What Was This?!? - Weird and Awkward Situation

Updated on July 09, 2012
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
16 answers

Race is involved in this story, but not in an expected way. This was very weird and uncomfortable, and I'd like some input on whether this was just a freaky woman, or a dynamic that I just didn't get.

So I'm heading home from a trip on the trolley with my son. We're taking the train. It's very light people wise, maybe 8 people in a 22 person car. About 2 stops before ours, two separate guys get on. Each one has a bike. Both do not hang their bikes up. One is a young black male who pulls to the other side of the car, in front of the door (I assume he is getting off soon); one is a slightly older hispanic male,who pulls over into the aisle on the far side of the car. I am a middle aged white woman.

At the next stop, an older middle aged black woman in a scooter gets on and just jumps all over the young black man. Totally gives him a hard time for being where he is, doesn't let him get a word in, and blasts over him if he tries to tell her anything. She proceeds to CALL THE transport people to report him for not hanging his bike up. I was shocked, the woman next to me was shocked, we were pretty freaked out by this woman and kind of afraid to ask her to cut it out. My stop was coming up, and the young man was getting off (just as I thought), but he couldn't get his bike prepped to move because miss "you're in the way" was BLOCKING THE WAY - she actually blocked the door because she was too busy verbally attacking the young man. I had to help him move his front wheel so he could get his kickstand down because she wouldn't move. We left together, and I told him how sorry I was that she lit into him and that she was totally wrong in her attitude. He thanked me and brushed her behavior off.

I don't know what was happening, if it was racial on her part or what, because she didn't say ONE WORD to the other guy with a bike who was taking up as much space, and blocking the aisle. And she refused to see that SHE was blocking the door. Any clue as to the dynamics of this? It was just really weird.

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So What Happened?

No transit people came. I even tried to call them in case they did show up. Thank goodness nothing came of it. I was wondering if it was a case of "everybody's mother" as one respondent called it. I'm glad it was only a couple minutes. If he hadn't gotten of with me, I would have stayed on in case the dart police came to make sure he wasn't given any grief.

Thanks for throwing some perspective out there. :)

Featured Answers

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

IF there was race involved, it was probably more of a black woman to a young black man, she felt she had a moral responsibility to talk to him about his actions. Some of the older black women I know tend to feel they are "everybody's mother" and that it is more of a village attitude and feel it is acceptable to do something like this hence her saying it to the black person vs the hispanic. Honestly, I would move on.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Really, I think she was a head case. It probably had nothing to do with race, and everything to do with her mental state. She likely saw him first, so he was the victim.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

From your description of this, I think that she blew this young man out because they are the same race and she was acting like she was his mother or grandmother. I don't think she would have said anything to a person of a different race.

I guess she thought of him as one of her "own". Those are the dynamics I would read from that.

Perhaps he will hang up his bike next time.

You were wonderful, by the way...

Dawn

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't think race had to do with it. I think maybe since he was by the door, he was the first one she saw and she didn't look past him to see the other guy. She probably has had issues before with people and their bikes on the bus, given that they can get in the way when your trying to manuever a scooter.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

It is possible he was the first one she saw and she had issues with bikers blocking her way with her scooter. Clearly she wasn't rational so nothing can really be properly attributed.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Maybe they were filming that "What would you do?" show ;)

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

I'd say it was more a "disabled" thing than anything else. Disabled people can get really ... Well I dont even know the adjective to use for it. Anyway, they have their reasons for entitlement and pretty much make sure they get to have it.
Just so you know: 90% of Americans are born without a disability, but 50% will have one before they die.
The disabled have an agenda for a reason and are paving the way for those of us that do not currently have one. Food for thought.

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

I don't see why race had anything to do with the story. Some people are just crazy.

