What Would You Do.... - Downers Grove,IL

My MIL is a jewelry junkie. Me? Not so much.
I think my husband thinks ALL women LOVE jewelry b/c his mom is such a jewelry nut.
I have my favorite classic pieces that I wear all the time.
In the case you've described, I would do just what you're doing (and I do!): wear them occasionally when you can, so he can see them on you!
We can all use a FEW dressy pieces for special occasions, right?

Smile, thank him and wear it occasionally. When it comes to husbands, it's truly the effort that counts, so he gets an A for effort and since it'll be an effort for you to wear it, you ALSO get an A for effort. (^_^)

I would so show it off...especially in front of him so he could smile and feel good. Anyone who knows me (and he'd eventually pick up on this) would know that I didn't care for it but that I was proud of him for doing it on his own.

When he's dead... you'll love it.

And if you divorced him instead... you can have a little victory party and sell the sucker guilt free.

Ugly jewelry is a win/win.

<grin> You just have to look at it in a slightly different way. Someday, it WILL be beautiful to you. Either as a memory of his love that you'll cherish (and your children will cherish), or because it covered your rent.

I wouldn't say a thing and wear it with pride.

Yikes, this is a tough one and I actually have been thru this. My hubby asked me what I wanted for our first anniversary, I told him ONE solitaire diamond earring. Just one...I have one ear pierced twice, the other just once. So for that third earring, I wanted a round, plain, solitaire diamond earring, not too big. I even SHOWED him and made sure he was very clear. So, we go back to where we had our destination wedding for our first anniversary. Right away he says he needs to go to the hotel safe and put in my gift...not the one in the room...but where they keep the BIG valuables...huh???? So long story not so long...he ends up giving them to me because he's excited like a little puppy...I open the box...there are HUGE diamond earrings in there...I mean dressy like red carpet, extravagant, crazy ridiculous huge diamond earrings. Now, I tried not to act shocked that he disregarded what I asked for and *tried* to be happy at what he bought...but I just couldn't do it! I was scared to even wear them and couldn't wear them for every day, like I wanted...and it wasn't a single earring which is what I wanted. I felt like such an unthankful B----. He could tell I wasn't happy (I'm not good at hiding my true thoughts and feelings) and I knew it hurt his feelings. I asked him why he didn't just buy what I asked for and he basically said the sales lady said I would LOVE these...lol!!! Of course! I *do* love them, but they just aren't *me*!!!! I have a huge engagement/wedding ring so I do love flashy big diamonds. So...he did end up taking them back and getting the ONE earring I wanted. The same sales lady was there, and she was not happy that I was trading in $1,800 earrings for ONE for $200...LOL! I have worn that earring in my one ear since that very day and plan to NEVER take it off. =)

I would wear it with pride because HE picked it out especially for me.

From your description, it does not sound like a cheesy piece of jewelry, just not to your specific taste.

I think you have a keeper because he gave you something that came from his heart. Sounds like a great hubby to me!

Short of it being really obnoxious and embarrassing to wear (like really cheesy or gawdy) I'd wear it with absolute delight because I'd know he put so much thought and energy into picking it out.

So many women out there complain they have husbands who let the secretary or the sales woman pick out some generic gift, or they just don't do anything at all. I'd be highly complimented and reassured that things are "solid" and wear it with pride.

I would have just accepted it, because he put a lot of thought into it.
That is what a "present" should be.
And he did that.
And I would wear it, too.

Yes, his feelings may have been hurt. How did he react... when you said "it is not what I would normally wear?" That is like saying you don't like it. I hope he does not think that buying you a present in the future, is a dreaded.... task.

I see women, wearing "dressy" 14K and precious stones jewelry even with their normal everyday clothes. They look great.

My Husband once bought me earrings I did not like. It was drop earrings with pearls. And real ones. With 14K. I don't like pearls.
But he put a lot of thought into it.
So I love them. And I wear it.
Because his thoughts behind it, made it special.

Have you ever seen how happy a dog is when you play fetch with it? When that dog brings the ball back to you they are so proud that they did what you ask but what you have in your hand is a slimy tennis ball....but it is the world to the dog. Think of it like that :o)
Don't look to the jewelry itself for the beauty, look at the thought and excitement it brought to your husband to know he 'did good'.

I would wear it and smile. Just as I would if my child got it for me. I would never tell my husband otherwise. Im a simple girl tho. if someone thinks of me enough to get me something unless its awfully gawdy, and unbearable, I appreciate all gifts.
He probably knows its dressier then normal, and maybe that was the point. for you to have something "nicer". If he wonders why you dont wear it as often tell him that its too dressy for everyday wear. Most men would never pick up on that part anyways.
however on the flip side, I have a friend and I have watched her humiliate her husband for this same thing. She handpicked a jewelry set and it was out of stock so he picked something similar which I thought was just as pretty, but she hit the roof! in front of everyone. oh I felt so bad for her husband and I couldnt believe she was so insensitive. Now we buyu them gift cards for presents, cus we ourselves are scared of what would pass her standards.

