When Did You Feel Ready for Second Baby? (General Question)

Wow-are you reading my mind? My daughter is 18 months and we're talking about another one this fall-I have to address some health issues first.

I'm having the same questions. I adore my daughter and wonder how I can split my attention and love between two children. How do I give both what they need without taking anything away?

I never really felt ready but knew I wanted another at sometime. We finally just decided not to "not try" and it happened right away. Even as I went through the start of the pregnancy I'd ask myself what I was thinking. Eventually I started to get back into enjoying being pregnant and now I wouldn't change a thing! Now I have 2 awesome boys and can't imagine my life without the second.

I have one, she's almost 15 yrs, and I have never wanted another.

When the pregnancy test showed positive, and then I miscarried. That miscarriage was my defining moment in that yeah, I did want a second kid.

I didn't plan any of my pregnancies. My kids are 5 1/2 yrs apart almost to the day. So every 6m I get to have a birthday party!! For M. the age difference is perfect as my oldest went to Kindergarten while I was on maternity leave. The bus came to the house, so as long as I got him out the door on time, I didn't even have to get dressed. I could focus on just my baby and M. during the day, and then when he got home in the afternoon, hubby was home shortly after so I had little double teaming for the first few months.

BTW: My sis and I are 12y apart. My brother and I are 15y apart. Same parents.

M.

My hubby always wanted 2-4 kids. I always wanted one. I am am only child, own my own business, am a chiropractor (take care of people all day long) and don't handle stress very well. We had our son Feb 2007. I had suffered severe depression during the pregnancy and had a very bad break down after James was born. I would say after about 4 months old...I was thinking I should really have the second child (for my hubby) soon. Well...needless to say...we never had another one....THANKS GOODNESS! I would say my hubby was wishing for a second baby up to about 3.5 years old then he came to M. and said he was accepting that we did not have another. James is 4.5 now. I can't say I EVER wanted a second child...but I know I was tempted to make my hubby happy very early in James' life. But....now that he is 4.5...I would have to say...I would NOTwant to add a baby. Things are just starting to get easier. My fear for you is that if you wait til 5-6 years old...you may think the same thing. I truly believe you have to do what your heart and body says. I can tell you our household family motto is "One and done"! We are very happy with our family of 3! Good luck!

I have three with less two years between each of them. I was pregs when my first turned one. I was really nervous, I had this great little boy and you have bond and you wonder how you could love another as much. I can tell you, it is easy! Then the third came and everything fell in line. Yes, things can be chaotic, but it is chaotic with one, two and three. I thought I would keep the chaos together, if it is going to be busy, I might as well get it done at the same time. Now - My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 2 1/2 with a 4 year old in the middle - my greatest pleasure is just watching them interact and play together, there is something truly amazing and perfect about it.

I never wanted a second, even though I loved being pregnant. One was the plan. I had already raised two stepchildren, who were 17 and 19 when my daughter was born. I was also 41 when she was born, so that helped with the decision. I can't imagine my life with two, as our options and choices and finances would be limited. My daughter sometimes wishes for a sibling, but is great at playing with friends. And now she has two nieces (7 and 2) and a nephew (5) to play with!

My three siblings and I were all born within 4 1/2 years! Growing up on a farm would have been worse with no siblings, but now as adults our relationships aren't particularly close. No problems, we just went our own ways.

Never. One and done. DS is 5-1/2 now and I still cannot imagine him having to share M. and DH with another child. He has never asked for a sibling - I don't think it ever occurred to him that it would be possible.

I knew I wanted them to be close, but not too close in age. My middle brother was almost 3 years older and we had so much fun growing up. My othest brother is 8 years older than M. and 5 years older then my middle brother. We have never been as close with him as we are with eachother. He was the only child and grandchild for 5 years until my middle brother came along and he had (and still does) a hard time dealing with that change in attention.
Anyways, my husband and I knew we wanted our kids to be 2-3 years apart. So we were going to try the summer my oldest turned 2. Well, that spring we weren't being careful and got pregnant right away. We had another boy and they are 2 1/2 years apart. They will be 2 grades apart in school and I couldn't be any happier! They are buddies already and it warms my heart to see them play, wrestle, fight, and hug everyday. It's like a built in best friend!

I have 2 but they're 5yrs apart. I never planned my son. He was my unexpected surprise. When my daughter was 4mos old, my ex got a vasectomy.

