When to Move to Big Boy Bed

Updated on September 24, 2008
N.A. asks from Independence, OH
15 answers

Okay moms...First son went into a big boy bed at 2. He is now 4 and its been a pain in the butt getting to bed alone every night. Im guilty...I lay with him. My little guy who is now 19 1/2 half months has decided to climb out of his crib. My husband took the mattress spring thing out and we put his mattress on the floor in the crib so he cant climb out. Should we leave him in the crib or do a bed?!? Thanks :)

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So What Happened?

So I went out and bought a crib tent wondering how in the heck this thing was really going to work. WHAT A MIRACLE!! He loves it!! And we are back to our regular sleeping patterns. Thank you so much!!

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R.T.

answers from Cincinnati on

Bed!!
Stop going to bed w/them N.. Go ahead break the cycle now-you can do it!! Be tough!
Good Luck!!

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I moved my first two into a big bed when they were each almost two, and my second had a really hard time getting used to being in the bed without getting out. When I thought about it, it makes sense. I didn't leave him for long periods of time in the other rooms of the house by himself, no matter how baby proofed they were, so why would I have left him there by himself when he could get out and do whatever he wanted to all night long?!

Well, it ended up ok in the end, as it usually does, but with my youngest we decided to keep her in the crib until at least three. We bought a crib tent, which I think was about $80, but,as my husband said, "It was the best $80 we ever spent!" She stopped complaining about going to bed and likes it now that she has the cool tent to sleep in, and there is no way in the world she will ever be able to get out of that! If she can figure it out, she deserves to go to a big girl bed!

I did read a FANTASTIC book about children and sleep called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by a pediatrician named Dr. Weissbluth, I believe. It is the best thing I read about kids. The second half of the book is the best part and is the practical application of the years of research that this man has done on babies nad children and their sleep habits. He recommends keeping them in the crib until the age of 3 unless they are getting out and hurting themselves, a danger which we removed with the crib tent.

Good luck! This whole babies and sleep thing is the hardest part of having babies, I think!

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

If your little one is climbing out of bed, it is probably safer for him to be in a big boy bed. If you move him to a big boy bed, I would put a baby gate up at his bedroom door for when or if he wakes up during the night. As for sleeping alone, I completly understand. My 2 yo loves to sleep with momy and dady, but it is soooo hard to keep putting her back in bed, especially when I am so tired. I put my two yo in bed, lay down and read a story, turn on her fish light and music for 6 min and leave. When she comes sneaking out I just walk her back to bed. BUT, alot of nights I am tooo tired for all that and cave. Best of Luck!

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

19 months is young, but if he is climbing over the crib edge, you probably should put him in a regular bed. My rule was if they could climb out or when they were potty trained, they need to be in a regular bed.

Also, anything at these ages can be a pain if you let it. You need to take control and use punishment to stop any behavior that is a problem. If the four year old won't go to bed alone, let him know that you will stay with him 20 minutes, the next night 15, then 10. AND that he will get such and such punishment the next day if he doesn't stay in his bed. Take away an activity he loves, like playing at the park, going outside, etc. Make him stay in his room instead for at least an hour, each day adding more time to it as you take away the time spent with him at night to get him to sleep. It will take 3-4 days, but he will learn.

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M.B.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi N.,

I would probably move him to a toddler bed. From what I have heard, if they are climbing out of the crib, it's not safe. Luckily, my daughter never climbed out of her crib. But, as others have said, I would DEFINITELY baby proof the room to the extreme and also put up a gate so he can't leave his room. It will probably be tough because he'll realize he's got some freedom, but he'll get used to it. Also, when using the toddler bed, I found it comforting to have a little rail on the bed to kind of keep them in it. My daughter got used to her bed really quickly, although she was older.

Good luck!!!

M.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I put both of my kids in a twin bed at 15 months old. I thought it was a perfect age because they never had to transition to the change. As far as your sleeping habits for your kids, you're going to have to decide on your own if it is or is not working for you. If you are happy with laying down with your child every night in order for him to get to sleep, then that's fine. If you're not, and you want to change, then lay him down one night and explain to him that YOU made the mistake, not him, of laying down with him every night and that from now on, there's going to be a rule for both of you. You are not allowed to lay down with him anymore, and he's going to follow big boy rules by going to bed by himself like other 4 year olds and sleeping all night until morning. My son is 4 and goes to bed at 8:00. He sleeps all night long every single night until 7 or 7:30. Now, my just turned 6 year old does good, but goes through periods when she wakes me up several times a night. So, with her, she knows that everytime she wakes me up, she loses a stuffed animal. I have a bag that is for goodwill that we put them in. It works great. I first started it because two nights in a row she woke me up 4 times. Normally what happens is she won't wake me up for months, then out of the blue she'll wake me up. I don't do anything that first time because I figure she has a reason why she's waking me up. But, I do explain to her the next time that it's enough and that she will get in trouble the next time she wakes me up. If I don't do this, she totally takes advantage of me being nice that first time and continues it over and over and doesn't get the sleep I know she needs. So, that's when I take away things. Your four year old and 19 month old are going to both end up with the same sleeping habits and then what will you do?

