When Making Kids Pay for Toys Do You Actually Take Money?

Absolutely or why bother? Not big on chores or anything but I really want to teach money management and that's what this is. So give her the money she earned and let her give it back to you. Maybe you can give her $1 extra if she did more and start the whole idea of working and saving.

Yes, take the money. Help her count out the correct amount, particularly if it is all change, and let her see it disappear from whatever amount she has.

Yes...take the money! (When we do this, especially for big ticket items, we often put the cash into his savings account.)

YES!!! You take the money!! This is about standing by your word, in my opinion.

My 14 year old son wants an iPhone. I told him he could have it IF he paid for it. He's putting money in his savings account and watching it. When he takes money out? I remind him that HE WANTED an iPhone. So he sees what he is doing.

Both of my boys have wanted games that I REALLY didn't want to pay for - so I would pay - and when we went to their savings account - we transferred the money over to my account. May sound cold and cruel. But they are learning the value of a dollar and they are learning that what they WANT is NOT free...

It's VERY important to stand by what you say as a parent. This isn't so much about money but about following through on what was agreed upon. If you start being wishy washy with your kids, not following through (or making them follow through), etc. they ultimately have less and less respect for your authority.
So yes, let her pay for the game as was your agreement. If you want to buy her the next game then do so but let her follow through on this, and let her be proud of earning something, that's a GOOD feeling for a child!

Pay up! She'll have the pleasant experience of having earned something for herself. Otherwise, you are just making her jump through hoops.

I know where your husband is coming from, and while it's well-intentioned, it could bite you in the butt. You are setting up a system now: want something, earn for it, pay for it, have it. Don't stymie that system. If it's a gift,then SAY "this is a gift" from the outset. Remember you are setting this up for long-term; if you never take the money, she'll expect that's the norm. She's five-- don't confuse her.

Kiddo has had a few items which we've gone halvsies on with him. (Bigger ticket Lego sets) He's seven. Even at five, he could earn the money up to what he needed, then we matched it and got the item. There is something good about having a goal to earn toward and something instructive about learning that when you spend your money, it's gone.

I would definitely follow through because she did the work with the expectation that she would pay for it. I suspect she will feel a certain pride in handing the money to you and when she plays that game which she brought with HER OWN money. I am a strong believer in 'cost-sharing' (where our kids contribute some money to purchases over the amount I had designated) because it teaches responsibility with money and feeling that those things are actually 'theirs.' You are helping your child develop exactly that.

I would suggest asking her to bring you the money when you go online to purchase the game. That way, she is actually giving it to you, not just having it taken, and she sees the purchase happening, so she has an incentive to give it to you. Now, if you decide you don't want to charge her the full $7 for the game, you can tell her that you and her father have decided to contribute $3 or however much to the purchase as a little gift to her. But I do it's really important that she does contribute to the purchase, even it is only $3 or $4.

Have fun! I enjoy watching my kids exercise their creativity in Minecraft.

You told her she needed to work for it, she did, so she needs to pay for it. Of course you take the money from her. What is that teaching her if you don't? Good luck.

Well, did you pay her? As she did the chores, did you give her money? Then you need to have her pay you back. Otherwise, you are teaching the wrong lesson.

BTW, I just finished this over the weekend with my 8 year old son. He worked over the summer to earn the money for minecraft on his tablet. On Saturday, he counted out that he had the money ($6.99) and we downloaded it after he paid me for the game. He understands that things are not free, that mommy and daddy don't pay for everything and that we have to work to earn money - as does he.

By following through, you are teaching the value of the dollar and of work and of consequences (she can't spend that money again - it is gone).

Have fun! C.

Yes. Wouldn't it defeat e purpose of having her earn something if she just gets it free anyway?

Yes, take it to hold up your end of the bargain. You told her she needed to pay for it. So let her pay for it. Give her pride of ownership and teach her about earning and using money. I have even made my SD pay me back a quarter when she was little. Your DH isn't looking at the bigger lesson.