When my current husband and I got together, I got pregnant the 1st time we did anything together! Oops! But we couldn't be happier. Sometimes it's 'in the cards' whether you think you're ready or not. : )

Four years. When my firstborn was an infant, I borrowed other people's kids to experiment and see what the minimum age range was that I can manage. My conclusion, for my parenting style, was four years. My parenting style works best with one baby at a time.

I have not seen any relationship between the closeness of siblings and the closeness in their age. We have a total of six in the house (I've only birthed two). Kids relate well with their siblings based on inherent personality characteristics mixed with parenting and family style. Age difference has little or nothing to do with it.

For children that are less than three years apart, the first few years are really, really hard. After that, there are significant schedule convenience advantages *to the parent* in having kids close together: one school, similar toys, similar activities. A household with less age diversity tends to be easier to schedule.

There are other advantages to wide age gaps however. A more age-diverse household has all the other advantages of diversity: many perspectives, many resources, lots of energy.

Another consideration is how much you love parenting and kids. There's a ten-year age gap between my eldest and my youngest (and they're really close). I will be actively parenting kids for 30 years, and may go directly into grandparenting shortly thereafter. I may also start fostering extra kids as my current batch grows up. I worked with kids before I had my own, too.
So raising kids is my life, both personally and professionally. It's my calling.

If kids are an irritating interruption to your "real life", minimizing your parenting time might be helpful.

Honestly I felt the same as you are feeling now before I had my 2nd. I loved my oldest so much I didn't see any possible way that I could love another child the same way or as much. My husband and the rest of my family were pushing for a 2nd- I did not feel ready at all- but because I felt like I had to, my husband and I tried for a 2nd. It took a long time for us to get pregnant- so almost a year later I fessed up to my husband that I did not feel ready for a 2nd. He took it well and we agreed to put it on hold for a while. Two days later I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd! I was very upset at first- not happy at all. But today I cannot imagine my life without my youngest! Funny thing, I did find enough love in my heart to wrap around both of my daughters a million times- I love them differently- but I love them both.

My older daughter had just turned three when my second daughter was born, so they are exactly three years apart, and it works perfectly. My older daughter is old enough to teach my younger daughter things and to help out. And they are close enough in age that they are best friends.

I wouldn't wait 5 or 6 years, that's too big of a gap for your kids to be close. If you are only going to have two, might as well make them closer together so that they can enjoy each other more. Trust M., your anxieties will melt away!

I say have another!!

I have a 3 yr old boy and my husband and I are contemplating the same question! We both would like to have another child but we do like our new found freedom. Our son is almost potty trained, out of diapers! Woot! I can take a shower now without interruption, I don't have to lug around so much stuff, he can walk with M. in the stores now, etc. Of course, these are all trivial things in the big picture of wanting another child. But, really, is having another child as hard as I imagine it will be? Also, my first was born 6 weeks premature. In the back of my mind I often think, will I ever be able to get pregnant again? What if something happens during the pregnancy? What if I end up with twins? I'm scaring myself! LOL

As a mom, ( and for my husband also.) I felt that a year or two gap would be good and by then our daughter should be a bit more independent. (Our daughter is almost 22 months and will be 27 months when baby comes.) I didn't want anymore of a gap then that because I think the wider it is the less they have in common and can relate to each other as they get a bit older. At least that's how it worked with my and my sister when we were growing up and she's four years younger than M.. My youngest sister is six years younger and same way. But the middle and youngest are two years and pretty (still) close as can be. I always felt kind of left out and don't want that for my daughter or this baby. (Plus I've gotten past that fear of not being to love a child as much as my daughter.)

We had our first in June 2004. I got pregnant again in May 2006. About two months in, I freaked out--I wasn't ready to part with my oldest being my one-and-only, I wasn't ready for him to have a sibling, I just wasn't ready. At the end of month three we miscarried, and a big part of M. knew it was for the best--not only medically speaking, but also because I think I just wasn't emotionally ready for #2. We got pregnant that December and our boys are 3y 3m apart. Since I struggle with anxiety, breastfeeding and all those great hormones do wonders for M., so I nursed my second until he was 2 1/2. We knew we wanted #3, and we tried for 8 months before I totally weaned him 100% (even one feeding a day wasn't working). My middle son and my daughter are also 3y 3m apart. Sometimes I look jealously at our neighbors, whose kids are closer in age. But then, I think, I had time to enjoy my children's babyhood. Pregnancy isn't great to M., so that would be 9 months of my children's babyhood where I'd already be focusing on the next one, and not so much on the one I have. My boys, who are now 7 and 3, play together pretty well. The 3 tags along with the older one quite a bit, and mostly he doesn't seem to mind. They both love their baby sister and dote on her, and it's been great having an older child who can learn and mature while having a baby in the house. It amazes M. how different it is bringing a baby home to a three year old and a 6 year old. My kids have also been pretty busy, needing lots of attention, high strung, and not real great sleepers. I don't feel like I would have had the energy or the attentiveness necessary to have two toddlers around. Anyway, that's my 2 cents!

