Alright, well hubby and I had a talk, he finnaly agreed to joint custody long as I put it down in writing that I won't run off with our child. Rolls eyes. I had not plan on it in the first place lest he forced me to. Anyways. What do I do next? Well he says I can stay here till I can get a place to live and what not, worked on how I would get a car and what not.. ect.. Anyways. Now the question is what finiacial aid can or should I ask for. being a stay a home mum I don't have anything right now. No money, no job just yet, ect. I am looking into low income housing, the question is, I don't have money in the first place, can I still aply for it and could I still get a place like this if I will only have joint custody? What other programs can I apply to. Should I apply solely by myself to Health and human services for assistance? I mean we already filed together with the human services, which only gets our son health care, but can I myself apply and include my son. As it will be me that will be needing assistance right now. Any suggestions or ideas would be great because I am not sure where to start. Besides of course find a job, which I am already working on.
Oh and hes offered to help me get things and pay for stuff and what not. Though yes I still need to get a lawyer just to make sure he don't screw me over by saying all this and no sticking behind it. I Considered wiring up a contract myself since he wants me to just put in writing I won't run off with our child, that I have him do the same thing with the fact he agreed to joint custody, and all the money he promises to give me to helo me out and the fact he plans to let me take his Monte carlo till he can either get me a car or fix the other one we have. He seems to want to work out details but it all depends if its just talk or actual fact. To tell you the truth I don't think either one of us trust the other much, and I have good reason myself not to trust him right now.. so..yeah.. but anyways. Yes planning still to get a lawyer of my own to work out all the details.
When I looked into applying for food stamps, they stated that you always put the dependent children you care for. The only exception was if someone else had full custody. Since you have joint custody, you simply include them and then they will figure out how to proceed. So yes, include your child in all your paperwork through human services.
Yes you can apply by yourself with your son included. It never hurts to apply the worst they can do is say no. When I was laid off last year I applied without including my husband as we are seperated till we can find the money to file for divorce. My children recieve medicaid and we as a family my children and I) recieve snap benefits, however my unemployment was to much for me to qualify for medicaid but since you are not receiving any money you should be covered as well.
First and foremost, get a lawyer. You don't have to have any money. The lawyer can build it into the divorce agreement that your ex will pay the lawyer fees. You need a lawyer for divorce, child support and custody issues. I believe most divorce lawyers handle all of that.
Since there's no court order in place, you should be able to claim your son full-time. As a single mother with no immediate income, you will qualify for low income housing. You will also qualify for food stamps, WIC (if your child is under 5), and Medicaid. You will still have to pay any utility and phone bills. Some companies will work with you, some won't.
You need to go and file NOW! If your soon to be ex husband files first, you're up a creek with out a paddle. You can't both claim your son for benefits. And you can't split his benefits, even if you have joint custody.
Good luck!
you need to hire a lawyer to help you. seriously. do NOT go this alone.
DO NOT assume you aren't getting anything...your husband needs to pay child support and depending on the circumstances - alimony...so GET A LAWYER!!! Have your ex pay for it...especially since you don't have access to money....
to the best of my knowledge H*H*S should with child as well as the adult.
Do not put anything in writing or sign anything until you have an attorney, then let him handle all paper work. If you own a home you are entitled to half of it. You are entitled to half of all marital property. It either has to be sold or if he keeps the house he has to buy your half.
Go to Social Services and apply for food stamps, medical assistance and Aid to Families with Dependent Children.
Look into Section 8 housing and low income apartment housing. Section 8 you find a place and ask the landlord if he accepts Section 8. Many do not, though I don't know why, the rent is guarenteed.
Get a lawyer. Consultation should be free.
Get advice from him/her. Write it down. go in w/your list of questions.
go see the lawyer right away.
If you sign something, put in there what you want too.
Then you need to get it notarized for it to matter.
Ask the lawyer about this.
Look for housing and save any $ you do have for the down payment.
Take only what is your from the house.
Be cordial w/him. Don't try to do anything to irritate him.
Call Human Services now to see what if anything you can apply for .
Food stamps?
Think ahead, be calm. I wish you luck! I'm sorry you are going through this.
You need to be honest with him and yourself. Tell him that you would LOVE to keep this cheap and easy but KNOW that it can totally take a turn for the worst so you will be applying for assistance and you will be seeking legal advice. If he thinks you arent, and he gets papers in the mail, he will just get mad and that begins the whole messy divorce syndrome.
Social services is going to ask you if he's giving you money and how much? If you decide to lie, be careful. You need to be honest with them. They will also want all of his contact info because they will try to go after the money owed to them once they find out he's working. In California you pretty much have to either be in a shelter or in an existing home where you are about to be evicted, or if youre in a home staying with fam or friends where there are already too many people to bedrooms ratio before you can get emergency aid. They don't make it easy. They want to make sure you are seriously in need of the assistance before they hand it out. This is called the "system", you will have to learn how to play it.
Good luck.
I hope you can fix your marriage, it's easier than finishing breaking it.