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S.Q.

answers from Bellingham on

Nothing to do with race. Sounds like a cranky nutbag with a chip on her shoulder. They come in all varieties of shapes, colours, ages and sizes. Maybe she'd had a hard morning and felt like taking it out on a young whipper-snapper. Maybe she'd just been told she had cancer and couldn't control her emotions... Who knows?

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Race has nothing to do with this story at all. She was just an angry and possibly crazy woman. To Clay B specifically, this story is about an Angry Woman. What you said was not nice.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

You have just experienced the Angry Black Woman. We experienced her on a plane once after my wife tried to mention that her stuff was encroaching on my wife's foot space, and she lit into her. We traded seats. It's not racist or cliche, but it's a fact. I'm not black, but I would be interested in a black person's perspective on the matter.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

It COULD be a cultural thing -
As a teacher, I noticed the African American grandmother's holding their grandson's to VERY high standards for respect - also - African American teachers being much harder on African American males than on other students.

Coming on the bus, seeing a young, able bodied black guy keeping his bike down so that she, an elder, did not have a place, would have looked very disrespectful. She wouldnt say anything to the Hispanic guy because she doesnt expect anything better out of him.

Part of her yelling was also aimed at improving the young man's character. She doesnt care about the Hispanic guy so she would not waste her time. However, she wants the African American young man to be a fine, upstanding man.

Funny thing is, if they had been on the train a little longer together, she probably would have whipped a snack out of her purse to share with him.

OR - she could have just been a crazy nut - there are plenty of all colors out there.

PLEASE - any African American readers - correct me if I am wrong.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Some people are just rude.
As for the handicapped bathroom story below -- handicapped bathrooms are not RESERVED for the handicapped. They are available for the handicapped.
YMMV
LBC

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

This reminds me of the time I was in the ladies room (if it makes a difference, it was at a professional organization, so everyone who was in that place should have been at least, well, professional-acting and choosing to be there, not trapped there by circumstances or grumpily hating where they were). There were only two stalls in this busy bathroom and there was a short line. One stall was the (slightly) larger handicapped stall. Yes, when there are only two stalls and a line, and no visibly handicapped person present or asking to move ahead of us to use the handicapped stall, we all do use that handicapped stall, agreed?

Well, an older woman in a wheelchair rolled in. She took one look at the stall, realized it was occupied, clearly saw the line, and then growled very loudly, "I hope whoever is in that handicapped stall comes out LIMPING!" Those of us in the line were pretty appalled. Anyone would have let her go ahead of us to use that stall, but she was loudly carping at the person who was already inside when she entered the bathroom and who could have had NO idea that a person in a wheelchair was coming in, and who likely was nearly done anyway....

There was a flurry of activitiy in the stall as the person clearly heard the comment and was trying to get out quickly.

And when the woman emerged from the handicapped stall, everyone could see that she was hugely pregnant!

The pregnant lady quietly said something apologetic to the room in general and clearly was so embarrassed. I know I felt horrid for her -- she should not have been called out like that. And the woman in the wheelchair sailed into the handicapped stall still fuming and grumbling with zero apparent shame that she had spoken like that and the stall user had turned out to be this gigantically pregnant woman, who surely had great need!

So: Being handicapped doesn't mean being understanding, I guess. Yeah, the biker should have hung up his bike, but as you noted -- few folks in the car, maybe he was getting off very soon. And to his credit, he did not fuss back at the woman, and he thanked you later for your concern.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think it was racial. She didn't call him any slurs, correct? She sounds nuts to me. I don't know the rules of your transit system, but it seems to me, if bikes are supposed to be out of the way, scooters should be as well.

Here, things like that have to be mounted on a special rack on the front our buses. People with wheel chairs, scooters and such either have to request special transportation or sit in special areas away from the aisles where they can block doors and such.

I'm guessing the rules must be similar for your transit system...there are fire and evacuation concerns, right? With that said, she's probably a looney, and unfortunately, that kid was the victime du jour.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

We are living in a world gone mad! That is the only explanation I have.

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