What's in It for Me?

Even if you act kindly with no apparent reward, there is a reward. Kindness, hospitality, and graciousness can all be great acts of power.

I try to help others because as a follow of Christ that's what He commended us to do.....love others and put other people first . I know many people who gain nothing from acts of kindness .My husband and I work at a rescue Mission we see it all the time.

I don't think it's *bad* to gain something... But I do think we should be willing to help each other out just for humanity's sake.

If that gain is simply personal satisfaction that you made a difference to someone, great.

Most people I know don't gain anything from performing acts of kindness. Volunteering, donating... It may be small scale, but they are doing things simply to help their fellow man.

On the other hand, If you gain something from it, at least you still made a difference. Getting something in return doesn't negate the deed.

If anything, these gains motivate more people to do more good... How much charitable donations would be lost if they weren't tax deductible?

Even if someone does something JUST for a reward... Well, maybe their heart isn't truly in the right place, but they still did it. When we have raffle drawings to raise money for special Olympics for my friend's group home, the residents don't care that the person who sponsored them got an iPad or whatever... They are happy that they get to go. So maybe the "charitable" person got something out of the deal, but they still made a difference.

There is nearly always a 'gain' when we act well to others.

We gain one more iota of self-respect and self-worth.
We gain a sense of having gone one step further toward a vision we hold.
We (may)gain the appreciation of those whom we have helped.
We (may) gain kinship and community with those whom we have reached out to, offered our selves or our resources to.

I believe that when a gain is spiritual, that is a wonderful thing.
I believe that when a person is speaking up for humanity, even their own, that there is nothing wrong with that. Those who seek to better their own situation and choose to do it by lifting up others with them are often very good leaders.

When I do good things for others, I gain a pleasant sense of being a helpful part of a connected world, whether my name is 'on it' as it were, or not. I do not think this is a bad thing. I'm not doing it for acknowledgment or for someone to pat me on the back and say 'well done'... I do it because I see a need or opportunity to give back, contribute, help-- and I am able.

If it makes you feel good to help others then that's what you get - a good feeling (not a smug feeling).
Some people do it thinking that they are earning brownie points with what ever deity they care to worship.
If they are expecting anything more than kindness in return then it's not so much kindness as it is a business transaction.

I do things out of kindness, hospitality, graciousness, and love. If I gain from those acts then bonus for me! If I don't it's not a big deal. I do everything in my life never expecting anything in return. If I always exepcted someone to return the favor I would probably be let down a lot. lol
L.

We DO get something when we help someone for no gain - the feeling that we helped someone. It can feel really good.

Yeah, getting recognition (of whatever kind) is a "bonus", but the person that says "no one does anything for nothing" has probably never done anything for anyone.

To partially answer your question - YES, people DO DO things when they will not gain anything from doing them. It shouldn't be expected that an act of kindness will result in a personal gain. It happens sometimes, but I'd like to think that many people act in kindness for no other reason than they want to help another person. It would be a very sad day for me to think that people only do nice things when there's something to gain from it.

Interesting question.

No, it's not bad. No matter how altruistic our motives, ultimately we all do things for some sort of personal gain, even if the personal gain is only the happiness and satisfaction we get from helping others.

NervyGirl nailed it.

Rhonda,

When I help someone, I do it because I WANT to...I don't expect ANYTHING in return...well, wait - yes. A thank you. Other than that? I don't keep score and/or tally's and wonder "when will Rhonda repay this act of kindness?"

The GAIN that someone SHOULD get? Is the feeling of gratitude that they were able to help. That act alone - giving with your heart instead of an ulterior motive? Will return to you in many ways....self-respect, kindness, etc. If you feel "better" than someone else by being able to do this act? Then you (not YOU but the collective you) are not acting in selflessness.....and that will be shown in the way you behave down the road....

I think if they only do it with the intention of gaining something then yea...it's kind of questionable.

And when I say gain I don't mean the feeling of joy you might get from doing something very nice for someone else. But actual tangible items/money/etc

Nervy Girl said it best.

"one person said"
Yeah, that's one person. Sure there are some people who only do for others when they expect to get something in return, be it a material reward or public praise.
But most people (most people I know anyway) enjoy giving and helping simply because it's the right thing to do. That's called charity, or compassion, and the reward is the act itself, the pleasure that comes from doing it.
If a person gets "paid back" for a favor, that's fine and wonderful, but expecting it is selfish and petty IMO.
"Your true character is revealed by the way you treat those who can do nothing for you in return."
I forget who said this but I believe it wholeheartedly!!!

My hubby and I were at Goodwill the other day. An older woman stopped my hubby and asked him if she could help her son load a large item into her vehicle. He helped them with the treadmill and the guy gave him 5 bucks. It wasn't promised or expected but he did gain from his act of kindness and I don't see that as a bad thing.

That person is talking about Altruism. Or at least the concept of Altruism. It means that a person or even an animal will do something for someone else to the greatest benefit of the other being... no matter what it is... in an unselfish manner even to the detriment of themselves.

If you're talking from the standpoint of strict altruism, then anything the person performing the Good Act gains from it cancels out the altruistic value. That would include gaining good feelings or unintended gains from performing the Good Act.

If we leave Altruism out of it? It is not bad when someone receives something gainful from an act of kindness, hospitality, or graciousness. Personally I don't believe altruism actually exists, or if it does it's only occurred in very rare instances. It's not a natural instinct for people, and it's a very difficult concept for most people to understand.

i always gain when i give....i gain a feeling of accomplishment; that ive made somebodies life a little better. i know its not the kind of "gain" your talking about; just wanted to put my 2cents in(((:

Is it "bad" when someone gains?
Not necessarily.
Depends on the motivation.
Some motivation is selfish, some is selfless.
I think when people do something that others will PERCIEVE as selfless with an ulterior selfish motive? Yes--bad.
More self actualized people will have higher selfless motivation.
Desperate, spiteful, self absorbed people will have more selfish motivation.