Yes, take the cash. It's the only was that she will earn that money has to be worked for, and then paid back out for the things we want to buy.

Take the money so that she can better understand it's value. Put it in your vacation fund or her college fund!

Yes, I always take the money-and usually don't even take it, I take them to the store where they give the clerk the money. Or if it's an internet purchase, they watch me do it and give me the money. That way they experience earning the money, and then "losing it". Over time, they realize once they spend money, they have only a little left, etc.

It's fine to give something as a gift, but since it was proposed as "earning the money", give her the reward of actually spending the money she earned.

Yes, I DO take the money, and my son's piggy bank is clear, so he can see how much money he has in his piggy bank at all times, and can see it dwindle.

Absolutely. This is a very valuable learning lesson, don't miss out on it. And encourage her to work just as hard in the future. What she has shown you is that she is a go getter. You could hurt her future if you don't follow thru.

It's never too early to teach the lessons of how money works. She did work and received payment. She wants to purchase something and that costs money. It's no different than her doing chores around the house to buy a doll at the store.

Yes, I take the money. It teaches the kids the value of money quickly. They both now have decided to not buy certain things they want when they realize all they saved will be gone. They have learned to be a little more frugal and make smarter purchases.

Yes you take the money. She needs to understand the value of "money" and the value of hard work. Not easy tasks to teach kids nowadays.

Job well done for you and your daughter!

I normally take my son to the store and have him pay for it at the register or have him put the money on a gift card (say like Amazon) if it's somehing he wants onlne and the use the gift card.....

i'm not sure what issue your husband considers is being pushed here. the terms were explained, your daughter accepted them, and fulfilled her end of the bargain. i think this is exemplary parenting.
khairete
S.

You respected her work by arranging for tasks and paying for them. Now respect her sense of accomplishment by having her pay for her game. In my opinion, you are not taking her money. You are having her pay for a game she chose.

And if you are going to continue paying her for chores, may I suggest an old-fashioned way of paying her? As you pay, have her "bank" the money with you in a ledger of her own. (No computer spreadsheet. Needs to be tangible.) The ledger has 6 columns. Date, money earned, total not spent, expenses, savings, and donations. As money is earned have her record the date and amount. As she spends it, have it subtracted in the leger. She can choose to start savings of a certain amount each week. And she can consider donating to church, local charities. All my best.

My boys get paid allowance for helping around the house, when they want to spend it on an app they ask first, and then pay me and I purchase it for them. If it is an app I want to buy for them as a gift then I do, but I don't tell them they have to buy it and then not collect, that would be confusing I think.

I make my kids pay for the things they save up for. They want to pay because they are proud of having saved up. For apps they buy themselves iTunes cards and use those to purchase their own apps. I would suggest that you do not take the money from her, but allow her to actually pay for the item at the store herself. It will be easier for her to part with the money that way and she will learn a skill.

Yes, show her how hard it is to earn a $1. and what it really equates to.. Very impt lesson.

Good luck

I absolutely make my kid pay up! How else will he learn the value of money? If he spends it on something, then he has to wait and earn more before he can have something else. I always take it and put it in the household petty cash jar. Petty cash is also change found around the house, in pockets, or in the dryer. We usually end up taking petty cash and doing a fun family activity, so it's not like I am personally pocketing it. :)

It's unanimous! That almost never happens. And yes, I agree with everyone else.

I actually have a ledger book where I keep track of the money our kids earn at the restaurant and cash/check gifts they receive that I deposit into our account and the money that they spend out of it. For instance, two of our teens that have cell phones are expected to pay the monthly bill for it, so instead of just giving them their pay, I add it to the ledger and subtract the amount of their cell bill from it once a month. (Our oldest in school out of town and we pay his bill as part of our agreement with him, and he keeps his grades up.)

When they want a PS3 game, I pay for it online for them. Basically, I am the Bank of Mom - the money is kept in one place but is kept separate on paper. When they were little, I did actually take the cash from them but did not add it to a "family vacation fund" or anything since that's not what we are trying to teach them. You earn money, you spend it, and then it's not there anymore. I don't understand the concept of making her pay for it, then having her benefit from the money she spent in another way, that would be like giving her double the money for the job she did.

