What Would You Do? - Potomac,MD

Why can't she be in the 4 yr old class this year?
I think putting her in with 3 yr olds would be putting her too far back.
Read to her a lot (anything Dr Seuss is good).
Give it a try but I'm not liking what I hear about this school already.
It might be wise to have an alternate school in mind in case this place doesn't work out.

I very clearly remember starting kinder and not knowing a word of English. I picked it it up very quickly. It's really not a big deal and I bet by the time she starts kinder it won't even be an issue. She will pick it up quickly so I would keep her with her age group.

You've only had her for a few months, right? Think about how much language she has already acquired!

I would think it would be better to keep her with her age peers....

If she were an "English Language Learner" where the home language was NOT English, it would take her longer to acquire English. However, she is in an English speaking home, so her language skills will bloom more rapidly.

If at the end of this year, or the beginning of the next year, and they re-evaluate her, you can re-think the decision and hold her back.

I think you are right on this one. When I started kindergarten, my English wasn't very good because my parents didn't speak it at home. But by the end of the year, I was on par with everyone else and even got accepted to the gifted program.

One problem with private schools is that they don't have the resources to help children for whom English is their second language. I think you're daughter will be fine. If she still struggles by the end of kindergarten, you always have the option of enrolling her in public school so that she receives any additional help she might need.

A four and a half year old shouldn't be in the same class as three year olds. What is that school administrator thinking??? Good luck!

Wow, I would keep her with the kids her own age for sure. If this is a private school that you are paying big money for, I would expect that the staff would take some extra effort to help her in the language part of her education. That is what you are paying for in a private school environment right?...the extra one-on-one time.

First rule of parenting is to go with your gut. Children pick up the language very quickly and you have seen her interact in situations where she needs to follow directions. The school is going on what they feel but you need to act on what you know.

We adopted our daughter from China at 11 months, but her friend was adopted at age 6! She didn't speak a word of English when they adopted her. Her parents stuck her right in 1st grade where she was supposed to be. She was fluent in months. I met her the next year and she was speaking English slang like a native. Very popular with the other kids.

My brother moved to France and stuck his English speaking son in class at the right age level. My friends moved to Germany last year and have just moved to Sweden -- it's no question that their kids are going into school at the correct grade level. You never hold a child back agrade level ONLY because English is their second language. I attended a private school, so don't take offense, but methinks this private school has no clue what they are doing in this regards.

If you need support, I'm sure your adoption agency can back you up. Even though you adopted locally, the agency probably is accustomed to dealing with international adoptions and can provide research for you to share with the school.

The school should not be planning the next several years for a 4 yr old anyway. Holy schmoly! Some kids don't even go to preschool! She should be speaking English fine by the end of next year and totally ready for kindergarten. Why on earth are they planning kindergarten right now? And seriously?? She won't fit in with the other 4 yr olds? 4 yr olds are all over the place. Unless this is a class for 4 yr old rocket scientists, she'll fit in just fine among the 4 yr olds who are reading, subtracting, and talking politics, and the 4 yr olds who wet their pants every 5 min., still can't clearly speak their own native English language, and can't tell the difference between the letter A and the last booger they just ate.

What school have you enrolled her in?

What would **I** do? I would follow my gut and put her where I feel she needs to be. If she is interacting fine with gymnasts? I would keep her in her age bracket.

I would also make sure she doesn't lose her Croatian language. Having more than one language is important. So I would learn Croatian and work on keeping her native tongue alive as well. Kids are really good. They are adaptable.

Also - stop referring to her as your adopted daughter. She's yours. You signed on the dotted line - she's YOUR DAUGHTER...

I would allow her to stay in her age appropriate class. Language is so much easier to learn when they are very young. She will be fine, and frankly, I tend to think that placing her with her same age-mate kids will enhance her learning of the language. Stick her with a bunch of 3 year olds who don't have the best verbal skills already, and how does THAT help her learn English?
4 year old friends will talk. A lot. And she will learn. Quickly. 3 yr olds... some of this age group cannot even speak plainly themselves.

