When Did You Stop Carrying Your Child's Things for Them?

I made my kids carry bags, backpacks, equipment for sports. I am not a work horse by no means. They do need to do it, get used to it. NOt a mean mom at all!!!

My son was carrying his own bag in preschool. He also brings his own laundry down from his room and to the basement.

My 4 year old independant miss has always wanted to carry her own bag with her own stuff. At 2 or so I got her a tiny bag and she would carry her water bottle around. Now she has her backback for camp and I am typically not ALLOWED :) to carry it. The only exception is if she is tired. Then she wants me to carry her bag and her!

I guess that as soon as she wanted to help - around 2 I think - I would always pack a light grocery bag etc. so she coud help. After awhile it became habit for her to help carry stuff when she is around to do it.

Good luck!

No, you are not mean. You are doing your son a favor, expecting him to be responsible for his own belongings.

At my son's preschool, when they were three, the teachers implored the parents to stop carrying the children's bags into the preschool for them and to let them get ready for school on their own. As a preschool teacher myself, I embraced this and we have continued this. (However, there were a lot of parents who still hauled those tote bags in for their kids... I imagine that their kids will grow to expect it.)

We just bought Kiddo's backpack for kindergarten, and I'm very sure he's not going to let me carry it, since he picked it out and loves it.,,and I wouldn't do it anyway!

Nope! My son carried his backpack at 3.

His SNOWBOARD, on the other hand, at 9, he was still grumbling about carrying. Dude. It's YOUR board. But, but, but....

Um, I make my kids (4 and 2) get and handle their own stuff - within reason - already. I stopped playing "mommy fetch" as soon as they could understand what I was talking about.

Ex: "take your cup with you upstairs"
Ex: "go get your blanket"
Ex: "You take your car with you if you want it"...

Part of this is because I'm lazy. I'll admit that.
But I grew up with a mother that's had everything "handled" for her her entire life, and it drove me nuts growing up.
I simply refuse to teach my kids anything other than being self sufficient.
It's a sore spot for me.

Ha!
So funny. Yes, it is an adjustment, isn't it? I probably stopped doing the backpack carry thing when I started making grocery store stops on the way home. When we got home, I was emptying the back of the car.... they could get their own backpacks b/c my hands were FULL.

Even now, my 11 yr old daughter will shove her karate bag at me after class sometimes, thinking I will "accept" it and carry it to the car for her. It isn't heavy, but it IS bulky, and she has to stop in the ante room and get her shoes on. BUT, I just refuse to "take/accept" it from her and get one of those surprise/stunned looks on my face, and say "Why are you shoving that at ME?" If she ASKS me politely, I don't mind. But just shoving it at me? No way.

I'd try that with your son. See what happens. And yes, he can help carry in groceries. In another year (maybe 2 if he is on the smaller side) he'll be carrying your kitchen garbage out to the outside trash. :)

I am a bit taken aback that his FRIENDS expected you to carry their stuff. That would put me off. Way off. Ummmm NO. My response (when they stuck their pack out at me) would be, "oh, YOU can carry it" with a big smile of "encouragement" and then turn away. LOL

I'm actually shocked when I'm at the school and see all the parents walking home carrying their kids backpacks. Um, they are backpacks, THEY are supposed to be carrying them! They are only walking home, not cross country! And they haven't been carrying them all day!

Now, I do feel a little sorry for my 7th grader who started school yesterday. She doesn't have a locker and has 7 different classes so her backpack is HEAVY.

My kids have always helped bring in groceries too. They may grumble about it, but they do it. =)

They started carrying their own things as soon as they could. I don't remember ever carrying one of their back packs. Sounds like your son has a case of the "spoiled". You need a good "Mom Look", something that stops them in their tracks and makes them shut up at the sight of it, a look that says, "argue with me now, and pay for it later" and "your actions are unacceptable and will stop immediately." All of my kids know my Mom Look, even some of the neighbor kids do, too :D

Well if your mean, then I must be unbearable. My son is also six. He has to carry his own backpack every day and remember to put his lunch in it. I will carry if for him if he's riding his scooter, because it throws him off balance. Otherwise it's up to him. When we visit the library he has a bag he carries. If it's too heavy, then he has too many books. And even my three year old helps unload the groceries!

You're not mean at all. I've had each of my children carry their own things from preschool age onward. Now granted my 5 year old autistic son fights me on it some days but he's even realized I will NOT carry his things for him when he is perfectly capable of doing it himself. Do I often help either my 5 or 8 year old with things occasionally? Sure but they both know I will not carry their items be it their backpack or blanket. My 8 year old has been carrying groceries since she was 3 albeit light ones though these days she has some strength and can carry just as much as I do some days.

My boy is 6 and going into first grade too.
He carry's the trash to the trash can (about 2 blocks away) and the recycle. He cleans the bathroom (toilet, sink, tub, trash, floor). He takes the groceries upstairs (with his brother) when I come home from the store. He also puts all his dirty clothes in the hamper and puts all his clothes away when they are clean. If your son thinks you are mean he would think I am unbearable.
I have never carried his backpack! Even in preschool. Your son is just trying to see if you will give in. Don't! He's plenty big enough and strong enough to do the things you are asking of him.
L.

I never carried their backpacks for them. Ever.

well, better late than never.
fortunately for my older son, i had a baby when he was 4 so he spent the next several years of his childhood helping me carry diaper bags and all the baby paraphernalia that babies require. but even before that i'm pretty sure he carried his own little backpack to daycare.
keep a sense of humor and don't back down!
:) khairete
S.

