What Would You Do? Sry Kinda Long

Wow - what an awful experience. Definitely you should change doctors. That is no way to treat a parent who is worried about their child in the middle of the night.

I suggest that you caught the doctor at a bad time. I was frustrated just reading your message. Frustrated for both of you. Yes, you were concerned. You did tell him you thought it was night terrors and there is no way that he can do anything about it. Nothing the ER could do either. They cannot confirm night terrors either.

I suggest that you came across as upset and needing something he was unable to give to you at 3 am. If he's kind and easy to deal with during regular appointments I'd just mark it off as "one of those nights" when he didn't understand what you wanted. Yes, he was rude. But you don't know what his day and night were like. Perhaps you were his 3rd upset parent of the night. Perhaps he hadn't gotten enough sleep for several nights. Perhaps he and his wife had had a fight. Perhaps a member of his family is deathly sick and he had no patience for night terrors.

I'm all for giving people second chances. It takes time to build a relationship and this is one that your family has had for years. The next time you go in, if you're still upset, in a diplomatic way tell him how upset you were.

I also suggest that you get a medical book on children's health issues and read up on them. When you face an upsetting situation, go back and read the book on that subject. Also, use this site to express your concerns. There are usually several people on it even during the night. Perhaps another mother would be able to reassure you. I've seen it done.

You're OK. The doctor is OK. You both were having a rough time.

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I think you just caught the doctor on a bad day. Honestly, from reading your message, I wasn't really sure why you called in the first place. Lots of kids wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. Our "mama radar" goes off and it's very upsetting to us, but that is when you have to stop, take a deep breath and think rationally. Go through your mental check list... does my baby have a bad fever (104+ that does not come down with tylenol or motrin)? Is my baby acting lethargic (limp, lifeless, unresponsive)? Is my baby having difficulty breathing? Does my baby have severe vomiting (more than 8+ hours, blood in the vomit, showing signs of dehydration, etc.). Does my child show signs of injury? Has he/she been crying inconsolably for more than hour? These are all examples of what would warrant an emergency and a trip to the ER or a call to the on-call doctor.

If it was night terrors, there is nothing he could do about that. There is nothing an ER doctor could do either. You told him, "Tell me what is the matter with my daughter?" I don't care how good the doctor is, NO doctor can tell what is wrong with your child over the phone.

What did he mean by "behavioral problem"? Toddler night waking is a very common behavioral problem. He wasn't trying to be offensive... I'm sure he was just offering a suggestion, if that was truly her problem. Here is a great article from the "What to Expect" site: http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/night-waking...

Was he rude? YES! But it sounds like you were pretty upset and there wasn't anything he could do about your situation. Think about it from his perspective... you were probably the 5th mama that called him in the middle of the night last night.

I also think it was a sign of a good doctor that he called back to check on her. He did that, probably because he knew he was rude, and he also because he wanted to make sure she was OK. For whatever reason, he probably didn't think you sounded very rational (understandable) and he wanted to get another person's perspective.

Yes, he was rude, but give the guy a break. If you are still upset about it, talk to him about it. Ask him to give you some guidelines on what does warrant a middle of the night phone call.

I also second the recommendation for getting a medical book on children's health issues. I think it will help you if you find yourself in an upsetting situation.

HTH!

If it were me I would totally change doctors...how are you going to be able to deal with him after the way that he treated you??? And if it were me I would also let him know exactly why I am leaving in a FAXED letter that the office staff will get first and then a SENT letter to his other partners...this letter should exactly detail his treatment of you along with the freaky nature of the second call as well as the fact that you are sadly going to have to let your friends that go to him know of his anger issues. You may also want to CC the hospital that he is affiliated with.

How old is this doctor, 110?? He was your husbands pedi when he was little...omg, sounds like a cranky old doctor.
Find a new one that you and your daughter can grow up with!

First off I would really question letting him treat my child. You are a mother and it is a fact that moms pick up on things others would miss when it comes to their child. Is he is a pratice where you can see another doctor? If so you may want to set up a meeting with another one and tell them your concerns/ why you are seeking a new doctor. I got feed up with our ped and went to a family doctor. I love our family doctor and there is not way I would go back to the ped. I pray all works out and that there is nothing wrong. One thing could she have teeth coming in? This sound just like what my 2 did when they started getting teeth.
ps. never mind the teeth question I saw your reply about her ears. I hope she is feeling better.

