What to Tell Your Kids When the Cat Is Lost?

Tell them the truth.

Honesty is key.... if you start covering things up like this now in order to shield them/"protect their feelings".....things have the potential to be much worse down the road. If you are not honest with them = they can't trust you and that is the last thing you need when raising children.

Tell them the cat is lost because that is what it is. If they ask you if the cat will come back... you do not know.

"The cat is lost." "I don't know where he is." "No, I don't know if he will come home." "Yes, he could be with another nice family right now."

Keep it simple and truthful.

I was NOT told the truth when I was 5 and our cat went missing. It was the worst thing my mother could have done. I thought the cat ran away because I had been too rough with it -- I had been trying to swing it on the swing -- and I blamed myself and was traumatized by the cat's loss for months. It's one of those losses that still haunts me, because I can recall how terrible I felt. I believe some of my anxiety and a certain need for control stem from that and a couple other key events in my life where things weren't discussed and I was not told the truth.

When I was an adult I brought up the cat incident, and I was shocked to finally learn that the cat had been hit by a car, and dragged itself home before dying. My mother thought she was sparing my feelings, but I would have been spared SO much suffering if she had told me the truth.

The truth is almost always the best route.

Tell them the truth. Tell them that the cat went outside and somehow got lost. Maybe he wandered away or maybe someone took him to live at their house. Tell the kids that you've looked very hard to find him but you just can't find him. Because of their ages I wouldn't include the notion that he might have become dinner for some other wildlife in your area.

I've gone through this a few times and honesty is always the best.

So sorry for your loss....

And, yes, I agree, tell them the truth ...and due to their ages, keep it simple...

Tell them the truth, it's better to help them learn coping skills then to tell lies.

You just tell them the cat is lost.
It's the truth.

Just be honest. The four year old may be the only one "affected" but honestly young children get over this kind of thing a whole lot quicker than we adults do.

And sorry about your loss :-(

Tell them the truth. That the cat is missing. That you've tried to find him. That you aren't sure he'll ever be back. Let them ask questions.

We had a cat gone for almost 3 weeks before a neighbor spotted him. I hope the same for you, that he comes home soon. Keep checking with the neighbors and putting up flyers and contacting animal control/pound/rescues.

ETA: While it seems less damaging to say "he ran away" vs "he got over the fence and died", I think that being honest is important. My parents pretended that they gave our dog to a friend "just while we moved" and later admitted they gave him away permanently. We didn't get to say good bye and I am still a little angry about it. When our cats died in my grandmom's care, sure it hurt to know that they didn't die nicely, but it also strengthened my resolve to never again have outdoor cats. Even in suburban areas there is antifreeze and one cat got caught in a bear trap. If the dogs are vicious, then the kids need to know to stay away from them, IMO. I'm not mad at my grandmom. I'm just sad that our cats died by non-natural means.

Tell the truth, and then, support them in being sad. You might find that your youngest is unfazed, the older ones may have questions. Answer only what they ask, and do that as simply as possible. "Kitties sometimes go too far and lose their way and it's really sad when that happens. It would be nice if Kitty came home, but we shouldn't expect that to happen." Let them mourn Kitty's loss as a death if need be, because it is for them. I think it would be harder to keep up a 'wait and see' attitude for the kids... they are all so young, just being definitive-- even though it hurts-- is far better.

And I'm so sorry for you, too. Our beloved cat died last year and that was hard for us, even though we were expecting it. It's so hard when one of our 'family' leaves us.

Tell them the cat is lost. But don't loose hope. My friends cat just came home after being gone 2.5 weeks. When it was clear our cat wasn't coming home I told them I was pretty sure someone nice found him and is taking good care of him. Although I don't think that's the truth. lol

Answer their questions.

the truth.
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khairete
S.

Sorry to hear this, and I hope your cat makes it home. We had one that came back after 2 months when I was a kid.

I would just keep it simple and not get into too much information. When our cat died, I just said our cat had died. Let them lead the questions. I was all prepared with what I was going to say to break it to them but when I said "do you have anything you want to know?" they said "Nope.".

At first I thought that was odd, but they were little and they accepted it. About a week later, I got a couple of questions. I just was honest and kept it really simple.

Good luck and I really hope your cat comes home.

** A trick people in our neighborhood have tried (and some have had success) is to leave the cat's litter box (with the cat's droppings in it) on your back deck at night. Not sure why, but in 2 cases the cats have come back.

I agree with the truth.

You may still find your cat..... we have a cat that has gone missing twice. The first time she was gone for 2 months, the second time, she was gone for 1 month.

She is a very timid indoor only housecat that accidentally got out...when she did get out, she got scared and bolted.... we found her about 1/2 mile away in a different subdivision, living in the storm drains. She is so timid that she won't even come to us, so we have to borrow a live trap and trap her.

At any rate, tell the kids that she is missing, and you are trying to find her. Let them ask.....

Yes, it is hard to find a missing cat, but not impossible.

K.,

What's wrong with just answering their questions? If they ask - where did kitty go? You can state as you did that kitty went on an adventure.

If they ask if he will come home? Simply put - I don't know.

Are we going to look for him? Simply put - yes, we can go look. Then ask them where they think he might have gone.

Let them know that while your kitty was "domesticated" - he's an animal and animals CAN take off sometimes.

Our cat got too curious... jumped over the fence to the neighbors yard... one of their 3 dogs got him.

I told the kids he got a kitty girlfriend and ran off to the hills to be with her (not with conviction, just as if that was what I thought was most likely, you know, cuz cats like totally do that all the time).

I didn't want them to harbor any anger or fear toward the neighbors, or their dogs. Plus it just seemed kind of romantic, and vague. My oldest definitely got that this scenario was just a happier way to imagine it ending than the alternatives (coyotes, which is common where we live, or cars).

So sorry this has happened.

I would tell the truth, but I think it's important to recognize the point made below that you don't want the kids to think it ran away because one of them pulled its tail or something like that. You also don't want them to think that, if they got lost, you wouldn't look for them.

t would open up some hope that the cat is alive but saying that some animals choose to live in the woods like their wild "cousins" (bobcats, etc.) or that there are some people who take them in to feed them if they are lost. That covers you if the cat ever comes back as well as if it doesn't ("maybe a new family is caring for it" or "maybe it's really an outside cat and went to live in the woods"). I don't think you have to go into the bad things that might have befallen it.

I agree, as said below, that the 1 year old won't get it, the 3 year old might, and the 4 year old might have the most sensitivity. However, don't be surprised if they soon move on with their lives and forget about it. That's pretty typical for those ages. Little by little, I would collect the cat's things, first to "wash them" (bowl, bed, litter box) or to "store them" (toys, other accessories). See if the kids notice over time, or if they just get used to the new situation with the lack of reminders. If the cat does return (which I hope it does), you will still have the items in storage and all ready to be put to use again.

Do use social media to post photos or descriptions, notify local shelters and animal control (hopefully the cat has tags or microchip), and let your neighbors know.

You tell them that the cat got lost and that you are going to try to find her. That's really all you CAN tell them unless you want to lie to them.

They are 4,3, and 1. It's not like they truly will get it. Just say it's missing.