I make my son pay me in cash from his piggy bank. If he just earned or received money, we would help him count out the amount of the item he wants or I purchased that he wanted. It helps them learn the value of money, helps them count,etc.

My son is also 5 and gets a nominal allowance ($0.50 per week) to start to learn money management. I figure if he saves up two weeks, he can buy a candy bar and that's about as much responsibility as he can probably handle. He actually saved it up (ignored it) for quite a while and had $5-7 in his piggy bank when he decided he wanted a souvenir from a trip to DC (this was about 8 weeks ago now). They had these colorful animals made out of old recycled flip-flops that were pulled out of the ocean. He really wanted an elephant, but they cost $16 and he didn't have nearly enough in his piggy bank. I talked to him a little about how that was more than he had and it was more than mommy and daddy could spend on his souvenir. It's not like he could save up his money and come back for it afterward, so we made a deal that he would give us all the money in his piggy bank, and we'd have him pay some more to cover the cost. He got his elephant and was THRILLED. He even built it a little house in his room out of some of our building toys.

A few days later, I made up a chart with $16 dollar bill pictures, and each dollar bill has two boxes on it. I showed him crossing off $5 - the amount mommy and daddy put towards his elephant. Then I showed him crossing off the amount in his piggy bank. Since then, every Sunday he crosses off one box and sees his payment plan nearing an end. He hasn't complained about all of his allowance for 2 months (will be 3 by the end) disappearing before he gets it. He has asked a couple of times about what happens after he crosses off all the dollars, and seemed excited to learn that he'd start getting money again after it was paid off. I'm glad the chart is really visual, it helps him to see how much money is left and how many weeks he still has to pay. As we get closer and closer to paid off, he likes to tell me how many more dollars are left (math lesson!). I wasn't planning on giving him a lesson in credit/debt repayment at this age, but I think it's been good for him to see a little of how owing money means you don't have money to spend NOW. In fact he's done such a good job that I keep being tempted to just forgive the rest of the loan, even though he hasn't been complaining or asking for that. I won't, because it would mess with the math he's been doing every week, and he wouldn't get the opportunity to experience that satisfaction of making the last few payments and paying off a debt.

All of that to say that your daughter should give you the money and see the process of exchanging her money for your purchase of a game. These transactions are such good lessons about money management. I also strongly agree with the people who say that pride of accomplishment for buying her own game will be great for her! My son's toy elephant still lives in his room and is played with frequently TWO MONTHS later. I have to wonder if I'd just handed him the toy with no payment on his part if it would mean as much to him.

We never actually handed them the cash, just the item they wanted to earn. So yeah, they never got cash and a prize, that would make it pointless.

Yes i take the money when you go to the shop and they take the money foe the first time you may have a tantrum and then what are you going to do. How is she going to learn the value of money if you do not take it( the money). At firts i also did not want to take the money they worked hard for it but they also wanted whatever and so te teach life you need to ask for the cash

YES. My daughter had birthday money and wanted to buy Minecraft. my husband took her to target to get an itunes gift card. Since there is not a $7 itunes card hubs made up the difference and just bought some songs for himself. But my daughter paid for it.

I keep an account on the front of the fridge. If she earns money for something specific it goes on that tally. There is no money changing hands.

Allowance is another thing. They can spend it on what they want. If they want to buy a game they buy it themselves.

My kids save money from birthdays and whatnot, plus they get an allowance in exchange for meeting certain requirements. They use their own money to pay for things they want. In the case of needing me to use my PayPal or credit card account to pay for a download, I do take cash in exchange.

Ask your daughter, "Do you still want Minecraft? It will cost $7, which you earned. If you'd rather keep the money and not get the game, that is okay too." Let her decide. The cash-in-hand might be more appealing than the game. This is an important life-lesson moment.

For future times, when she is working towards a specific purchase, you could just pay her with the game/item upon completion of the jobs.