooth compared to many (my father was nightmarish during the first few years of his sobriety) so i can't offer much in the way of personal anecdotes there. but do use all resources available to you. it's not an easy road.
khairete
S.

You will find the greatest support in a Naranon group. You can get a sponsor as well, I believe.
There you will find people dealing with the same issues,
Best to remember that this is your husbands responsibility and battlle (his addiction) and your responsibility is not to enable, make excuses for him or excuse his addiction.
Educate yourself about addiction. Alanon or Naranon is he best place to start.
Good luck!

It has only been 6 months for us. I concur with respecting the person's need to go to meetings and have time to meet with other alcoholics/sponsor, to talk and work on the 12 steps. Just generally be patient and supportive.

both my husband and i are in recovery. we work really hard to keep our recovery separate. we are respectful of how each other recovers. i have a couple really good friends who are married to "normies" and their spouses attend alanon. being married to a recovering addict/alcoholic can be trying at times but it is for sure doable. keep in mind his meetings are very important as well as his time with his sponsor/sponsees. they will keep him focused. my hubby and i rarely attend meetings together as we dont take our children so i know that times i get to go (once or twice a month) are really important to me. good luck to you. :):)

My ex was an alcoholic who was in and out of recovery for several years. Unfortunately, he didn't get serious about it until I kicked him out of the house and divorced him. He died a month after the divorce was final.
Al-Anon was a big help for me at first, but honestly, after he was gone from my household, I found that I was just fine on my own.