So, today, we had court to LOWER child support. My EH wanted a condition of communication from me so I can tell him personally how much is needed to help support our child. There is a no contact order in place. The judge said you don't sound you want the divorce and you can't make that a condition. He said, well....
The judge started pressing him about his job situation. Why the support amounts keep fluctuating. It took all the masking tape on the planet to keep my mouth shut!
Today is the first day I cried in court. I wasn't boo-hooing my dignity away, but I shed some tears through a crackling voice explaining to the judge the hardship, stress, burden of being a single married mom fighting tooth, nail, fingertips away trying to stay above board while he tries to avoid his responsibility.
The judge said, I understand you need something consistent. I replied softly, yes. It felt good to release tears of frustration. I am tired of the process but I will not sit down on the matter. I've committed all of my resources to caring for our child and have not a dime to spare at month's end.
So the CS will factor in child care and he has to pay for uninsured medicals. That was a welcome relief, but I wonder how long before his next sob story about child support.
It's so unfortunate my punishment for leaving a detrimental situation is going to ultimately affect our child. Not if I can help it. I have no choice but to work a second job to see that doesn't happen.
But when does it ever end? I did not take him to court to lower support. He always takes me in to lower the support. I simply show up.
I decided I will NOT attend anymore hearings for child support. If he wants to lower to zilch, so be-it. This back and forth nonsense is taking up too much good space.
Unfortunately for you, child support modifications rarely end until college support is furnished. But it can work in your favor sometimes in the cases of higher income received by the payer. Good luck.
It will end when one of two things happen: 1) your child turns 18; or 2) he stops paying support and you stop taking him to court.
That's the only way I see this ending. Unfortunately, only the fights about money will end then. Fights about all the rest of the stuff will continue into your child's adulthood. Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news.
Oh F.-
I send cyber hugs to you.
My divorce was final in 2005...
I still find myself in court regarding support issues...every year or so. (and yes, it is when 'he' tries to get a modification (lower) that I appear...)
**sigh**
I can only recommend that you hold your head high...and suffer through.
For what it is worth, my kiddos, albeit older, have the 'exes' number...both literally AND figuratively. It has taken the 'tincture' of time...but let me say that this past father's day was no doubt a VERY lonely day for him.
They had his number...and chose not to call him...
I send you strength...and the knowledge...that a CONSISTENT parent...with love and positive guidance...irrespective of the $$ issues...always comes out on top!
(our home was foreclosed on due to the exes non support payments BTW).
My kiddos ARE STELLAR...and the ex gets little credit for that...IMO.
Hang in there!
michele/cat
My ex knows he got a good deal in the support department. Funny thing is now he could actually go to court and get it lowered but he is too scared to.
So I guess it ends when he accepts he won't be successful.
I am so sorry! My sis is going through the same thing. It SUCKS when one parent gives "whatever, whenever" and the other parent gives 110%. I know in my sister's situation it will never end! It sucks being the reliable/responsible one, but your child is so lucky to have you!!
