In early december our 6 year old son was hospitalized for extensive blood clots in his legs and stomach as well as multiple clots in his lungs. Truth be told he was 12 hours from losing his leg or worse. He spent quite a bit of time in the hospital and when he got out he was put on Coumadin(aka warfarin) which is a blood thinner. Our family has endured so much in the last 5 months and will continue to do so as his doctors try to figure out what is going on with my precious son, they are leaning more towards Rheumatoid Arthritis, we expect a referral to UC Davis any day. Being on the coumadin means weekly doctors appointments to determine his blood isn't too thin and being hyper vigilant because he is at a MUCH higher risk of bleeding, among other things. That means no slides or monkey bars, putting training wheels back on his bike(lessens risk of falls), no or very light wrestling with Daddy, no bunk bed, no tball etc. Early June he comes off the Coumadin(hooray!!!!). I want to throw a party to celebrate what hopefully is the end of this stressful chapter in our lives!!! However I am somewhat torn because even though he won't be taking the medicine he is by no means out of the woods and may at some point have to go back on. My question is-if you were in our shoes, and closing one chapter-only to open the next, would you have a party? I would LOVE to invite our friends and families as well as my son's to mark what I hope is the end of this horrid time-even though worse ones may come! We are so greatful to still have him here and praise God for his and our life everyday-what a learning experience!
No because you are setting him up for a big big disappointment if he has to go back on. Make him a cake. Keep it low key just in case. Don't get his hopes up. Be positive, but be careful. I have learned from experience.
I would do something small-scale vs having a big party. Allow him to play on the monkey bars, or pick his favorite dinner. If there is any doubt that he might not be totally free of this medication, I wouldn't do the party.
I think I would do a special dinner with snacks that he's not allowed to eat now (only one I can remember affecting the blood at the moment is Twizzlers).
My ex went through something similar and had to take coumadin when he was a teen and finally went to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. He'd spent months with other doctors and had a diagnosis there within 5 minutes that got him off the blood thinners and living a normal life. Just know you're in my thoughts as I remember what that was like (even though I was the girlfriend, not the mom). Good luck!
I think a party is a great idea, but I would call it a "Welcome to Summer" party so as not to give off the impression that everything is well when in fact it is not. Just a time to get together with friends and family and have a good time and not think about the medical issues for a little while. Your son will probably love it!
How about setting it up about a characteristic party theme?
This time is about being Brave. It doesn't focus about the illness necessarily, in fact it could be celebrated by all members of the family.
They could give testimony about a time they were brave and how it turned out. From illness and injury to school years, to riding a roller coaster, to marriage. Bring pictures and share. Heck, dress up in costumes if you want! Maybe like the movie,Brave, or like a Native American Brave.
May he live long and God speed his healing!
I think your last sentence says it all! You want to have a party to celebrate how well and brave his is being, and that you still have him. Even if its not an end of all that has been going on, it IS a celebration that has been earned and you should totally celebrate! Have your party and enjoy your family, friends, and kiddo!
I would just give him an end-of-school party and you can discuss his getting over this hurdle with the adults. At his age, let him focus on being a kid. I know he understands that he's on medication and he's sick. But let him have an event that doesn't revolve around it.
I will pray for your family. As a child with a disability, I know what it's like to wonder what "exactly" is wrong.
Hugs, smiles, and prayers for you!
What about an end of school year/he's been brave party? I wouldn't focus on him being off thte coumadin... If it calls for a party, that means it's horrible to be on it emphasized in his mind so if he has to go back on it, it'll probably seem worse. But some kind of party for him being a good kid and end of the year seems like a fun thing. I hope they figure it out soon. I'm sure this is super tough... My dad has been on it but he's in his 80's and he hates it.
Part of me says to just scale it back and do something fun he'd enjoy like a Zoo and dinner at his fav restaurant. However, he's 6 - he'd love a party. Just be sure that, no matter which you decide to do, that you take the time to explain to him what might happen in the future. But be positive - coming off may not mean you will never have to be on it again, but, since you're off - let's party!!!
Enjoy and all the best to you guys!
You kinda answered your own question. The answer being no. You say he' s by no means out of the woods. A party to celebrate gives the impression that he and everyone has come to an end and a new beginning which for the most part it isn't. You're still waiting to find out exactly what's going on with him. (I get the feeling it is not arthritis, even if it's diagnosed that way.)
When is his B-day? Maybe you should consider making that one extra special and invite everyone instead of just kids. Or maybe have a celebration at another point once you see how things go and things get to a kind of ending point. You may want to consider just having a special picnic inviting your family at a park, like a family reunion thing. Or a get-together with your family members to have a cook out and just celebrate each other, just a party to have a party.
I think the more important point here is letting him know how precious he is to you each day. Tell him what a delight he is to both you and God. That he is a bless little boy and such. Give him the beauty and magic of the world with you and in nature as much as you can, celebrate each day as new. Have some special little verses and songs that you sing together. Lay down next to him in the morning before he wakes and hold him. When he opens his eyes tell him you love him and tell him,"morning has come and night is away, welcome the sun and greet the day." Little things like that that make it more warming and lovely.
