What to Do About My Kids and Friendships

Yes, talk to them. I would say, it's fine you don't want our kids to play together, but I expect there to be a level of respect. She stuck out her tongue? What the hell is wrong with her? If she gets an attitude with you or continues I would file a complaint with the school.

If she is still aggressive about the lawn area and everything, I would talk to the dad about it, since he seems pretty normal. If she continues, then talk to the base housing.

I think there may be more to this story... especially if it is an "all of a sudden" occurance. Time to talk to the mom and find out what, exactly, happened between the girls. To forbid them to play together on a sudden basis is kind of a red flag for me.

Can you invite her over for a diet coke and a chat? See her on the driveway and stop her? Just approach her in a non-threatening way and say "things are not going well between us and I'd like to help get us back on track" or something like that.

I'm sorry you are in this situation- like your life doesn't have enough stress in it! Try to offer an olive branch and see how it goes. Good luck and keep us posted.

I recommend talking to the mom first. It seems she is the primary one in care of the kids. Plus, you can ask her about the sticking out the tongue incident (which I think is totally inappropriate). If that doesn't help, then talk to the dad. I say talk to mom first b/c if this woman has insecurity or other issues, she may be offended or jealous that you speak with her husband first.

Well gee, that Mom is real childish isn't she? Sticking her tongue out....

I would, talk to the Husband, or the Mom... if she is even willing to talk to you. She seems really against any socializing at all.... now.

So why were the kids 'fighting' all the time, anyway?
My kids with their friends, don't fight.
Maybe your kids and hers, just don't get along.
Which is fine. Not all kids have to get along or be friends.

Your kids were at HER house for playing?? And that is where they were fighting? Well, it is her house... and if she can't handle the so called "fighting" as she calls it, then well... she is doing what she thinks is right.
BUT she could have... TALKED to you about it first. To see what could be remedied....

Regardless... that Mom is really infantile. And to act that way.

If anything, just explain to YOUR kids... that not all adults are "appropriate" and not all kids are either. AND... that sometimes, it is better if 'we' are not friends all the time, with the same people. It can be very negative and unfair.... and their Mom is not the kind of parent that you want your kids to be around....

Frankly, I would be glad that I know this about the Mom. Now. I would not want my kids, around her nor playing with her kids.

Who knows, what exactly went on with the fighting at that Mom's house. Did you ASK your kids, what was going on and why ALL the fighting???
Regardless.... I would now not want my kids around a parent like that.

IF that Mom... continues to mock and harass your kids, at their Library... I would tell her Supervisor. That is REALLY out of line.

all the best,
Susan

I can give you some real solid advice here because this same situation actually happened to me and my daughters. My kids were 11 and 9 at the time and we had just moved into a new house and into a new subdivision that was brimming with kids....especially girls in this age bracket. My two girls were instantly sought after to be part of the "friend crowd" and mostly by these two girls who were neighbors up the street and also the exact ages as my own kids. At first I thought this was great and then the fighting started. To be honest, I'd never seen nor heard of either one of my kids fighting with a friend....not even once. These girls would be fine one minute and then upset about something the next and they were always vying for my kids attention and would get mad at them if they paid attention to another child or didn't play with them 100% of the time. I saw all of this happening. These two neighbor girls became catty and just plain annoying to my kids. I had two previous little "parent meetings" to discuss the fighting and overall behavior with the other parents and things would be okay for awhile and then it would go right back to the old ways. I then decided it was time for my girls to move on and no longer associate with these two other kids. It was the best decision I have ever made. These two girls imploded on themselves and I came to find out that the reason why they wanted to be friends with my girls so badly was because they basically ticked off everyone else in the neighborhood and no one wanted to be around them anymore! My girls found other friends to play with and I cut all ties with the parents of the other kids.....no love loss there on my end.....I don't miss them at all and I don't regret avoiding them at all. It seems to me that the mother of these girls in your neighborhood is rather childish and certainly not a good role model. It doesn't surprise me one bit that her kids act terrible and they "fight" with other children. A mother who sticks her tongue out at someone else's child is beyond ridiculous and also someone who you'd be better off WITHOUT. It sounds like you are a good person and also a mature parent who is just trying to help their kids settle in to a new environment. I know you want your kids to have friends but they may be better off without these two and the mother from hell. The apple does not fall from from the tree. Have activities planned at your house or make playdates or sleepovers for your kids with children who are nice to them and who get along with them. Fighting and this kind of behavior is not true friendship and it should never feel like you have to "work at" being a good friend to someone. Let the immature and babyish mother go and let her take her two kids with her. I don't think you need or really want friends like that!

