What to Do - Clearwater,FL

My 2 1/2 year old does the same thing! When I am telling her something she doesn't want to hear, she points at me and says "No, you stop!". Aggravating isn't it? This behavior has also come with bossing my husband and I around. I just sternly remind her that it is not ok to talk to mommy that way and as long as she is telling me what to do instead of asking nicely she won't be getting anything from me. She seems to be catching on. Sometimes it goes so far that she as to stand in the corner - she hates that! As far as the fits of frustration when she can't communicate something, I can't help you there. My little one is perfectly content repeating the same unintelligible words over and over and over until I decipher them. I'm not sure what would be worse the fit or the repeating of the same garbled words over and over.

I had a late talker who did not really start communicating well until just before her third birthday.

You should definitely have her hearing evaluated if you haven't already. Sign worked really well for us, too. We taught her to sign help, eat, nurse, drink, and several other words. "help" is particularly "help"ful (sorry, I couldn't resist :) )

As for the bossing around, my younger daughter is now doing that to me. I don't like it either, but I ask myself if she's just repeating what she sees (i.e. me and her older sister bossing her around). I try to teach "no thank you" and to tell her why I'm asking her to stop doing something so maybe she starts to understand why she's getting bossed around. A lot of times I think they understand more than we give them credit for.

Good luck! It will pass, even if only when she's old enough to start getting consequences for back chat.

Teach her sign language so she can communicate with you effectively. You will both benefit greatly from it and it wont end up in a screaming match!! I teach sign language and have taught it to all of my children - one which is Hard of Hearing and in 2nd grade was reading on a 9th grade level, this year in 3rd she is going above and beyond that!!

R.,
This is total normal behavior for her age. Both of my kids went through the same thing. Most important, stick by your family rules and don't give an inch for as we know, kids will take the mile every time. Regarding the communication, it is as frustrating for our little ones as it is for us. For a few things, like eat, more, potty, stop, sick, mommy and daddy I'd suggest sign language. I wish I had known it to teach to my kids when they were little. I just discovered it as I took a special ed class for my teaching degree. It is proven to reduce tantrums by giving the child more ability to communicate before words actually come out. It can seem a little overwhelming for you both to learn all the sign language but if you just stick with a few minors as listed above, I think it'd go a long way. You can get books fairly cheap from internet. The great thing is with just these few, you can teach them to others like her grandparents or her babysitter etc and it will help them as well. I think you are on the right track though, because you put yourself in her shoes when you thought about not walking away because she's trying to communicate. That's a good mom right there - because as frustrated as you are, you are hanging in there and listening to your heart and putting her needs before your frustration. Keep it up. She'll be out of this stage before you know it and you'll be watching video tapes of this time asking yourself where did all the time go... Good luck.

Hi R.
1) I would have the peditrician evaluate her hearing; my niece had an undiagnosed blockage in her ears for over a year...it effects their speaking ability. They finally put tubes in her ears at 2 1/2 and she has finally started speaking in an understandable manner. The doctor basically said until that point it was like she was listening to people with her head submerged underwater

2) Try Sign Language. The count library system has a revolving sign language program that is free. I taught both my kids simple signs starting at 1 year of age. It eliminates a lot of the frustration

P.

2 1/2 is a time of great developmental changes. If you can find the book I am Two Years Old--in the library. It will give you a great overview as to what is going on as a 2 year old grows and develops. Unfortunately this growth does not always look pretty in a 2 year old--it's demanding, loud, sometimes bossy. It is also very normal. It is not your little girl--it's her development. As a mom--you can set the limits for her success and be patient with the normal annoying behaviors that arrive at 18 months, 2 1/2, 3 1/2 and 4 years. You can expect a "falling apart" around birthdays and 1/2 birthdays--this means they are getting ready to grow. Hoppe that helps
D.