I think he is an a$$ and you should find another doctor. I also think you should file a complaint with the Texas Board of Medical Examiners.
I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but his response was rude & mean. You did the right thing in calling the office, the nurse is the one who called the doctor, so obviously she thought it was important.
I would not take my child back to him, and I would make sure he knew exactly why. He is a doctor and he knew full well what he was getting into by the time he started medical school, he needs to be nice, regardless of the time of day or night. Could you imagine calling because your house was on fire and having the fire department yell at you for waking them up in the middle of the night?? It's part of the job!

I have no sympathy for this doctor of yours. I'm in a field (not the medical field) where I have to be on call, and I get calls at all hours of the day and night for things people consider to be emergencies. Some of them are true emergencies, and some are not, but I always remind myself, this person wouldn't be calling if they didn't honestly believe this was an emergency! It would never occur to me to yell at someone who needed my help at 3am. It's part of the job, and all of us who are on call for work are paid well to compensate for the 3am wake-up calls. Is it inconvenient? Sure. But it's part of the job.

Now, that being said, your baby had a legitimate reason to be taken to the emergency room! She had an ear ache - you had no way of knowing that, but your doctor should have suspected from her symptoms that something was wrong. Not all children have a fever when they have an ear infection, but every mom knows that when a child wakes up screaming inconsolably, it IS worth a call to the on-call nurse, and if the nurse tells you to head to the ER, by all means, you go! The nurse was correct (as they usually are). The doctor was out of line.

Bottom line, your doctor is a jerk with a God complex. Switch doctors. You are a consumer, and you have every right to take your child to a doctor who will respect both of you and treat you with common courtesy.

I wouldn't go so far as to complain, actually. I know that I can be cranky at 3 am. The reason to call the DR at night is for emergencies. Granted- you didn't know it wasn't an emergency.

Truth is, sometimes people get night terrors. It doesn't need to be triggered by a sickness. You just hold them and calm them down- sing them a lullaby. And this may seem too simple, but it could have been caused by her needing to pee. That can cause nightmares or night terrors.

Now, if this practice you take your daughter to has other drs to choose from, id simply request a different one. or, if not, id switch doctors. I had to switch doctors for my children once- it isn't that much of a hassle. i would not have switched because he didn't guess she has an ear infection (cause that is impossible to say over the phone), but id switch because he doesn't sound nice and id want to spare the chance of seeing this guy in person again.

it means your doctors head is too big and his dic% is too small!!
change doctors, change doctors, change doctors.
K. h.

Well, I have had those nights. And the first thing I worrie about is ruptured appendix. or something like that! WHICH WOULD REQUIRE AN ER ..!!! So I understand the panic! It dont matter how many kids you have or raised. Its always a worrie.... Your Doctor should be set up for calls like that! He choose hes profesion. If hes that angry or frustrated maybe he should change it to something elese. ;( I know a mom that thought it might of been nothing and it was something, Her child ended up very ill. So thats my opinion! Hope all is well with your little one :)

I'd let him know in NO uncertain terms exactly WHY you are switching pediatricians. Immediately.

If my pedi acted like that, I'd get a new doctor. Seriously, what a jerk. Something was actually wrong. If the doc didn't know and couldn't say, he should have been more understanding. If his office's procedure is to call him in a situation like that, then he shouldn't be pissy when it happens.

I would understand someone having almost an alternate personality from the day and unexpected middle of the night wake up call (like me) but I would NOT expect that from a doctor on-call.

Glad your daughter is better. I hope you can now take a deep breath. ;)

Yeah, your best bet is probably a new doctor. If you no longer trust this doctor or feel that he doesn't respect you or listen to you it may be easier to start over with someone new. Ask around with friends about who is a good pediatrician. I got a good recommendation from my son's preschool teacher.

It seems like things went way off track with this conversation. Without hearing the whole conversation it is hard to know exactly what happened. I can understand your side from reading your post.

