When to Have the Talk? - Florida,NY

If you're talking about explaining periods to her just go for it in a very relaxed, matter of fact way. I remember asking my mom what pads were for and she just laid it all out. I wasn't shocked or embarrassed. :)

Now is a great time. There is no need for a book. Noone knows about a period better than you because you have one every month. You already know the who, what, when and why's about a menstrual cycle. And you are a woman, you have been a girl once so you know everything she is experiencing and will go through in life. Thats why I always tell my girls that they can never get over on me because I have been there and done that.

My daughter turned 9 this past May and we've been talking about puberty for a couple years now (though admittedly she is usually grossed out by the end of the talk and is ready to stop!). I second the vote for "The Care and Keeping of You" book from the American Girl company. Another book from them that I like (that is not puberty based but definitely good for this age) is "The Feelings Book" since I noticed she was starting to have wacky mood swings, I'm sure in preparation for puberty in the next few years.

I started when my daughter was 4.

the time for the talk is when they are a toddler....talk to them about YOUR morals and values...lead by example...

With your teenagers - i hope it's not too late!

I would start now. Girls tend to follow their mothers when it comes to puberty though, so that's some good news for you, but I'd still start talking to her about it all, espically since there are some girls that will start at 8 or 9yos. And most likely, there's at least one girl at her school that will start. I know when my daughter was in 4th grade (9 and 10yo) that there was two girls in her class that had their monthlies going. This year in my son's 4th grade class there were a few of the girls that had started developing, but none had yet gotten monthlies.

Book suggestion for you though:
Period.: A Girl's Guide - its a nice little book specific to the ins and outs of the monthly period. Nothing about sex so you don't have to worry about that for the preteen ages.
http://www.amazon.com/Period-Girls-Guide-JoAnn-Loulan/dp/...

With this book the two of you could sit down and read it together. Then she can keep it in her room in case she wants to go back and read some more.
Best wishes.

My older daughter is 8.5, and I bought her the "Care and Keeping of YOU" book. She loves that book! Her little sister wanted to see it, and my older daughter told her, "No, this book is for girls who are starting to get a little older, and need to start taking better care of themselves!" I thought that was cute. Anyway, the book covers all kinds of topics, and periods and developing are just part of what the book talks about, so it doesn't make it seem so "weird." I asked my daughter if she had any questions about any of it, and she said maybe she would have more questions once some of this stuff starts happening to her (which makes sense). She has come to me with questions she has, and I answer in as straightforward a way as I can, without overwhelming her with information. Anyway, if your daughter is a good reader, maybe give her that book, and see what she is curious about once she has had a chance to read some of it. My daughter seemed more interested in the part about shaving her legs than she was about getting her period. I was surprised by that!

Well you could do what I did and bury your head in the sand. Then it happens and she freaks out and cries and ends up sleeping with you that night. I don't suggest that approach.
I dropped the ball with number two, number one had an excellent class for girls at her school, so most of the mystery alleviated. In 5th grade I was homeschooling my 2nd daughter.

THere are so many good books out there. I haven't gotten any, see above. :o) But I should have. I would have gone with a Christian "becoming a woman" book.

I did sit on the bathtub and talk to her and try to waylay any fears she had. We got through the first period and she is now very regular. And it happened with both my girls at 12. I thought it wouldnt' be until 14 or so like me, yeah caught me by bigtime surprise.

You could start by getting her a bra/training bra and have a little lesson on modesty. THen a little later go a bit further with deodarent, washing/personal hygiene. The schools should take care of the actual "class", usually it happens in 4th or 5th grades. The moms should be invited. After that ask pointed questions about what she heard.

And if you do bury your head in the sand it will be OK, she will not be scarred for life. Although you will kick yourself, then sit on a message board and warn other moms not to wait until middle school. :o)

Good luck.

Start now... every woman is different so your daughter may develop faster than you... you never know... my mother put off having the talk with me because she also was 13 when hers happened... so when i finally got my period for the first time i had no idea what was happening and thought i was gonna die...lol... I was 11 and was in school when it happened and had on white pants...i'll never forget how embarrassed i was... don't wait you have the instinct to do it so do....

I remember the school doing a maturation program for us girls entering the 5th and 6th grades, do they not do that anymore (it's definitely been a few years since I was that young)?

Also, I remember being in 7th grade around girls who had started their periods and such so I remember catching on to that whole concept very early especially when my best friend started hers and told me all about it on her front door step. My mother never sat down with me and had any sort of talk and I figured it all out with no issue. Times are different I guess so I'm not sure what 8 yo girls talk about these days, sorry:(

I was just 9 years old the first time I got my period and the oldest of 3 girls. We had a class about it in school but it wasn't until after I got my period, so I knew nothing about yet. It scared the heck out of me and my best friend that was with me when it happened! I remember running into my mothers arms screaming that she needed to call an ambulance so I could go to the hospital because I thought I was bleeding to death! I also remember it took her a long time to calm me down enough to explain what was happening to me. My daughters were a little older when each of them got their periods. One was 12, the 2nd was 13 and the 3rd was almost 16! I had already given each of them a little talk about it and they had taken a class in school already (I think it was in 4 or 5 grade) so they knew pretty much what was happening.

Start out by giving her general information about periods and developing (getting breasts, hair on legs and arm pits, etc). Then let her ask questions. Just don't give her more information then she is really asking for. Listen closely to the questions she asks to figure out how much she really wants to know. But don't "sugar coat" it either. It's important she knows enough to know what to do when it happens (come to you, go to the nurse, whatever, depending on where she is) without getting scared, but you don't want to scare the heck out of her before it happens either. It's a big step in a girls life, make the transition easy for her. Prepare her ahead of time.

I never did "the talk," here it was always an ongoing dialogue. My daughter is 16 now. I would say no older than 9 to start discussing those changes in her body, as at that age, she will start to notice them happening to other girls even if not herself. Also, you being a late bloomer has nothing to do with when it will happen to her, so don't expect that. I was almost 14 when I got my first period, my daughter was 11 1/2. I'm all for the ongoing dialogue method, but also, the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You is an excellent resource for tween girls (but preview first, there's some things that a 9 year old doesn't need yet like how to insert a tampon)
Good luck

My daughter is eight and shows no signs of puberty. So I am thinking of waiting one more summer. She knows that women get there periods every month and cramps. That you have to wear pads. But not the talk that this is how the cycle of life begins.

There's really no reason to delay "the talk", since even if your daughter ends up being a late bloomer, she is sure to notice soon enough, if not already, when her schoolmates start developing. For now, you can just start simple, with discussions on the visibly noticeable aspects of puberty such as breasts, body hair, and body odor, and if she appears interested and wants to find out more, you can take her to the library to find a suitable book for her age group that discusses all aspects of puberty. The librarian and/or the school nurse should be able to help you out with that.

Where we live our daughters are given the lighter side of things (plus a video in 4th or 5th grade provided the parents consent). Although I was 15 when I got my period, my oldest daughter was 11 so I was thankful she had this talk. I didn't wait for the school nurse to give her the shpeel but it did break the ice in a way. Now adays girls are getting their period as young as 8 & 9 so it's hard to say. Best of luck to you.