I totally understand where you are coming from. When my daughter was 7 months old, we found out that we were expecting again! And if you do the math, you get 15, yup, 15 months apart. (Well little Nicholas was 2 weeks early, so their not quite 15 months, but I like to think they are!) Anyway, after getting over the shock and the "What are we going to do now" factor, we realize that this was what God had wanted to happen. Anyway, back to your question, bed/crib situation. I too thought that I would keep my son in his bassinet in our room until he was 3 months or so and then have transitioned my daughter from her crib into the toddler bed and our son could have the crib! Not so!! We wound up getting another crib at a consignment sale and he started using that at about 3 months old. (Our daughter was not in anyway ready to switch at 18 months!) So in our attempt to move furniture around and make things compatible, we bought a toddler bed, also at a consignment sale, and put it in her room. We did this before her little brother arrived, again with the hopes that by the time she was 18 months and he was 3 months old, we could do the switch!) Initially we put stuffed animals and dolls on the bed and we would sit there during the day and read books. This way she could get use to the idea of sleeping in it at some point. I would tell her to lay down on the bed, to "take a nap" on the bed, but I didn't push the issue. I knew the time would come. So one night, as we were reading our nightly stories, and she was sitting on the bed, I said "Ok, night night, time to turn off the light and go to sleep." And she said ok, and laid down on the pillow on her toddler bed. She was 20 months old!! I was shocked, scared, amazed and quickly realized my little girl was growing up before my eyes! She did sleep in her bed that night, with no problems. We only had one night since that night that she was gave us problems and we put her back in the crib. Naps during the day were a bit more challenging, but we kept trying and she slowly got use to the idea of sleeping in her bed and we just took down the crib two weeks ago.
Now you're probably wondering about safety and stairs and such....well I didn't want to put a gate in front of her door, but I do have a gate at the top of the stairs. Now granted, we have a small house, 3 bedrooms upstairs, a bathroom and a laundry room. All the rooms are baby proofed and at night I make sure the bathroom door, the laundry room door are all closed. There are locks on the doors in our bathroom and our closet doors are always shut. She goes to sleep at about 8/8:30 when everything is done and she stays in bed until 7 the next morning. She's as quiet as a mouse when she wakes up and the first thing she does is take her dolls and whatever book it is she wants and comes into our room and wakes me up and hands me her book and doll and wants me to pick her up and read to her. She has only just figured out how to climb up on our bed and can do that by herself. So I scoot over and sometimes she lies down with me as I slowly wake up. Sometimes I read or sing or talk to her and other mornings she "reads" to me.
So with all that, your son will make the change when he is ready. At 21 months when your new child arrives, I would slowly try to transition him. If you are going to keep your other child in your bedroom for the first few months you may be lucky in getting your older son to sleep elsewhere. But I've always heard that boys tend to be a bit slower than girls in doing different things. But if you're in the C. area and would like a inexpensive and in very good condition, but slightly used crib, please contact me and we would love to sell it to you. It's just sitting in the garage right now, it's been taken apart, but it's all there. Hope that helps!! Also look for big consignment sales around town. Again if you're in teh C. area, there is a big one in Mathews at Matthews United Methodist Church this Saturday, the 15th from 8-3 (half off on certain items from 1-3). That is where we got both our cribs as well as TONS of other baby/toddler stuff!!
Enjoy!!
A.
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