"Whatever . . ."

aaahhh the joys of our children growing up and learning how words can affect others...

When my boys TRIED it? It was a straight forward, no non-sense "excuse me?? That is NOT how we talk others."

Nip it in the bud now. If you ignore it? You are silently condoning it and it will get worse!

Good luck!

I would say..."excuse me, try again". If he doesn't know the words he should say then make him parrot you by saying something like "sure mom, I'll go pick up my toys right now."

My eldest came home and said "Whatever" (complete with eye roll) after 2 weeks in Kindergarten. I had same reaction .. what?????

They hear things on playground of course - older kids. Some of their friends at school probably have older siblings who watch older shows. It happens. Trust me, this is just the start.

I always just explain what it feels like to be spoken to in that way. I get them to tell me how they would feel if someone said something unkind like that to them. Half the time they don't even understand what they are saying (just repeating).

I always deal with it the same way. They aren't welcome to join us if they are going to be unkind. Their friends would respond the same way if they were unkind to them, not play with them anymore, so it's a good way to teach them that lesson. I don't really discipline or do time outs. They lose out on our company if they aren't respectful.

When a little one sees you reading with the others on the couch and they're not welcome to join in, it's a strong enough message.

Good luck :)

Because he's 5....

If you don't like it, you nip in the the bud. Make it clear that it's not the right way to talk to his parents. For my DD, I got down to her level and said, "Excuse me, young lady. That is not an appropriate response to my question. You need to check your attitude and answer me appropriately." She doesn't do it anymore.

IMO, it is very important to teach them what TO DO vs just what not to do. If you are doing time outs, make sure he is also clear on what to do and gets a chance to try that before he's whisked off to the corner.

Anytime my kids come home with speech or behavior that is unacceptable in our family, I stop it immediately with a quick "Excuse me?" or an "Absolutely not!" I tell them that what they are doing is rude and will not be tolerated in our home. I tell them that they will lose privileges if they continue to speak or act that way. That ends it.
If you have firm, consistent discipline in place, this should be easily corrected.

We say to both our kids. No, you cannot say "Whatever" (or whatever word/phrase they are using) because that is considered disrespectful. You may say that to your friends at school if you want but you may NOT answer mom and dad this way. Next time you say "Whatever" to me or dad your consequence will be a time out in your room (or a consequence of your choice). This works with our kids.

ah yes, mirroring the Cool Kids. as you now know, it starts early and continues on!
i think kids should be allowed small expressions of annoyance or distaste IF they're actually expressing themselves (not just aping behaviors to be cool) and IF they find acceptable ways of doing it. i would let eye-rolling pass some of the time, if it was fairly minor and not, say, directed at a grandparent or neighbor (they knew better than to try it with a teacher), but a dismissive 'whatever' would be a bridge too far. my boys were pretty good about knocking it off if they got the stinkeye and a 'excuse me?'
if yours needs more, i think an immediate banishment is in order. but i'm betting he picks up pretty quickly that this is something his rotten little friends might enjoy but not to pull it on his parents.
khairete
S.

New words and expressions that they pick up at school are not always good things.
"Whatever" is often just a catch phrase for "I don't care" or "You don't matter".
Our son tried out a few phrases from classmates at preschool.
I asked him why he thought it was ok to talk to us like that because we don't talk to each other like that.
I went on to say that maybe he didn't know what some words meant and if he had questions then he should ask us what it meant and if it were something that was ok to say.

He's in K. It's a whole new world out there. Stop it now before it becomes a big issue.

I'd follow up with a simple "are you going to do X or not?", ignore the 'whatever' and move on to getting the task done.

Kids tend to want to try out the stuff we get upset about. This is going to happen with bad words, irritating habits, etc. If it were me, I'd focus on the most important thing in that moment-- what needs being done. Don't get stuck on one word, instead, address the actions of doing or not doing. Getting caught up in words sometimes gives children a lot of power when they press our buttons.

Also remember that, at school, he is having to behave and be respectful to the teachers. If he's only misbehaving and throwing an attitude at home, I wouldn't be overly worried. If kids are doing what's asked at school all day, they are likely tired and grumpy and not wanting much direction at home. Esp. in Kindergarten and the younger grades. Not making an excuse, just putting it in some perspective. If he starts acting out and being rude at school, of course, then yes, more attention to the situation is needed.

And I'm not saying 'let your child speak to you in a bratty way', what I am saying is choose your hill to die on carefully. If he doesn't feel he has room to express negative emotions at school right now, then expect that some of it is going to come out at home. (I see this with my child who is eight-- beginning of school year is still an adjustment. They want to please the teacher and do really well at school, so tired, cranky, uncooperative kid at home. It happens.) If you don't overreact, eventually he'll find something else which he thinks is novel and you think is annoying!

( I would also add, yes, addressing it directly works for some kids. It doesn't work for mine. Not because we don't follow through on discipline, but because he LOVES a reaction and for him, working through/past an annoyance sort of bursts the 'oh, let's push their buttons' desire for distraction my kid has and keeps us on the main point.)

This is certainly not a teen thing, and the fact is that as kids are exposed to other kids they will pick up certain things like this. It may be that another parent doesn't care if their child uses this response, or that they don't know, or that the other kid uses it because his parents don't like it. As your child gets older they will get exposed to more and more things and behaviors you may not like, so it will be your job to set limits and follow through with any promised consequences if they rules are not followed.