Updated

We had our first in June 2004. I got pregnant again in May 2006. About two months in, I freaked out--I wasn't ready to part with my oldest being my one-and-only, I wasn't ready for him to have a sibling, I just wasn't ready. At the end of month three we miscarried, and a big part of M. knew it was for the best--not only medically speaking, but also because I think I just wasn't emotionally ready for #2. We got pregnant that December and our boys are 3y 3m apart. Since I struggle with anxiety, breastfeeding and all those great hormones do wonders for M., so I nursed my second until he was 2 1/2. We knew we wanted #3, and we tried for 8 months before I totally weaned him 100% (even one feeding a day wasn't working). My middle son and my daughter are also 3y 3m apart. Sometimes I look jealously at our neighbors, whose kids are closer in age. But then, I think, I had time to enjoy my children's babyhood. Pregnancy isn't great to M., so that would be 9 months of my children's babyhood where I'd already be focusing on the next one, and not so much on the one I have. My boys, who are now 7 and 3, play together pretty well. The 3 tags along with the older one quite a bit, and mostly he doesn't seem to mind. They both love their baby sister and dote on her, and it's been great having an older child who can learn and mature while having a baby in the house. It amazes M. how different it is bringing a baby home to a three year old and a 6 year old. My kids have also been pretty busy, needing lots of attention, high strung, and not real great sleepers. I don't feel like I would have had the energy or the attentiveness necessary to have two toddlers around. Anyway, that's my 2 cents!

My husband was ready when our son was about 15 or 16 months. I was not. Why? Probably because I breastfed him for the first 6 months (not as long as some moms I know) but I had JUST started feeling like I was able to get MY body back. I was finally making headway in getting back into my pre-baby body but I was still feeling a bit "touched out".
I also had an early walker with my first, and I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle an infant because our son took so much attention to keep him safe and out of "trouble", lol. Once he started walking (10 months) he did NOT want to be held. Ever. So grocery shopping or going anywhere was a HUGE pain. He also hated every stroller I tried. He just plain wanted to WALK. The prospect of trying to deal with that and an infant just petrified M..

But, with my husband pointing out often how quickly our son was growing and that even if we got pregnant THAT DAY, that I'd still have 10 months more that our son would mature before I'd be dealing with him AND an infant... I came around. We started trying soon after that.
It took a little longer to get pregnant the 2nd time (8 months instead of 4), so our kids are almost exactly 3 years apart. And it worked out GREAT. The our son and daughter are SOOO close. Best friends practically. And hubby was right about our son being older and 'easier' than I was thinking. He was very good with his little sister when she was born and learned quickly how to be a good shopper, lol.

Both our first and second babies were 'oopsies' so there was no planning involved. Our kids are 17 months apart, so by the time my son was your son's age, I was 8 months pregnant if you can imagine that! I know exactly what you mean about feeling like it's unfair to your oldest, but you're wrong. I cried, like, really, really cried the whole way to the hospital to have my 2nd because I felt like the world's worst mama for taking Mikey's baby-dom away from him so soon. It's true that he did have to make some adjustments, but that would have been true no matter what age I brought a new baby home. Yes, he had to give up his crib maybe a little earlier than he would have. No, I couldn't rock him to sleep every night anymore, but he was really too old for that by then anyway. I don't for one instant believe we did any sort of damage to him by having his sister so close after him. It seems unimaginable right now, but your heart truly swells exactly the right amount to bring a new baby home. Your love for your first will not diminish in the least, it will just envelope a new person as well.

Personally, I'm glad things worked out for us the way they did. I wouldn't want to have a practically self-sufficient child & then start all over again. I'm glad my kids are close enough to share friends, to have the same bedtime, to not have to worry about why can he go where I can't go type situations. I potty trained them together, so Mike was a little late & Hail was a little early & that was ok with M..

My son was 5 when I got pregnant with my twins (no fertility issues) we waited til he was in school full time because he has special needs. Having 2 at a time was a challenge but when I look back on it I wouldn't do it any other way!!

When the time is right you will know it, when you look at a brand new baby and want one in your arms, that is when I knew it was time.