Go with your gut. You do still always have the option to keep her in with the 4 year olds next year rather than moving on to Kindergarten. I just don't see how that will be where she'll be by then though... (needing to be kept back, I mean). She'll be ready, just like her classmates. :)

I would keep her with her own age group. She'll pick up the spoken language better if she hears English spoken, and four year olds speak a lot more than three year olds. Besides, at that age kids don't care if other kids sound a little funny. They do so much imaginative play and active play that language won't be a barrier.

I do not think that is a good idea. Most very young kids pick up a new language very quickly. Maybe a different school for this year and then next year for this private school for real Kindergarten.

Keep in mind I usually give advice to hold the child when a parent writes here wondering if their child with an August or October b-day should start kindergarten at age 4 almost 5. I say go ahead and give them the gift of time and hold them until they are 5 almost 6. In your case your daughter will be 6 going on 7.

Put your child in the age appropriate class. If its too much she can be moved. Kids are very resilient. The fact that the school is "intimidating" you and your wife is to me a concern. Have you looked at other schools?

I don't think putting her with three year olds is the best plan. Keep her with the 4 yr olds. Kids learn languages very, very quickly. Have her watch a lot of Sesame Street at home. Even adults learn English by watching that.

We're talking preschool; not kindergarten this year. I wrote the below thinking she was going into kindergarten.

I suggest that most kids that age would've caught up language wise in a year if living in an English Speaking home. Perhaps something else is going on that would mean starting in the younger classroom would benefit her. She has had a very stressful beginning in life. Being behind in language may add to that stress If she's shy and withdrawn. Is she as socially mature as the aaverage 4 yo?

I would have her evaluated by a child psychologist. I would ask how to also have her language evaluated. Does she understand language well but has difficulty responding, for example. I suggest that only a specialist would be able to possibly know how important her placement in a lower grade would be. I suggest you need to consider psychological issues as well as language issues.

I think both you and I may be overthinking this. Smile. Because I adopted a child at age 7 I'm more aware of trauma related issues. I adopted thru the state. Because my new soon to be daughter was having some behavior issues the state did have her evaluated. This reassured me about a successful adoption. Bonding is a major concern. Has anyone talked with you about your children's ability to bond? The report also guided me in knowing how to meet her needs some of which were different because of her early trauma.

If your daughter is adjusting well to your home I would suggest reading about child development. I wonder if the school is talking about language but are also considering social development.

As others have suggested she can start with the 4 year olds and if she has difficulty be moved to the 3 yo room. Do you trust that the staff does have have her best interest at heart? You might want to consider a different school if your sense of what is best in other ways is widely different than yours. What does your gut say.

One reason I thought your question was about kindergarten is I'm unfamiliar with testing for preschool. I know very little about private schools for this age. My thought is that they are a status symbol with a focus on academics. I suggest that because of your daughter's history she needs an emphasis in social learning.

I routinely talked with a child therapist who helped me navigate parenting when my daughter was young. I was also coached by an adoption counselor for over a year after my daughter moved in. You've asked several questions about parenting. I'm glad to see that. I wonder if talking with a counselor/therapist would help you.

I would go with your gut and start her out in the group for her age. If she flounders in that group, you can always re-evaluate and move her back to the younger group at a later date.

One of my sons has a friend who moved here from Brazil in 2nd grade and she knew no English when she started school in January. She took all of her classes in English with no one translating for her. Her classmates prepared for her arrival by learning a few Portuguese phrases to make her feel comfortable but other than that, she was immersed in English. By April, she knew enough English that she was comfortable having play dates at other people's houses and could communicate just fine. Within 6 months, she was totally fluent. It's astounding how quickly kids absorb language. I bet that with being in school and speaking English at home, she'll get up to speed quickly.