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think it is time to move them to a "big boy" bed when you think they are ready. Climbing out of the crib is a good time to make the move, however.
I guess you learned from your past mistake with the older boy. It is all right to lay down with them while you read them a bedtime story and say prayers if you are religious. Then it is time to turn out the main light, turn on the soft music and leave the room.
If you aren't comfortable moving him out of the makeshift crib just yet then don't do it for another couple of months.

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D.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

Our 3 kids transitioned to a "real" bed at young ages - they slept with us and my first was in her own bed by 2 1/2 (being in her crib with sides off and mattress lowered from 18 mo-2 1/2); my third was in the "real" bed by 12-13 mo ... probably something about being the 3rd ha ha !!!
Obviously, you won't get any negative comments from me about you laying down with ds ! :-D

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I would suggest a crib tent, its kept my 19 month old in his crib, since he's too young for a bed at this point.

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S.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I say keep a child in a crib as long as possible. It's safer for the child, and it helps with the parents sanity since you don't have to constantly keep putting your little one back in bed. I always hear parents putting such small children in beds so early. Obviously if the child is in danger of hurting themselves because they are climbing/jumping out of their crib then a different bed is necessay. If you can keep a child in a crib until closer to 3, they are more likely to transition to a big kid bed much easier since their understanding of why they get a big kid bed is better. This won't work for every child, but it can. We talk with our children about a few months befor their 3rd birthday. We say how they are becoming such a big kid, and that when they turn 3 they will get their big kid bed. We make a big deal out of it, and our children seem to respond to the big kid bed trasition well with this process. The best part is if they understand the concept of a big kid bed, and that they stay in it to sleep all night, then the parents don't have to mess around with trying to reason with a toddler as to why the stay in a bed and constantly putting them back in bed when they get out. Hope this helps. It's what works for us.

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D.I.

answers from South Bend on

You can move your son into a big boy bed now. He is old enough, and he will be just fine. I had all 3 of my kids in a toddler bed right before or just after they turned 2. Go ahead and move him.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7, and 4.

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

I would leave him in a crib situation as long as possible.

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R.G.

answers from Indianapolis on

I made the same choice with my second child, letting her co-sleep, laying with her at night, etc. She is 6 and still wakes up more than the other two. We got her out of the habit of co sleeping by backing down the time each night. Sort of Ferberized her, ha ha. She was about 4. I think I first started by saying I would stay for 15 minutes. Then backed it down a little at a time. She could read a digital clock so we used this for counting down. Eventually we got to only a few minutes and I was gone.
Something else that helped, I would stay within ear shot when I did leave, working on the computer, etc. Eventually she got to sleep with me not in the room at all. It took time, but I didn't want to just cut things off all at once. It was me who chose to allow this habit when she was a baby, so I didn't want to make her suffer by quitting cold turkey.
Best of luck. Our style of change took a while, but after sleeping with her in whatever bed for four years, a month didn't seem so long to make it stop. :)

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C.G.

answers from Columbus on

Could you get a crib tent? I wouldn't feel comfortable using the crib improperly, you never know. If you have to get a bed then just baby/toddler proof his room to the extreme. Use a gate so he can't get out and make sure his dresser or big furniture are tethered to the wall. Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

What a clever little guy! I think I must have a deeper crib than most people because I always read these requests and think "how on earth do they do that?!" My son can climb all over furniture and the climber in back (even with a broken arm!!), up slides, whatever, but he has never gotten out of the crib. Or maybe he just likes his bed enough that he doesn't try?
Well, that's neither here nor there...I think if he's climbing out, it's probably not safe, even with a mattress next to it because if he falls on his head he could hurt his neck even if he doesn't bust his head, right? So, how about putting sheets on that twin mattress and just leaving it on the floor? Then make sure all furniture is secured against the walls so he can't try to climb it and tip it over. If you usually leave the door open, put up a tall child gate that is wall mounted instead of tension mounted so he can't climb it or pull it down.
Good Luck!

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