I felt ready for my second straight after I gave birth to my first. My first was six months old when I became pregnant with my second. My second was nine months old when I became pregnant with my third. All on purpose. Just coming out of the fog now. Lol.

When my daughter was 3, almost 4. She wanted a little brother or sister (mostly sister). But I started feeling bad for her that she didnt have another child to share things with. My pregnancies were horrible so there so no way I would have planned it when she was 15 months, but thats just M.. I did love all the time I was able to spend with my daughter before her brother came. It was a great experience. I learned so much, and with one child I actually had the time to. I think you will know when your ready. I sure as heck wouldnt have been at 15 months.

I have 2 kids, who are 2.5 years apart. (They're now 10 and 8.) I remember feeling how you feel. My daughter was everything to M. and I wondered how I could ever split my attention between 2.

But I knew that I wanted 2 and I knew I didn't want a big gap in their ages. So when the time came to start thinking about having a second, I didn't necessarily "feel ready" but I let my head win out. Luckily you get 9 months to get used to the idea. :-)

My son's birth was a planned c-section (due to pre-eclampsia) and I remember watching my daughter sleeping in her crib the night before the c-section and thinking how I wouldn't have this sweetness any more.

Well, I got a different kind of sweetness. I like the 2.5 year gap. My kids are close enough in age to play together and I'm lucky enough that they generally get along. Sometimes it was difficult. For example, my daughter was not at all happy when I nursed my son at first. Sometimes I wish I had time to focus on just one of them.

In the end, you just do it--you deal with the changes. Your family adapts. And you will love your next baby and (eventually) so will your son.

What do parents consider when deciding whether or not they should have any more kids? Many factors are considered, some of which are unique to the family involved, but the most common considerations for whether or not to have any more kids are as follows.

* emotions-do the parents miss the sounds, smells, and feel of having a newborn around? Do they feel stressed at the thought of having more kids?

* experience-was their prior experience with pregnancy pleasant or uncomfortable? Have they found raising little ones to be mostly enjoyable or difficult?

* finances-can they afford more kids, childcare, etc.?

* health-are their bodies capable of further pregnancies without complications or risks for themselves and/or their babies?

* logistics-would having more kids mean that their families would no longer be able to fit in their current homes, vehicles, etc.?

* M.-time-do they need M.-time (time alone or to engage in individual, personal pursuits), and do they choose not to surrender that M.-time in favor of having more kids?

* paradigms-were they raised in a large or small family?

* relationships-how will additional kids affect relationships between the existing kids or between parents and the existing kids? (i.e., will adding a third child make the second child deal with “middle child syndrome”?)

* retirement planning-what do they expect their retirement years to look like? When do they expect retirement to begin?

* time and energy consumed by current life-are they fully maxed out in taking care of their existing kids? (Perhaps an existing child is not well and needs a lot of special attention.)

* work-do they currently balance home life and work life . . . and having additional kids would throw that balance out of whack?

The decision to have more kids (or not to have more kids) is a uniquely personal decision. Each family must make that decision based on their own unique situation, after giving thought to the considerations listed above and other considerations that are specific to their situation.

While the baby days are great, I've enjoyed condensing them, as they are a lot of work! We always wanted our kids to be 2-3 years apart and they are and it's great. For us it's great. We both love when they start to get more independent and more interactive with the world (not they they aren't perpetually interactive as babies, but you know what I mean). And if you're planning on having more than one at some point, they are always going to have to share attention for all of their lives. I preferred (my daughter) to get used to it before she got too big and got used to being the center of the universe.Our kids are 3.5 years and 15 months and it's wonderful. I do know a number of people who decide to take larger spacing between kids and it works out well for them. (In fact, one of the girls my daughter is friends with has an older sister who is 11 years older than her - planned!)
Go with whatever feels right for you. If it doesn't feel right yet, it probably isn't. That being said, as far as you not having enough love to give both, the more you love the more love you have, I always say; love breeds love. (And remember baby will arrive 9 months later, which gives your boy lots of time to grow and become more independent and for you to prepare him.)

Wow. Reading your post is like reading my exact experience with my son. Same situation - healthy all around and pre term labor, scared of what will happen with #2, not sure how I could love another baby as much as my son...

He will be 3 years old in a couple of weeks and I am just now really starting to feel a BIG desire to have a second child. I think about it constantly. So, to answer your question, I just now started to feel ready @ 3 years old.

Best of luck to you!!

