When Did Your Child Give up Their "Lovie" and How Did You Do It?

I don't understand - why can't they have their lovie? I would never, ever take my kids' away (I still have my own teddy bear!) Just tell her she has to leave it in her bedroom so it will be safe.

We didn't have thumb sucking to deal with, so I don't have any advice. But I wouldn't try to take away two comfort behaviors at one time.

Well, we haven't given ours up yet - my son is also 3 1/2. We do have a very strict rule that lovies are only for in the house, and really just for in bed. "blue lovie" never gets to go out with us. We don't have a thumb-sucker, so I'm not sure what to tell you about that. But for now, I feel content to keep the lovie at home/in bed only - as far as I'm concerned as long as it's limited, there's no hurry to give it up.

C.,

We have lovies, but not the thumb sucking issue? Maybe you can suggest to your daughter or the "fairy" can send her a note, that it's really about the thumb sucking.

I think lovies are important to children just as us grownups have our favorite sweatshirts or "ugly/sick" clothes. Kids need something to cuddle with when they are stressed, sick or upset.

It doesn't sound like you object to the lovie either. (After about age 2-3 we "made" our kids keep their blankets/favorite stuffed animal in their rooms. They are not allowed to drag it out of the house.)

If the thumb sucking is really the issue, then I'd tackle that one...especially since it's linked to dental issues.

I'd start slow. Like every day/night she doesn't thumb suck she can "earn" a sticker or M&M. 10 stickers earn her something like a new coloring book or such. Maybe for you, a full chart (month) of no more thumb sucking earns her a 'big girl' reward of a new costume?

Let us know how it goes. Good luck.

Sara

Never! She's almost 20 and stills has it. she gave of thumbsucking around 6.

wow... I am going thru the exact same thing. My son (who will be 5 in January) sucked his thumb with his lovie all the time, my daughter who just turned 3 does the same with hers I tried every trick in the book (outside the lovie fairy) to get my son to stop. They both see the dentist several times a year and she had asked if I had any concerns, I told her that I was concerned about his thumb sucking. Well, while he was being examined, she told him that if he stops by the next appointment, he would be able to pick out 2 toys from the treasure chest. Now, I tried doing this too, but it never worked for me.

Well, when he came out, he was all excited and said that he would stop sucking his thumb so he can get 2 prizes. When we got into the car (yeah, they both have one in the car too), he said he'd just hold it and not suck his thumb. I said fine.

That night, he sucked his thumb with it, but the very next day, he said he'd just sleep with it and not suck it. He did just that, the very next day he said he didn't need it at all.

a week before his next dentist appointment, I called and spoke to a staff memeber and told her how well he did and to please tell the dentist. She said she would mark his chart, but she said she'd call and leave a voicemail for my son. She did just that (it's been over 6 months since he stopped sucking his thumb) and he was thrilled to hear someone outside the family tell him just how proud they were of him. We still have the message and from time to time, he will ask to hear it again. When he does, he just beams.

Now, my stubbron 3 year old daughter, wants nothing to do with getting 2 prizes, candy, nothing. She just says she wants her lovie and that's it. Now, she already has an overbite (she sucks her thumb much harder than my son did). She just went to the doctor's the other day and I asked her if she can talk to my daughter about it and the doctor told her that there are lots of germs and she'd get sick. Well, all my daughter said was "no, i have to wash my hands every time before I suck my thumb, so it is clean and I wont get sick". The doctor was in shock and then looked at her finger and showed her 2 little lines and said these little lines are from you having your thumb in your mouth and the lines can easily open up and you will bleed. My daughter replied by saying it didn't bleed yet.

Now, her daycare provider has taken her lovie away and my son said Caitlyn sucks her thumb at naptime every day (something I really want to stop). So, right now, I don't think it's time, but when it is time, I think the lovie fairy will have to stop by for a visit or I will have to put Malva nail stop (it's terrible tasting nail polish from www.whatshebuys.com).

We tried telling her when she turned 3 she'd have to give it up on the day of her birthday she was sad and said she didn't want it to be her birthday. When I told her we'd wait to take it away, she gave me the biggest smile and hugged me like she never did. She was so happy that day.

Good luck!

HI C.,

I have a son who once would suck his thumb anytime he had his lovie. The two things went hand in hand. So... I totally understand where you're coming from. He would not suck his thumb when he held his other stuffed animals... only his light blue teddy bear would make him be a thumbsucker!

Starting about 18 months, we only allowed him to have his lovie when he slept. At two in a half,he was still sucking his thumb when he was put down for a nap or bedtime. I thought it looked so cute but I was told that it could effect his speech. (Turns out he has been seeing a speech therapist at school since he was in kindergarten. He is in 2nd grade now.) Anyway... I don't know for sure if the thumbsucking contributed to the speech delays. I just thought I'd tell you.

So... here's the story I told my twins when they were a few months shy of their third birthday.... I told them that there were some babies at the hospital who REALLY, REALLY would feel happy to receive their lovies. I am not quite sure what else I said, but I convinced them without any tears. I said that the hospital could not find any like their lovies and the babies really wanted that kind. My kids are very kind and I stressed how sweet and caring that they are and that it would be such a wonderful thing for them to donate them to the babies.

I was shocked that they eagerly put their lovies in a box for me to "deliver" them to the hospital. I secretly stored them away in the house in case I would need to retrieve one or both of them. My son was so attached to it at night and it baffled me that the first night went smoothly without it. He talked about his lovie for the first 2 weeks after he "donated" it, but without tears. I kept stressing what a kind, generous boy he was to give it up so that a baby at the hospital could be happy. I am happy to say that the day he "donated" his lovie was the last day he sucked his thumb.

Well... about 8 months went by and I took the lovies out of storage. My mom thought I was crazy for doing such a thing because she said, "He is definetley going to go back to sucking his thumb now. I don't know why you did that." But... I missed seeing him cuddle his special teddy bear/his lovie. And I felt he wouldn't go back to sucking his thumb,I thought that that habit had been eliminated.

Well... I was right! I told him the hospital was done with it and the babies were now better. He still sleeps with his lovie and he is almost 8 yrs. old. (My daughter was happy that the babies didn't need hers anymore either. =)Although she was not a thumbsucker but I felt I had to include her in my plan to make it work.

I hope my story will help you in some way in eliminating your daughter's thumbsucking.

Good luck,

J.