What to Do - Binghamton, NY

Take it away! take him to the park tell him he can't have it back until he spends at least a week doing something he might like...it is summer theres lots to do and without the games what choice does he have? i hope this works my sister let her kid do that and now its wrapped in the kids head and it drives me nuts

Hi L.,

From your 'about me' section, you don't seem to mention a husband or boyfriend in the picture, so I assume you may be a single parent. If so, I know how hard it is to find time after working 40+ hours a week, taking care of the house, and all the other necessary thigns, to do hiking trips, extracricular activites, etc. If you don't have the funds for extra things or the time, then maybe find out from him what he is willing to do in order to stay more active. We do live in a technicial age, so a video game is going to keep his interest more than a book. But maybe instead of buying him a game that is nothing but pure 'play', the next one you buy should be one that will teach something...from math, to reading, etc.
as far as getting him outside, maybe invest in a pair of skates, bike, pool, something that will get him excited to go outside. When he does go outside now, what occupies his time? What ever it is, play off of that and extend it somehow.
Above all, as others have mentioned multiple time, you are the parent. If push comes to shove, throw the system in the shed till he decides to learn how to be responsible for himself and keep himself healthy.

Simple. You're the mom, you take the games away. Sign him up for other things. Football, soccer, baseball, swimming lessons, etc. Our park here has a program where you can drop the kids off during the day. You just sign them in and the park attendants take care of the activities. You might look for something like that in your area.

Hi I am D. and we have a 11 year old to. He only gets 45 minutes a day to do video games, however is he won't do something we ask him to then he is off for the whole day. This seems to work. We also have him spend so much time outside and then he can when he comes back in .He also has to make time to read. Both my husband & I feel if you set rules and times to play these games your life will be much better. D.

My husband's aunt implemented a read for reward program in her household. For every page that her children read, she awarded them 1 minute of computer time. After they had read 30 minutes, they received 30 minutes, etc. Something like that seemed to work well for her household. However, at this stage, forcing your child to do one certain activity (like reading)if he's not interested in it might do more harm than good. You don't want him to view reading as a punishment. I guess I would talk to him first and explain the reasons why you'll be limiting his video game usage. Then I'd allow him to pick out an activity that he would like to try (karate, horseback riding, etc.) and enroll him in it. I wouldn't take the video games away without putting something in it's place because you don't want to end up with whining and boredom. Good luck.

I have a 13 year old son who hated to read, until he discovered Captain Underpants several years ago!! The stories are about an unlikely hero and are funny to boys. My son now reads all of the time. Other books that he might like are One Piece (it is also a cartoon and the books read from back to front which adds to the appeal), Artemis Fowl, the Hardy Boys, Hank the Cow Dog. Take him to a large book store and help him pick out a book and pick out a book for yourself then block out a 15-30 minute time slot during the day a sit down and read together. Part of my sons reasoning for not reading was that I didn't now we all read from about 8:45-9PM, me in my chair and the kids on the couch and love seat. Good Luck!!

Our son is 15 years old. Your 11 year old sounds alot like him. All children have different interests. Try not to worry , our 15 year old is a high honor roll student and keeps a small group of close friends who share his love of video games.He also enjoys fishing and nature, so we try to encourage his interests in this area.Actually, I think his video playing has helped his quick thinking and hand eye control.Still, we have to mnake him take a break, and rest his eyes occasionally.

your the adult set a time limit written in stone and then tell him if he doesn't want to read or go outside he can have extra chores(they do make Pokemon books)

Put a limit on his game time. For example, 1 hour per day.

ok well video games are very addictive instead of telling him to do other things you have to use the video game as a reward (ex. if he reads a book a day or plays outside for an hour he gets and hour or 2 of game time) In order for this to happen though you need to have control over when he plays whether it be locking it(whatever system he uses) in your room until he has done some reading or playing outside or you can have the sitter or whomever is watching him while you work enforce this rule by making sure he doesn't play until he does what you want him to do but always know that you are in control of what he does.

L.,

What to do? You already have it!! Show him your LOVE for the outdoors. Go hiking, camping, biking, roller blading, picnic,...If you show him that an adult can love the outdoors then maybe he can begin to appreciate it more.

I tell my 6 year old girl, Leanne, that she MUST shut off the TV, put away the games and go out.

Don't know if you listen to country music, but listen to the song by Bucky Phillips???? (he was on American Idol) can not remember his last name right now, grr!

Good luck with your son and wish you the best.

for every hour he spends time doing something else that is 20 minutes he can have his pokeman (or a time frame you set) once his hour of non pokeman is up he will get a sticker, and for every 3 (like I said your idea of time frame) stickers that is game time for pokeman without you fussing. Let him know and you that there are pokeman books and adventure cards and games and those books can also give him game time even though they are pokeman, but lets say an hour in pokeman books gets a 10 minute sticker for video games and so on. this will work as bargaining and bribeing in your favor too. It will be a no nonsense plain as day list of times he can play games. Also bad behavior he loses stickers with a big black X across them and there he lost 20 mintes of game time. Just a thought :)

i have a nephew who is the same way and he has become unsocial and was not making friends, so my sister in law put him in a YMCA summer camp program and he also started competitive swimming. This has kept him so busy and now the few minutes he has to play he appreciates it. He is also making friends. My newphew is 9 yrs old. Can you try keeping his time filled with different activities, maybe something you can do together like canoeing, hiking etc?

L.,
We live in a society that fills kids with technology. First of all, video games are a luxury not a necessity. Use the games as a reward not a time filler. My son loves TV and will watch it all day if given the chance. I do not let him. UNPLUG the games/ take out batteries. At 11 he knows that he needs to outside and playing. Make outdoors fun, go on hikes, organize a neighborhood kickball game. Go to the lirary, get some books together. My bottom line is YOU ARE THE ADULT, you pay the bills, buy the games and the systems...you get the control. There are Pokemon books. Start with comics if you have to. Good luck.

I'm sure that most parents these days have this problem. The good news is you love the outdoors. Maybe if you make it a point on one of your FEW days off to do something outdoors with your son and let him see how great the outdoors can be. Also at 11 your son is probably ready to understand when you explain to him how unhealthy playing video games can be. Good Luck, as I know how hard being a Mom can be when you must work full time to make ends meat.