I don't want to defend his being rude to you. But there are some things that may have been going on from his point of view. He may not have gotten enough information from the nurse or answering service to know what was going on. If you were very upset he may have had a hard time getting the information he needed from you. It does take a bit of skill and effort to get a person to calm down (I had a lot of practice at this working in the mental health field). Some people panic in a crisis and he may not have been able to tell if you were emotional but able to think clearly or upset to the point of not making sense. Everyone has that point where their heart is racing and they can't think clearly anymore. Ironically, a researcher studied this and found men get to that point quicker than women on average. (And women have the reputation of being emotional...)

Ear infections in a baby too young to talk can be hard to spot with no physical exam--even a doctor can't tell until they look in the child's ear. I also found that out the hard way when my oldest was 18 months--he had a fever for a few days but no congestion and it was summer so I had no idea he had an ear infection until his eardrum burst! Our pediatrician always says on the phone that they can't make a diagnosis unless they see the child in person.

Find a new doctor! Fast.

Sounds like you need to find a new pediatrician!!!

I agree with Marda P.

WOW! Well, I would no doubt switch pediatricians. It will never be a comfortable situation again. While he was completely WRONG to speak to you this way, he's only human and was obviously VERY grumpy in the middle of the night. Still no excuse but people snap sometimes. I've been pretty rude to my kids when they have woken me in the middle of the night. :( Then felt like a jerk come morning. Regardless, you should cut those ties. He should have had more self control.

I would change doctors. It was the middle of the night and he was probably tired. Doctor's work very long hours but he should understand how scared parents get whem their baby is crying and seems to be in pain. I would also report him to whoever is in charge at the clinic he works for. There should also be a reporting agency, or license board in TX to report him to.
Ask other Moms in your neighborhood, church, the library who they go to and if they like their ped. I would also let other people know how he treated you, you wouldn't want other Moms to go through that.

Wow, you sure saw the worst side of your doctor. I would just chalk it up to him having a bad night. We've all had them. If you think you will be uncomfortable seeing him again in person, just check around with friends and see if they like their pediatrician. There are a ton of good ones out there who are very conscious of first-time moms and are more considerate. If you find one on your medical plan, go ahead and switch. You can then sign papers at the new office to transfer his file.

Your Dr is an a$$!! I say find a new Dr right away. I would not take my child back to him. I would also file a complaint with the state medical board and the office he works at.

Maybe your doc felt you called for a trivial reason in the middle of the night, but that is no way to talk to you. First time moms are always worried , so it's his duty to comfort you and tell you to bring her in in the morning as it can't be diagonised over a phone call. V V rude , he may have his reasons of being very tired etc but he was on call that night , so its his duty to respond to patients in the right manner. What you did was right - if you are not sure what is bothering your baby , CALL. Babies can't tell what's happening , so they cry for for everything.We can't tell if it's ok or not. Its always better to call and check.I would change doctors.

Doctors are service providers. That is it. They provide a service. If you are not happy with your dry cleaners, you find a new one. Its the same concept with a doctor. I fired an intern at 3 a.m. when my daughter was a toddler. She had been in Texas Childern's for 10 days and was finally being release. Because she had a central line, they were changing her meds. This stupid intern comes in and wants to give her the old medicine. I told her "no, we are going home tomorrow and they want to put her on this new medicine." She pulled my out in the hall and proceeded to ask me why I didn't want my daughter to get better? I proceeded to tell her every medicine my daughter was on and had no idea why she would say something like that to me. She was rude and nasty. I told her "you are fired and you are not allowed to treat my daughter anymore". The look on her face! She told me I couldn't do that and I said "lady, I just did". She said she would call the primary doctor and I said "do it". I turned to the nurse, who was watching the show and told her to call the primary. Whacky intern turned to me and screamed "you can't do that". I told the nurse to call him right now. Primary was called and she was fired. Point is, you have to stand up for your child. Doctors provide a service. Trust me, there a plenty of peds who would love to treat your child.

I would absolutely change doctors. Regardless of what miscommunication issues were going on he behavior seems a bit irrational for someone purporting to be a professional.

Wow! I agree change doctors.

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Wow! I agree change doctors.