What to Do About Mean Sister-in-law

I'm with jackie.
you can't control what someone else says or does. all you can do is be an example of how people should treat you. and if they choose not to treat you the way you treat them, then there's not much you can do.and you shouldn't waste your energy on worrying about what they are saying or doing, when it's not true.
don't let what other people say or do elicite a reation out of you that you are not proud of.
at a different angle. are you sure she is actually saying things about you and it's not really someone else stiring the pot?
my sil hasn't really had much of a conversation with me since i got pregnant with my second child. i think because they had been trying for some time and i got pg so quickly after my first child. we used to talk about alot of different stuff. and easily. now it's like pulling teach to get her to have a conversation with me. i just accept it for what it is and where it's at. but leave the opening for when and if things change for the better in the future.
goodluck.. it's not easy sometimes is it..

After 16 years of marriage to the same man I am an expert at in-laws who hate you. I married a man raised in a racist family. When we met I had two children and because of health reasons could never have anymore. My son is of mixed race. My first meeting with his Mother was not pleasant. She acted like I wasn't even there as she told her son just how unsuitable I was. She then turned to me and told me that her son was just using me to get back at his Father. His sister's were horrible to me. They were nice when they needed something and treated me like I was a bug under a rock the rest of the time. His Father seemed to take offense of anything that came out of my mouth. We moved away for six years and had no contact. When we moved back around them I decided enough was enough. I made my own circle of friends and only went around them when it was necessary. I stood up to them without having a confrontation by bettering my life, surrounding myself with my own friends, getting involved with my community and not letting them tear my marriage apart. When another person attacks like this they are not happy with their own life and misery loves company. My in-laws are all divorced from my husband's parents to his brother and both his sisters. We stood united and we are still married and stonger than ever. Just be true to yourself.

The best response you can give is to ignore her and not even care, which is easier said than done in your situation. Even so, remember that the person with the least interest in the relationship is the one who controls it. I have a SIL who can be quite mean to my MIL but still leaves me alone because I just don't bother with her. I am polite to her when she is around, nothing more. Resist the urge to call her up and tell her how you feel, and if nothing is the nicest thing you can say, stick with it. Good luck in school, you will probably go places she has never dreamed of, and when all is said and done, she will have nothing to show for spending all her time trying to ruin your life. Whatever you do, don't let her do that. Keep your priorities in focus.

First of all, you just need to realize that this is her problem, not yours. Right now you are giving her too much power because you are responding to her negativity. If she says anything to you, just respond with "I'm very sorry that you feel that way," or something like that. I understand that it bothers you....I have a sister in law like that, too. She's very nice to my face but says things behind my back and sometimes gets my mother in law all riled up about it, too, until my husband calms things down. I just don't respond to it at all anymore. I'm very nice to her when I see her and make sure she feels included and things like that. I'm sure the people you know mutually konw what kind of a person she is and will take the things she says lightly. If anyone asks you about something she said, just politely tell them it's not true and move on to something else. Don't let her have the power. You have the power. She has the problem. You can always politely suggest she talk to someone about her issues, but it really isn't up to you whether or not she gets counceling. I know how difficult it is, but the best thing to do is to stop reacting to the things she says. Hope that helps!

She sounds like she is nuts and needs counciling! Next time you catch her doing it. Say in a concerned mannerism even if your just being mean. "I think you have mental problems. I really think you should seek counciling..." lol! Ok that is what I would do because maybe that would shock her into leaving me the heck alone cause NO ONE wants to hear that. LOL!

It is sad that people have to be that way. But you must remember, you cannot control what others say and do. If you live your life in a proper way and the people you know all see that, then her words are falling on deaf ears, or they should be anyway. People will know she is talking s*%t, for lack of a better term, and they will know you are a good person. As far as you and your husband, she can only break you up if you allow her to, and if it does happen, then your issues are much bigger than she anyway.
Easy to say I know- but don't let her get to you. THAT is where she gets her satisfaction.

I am not sure what to tell you other than she evidentally has issues that she may never get dealt with. You can't really control what comes from her head & mouth. But you can control your actions & reactions. Make sure that you're leading you life in the manner that you and you husband wish. Be courteous to your SIL, even though you know it won't be returned. Thus, she has no ammunition to us against you. If she sees that she can't "get to you", then eventually she'll get bored...sometimes it's easier said than done but remember what we endure makes us better.

