When Will She Stop

Updated on January 11, 2007
Y.B. asks from Woodland, CA
16 answers

I was wondering when my 5 year old daughter will stop sucking her thumb.
The thing is she she doesnt suck her thumb at school or anywhere public just at home. She might slid it in on a drive were taking but not in front of her friend, so she seems to have control over it, but at home I ask her to please not do that and she tells me I just can't help it. So what is it mind over matter or just a bad habit?

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So What Happened?

Well Ladies thank you all so much for your responses, and advice I appreciate each and everyone's opinion looks like I have my work cut out for me, if I decide to go that way never the less thanks again and Ill keep you all posted on our progress.
Thanks Y.

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C.K.

answers from Portland on

Hi,

Actually, my son just got rid of this habit 2 months ago. He's now 3 1/2, meaning he's sucked his thumb for 3 years. This bad habit makes his front two teeth protrude a little bit and affect the growth of his other teeth. That's why I finally made up mind to help him get rid of it. I tell him if he can stop sucking his thumb for one day (he only did it at night before falling asleep), then he'll be rewarded with one small toy car (that's his favorite toy. I bought them at Dollar Tree. I don't want to spend too much money). I made it clear that if he stopped doing it for 4 days he'll get 4 cars. In the beginning he's excited about the idea and stopped doing it for the first 2,3 days. After that he started to do it again. I corrected him every time I saw him doing it and he resisted and cried a lot. But I ignored him and kept correcting him and reminding him that more cars are waiting for him. We worked together for about two consecutive weeks and gradually he forgot it. Though sometimes he does it when he's asleep (not very often), at least he doesn't do it when he's awake. I don't know if this "reward" method works, but the most important thing you should remember is once you start to do the intervention, don't give you or her any excuse to give up halfway. Just do it once and for all. Good luck!

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T.N.

answers from Spokane on

I would just explain to her that babies suck there thumb. My daughter sucked her thumb up until school started then just did it at night or when she got really tired thank god she grew out of it she is now 13. I wish you best and there is hope.

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R.K.

answers from San Diego on

In my experience kids do things in there own time. My brother was a thumb sucker and he still does it to this day! He is 25 now. He only does though when he's really tired. I almost think you never stop a bad habit. It sounds like she want's attention at home and she knows that if she sucks her thumb you will say or do something about. Ignore it and eventually she will just give it up.

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

I sucked my thumb until I was 7...the same way your daughter did. I remember when I quit because my friend and I both sucked our thumbs and decided one night we were going to make a bet on who could stop first. That night was the last night I sucked my thumb. I got teased constantly from my family for sucking my thumb, but nothing they said made me want to quit. I think you may just have to let your daughter give it up on her own...and I do think of it as a habit :)

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

The way to get your daughter to stop sucking her thumb at home may depend on why she does it. And, she may not know why she needs to do it. I hate to admit this, but I sucked my thumb until I was 10 years old. Unlike your daughter, I did suck my thumb at school and around my friends...I eventually changed schools and was able to quit doing it at school, but needed to at home for a while. Eventually the need tapered off and I just quit altogether. I guess what I'm saying is, How long has your daughter been able to control it around her friends and in public? I think it took me almost 2 years after I quit sucking my thumb in public to completely quit doing it at home.

You might try offering your daughter something that she REALLY wants as a reward for not sucking her thumb. That can be a strong incentive...especially if there are little rewards along the way.

I would avoid trying to put things on her thumb that taste bad...that may end up just makign her suck her thumb more...to get the taste off and then to assure that nothing is there anymore.

Goodluck!

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G.B.

answers from Portland on

Hello Y.,
My daughter is now 24 and she sucked on her thumb until she was in 9th or 10th grade. It was at night in her sleep, I don't think she was aware she was doing it. I tried everything to break her. The Doctor & Dentest said that it was not bothering her formation of her mouth or teeth. If I were you, I would just let it go amd she will stop on her own.
Good Luck

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L.C.

answers from Seattle on

So, I had a kindergartener in my kindergarten class (I am a teacher) whose mom and dad desperately wanted to have stop sucking her thumb. This child did it all the time! I told her that the mouth had a lot of germs in it. Everytime she sucked her thumb I'd tell her to go wash her hands. She stopped within a week. That was quite a few years ago and there was more of a stigma with it. Nowadays I think most people would say just ignore it and it will go away and even if it didn't it's not a big deal especially if she doesn't do it in public. It's not like she'll suck her thumb on the way down the aisle at her wedding. If your daughter already can control it I wouldn't worry about it.

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K.M.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Y.!

My daugther was a thumb sucker. She just turned 7, and she probably "stopped" about 6-12 months ago. She would only suck it when she was tired, hurt, scared, etc., OH, and she would definately suck it to go to sleep. She wasn't ashamed, and we never really made a big deal about it. At first, we expected her to just stop. We even tried the gross tasting stuff on her thumb, but finally we just kind of eased her into the quitting (more my husband than myself). For example, we started off by telling her she couldn't suck it in the car. Then she couldn't suck it while watching TV. Eventually, we took her blanket away, and told her that she couldn't suck her thumb in bed at night. Obviously, we would go in there to check on her before we went to bed, and she was sucking it, but we didn't make a big deal about it. On the mornings she woke up and didn't have her wrinkled thumb from sucking it, we made a big deal. Every once in a while when she is sick, she will still ask for her blanket, which means she wants to suck her thumb, but if we can "ignore" that, then we make it through. I will warn you though, since the thumb sucking stopped, nail biting started! (Any ideas on how to get that to stop?) Well, good luck!

