Hi S.,
I adore birds, and think they are awesome pets!
I understand your dilemma with giving your bird all the love and attention he needs, while still having the family you and your hubby desire :)
Our two boys share a bedroom ("Fair" is not an issue: they are kids, and need to learn to share and be together: they are part of a family, not individuals). Beyond that, my husband and I have often discussed what we would do if we got another bird, and our best solution has been we would either have to move, or add-on a sunroom just for the bird.
Seriously, people misjudge how much space, stimulation, and attention birds really need just to survive, not to mention living happily in a family! This sounds very complicated, and I wish you LUCK!
t