I'm sorry to see you go through this and you sweet boy. This must be terribly hard. I can't imagine it for the most part. I send you prayers for love, life, healing, joy and comfort. Keep yourself as positive as you can and remain in the Light and Love of the Lord.
I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I can only imagine how difficult this has been for the entire family.
I'd lean away from the party only because if he needs to go back on the medicine, it may seem like a bigger let-down, especially for your son. One minute everyone is cheering for him and then next it's a major downer. May seem harder to take if you've just had a huge party over the issue and then face a setback.
I would make it a personal celebration with just your immediate family. Get a cake, go out to dinner and make it a special day without going over the top.
By the way, that's super news on the potential referral to UC Davis. They have a stellar reputation in our area.
ETA: If you can keep the focus entirely on your son and how brave he's been, then by all means, throw a big party! I just wouldn't tie it in any way to him getting off of the medication.
Of course have a party! Celebrate his life and how brave he is. I know many parents who have end of chemo end of radiation or welcome home parties even though everyone including the child is aware there are more challenges ahead. I think if you tell him it's a celebration of coming through this part of treatment he will not have a problem understanding future therapy. It's not a promise of no more meds it is a joyous celebration of his life. Have an awesome time! You all deserve it!
Runner:
I'm sorry your son is ill!!! How horrible not having the answers!! Especially when it's something so serious!!
Nope. Personally wouldn't have a party. But then again - I'm not in your shoes so I wouldn't know that stress you are under.
I might do a special dinner to celebrate being off the Coumadin! That's something to celebrate! Yes! But a party? Nope. Just a special dinner.
Congrats on the getting off the Coumadin!! Hope they find out what's causing the clots soon!
A party is always a good idea, however, I wouldn't say it was for celebrating this chapter because it doesn't sound like it is completely over. What if he has to go back on the meds? I would hate for you to set him up for disappointment. I would celebrate summer or end of school.
I completely understand your eagerness to celebrate it just might be a little early. I will keep your family in my prayers!
Bless your heart, mom. What a trial! I'm so sorry your son and your family have been hit with this.
I admit that I would not have a party for the reason that you are wanting one for. Instead, I'd just have a party. You can make it family centric and just say that you want to enjoy others' company.
I know it might sound silly to say that I wouldn't want to "tempt fate", but essentially, I wouldn't.
Your son is quite the little trooper. You are too, mom!!
ptl he's recovering. But no, I wouldn't throw a party. Perhaps allow people to come over one at a time for a quick sit and visit, or even just send out an annoucement.
Heck yes I'd throw a party for him!! But maybe not a "he's off the medicine party" but a "We love Joey" party or something like that. Make it a positive, and don't have him dwell on the medicine stuff and how long you have been enduring this. I'm sure he will love any party that is given in his honor.
I am so sorry that your family and your son has had to go through this. I understand and have been through my share of issues so I can relate. My suggestion would be to have a celebration of how brave and strong he has been. You can mention the medication but you can make the focus your child and say that hopefully you won't have to have him on it again etc.
throw a party. he;s 6 and thats a lot to go through he deserves a party to celebrate being a brave 6 year old and having to go through so much and you deserve to celebrate as well!
I pray that youre done with everything
but if he needs to go back on the meds and has more issues throw another party when thats done as well. Anyone close isnt going to think anything bad if you choose to throw a party. school friends will J. be excited to go to a party.
I agree with Jane! Throw him a party but make it a party celebrating your son all around instead of woo hoo no more meds party. Just in case he has to go back on them.
Yay for your family! I'm so happy you guys have some good news! Congratulations and hugs! And a hug to your boy!
I agree that this idea may backfire if he has to go back on the meds. I would however do something physical that maybe he hasn't been able to do (water park, regular park, something) and invite the family if you want but I wouldn't bill it as a recovery party. This sounds so scary and stressful and I hope for all of your sakes he will be done with the meds and you'll find some answers.
I would do something extra special as a family, like a fun get away weekend, extra special restaurant or something he would love to do. I would let him know how proud you are of your brave little guy and celebrate as a family. Make it about how far he's come with all of this and being such a trooper.
I personally wouldn't do a party at this stage, only because of the unknowns you mentioned. But it definitely is worth celebrating!
Best wishes to you. I have a 6 yr old and I wish you all good health!
I would have a party EVERY TIME we made it through one of those hurdles (end of tests, end of one type of treatment, etc.). If you have other children, I would also celebrate their mini-milestones as well.
Maybe it's premature, but who cares. It's a PAR-TY and kids love 'em!
Prayers to you!
Of course you should celebrate. We don't do it enough. You don't need to celebrate another chapter. Celebrate having a family. Celebrate your familie's strenght and resilience on the day of the party. Celebrate to celebrate. You all deserve it. Those days are the days we remember later. celebrate like there is no tomorrow.