My daughter was born when my son was nearly 3. So we started trying when he was 2 years old. I always wanted kids and wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 28. My daughter was born right after I turned 27. I was an only child growing up and didn't want my kid to be an only child. Also I wanted them close enough in age so that they could play together and relate to eachother more rather than having a bigger age gap. Right now my son is 7 years old and my daughter is 4 years old. They play together a lot and my son watches out for his little sister. Although they do fight sometimes. I don't think you're ever truly ready.

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I got pregnant with my second child when the first was only 6 months old...this was BEFORE I realized how much work the first one would be!!!! I always felt that I had them too close together (they are 15 months apart). It's SO nice now that they are 2 & 3 because they spend a lot of time together playing. I still feel like they both got somewhat gypped, though, because I had to share my time with them and didn't really get a chance for good one-on-one, which I think is so important during those early years. I'm definitely not ready for a third (yet)...I'm thinking I MIGHT be ready when my youngest is 5!! We'll see!!!

We did make a conscious decision to get pregnant with my second even though I wasn't sure I was "ready". I knew I wanted another child and we didn't want our kids too far apart and we weren't sure if we were going to want a 3rd or 4th so we felt a certain amount of internal pressure to get on it! I don't think I ever would have felt totally ready because, as you mentioned, you have so much fun with the first one, you're busy, you're tired, etc. etc., so I felt like I had to just bite the bullet and do it and I couldn't be happier. My kids have a good age difference (2 years) and although I'm busier now and things are more hectic, I LOVE (of course) both my kids and I mostly love how much they interact together. To see them together is the greatest joy I have.

Im pregnant right now with my 2nd. When he is born, my son will be 27 months. I thought I was ready when I decided to get pregnant, but now that the reality of it is here and looming, I am finding myself filled with all kinds of anxiety. I dont know how I could love another baby as much as I love my son. I worry about how he is going to feel and am I going to be able to be as good a mother to him as I am now. I worry how I will balance it all..family..work... a happy marriage. I am a worrier by nature and most times things always work out after I have worried myself into a state of frenzy..so I am just pushing forward and trying to believe it will all work out (somehow). Reading the posts of other Mamas in reponse to your question is somewhat helpful in feeling I am not alone and that things do work out.

Well, I had a bit of both - I (oops) got pregnant when My first was only 9 months, and we were very surprised and unprepared, as she was still so little, still nursing, etc! But after that first month of shock, we recovered and were very excited, becasue we knew they would be so close to each other and be great friends, and never really remember life without the other. Sadly, I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. It took M. about 8 months after the loss to feel ready to try again, and we were lucky enough to get pregnant right away, and when my daughter was about 18 months I got pregnant again. He was born when she was 27 months. She adjusted to him very quickly, and LOVES her little brother, and will stick up for him and proctect him and help him ( and fight with him and yell at him and boss him, LOL). It is so sweet to see them together, and I don't regret an instant of it.

I wasn't ready when we got pregnant with the baby we lost, but it made M. realize that I did want more babies, and made M. really think about all the benefits to doing it sooner rather than later, for our particular situation ( I am a stay at home mom, so might as well have them close). SO I was ready after that.

My mom waited 6 and a half years between myself and my brother. I really wasn't fond of him when he was born - I didn't hate him or try to do anything malicious, I just pretty much pretended he didn't exist for his infanthood...I didn't want to feed him or hold him or any of that. Once he got big enough to play with it was different, we had some really fun times, and some HUGE fights, too. I love my little brother, but it was definitely not a close friends type relationship - more of a babysitter/proctector situation - I helped mom take care of him, I took him to school, helped him with his homework,sort of "babysat" him after school for the 2 hours before mom got home, once I was in about 6th grade and he was in Kindergarten, etc. Unfortunately with that much of a gap, socially/emotionally, growing up, you are in two totally different worlds for a long time - we are just now, at 33 and 26, getting onto the similar page with our lives....you know, he was still in elementary while I was in High school, he was in Jr High and High school when I was in college - I got married while he was getting his Masters - and now I have 2 kids and he is getting his PHD and dating.

Personally I think closer is better for the kids relationship wise, BUT I can see where ESPECIALLY as a working mom, like my mom was, that further apart would be easier on the parents - I had 2 in diapers for a while, I had to buy lots of things what you would normally use for twins, since mine were so close in age - double stroller, 4 car seats ( 2 for each car) duplicates of toys and sippy cups, for less fighting, and make sure every one had one, etc.