Anything my husband surprises me with is beautiful and wonderful - because otherwise, his feelings would be hurt. If something is a bit gaudy or not my style, so what? He put real effort into choosing it for me, and I feel very blessed to have someone so thoughtful, even if our tastes don't always match. I would never tell him that I don't like it or that I would have preferred something else, even though I normally believe in being completely honest with each other. This is one case where it is the thought that counts.

It was his gift to give to you. Its his decision to make. Now, you have beautiful pieces of jewlery that your loving husband bought for you. Also, who knows, it could grow on you and become your favorite!

I think I would have just said thank you for thinking of me and wore it for him. If he really put that much thought into it and cared what you though.

Awww!!
I would keep it! That's sweet and I would love it regardless. :)

Treasure it because it's from HIM, and he put thought and love into it. I can buy my own jewelry occasionally. But if my husband gets me something to be sweet, then I love it for being from his heart. Wear it when you go on a date with him (doesn't have to be an every week thing)....but yeah, I'd make the point of wearing it and loving it even if it wasn't my style.
If something happened and he passed away or lived in a nursing home, or whatever....you'd treasure it more as something he picked out for you, more so than "Aw, this is the thing he gave me money for so I could replace the thing he picked out". Just doesn't have the same sentimental ring to it ya know?

from the tone of your note i would say keep them and treasure his love,

but as some one who's love language is NOT gifts, i just have to pose a what if too you.....

so what if since you didn't say you don't love these, he thinks he did great and since he hit it once now he thinks he has a surefire gift for you and now EVERY anniversary for the rest of your life he presents you with these stones in different settings, earrings, bracelet, a slightly longer bigger necklace etc etc etc. I am living this and it is awful because while you "don't care for it" i hated it from the get go,
Any time i've tried to return or exchange other even littler gifts I am met with the worst hurt feelings and sadness ever, it's just not worth it. so i keep the stuff but i'm not happy about it and everytime i take them out and put them on they make me sad that he doesnt' get me and that it's all about him the giver of the gift and not about me the intended recipient.
sorry you caught me on a bad day with this one.

I've been down that road... Received a heart pendant for my first mother's day with my daughters birth stone. I never wear it. He hasn't noticed that I don't wear it. Then a few years later he bought me a pair of earrings (I LOVE earrings!) that had purple, green and yellow stones in them. They weren't great looking, but not bad either, just not my taste and I had NOTHING I could wear with them so I asked him if he would mind if I exchanged them. This after he said more than once "if you don't like them exchange them. I would rather you have something you like". So I did. That was about 10 years ago and he has never bought me another piece of jewelry. My advice is if you want your hubby to buy you jewelry, keep your mouth shut and let it collect dust in your jewelry box!

I would have graciously accepted it knowing how much thought my husband put into buying it and I would wear it proudly.
I wouldn't have even said it's not something I would normally wear. My husband would have picked up on that right away and it would have hurt his feelings.

i wouldve done the same thing u did ... if he was so excited and put so much thought into it theres no way i wouldve been able to crush him and say yeah i dont like this.. i feel like that would be so mean.. and like u said its not something ud wear everyday anyway so really its not a big deal.. if u guys go out to dinner or some special occasion then wear it

I would wear it and nothing else as often as you'd like a little....well, you know. He loved it and put a lot of thought into it. Next time you have a little money buy yourself something more your style but as for this? Bite the bullet and make him feel awesome and manly.

Mums the word on this one. I would smile and wear it proudly! Good thinking.

A couple of years ago I got my husband a soccer shirt from the team Chivas. (If you are follower of Mexican soccer, you will understand my OOPS). My husband is a fan of the team America. America and Chivas are rivals. I did not really know there was a rivalry there but thought that he would be so stoked to get a team jersey! Boy was I wrong. He tried to tell me it was ok....BUT HE NEVER WORE THE SHIRT! lol. Came to find out, years later, that he actually gave that shirt to someone that is a fan of that team. I wish he would have told me that he wasn't all that excited about it so that we could have returned it and got him something he really liked!
My husband has got me a few things the past 10 years that I have not liked and I have no problem returning it. I figure, he wants ME to like it, right? Just like I want HIM to like the things I get him.
L.

I would definitely still wear it, especially since he put a lot of thought into it. And, you may find that it ends up growing on you and you'll want to wear it more and more often.

