I called my son in to wash up for dinner last night and heard a kid crying, which is not unusual because someone always ends up crying for one reason or another. Then we sit down for dinner and my son said that there were these 2 boys (brothers) who are not very nice and we all know that for a fact. Well bigger brother held down a neighborhood girl and the second one kicked her. My son told me what he did and I am not going to say what but I just wanted to get your opinons as to what you hope your son would have done given the situation. One side note, all the kids dispersed before an adult could make it back and we dont know what exact house is hers.
Oldest brother is 10, little brother is about 7, the girl was roughly 8-9 (second grade) My son is 8. I will add an SWH later.
SWH: I guess my son was running to get me as I was calling him in, and me calling him caused all the kids to scatter and go home before an adult got to the field they were playing in. My son said that him and another boy had told the brothers to knock it off but they didnt. And that is where I came in. I was proud of my son for a) telling them to stop and b) was on his way to get his dad or myself. But part of me, although I wont tell him kind of wishes he would have tackled one of them to get them off her before she was kicked.
My oldest son is a black belt in TKD - it would have been his DUTY to come to her aid.
My youngest son is a high Blue Belt in TKD - again - his duty to come to her aid.
Either way? I would have expected my children to help the girl or a boy if they saw something like that happening.
What I DO know my son would do is stick up for the girl. He has in the past.
Son or daughter, I hope they would have ran over to help the girl being held down. I would be very proud if my child would have knocked both of them to the ground!
I hate to admit it.... but given it was a little girl being hurt I am sure my son would have yelled for them to stop and when that didn't work he would have resorted to pulling the kids off and likely hitting or kicking them. My little guy is very much a pacifist until someone in that position is in of saving.
ETA: GOOD for him! I DO think you need to let the parents of the boys know what happened. you're obligated. Wouldn't you want to know if your kid was holding down a girl and kicking her?
Well, of course I would want my son to speak up!
Or get an adult immediately.
Or (size permitting) get them off of her.
Do you remember the scene in Karate Kid when Mr. Miagi fought off all those boys in Daniel's defense? *Sigh* I wish real life was like the movies sometimes. :) I know that's not the right response, but in all reality, I would want my son to defend the child being held down to the best of his ability.
Edit* Just read your SWH. A high five to your son! He did what he could and that's excellent!
i think your son and his friend acted the right way. if they would have tackled a much bigger 10 year old they wouldve gotten hurt too and it may have been worse then what they were doing to the girl. if the person is bigger its smart to try yelling once and then get help
i would however walk to those boys house even if it took knocking on a few diferent doors and also locate hte litte girl
I would hope that your son went to her defense.
My son is 6, so I would hope that - if they were older/bigger, he would yell at them while heading for grownups to get help. If they were his age/size, I would be ok if he were more direct in telling them to stop before getting a grownup. But yelling for grownups would be the very least.
At the age of 8 I would definitely not want my son to go up against a 10 yo and a 7 yo. He's not strong enough or skilled enough to actually stop the fight. The fight would escalate and he could be hurt and the girl hurt even more. He did the right thing by coming to get you.
I would watch and find out where the boys live and talk with their parents. Even uninvolved parents might take their boys beating up on a girl seriously.
I would hope that the parents of the girl would call the police if this is the way the boys continue to treat her. But then, perhaps they're uninvolved parents too. This makes me angry and sad.
Seeing how my boys have a little sister, whom they love like crazy, I am pretty sure it would have gone down one of two ways: First, I think they would have teamed up and each taken a boy and got them off the girl, if telling them to stop didnt work. Second: I imagine my 9y/o would have yelled at them to quit and then would have made a beeline to me or his Dad...and my 7y/o (who has serious issues with people touching him) would have likely tackled the kid doing the kicking.
How old is he?
If my SS was younger than the bullies, I'd want him to come tell an adult. If he was as big or bigger, he might jump in and get them to let her go and I'd encourage him to stand up to them. I'd be very concerned that the boys are ganging up on a girl and would be sitting outside while my kid played with other neighborhood kids for a while.
Good for him!
1. Yell "STOP!" in your loudest voice
2. Go get an adult
3. If can't find one... punch the little bastard as hard as you can and keep yelling for an adult.
This is what I tell my students and clients in sessions. You NEVER start a fight, but you aren't a punching bag either, neither are your friends.
I would hope he would have come to you for help. I would hope that my son would try to make them stop by getting involved.
What a good boy!
Yes, I hope that my son would have come to get me, but also would be ok with it if he physically intervened to stop the bullies.
He did the right thing! Good for him. I hope that little girl is okay.
My son at 2 got in trouble for pushing a kid in daycare, who was pinching his friend. Sometimes right and wrong is just imbedded in these kids. :)
I haven't checked your profile and you don't say how old your son is, or approximate ages of the other kids. I think that may make a difference.
If my son was very young and these boys are older, I would expect him to come get me ASAP (or yell for me right away). If all kids are close in age, I would like to think my son would have said something to the boys to make them let go of the girl and then maybe walked her home (or to my door so an adult could walk her home). If they are older, I would like to think my son would have said something and then physically intervened if necessary (or at least gotten help).
I also think more details about said kids would determine what I would have wanted him to do (there are some people that are just more dangerous for instance I wouldn't have wanted him to confront known gang members alone).
My son would have attempted to verbally shoo them away. Failing that, they'd be forcibly removed from the general vicinity of the girl and given a second chance to get lost. He's a black belt candidate in Karate, so he is perfectly capable of physically removing two kids.
Your son did just fine - there were two of them, he tried a verbal warning, and then he was trying to get help which made them take off. He may have been hurt trying to fight them.
Since you know who the boys are, you need to either go speak with the parents, or if you know that will not do any good, make a police report.