Oh, and my first pregnancy, I had the beginnings of preeclampsia( elevated blood pressure), and was on bedrest for the last 3 months,and then had a c-section....I dreaded all that with subsequent pregnancies. BUT, I had no further blood pressure issues with the other 2 pregnancies, and though I did have another c-seciton, the recovery wasn't too bad, I just had to make sure DH or one of the grandmas was there to pick up the big girl for the first while. We also knew I was going to have another c-section so we started training her to be more independant and not need to be carried so much from the start of the pregnancy, and the c-section was scheduled, so we could plan ahead for care for our first and time off for DH, more easily.

It is a very personal family decision, do what is best for you, what we did is working great for us, and we are now done, with one 4 and a half year old girl, and a 2 and a half year old boy!

It all pays off when my daughter looks at her little brother and gives him and kiss and says "Will, you are my BEST friend." chokes M. up just typing it!

Jess

I didn't feel ready until my first was about 3 years old. I just didn't think I could handle two when she was little. Well, I didn't want to handle two when she was little. It's a matter of preference. Some say they like them close in age. I wouldn't have been able deal with two in diapers. I need to be able to reason with at least one of the two. So my oldest was almost 4 when my second daughter came. Worked out great for us. She was somewhat self sufficient (as 4 year olds go) and like I said - I could reason with her. As you know, real little ones don't process "stop doing that". It is what it is. I can tell my oldest if you don't stop then you get such and such taken away and she stops. For M. I needed that balance. Don't gage having another child by someone elses standards. What works for one may not work for another. Enjoy your little one. It really does go by fast. They require A LOT of attention. My oldest got it and now my two year old is able to get that same attention with a little help from big sis : )

I knew when I was in the hospital after just delivering my 33 weeker that I wanted another ~ just not then. We started trying when he was 2 1/2 and our daughter was born when he was 4 1/2. A year later they adore each other and we are trying to make up our minds if we will be adding to the family again.
Good luck with what you decide.

First, there are good things & bad things about *every* age spread. My boys are 6.5 years apart, but we originally started trying for them to be 2.5-3 years apart for all the reasons listed here. But, with my particular kids, this larger age gap is *perfect*.

As for *wanting* to get pregnant again: All of a sudden, I wanted a second one desperately. I went from feeling exactly like you feel now to really wanting another baby almost overnight! It had a lot to do with my first being able to walk, talk & somewhat feed himself... he just didn't need M. for every single thing so much any more at about 18 mos.

Finally, your 2nd pregnancy can be very different from your first. I have a good friend who had her son at 25 weeks, no issues to that point. With her second, she saw a high risk OB for her whole pregnancy, and gave birth to a very healthy baby at 37 weeks.

I had my second when my first was 22 months, so I got pregnant when she was 14 months. The timing of our second was NOT planned and I wasn't too happy about it. I had a hard time adjusting to two small children/babies, though many parents really like having siblings that close. I am expecting my 3rd next month and have not stressed one bit about the spacing of this one...which was intentional this time. My second turns 3 next week, my oldest turns 5 in Sept. and the baby is due at the end of August. So for M., having two under two was too soon, and having a baby with a 3 and 5 y/o feels good :)

I think it is a very personal decision.
And one you aren't always allowed to make for yourself...
When my DD was around 18 mths. old we thought we had a oopsie baby-we didn't. But it got us wanting another. So we started trying and were still trying 2 yrs. later when I finally got pregnant. We lost that baby and it took us 8 months to get pregnant again.

When I set out to have kids I wanted no more than 3 years between them...as if I could truly control that. Lol.

So I have a almost 6 yo and a 1 yo. And it's nice. We are happy and DD is a great big sister.

But I gotta admit-I have the baby bug again...must be something about the 1 and a halfish year time frame for a lot of women.

You have to do what you are comfortable w/. There is no right or wrong answer. Don't allow what others do make you feel inadequate (something I still struggle w/).
Enjoy your son! And know that whenever you decide to have another you won't be taking any love away from him. Your heart just grows. :)

I think when you are ready you will just know. There are pro's and con's to both. The good thing about having them close together is that you can condense the amount of time you will have to spend in the baby stage, but it also is a lot more work because you essentially have two babies at that point, and two in diapers at the same time. Larger spacing is good because the first one gets more time with just you before another one comes along, they are more independent, and can help out more, no double diapers. You will love the next one just as much as your first. There is not a limit on our capacity to love, it is a growing emotion, which only multiplies. There is 3 yrs 1 months between #1, and #2, and 20 months between #2, and #3. I loved both of these age gaps for different reasons