I think you need to talk to the MOM. Approach her with the attitude that you'd like to know what your kids' behavior was that was bad enough to warrant them to be forbidden. Because you're their mom. and you want to know so you can address their behavior.

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Oh NO! Sorry you're going through this! I'm hoping it's all just a big misunderstanding! Maybe something one her girls told the Mom about one of your boys rubbed her the wrong way.

I hope you can approach them, say what you said here, you're sad and don't understand the sudden dissing. Maybe ask the dad about it? Really, I think you should talk to one of the parents about it, maybe just some dumb little thing!

Good Luck!
:)

Wow. I would contact the other mom. She is acting like a child! Sticking her tongue out at your girls? I would tell her she's being inappropriate. Tell her you don't want your daughters spending time with hers anymore than she does, but that you will not tolerate such nasty behavior towards your daughters from someone who is supposed to be an ADULT and mother! Remind her that you share the same lawn and your girls will play there if they choose. If she continues with her ridiculous behavior, then I would approach the dad and let him know how immature and mean his wife is acting towards your family when you've done nothing to warrant the behavior.

I would let it go-you do NOT want your kids hanging out with these people anymore anyhow. They have shown their true colors. But I would definitley try to get to the bottom of it. Is there anyone that know them well enough that you also know that you can ask?

talk to the mom. Sounds like maybe something happened and you need to know what caused this issue with the girls. Maybe she doesn't even know other than what her girls have told her. Could of been something at school as well, maybe one of their friends got jealous and made up a story about your kids to make the neighbor girls not like them anymore. This issue could be anything and sounds like communication is the problem.

Being a military family--it would be miserable to have neighbors you don't get along with. Part of the fun memories of military life was having the neighbors over for BBQ's and talking to them when we went outside. Kids were always at our house too and sometimes would want our own family space so we made a rule that they weren't allowed to play on Wed or Sundays with neighbor friends because we also had church on those days and would usually distract me from getting the kids ready, eating dinner and getting to church on time. That also gave them 2 days a week with a break from each other and would usually be better friends after they had a little break. Some days I would get tired of them all at my house and tell my kids they can't play unless they go outside or go play at someone else's house. I don't know why, but our house was the main one they all wanted to play at so when I wanted a break I would just tell them no one was playing at our house that day. Sometimes the kids would want a break and ask to be grounded for a few days lol.

military families are there for each other especially when the spouses are gone on deployments or gone for months of training. You don't want this to escalate to a bigger problem, you need to talk it out and see what happened. Plus they could let other neighbors know and may isolate you from all the neighbors. That could cause a miserable few years while you are there.

Ahh Base living ant it fun! I could not agree more with Momma L. I think she has good advice. We went thought somthing sorta like this with some of the kids in the naborhood (but not with the family we share the yeard with). My son had friends and one day everone desided to not like him....but as soon as we got a trampolen in the back yerd there was a big change of heat. Arnt kids great.
I would try talking to the mother or if you can catch both the mom and dad togahter that would probley be best. Explain that you are sorry that the kids have had a falling out, and you respect that they dont want the kids playing togather, and you agree that thats robely for the best right now. But that there have been problems at the school, and that maybe ya'll could work togather to (As childish as it sounds) devide the yeard up because your kids need to feel free to play outside too.
I am not sure what to tell you what you should do if it dosnt work, but I feel if the dad is involved in the converstion ta'll could work somthing out.

Best of luck hun!!