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

Well, not to embarass myself totally, but I sucked my thumb until I was 13 years old. It is definitely something you want to get stopped right now.

This is why I 'forced' my babies to be binki babies. At least I could take the binki away from them.

It is totally a habit right now. When they were younger it was for comfort. You might try giving her a blanket and wrap her thumb up in a bunch of bandaids or something. Ha Ha. My parents tried everything, but I was very insecure and the blanket and the thumb went hand in hand.

BE CONSISTENT!!! Everytime you see her, make her take it out. I would keep wrapping it up. She might take it off, but you need to have a consequence for that. Early to bed or no T.V. or something like that. But...no matter what...keep wrapping it up. Redirect her when she is doing it. It might be that she is just tired and bored.

Well, good luck! And...I did stop sucking my thumb eventually. Ha Ha

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S.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hello Y.,
My 5 yr old pulls her ear, or picks at the inside. She has done this since she was very young and generally it is a sign to me that she is uneasy about something. Sit down with you daughter and talk about the day, the news, or even Bratz.lol! Anything that might give her some reassurance. At 5 kids are coming in to the confusing age between kid and big kid.....I know it seems early for that but society is not helping us keep them kids so much anymore. Just make sure the communication is open, and give her an outlet besides that thumb. Good luck!!

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N.G.

answers from Sacramento on

I can honestly tell you that I did the same thing until I was 7, never sucked my finger in public or around friends only at home, one day I just stopped. I think it was because I got sick at school and feel asleep in the office and when I woke up I had my finger in my mouth and got so embarrassed that I just stopped.

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D.J.

answers from San Diego on

When I was a child I used to bite my nails. I know it;s not the same problem but maybe this will help. My father used to put this certain type of nail polish on my nails to get me to stop. It had the worst taste so I stoped putting my fingers in my mouth. I don't know if they still make it but I'm sure you can find out on line.

Good Luck and remember to be firm and patient about it.

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I.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

well my son has the same thing!.....but my grandmother told me to put hot sauce on his thumb,but that was a problem because he likes hot sauce......so my husbond started telling him that babys do that not big boys and he stoped.....now he still puts it in his mouth but only at night to go to bed....its better then everyday at every minute....i dont know if it might help you out ........just tell her thats for babys not big girls and keep telling her that every time u see her....and play like she is a baby and she will hate it then she will stop like my son......i hope this will help some what ...let me know if it did!!
have a good one!

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

HI Y.,
Well just an idea i heard from another mom.
Ask your daughter if she will give a special present for your birthday. If she will stop sucking her thumb for you. Tell her it would mean so much to you. And give her ideas to keep her hands at bay when those thumb times arrise. Good luck to ya!
L.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Start saving money for braces..... I was a huge thumb sucker and my mother tried to bribe me with stuff in order for me to stop. She even put chili on my thumb but it didn't work. Finally at 11 years old, YES 11, I was finally ready because I was around my friends alot more and I stopped on my own I still did it once in a big big while and then I stopped completely at 18. I 'm 26 years old and I have a huge overbite because of my thumb sucking and I'm in the process of correcting it with braces.

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Y.M.

answers from Portland on

My daughter never sucked her thumb but, she did suck her fingers and various other things. She was big on the binky and would cry non-stop till we went to the store and bought her a new one (that is after we couldn't find the other lost binkies in house). I think we went through, like, 10 binks a week when I hit my limit.

But, my point is she had a strong desire to suck (for some reason????). I have no idea why she never found her thumb.

When the time came for her to stop with the binky, she graduated on her own. During teething she would put the binky down and chew on her toys. Her oral fixation continued well into the Barbie years as her favorite flake out form of relaxation was to chew on a Barbie shoe with feet up in the air just thinking about playing with the dolls - I guess. Still to this day as a High School student she seems to prefer the blue caps from the white Bic Pens. And her nails have never grown past her finger tips. She just can't resist the chewing & sucking on her finger tips.

I don't think she has a pika problem because she doesn't swallow foreign objects. Over the years, I've wondered if it's a habit, if she has anxiety, if she needs this kind of stimulation to help her focus, etc. But, one thing I've never done is crack down on her about it, like I did with some other more obnoxious habits. Something in me knew that it was a loosing battle to try any control techniques like teasing, or being really attentive always trying to catch her in the act and make her stop, or to do things like put a bad taste on her fingers and favorite chew objects. The last thing her and I needed was another thing to powerstruggle over.

So, she can bite away on her nails as she watches TV (as long as she doesn't wipe the peals on the couch), and she can chew her pen caps as she studies for Mock Trial / Youth & Law, and her friends in band can poke fun at her finger tips that look like little nubs on her flute, piccollo, french horn, and bag pipes - I think she has them named.

She'll do what she'll do and no one can stop her. So, I guess, all I can tell you is that the sucking never sucked the brains out of her head. She's smart and talented.

And she don't care what anyone has to say about it. And it's not embarrassing to her at all. She sees it as something that adds to her signiture personality traits... She's very beautiful and she will even go as far as to slap her bottom (sassy) with her stubby fingers and tell you that a girl needs something natural left on her body -nope no need for nail polish or fake nails on this girl.

If you want to see a picture of her come to my website at
http://huntersfirsthunt.tripod.com
She's on the page for Latest News and Donations

No buck teeth - a beautiful smile.

I wouldn't worry about your little one. As a Addy would put it, a girl needs something.

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