"It's dressy so it's not like I can wear it everyday anyway." So just wear it when the situation calls for it.

Your response to the gift was appropriate.

My husband always goes with diamonds because those are no fail. But anymore pieces he would get me I'd have to put aside for special occassions. I enjoy wearing the necklace, earrings, and rings he has gotten me daily. He knows I want more pieces though - just to have some for speciall occassions, and I'd like a set of pearls too.

I think you handled it correctly. Wear it when the time is appropriate. I kind of think we dress to please our husbands...and before anyone takes that wrong. I wear what I am comfortable in, but I enjoy when my husband likes how I look also. If that makes sense. If he liked the jewlery...I'd wear it.

I think you did the right thing. I would not exchange it...but I'd wear them on date nights with my hubby.

I use these opportunities to do something that I would not normally do. Unless it is ghastly, I think that you should think of it as just something to give your wardrobe a spark that you wouldn't have thought of on your own.

I'd say thank you and wear it with pride. I'd go the further step of getting outfits to go with it and play it up along with making plans for wearing it intentionally.

Your husband put some time and thought into it and that is priceless. Treasure that and at some other time show him the kinds of styles and stones you do like.

You handled this like a wise woman should. Thank you and Happy Anniversary.

The fact that he was all excited about it and liked it on you, and not wishy washy asking if you like it or not, would tell me to smile, thank him, and wear it. In his mind and heart, he' certain he picked the perfect thing and he might be crushed if you don't like it. You are lucky to have a husband to pick this out for you and be so enthused to give it to you! Congrats on your anniversary!

I would do the same thing you did. I wouldn't be able to return it, especially if he was excited about it. Sometimes, my husband buys me things that I think I don't really like at first,but then they end up being some of my favorite pieces :)

I have being on that situation too, not only with my husband but with my daughter too.
I kept them, use them and told them how much I appreciate it.
On another day I have show things I liked, they have got to know my "style" better with the time...unfortunately we have being saving so it also hasn't being a problem in a long time because of this too, LOL!
However, some pieces that I didn't like them much in the biggining, I have like them later and some I use them now because I truly like them, so keep them you may like them later.

I got pearl earrings in a configuration I don't care for. I wear them sometimes, as they are not something DH can return. I figure we are all off the mark sometimes (he was so excited to get new safety glasses....and I got the wrong ones....) and wearing them occasionally makes him happy. They aren't BAD, they're just not ME.

Given that these are not every day pieces anyway, I think you handled it perfectly.

I would have just said, "Thank you! It's lovely." and worn it once in a while for special occasions.

My DH never buys me jewelry...so if he did...I'd probably do exactly what you did.
My father buys my mother jewelry ALL THE TIME...and she exchanges it at least 50% of the time. Lol.
Not sure if that helps or not...but that's my $.02 :)

I would wear it! My dad is like that, he buys my mom clothes and jewelry, mostly clothes, and it takes him a while to pick them out but he's so proud of the job he does. He also gets the sizes wrong too. He gets so sad when she would take it back, because he things she would look good in it. Over the years she tells him thank you, and wears it, however, when he does get the wrong sizes, which is usually smaller than the size she is, she sneaks it back and gets the right size.
One year, my sister got me an outfit that was way too small for me, I had told my dad I was going to take it back, and he told me; "NO, she picked that out for you, just lose some weight and wear it." Well, I never got to wear it...
Even though it's not what you would like or you may even find you don't think you look good in it, he probably see the most beautiful woman in the world wearing it!

It's all about how your husband would respond to the feedback. My husband would much prefer to know and would want me to have something I'd like and would actually wear. He wouldn't want his gift to be tucked away and not worn. We've grown to appreciate each others honesty. We don't take offense but rather learn from the experience.

This has actually worked in my favor several times. When he is stumped for an anniversary gift, he will give me the budgeted money and send me off to the jewelry store. A girl's best dream come true!

I've been in that same position. I told my husband exactly what I wanted and got nowhere near that. I said I liked it. He had it custom made and was so proud. So I wore it from time to time. And now I haven't worn it in years. He doesn't ask about it either. So just smile, wear it and make him happy.

Updated

I've been in that same position. I told my husband exactly what I wanted and got nowhere near that. I said I liked it. He had it custom made and was so proud. So I wore it from time to time. And now I haven't worn it in years. He doesn't ask about it either. So just smile, wear it and make him happy.

I would not let him know you dislike it. I could not hide my disappointment over a necklace my husband bought and I will never forget how disappointed he was.

Because my husband of almost 9 years has never bought me jewelry, I'd say Thank You and leave it at that. Count your blessings! :)

(my husband is perfect in every other way though - just had to add).

If my husband did that, I would always treasure it. If your kids did that you would do the same.