My son carried his preschool backpack at age 3, it was always just part of the routine.
He's 4 now, when we go to the beach I make it his responsibility to carry his small bag of sand toys. If he gets upset, I say well then we don't have to bring it. I don't give in here because I've got my hands full with everything else and he's perfectly capable of carrying it.
I would explain to your 6 year old that part of becoming a 1st grader is carrying your own backpack.

I think I made my children start carrying things at age 3. My oldest 3 (ages 3, 5, 7) all carry their own book bags. The older two carry all of their own sports equipment. The 3 year old will usually carry in one bag of groceries, but the older two basically get the rest after I grab what I can. I even had to travel with those three by myself before (so I had lugguge, carryons, and car seats) and my then-6-year-old took care of the large lugguage bag and my then 4-year-old took charge of the carry-on.

My 3 year old still whines about being helpful and independent - but she's whiny.

I've had friends kids that will whine and look at me like I'm crazy when I expect them to carry their own things. One child told me he couldn't carry his baseball equipment and his water bottle and his lunch, and my reply was "well, then I guess you'll be making extra trips back and forth to get it all" - he managed to carry it all in one trip perfectly fine.

So, short answer - your expectations are completely reasonable.

Kindergarten, totally done holding or carrying anything. From that time on she always had some sort of backpack. I did not carry or drinks.. nothing.

My almost 13 year old daughter always carried her backpack herself. I really can't remember ever carrying it for her. Aren't most kids excited about carrying their backpack?

No, you're not. I don't remember what age it was, but somewhere in the 6-7 range I would tell SD that if she brought toys, or a bag or a purse, they were hers to carry. I'd stick little things in my purse, but I wasn't hauling her stuff around. My mom said the same thing to me when I was a kid. It's like you get rid of the diaper bag and start to juggle everything else. A backpack for a first grader shouldn't be too heavy for him to carry.

For DD, I started earlier (I got her earlier). My DD loved wearing her backpack last summer b/c when we traveled everyone had to haul their own carry on and that was hers. She wanted to be like us. So is there anybody he admires that carries his own gear? ;)

If not, just be matter of fact. "Either you carry your own pack or...." Consequence could be that he doesn't get to take so much stuff, has to go home and take a nap since he's soooo tired, etc.

I guess i will have to get back to you in a few years for an honest answer to this question. i stood tonight at football gear pickup with 2 sets of shoulder pads, pants, helmets and papers in hand, wondering why i was carrying everything unlike all the other parents. except they only had one child to take care of and i had two.

Funny you ask. Just today , my 2 year old & I went to other kids football practice. I brought his backpack that had his dinner, toys ... It was loaded . He wanted to carry it, I helped put it on his back & I had to catch him, he fell over backwards, from the weight. Poor guy, he tried.

My youngest has been carrying his own backpack (into and out of daycare) since he was two. I swear the backpack was bigger than him but he has always been Mr. "MY do MYSELF!!" I realized then that my other kids could have started much younger. Your son is plenty old enough for this by several years. Tell him that if he wants to act like a baby and have you carry things that you'll treat him like a baby.

My DD is 2, and carries her own things (within reason...) if we don't have the stroller.She always wants to carry a bag in from the grocery store (I make a point to put something non-breakable and light in a bag, just for her to carry in.) She also helps me carry the big laundry basket from my room, and will carry 'her' laundry basket to the laundry room on her own.

Of course, she is a little carrier. That's just her personality. She actually gets mad if other people are carrying things, and she doesn't get anything. lol.!

As soon as I ditched the diaper bag for a particular child, I stopped carrying their things. Once in a while they still stick small items in my purse, but as long as it's not heavy or large and not noticeable, I don't care too much. When it gets noticeable I tell them I'm going to charge rent and chores for taking up space in my purse. :-)

No, you aren't mean! Thats where the phrase "pull your own weight" comes from. (Just kidding) But really...they need to learn how to do these things on their own. I have my daughter carry her backpack unless it is just too darn heavy. Last week I took my kids swimming to someones house and packed my little boys' backpack with a towel and a swim diaper. He is almost 2. I put that thing on his back and the poor little guy fell on his butt! Oh well, live and learn for everyone. Next time tell your little man you cannot buy certain things (ahem...the types of things he really likes) unless he helps to carry them in. Sounds familiar. They all just want a free ride, don't they?!

Both of my children ages 3 and 4 (in a week) have had their own small backpacks for over a year and carry their own stuff. They also help bring groceries in the house and take out the trash (and like it). I refuse to have the lazy kid that isnt ready and willing to help out when asked, when my kids are asked to help with something they jump up and get to it. =0)

You mean I'm supposed to stop?

Since we've had to pay for an airline ticket starting at age 2, both my kids (now 2.5 and 5.5) have had to carry their own "pack pack" with their own toys onto the airplane. Granted, the backpacks have wheels as well as straps, but it's still expected of them.

That being said, both my kids are also expected to help carry the groceries in from the car. My daughter gets the lightest bags being only 2.5, while my son LOVES to help carry the heaviest of the bags (that I feel comfortable giving him, of course). I'm sure there are plenty of parents who think I expect too much of my kids, including the fact that they are solely responsible for cleaning up their toys each night and helping take out the recycling and garbage, but I firmly believe in teaching our children responsibility in a non-threatening, sometimes fun way.

This question is coming into play now that my son has started hockey. For now, he's only responsible for his stick, but only because his equipment bag is so large (not because it's too heavy). That will change if he sticks with hockey.

One thing that has worked for us is to use a little competition. If you son has a competitive streak like mine does, using a timer or "hey I'm gonna win!" usually works :) Yes, we still have our struggles, and we do have days that are WAY harder than others, but consistency is also very important, as is flexibility.

Kids will play the 'blame game' if you let them. Just don't let it get to you.