When to Split Twins Up

My boy/girl twins are 3 and they still don't want to be apart. I'm going to let them decide when they are ready to be separated.

Hi J.,

My girl/boy twins are going to be 2 in 6 weeks and they still share a room. I think it's up to you. If you have a reason to split them up - not sleeping well or something - then you might want to take the opportunity now when the change of the move is already going to affect them one way or another. If there's no real reason (other than maybe having the space to do it or that you know you will eventually), you might wait until they're a little older, say out of cribs and ready for big kid beds. I don't think there's any set age to split them or not, though ultimately, I know a lot of girl/boy combos split later for gender and interest reasons. If we stay in our current house with 3 kids, two of them are always going to have to share a room. So for now, it's our twins. As time goes by, if we stay or don't add a room, we'd probably put the girls together as the girl/boy interests (in toys, etc) change. Still, we have a 4 year age difference to consider, but at this point my 6 year old is already planning her dream room with her little sister! It's up to you, but with your move, they might do better with a big change if they stick together still. At the same time, they may or may not have the super strong bond with each other yet like they will when they are running around together and talking, like mine do now. From that perspective, I don't think their bonding potential will change, but it might make it easier if the split happens early. Mine started really playing with each other and becoming "attached" friends at around 17 months when their big sister went off to kindergarten. They are always looking for each other, sharing toys, and following each other around talking and looking for trouble. Yours might be closer to each other earlier because they've only got each other. I'm not sure if I've just rambled or helped any, but I'm trying to see both sides. Really, I think it's a toss up, and you know your kids best. Good luck either way!

My mom had my twin and myself sleeping together until we were 10 years old. We were not crazy about it at all. Split them while you can and build them up to the fact that they will finally have their OWN toys in their OWN rooms, etc. If we ever got lonely for eachother we had an overnight and that ended soon because we realized our OWN place was for a reason. Mom said she couldn't count the times that Jennifer and I would sit up in our individual beds and argue back and forth like we were awake...funny how close identical twins really are.

I split mine up at 6 months dues to one beign really very ill and screaming all day all night so the other could at least nap etc. I am sad i had to do it and even when they wre 2 they would try to run into each others room and wake the other up. I still have those child proof locks on thir doors because they want to get into each others rooms and see them etc.
Part of me wants to tell you to keep them together till they get used to teh smells etc of the new house and know it is their home now and then separate. if they do not wake each other up etc then keep them togheter if not and there are issues then I woudl say go for it and separate, they will be together for a while. I like havign them in separate rooms so if one goes to be at a differnt time you get one on one alone time with the other child before they go to bed. it is nice. good luck!
J.

I say wait a little longer..
My boy/girl twins are 5, and still share a room. I'm glad they have time to reconnect at the end of the day. In the past, there were phases when I definitely wished they had their own rooms (i.e. they were fighting their nap at 2 1/2 yrs or when switching to a big kid bed and playing rather than sleeping)--but we didin't have the space with a new baby on the way. I think the biggest advantages to splitting them up is extra storage for their toys and clothes, and having their own space for nap time. I split my twins up at 2 yrs (for 1 night) and put them back the next day... it seemed too soon and they seemed so forlorn. Now, at 5 yrs old, I think they are ready for their own space. So... I guess I'd say keep them together for a while longer, but have that extra room available for when it feels right.

I have two year old boy/girl twins . They still share the same room and would be lost without each other at this age. We are going to wait until they are 4 or 5 if it feels right. If they are not sleeping well or won't take naps I usually lay on the floor until the noisy one goes to sleep and the other will follow shortly after.Good Luck!

I think it is all up to you. We split our twin girls up when they turned 2 1/2 because I couldn't get them to take a nap or go to bed on time. I know you are dealing with a boy and a girl, but you still have a while before they start noticing body differences. For us it was really about my sanity.

The decision to split them up really depends on the kids themselves. My boy/girl twins will be 2 next month and they still share a room. With my twins, they enjoy being together and one of them really doesn't sleep well unless the other is nearby. We also just moved in January and decided that it was not yet time to split them. We felt that with a move to a new home, there is enough change taking place without throwing in more. I've been told by several (including our doctor) that boy/girl twins really should be split by the time they go to kindergarten but before that is really up to the kids themselves. It may not hurt to keep things "as is" until at least a few months after you move to see how the kids adapt. We even arranged our twins' cribs in the same pattern in their new room so that they could still look for their partner in the same spot. In the event that all of a sudden we know it's time to split them up, the other room is decorated and ready to go. Yet I know a few others with twins who used their moves as opportunities to split the kids up - mainly for sleep disruption purposes. No one knows your kids better than you. But if you're concerned that they need to be split just because they're boy/girl twins and they're turning one, don't feel the need to rush. If there are no sleep issues and the kids enjoy being together, let them continue to bond and grow together. They've been together all along up until this point and more than likely they don't mind. If you do decide to split them at moving time, just prepare yourself for the possibility of a few sleepless nights the first while until the kids have adjusted to the changes. Good luck!