What's the Worst Pick-up Line You Have Heard? JFF

No amusing pickup lines that I can recall offhand.

I'm also a redhead, and my stock response to the carpet/drapes question is, "What are you, an interior decorator?"

A guy once told me, "You know you want this six inches." I told him that three in and three out did not add up to six.

I once told a guy who didn't know how to take "No" for an answer that he needed to learn the difference between HAVING a big dick and BEING a big dick.

M.,

A great comeback line I've heard is "I have hardwood floors"

Walk away & let THEM figure that one out! haha T. =-)

I had a guy tell me that he wanted to make me bark like a monkey with my hand caught in the blender.

yes, you read it correctly. and I have spent years trying to figure out what the hell it meant. But it's always funny to see someone's face when I tell them:)

"I'd offer you my chair but I want you sitting on my face instead."

I remember telling him I hoped the survival of our species didn't depend on him finding a suitable mate.

"I like your legs. What time do they open?"
Baaahahahaha!!!

No good pick-up lines to share. The one rebuff I recall a friend using many years ago (and it really stuck with me) wouldn't work for your carpet/drape comment, but as a general retort to some idiot who suggests you get together is, "No thanks, I already have an A**hole and I don't need a second one."

About 20 years ago:

"I really like women with big boobs and buck teeth."

I have the former, but not the latter. The guy was an idiot, standing there and smiling at me like I was going to be flattered. He was our store's window washer-- I still see him around town, and he still seems to be washing windows and single...

In college, a guy in one of my classes told me he finally broke up with his live-in girlfriend, but that he was a jerk and she was better off without him. He then says, "So, how about you and I go out?" I replied, "I've dated enough jerks in my lifetime."

Seriously? You tell me you were a jerk to your girlfriend and I'm supposed to want to go out with you?

"You'd look good with a baby."

Yeah, I was 18 and he was over 40. Gross.

These are funny. I had one similar to Squirrelly.
"As long as you see this face you will always have a place to sit."
Another was "do you need help carrying your luggage" as he motioned that he was lifting my boobs.

A guy I went to college with won a party bus from a local bar for having the best pick-up line. "So. What would you do for a Klondike bar?"

i LOVE your calm response to the douchebag who was, almost certainly, just looking to offend.
you probably ruined his afternoon. excellent.
i was surprised when my older son told me he had great success with 'you are WAY out of my league, but i've got to try. how about joining me for a burger?'
:) khairete
S.

not necessisairily the worst I have heard but my fav was always "if you were a booger I'd pick you first." My friend used it all the time as an ice breaker. One of those is so stupid you know its not just a line but insanely rediculous.

the "stage" - child support court (long ago)

I'm there waiting for my case to be called as my ex rarely kept up the pittance of child support - guy comes in and sits a row and a chair away (kinda busy in there when it starts) -- his case gets called before mine, but he comes back and sits and asks to go out w/the line "I don't know why she has me down here, it is not my kid" ....

Funny - I did not hear the judge dismiss him from the case!