My little one has their VPK graduation (preschool) on the same night as my middle schooler has the finals of her rec basketball league. They are at the same time, so we can't do both. The VPK graduation is obviously more important and the family will be going to that, but should I allow the older child to play in the finals and miss the graduation, or have them attend the VPK graduation with the rest of the family.
Each child attended their event with a parent and the events were videotaped. The graduation was very cute and the basketball game was exciting, unfortunately my daughter's team lost by three points. Everything worked out well.
One parent goes to one and one parent goes to another. If you have extended family nearby (grandparents, aunts uncles etc) get them to help attend both events too. Then everyone meets up afterwards at whichever event is not over yet, and goes out for ice cream or something.
Is VPK a preschool graduation? Or elementary?
Because to be honest....the one graduation that matters is when a child is 18. Sorry, I know it means the world to your little one right now, but the finals mean the world to your older child too.
You will have loads of these mini-"graduations" to attend and they will conflict with other things in the future. Your older child has worked hard to get to the finals of a sport she values and your older child also will be much more aware than your younger one that she is being slighted if she is told, "You must miss the event for which you have cumulatively worked, over many months, to attend a preschool event."
I would undoubtedly let the older child play in her finals and definitely would have one of you parents attend the finals too. One of you goes to the graduation, the other to the final. You cannot all be at every event, and it is not required that both parents and every sibling attend every event; tag-team this and let one parent do each. But if you ask the older child to forego her finals -- well, it smacks of telling her, "Your commitment to your team, and your work over months of time, doesn't really count as much as this other event that will be happening again, by the way." Your younger child will be fine if sister does not come, but your older child will sit through the younger one's graduation hurt and fuming and feeling she has let down her entire team. And resenting her little sister, too.
You CAN do both if you just send one parent to each event. This is going to come up again and again so now's the time to set expectations with yourselves and your kids about this: The whole family does not have to do everything together unless it's a truly life-changing rite of passage. It's the only way you will keep your kids from resenting each others' activities.
I can't imagine not doing both. One child should not have to do without for another one.
We would decide who would go to which one and just do that. If it were a sports thing then hubby would most likely go to that and I would do the graduation. As soon as one is over they join the other one where ever that is.
I would let the older child play. Whatever VPK graduation is it probably isn't important to the older child and she might resent her younger sibling and/or you if she can't play. I would let her play.
I don't see how VPK is "obviously" more important. Your middle schooler has worked hard to get to the finals with her team. As Dawn and Leigh have said, It's a great accomplishment for her AND her team...and for her not to go is definitely letting her team down. Your little one will have lots of other "graduations" to go to.
Obviously, it would be ideal if your family could split attendance between the 2 events. But in either case, I wouldn't keep the older one from her game.
I have no idea what VPK graduation is. I ask because it may be obviously more important to you but... I mean you say the middle school child is older and until high school there isn't any real graduations celebrated.
I cannot see any valid reason on earth that a child should miss finals for whatever sport for any graduation.
Definitely let your older child play. She or he has a responsibility to the team. If you truly believe that family ALWAYS supercedes sports, then don't put your kids on league teams. It isn't fair to all the other kids.
I would drop him or her off, go to the preschool graduation, and then come watch the rest of the game. Perhaps you can even watch some of the game beforehand, depending on the time element.
Dawn
Can you ask your older child? Can the family split up to attend both? When my kids have things that clash, we all split up so people have every opportunity to see child A, B, or C in whatever they are doing.
I fail to see how VPK graduation is more important. She goes onto Kindergarten whether or not she gets up and sings the songs with everyone else.
Your middle schooler worked hard to get into the finals and as a team sport and being a member of a team she has made a committment. The middle schooler should at least be allowed to go to the game without you if you really feel a VPK "graduation ceremony" is so important. Though, I'd be willing to bet the same thing will happen next year - kindergarten graduation - she'll get up in front of all the parents and sing a bunch of songs.
Definately let your middle schooler play basketball. They worked hard all year and made it to the finals. Besides, their team is counting on them too. Preschool graduation is a big deal, but so is making it to the finals for basketball.
I just have to know, what is VPK?
I agree with Leah M. word for word. There's no reason you can't do both.