Honey I think every family has one. My EX SIL was tollerable for many years until there was a HUGE incident and the state removed her kids. My brother still seeked help with their marriage and felt that his vow to love in sickness and in health included mental illness. He hung on as long as he could but was eventually at a risk of losing his own daughter! Once they seperated and started divorce proceedings she was horrible! She drove into a light pole and then blamed her kids for it to their faces. She lied to everyone including the state, her kids, her parents. We are lucky that she is out of our lives and all but one of her children are with their biological fathers or living on their own. However, she has since remarried (within only a few days of the divorce becoming final) and taken on MORE kids! If you and your MIL know about how she is...chances are the rest of the family does. Be up front with your husband about what you think is going on and that you want him to be aware of it. Reassure him that you love him and want to make a deal that you two will not let her seperate you. Do NOT be alone with her and do not feed into what she says. Such sayings/stories coming from a person such as herself can not be taken any more serious than just that, stories.
P.S. I have three boys. Trust me when I say girls are nothing but drama! I love my boys and am completly bored when they go camping with my husband! I even tried to have a girls' night with my niece and her friend and was bored!

I am hoping your husband doesn't listen to any of the CRAP that is going on because of you SIL. I would get in her face and tell her to grow up and back off you and your marraige. You can't create a worse relationship than what you already have. Just make sure that you and your husband are on the same team and no matter what happens, you have each other. I had a similar situation and I got in her face a couple of years ago and put my foot down. We all get along now and she respects me more. I let some time pass before I talked to her after this, but it is much better 2 years down the road!

Hello,
The best thing here is to take the high road. When people are vicious like this, eventually others will start to see it. You just have to live your life and be a good person. Karma will come back to you and at her. Since I'm not a patient person when it comes to stupid adults, I'd do what I did to my own sister when she acts this way and bloody her nose. Usually gives me six months of peace and we get along better after we have it out. Good luck to you and stay strong.

K.

Wow you and I are in the same boat. My sister in law is a horrible horrible person that destructs anyone that crosses her. She's treated me bad about 4 separate times previously and this is the last time I'm going to have her do this to me. My only advice to you is to sever ties with her. People that know the 'real' you will not beleive her lies and alligations. I am dealing with that same issue too as we are also in the same town with a same circle. You have to live for yourself primarily and always, so sometimes you have to sacrifice your relationship with an awful person to do that. Another thing, is go to the same people you know and explain your side and that this is between herself and you and it doesn't involve them at all. If they judge you based on her 'stories' then they aren't really true friends. Through a family feud or crisis we truly find out who our friends are. I beleive that space will also give you two time to heal. Maybe this is a good thing and you two will resolve in the future. One thing is you can't force someone to seek councelling, lord knows I wish we could sometimes! This would backfire most likely if pressed. If you back away, and let her do her thing, chances are she'll hang herself by being catty. If you leave it alone, you will come out the good guy keeping a clean record and not slandering her like she's doing to you. I really hope this works out for you. If you need to talk about this, feel free to message me! Good luck!

Wow, boy do we have something in common. There is really no way you can stop her from saying mean things. The only thing that you can do is confront her, which you already have. Or, just directly tell her that you don't appreciate her saying things about you good or bad behind your back. I wish that I could help you out more as I can't even be in the same room with my SIL because of all the stuff she has said and done to me and my husband over the years. In fact we moved out of the same town because it was so bad, she even turned my MIL against me and my husband and his brother don't hardly talk anymore when they used to be so close.
Now since we don't live there and haven't for two years she can't blame things on me, she has started saying things about their 72 year old Grandpa. So I wish I could give you advice on how to make her nice, but none of my own advice worked for me. Good Luck!

Hope that your relationship with you SIL has changed for the better by now, if not try a different approach. Instead of allowing her control of your emotions and your time spent talking, reacting or just stewing over what you feel is a personal attack on you and feel sorry for her. She must be so consumed with insecurities that she must resort to pointing out or just making up other people's flaws so that no one will notice her own. A tactic most bullies resort to... Think about it, how many self-secure people you know that resort to rudeness in order to get attention. I hope that she will find some to love herself so that she may find real love and friendship in her lifetime. I would hate to see her pass this nasty habit onto her children. Lots of Luck