Hi T.,

We give school administrators too much authority. You know your child best. If YOU think things aren't going well enough, then YOU can hold her or send her back. Trust your gut!

M.

Work with the school and see if you can find a tutor to work with her on her language skills. Maybe after school a few times a week.

Since it is a private school, you may have to pay for the service but at least she could stay in that class.

I would keep her where she is if academically she is equal. I have known children that grew up speaking one language and once they really got involved, they picked up English right away. They had some issues with it since we have so many words for the same thing or words that sound the same meaning totally different. One little girl grew up in Asia--cannot remember exactly--and by the middle of the year, she was totally equal.

i have issues with schools who rely slavishly on testing. testing is one way of gathering data, but it's not the be-all and end-all and kids don't always conform to the testing boxes.
and while i also am frequently taken aback by parents who refuse expert advice, it's equally damaging to follow it obediently even when it flies in the face of your experience and knowledge of YOUR child.
i mean- she's 4. she's already making great strides with the language, and seems to have no issues in any developmental category. i can't think of any good reason for this child to be put in a class with younger kids. (i also have issues with 'age appropriate' but since there aren't any multi-age options available in most schools, it's a moot point in this case.)
khairete
S.

Trust your "gut". You know your child better than anybody else. When my daughter was in 7th grade she was making good grades in her Pre-algebra class and really wanted to take advanced algebra. Her teacher at the time would not sign off on it and said that my daughter hadn't tested in the correct range on standardized testing to be considered for the advanced class. I kept pushing and went straight to the counselor. My daughter not only taught herself the course she needed to catch up over the summer, but she also excelled in the advanced class and has been in AP ever since. I knew she could do it, so I am so glad I didn't take that teacher's word for it.

Her language will most likely improve by leaps and bounds once she is in the classroom setting. And the difference between 3 and 4 is a pretty big jump peer wise.

At this age, a year is a huge difference develomentally between 3 and 4 year olds. my gut tells me to put her in with kids her own age. My son, who was adopted from the Philippines, also had a speech delay...he went to preschool at age 3 in a classroom with other 3 year olds...he did fine...he also had speech therapy --I'm not saying your daughter needs speech therapy-- but listen to what "that little voice" is telling you. You may want to check out your local public school system and have them evaluate her.

Good luck

Children should be with their age-appropriate peers in most circumstances. So while I recommend placing her in her age group, I also recommend getting an evaluation by your local school system. I would request (in writing) a complete evaluation (not just language). It's free. It will provide you with a profile of her learning strengths and weakness and provide you with a baseline for further decisions. And I'd also suggest that while learning English as a second language is often quickly accomplished by young children, some need help, just as some children who only speak English need help. This evaluation would help separate whether this is an English learning issue or a language learning issue. If she needs a little help, the school system could provide it . All my best.

Why don't you let her continue where she is and work with her or hire an English tutor?

Kids will pick up a new language much faster then an adult.

If they did not administer the language skills test in her first language, they did not, legally, give her the correct test. Check out the FAPE laws, and possibly 507? One of these definitely applies in this situation. Of course, being a private school, they may very well be exempt from these laws.

Hi, T.,

You all are the parents. You assess her abilities and the tests proved her
to be adequate with the tests.

I would ask the Administrator what kind of retribution will you as parents receive from the school if you don't comply with their wishes?

The government is trying to take away the rights of parents. This is an example.

Good luck.
D.

I would not be in favor of this plan either. There's a big social difference between 3 yr olds and 4 year olds., especially girls. Young children pick up languages quite easily. She should be able to catch up just through immersion. If that's even necessary in pre-K. Montgomery County public schools are excellent and provide services for free if she needs it when she enters kindergarten next year.

Contavt the school district where you live. Explaim that she is newly adopted..and her langusge skills are low...see if they can evsluate her..and possibly provide free intervention to help her catch up. There were many kids who started kindergarten with no english language but they learn fast and by first grade they are fine...
But try to get her help now...