Today my friend and I planned on taking our little ones to a local amusement park because she had free passes. Her husband isn't usually into that kind of thing so I texted her and asked if it would be ok if my husband came. She said sure and at the last minute her husband decided to come as well. We met at the front gate and she used the passes for herself and her husband and my family had to fork out over the full entry fee for all of us. I was shocked and should have said that we didn't want to spend that much money for entry but I didn't know what to do. Later she apologized and said she didn't realize how expensive it was. She is an amazing friend and I didn't get upset but my question is...should I have asked for one of the passes? What would you have done?
Thanks for all of the feedback! I definitely have let it go. She is one of the most generous and kindhearted people I know. I was just wondering if anyone else would have said anything. We had a great day and our little ones were all smiles.
I think she should have offered to split the cost once she decided to use the passes for only her family. Otherwise she knew going in that she was only paying for her family alone.
She probably told her hubby that your hubby was coming and hers decided to come, either out of obligation or because he enjoys your hubby's company and figured he'd enjoy a day with his family and another guy friend.
Because he ended up wanting to go, she used her passes on both of them to make it free for their family. She didn't do it on purpose to offend you, just economically made sense to save her family the money since they were her passes. Originally it was to be mamas and kiddos, that plan changed, as did her mindset on how she was going to pay for/afford the day out......
I think you did right by paying your way and letting it go instead of asking for a pass or making a fuss...no reason to do so. They were her passes and she used them on her family. It is unfortunate that you had to put out more money than you wanted to and if the promise or intent of the promise was that one of the passes would be yours, it does stink that it didn't go that way.
Next time, ask where or how she got the free passes and try to snag a few for you and yours. :) You did the right thing by not drawing any attention the matter.
in my opinion, if the passes were hers she should use them however she wants. Once you extended the invite to your husband, it only makes sense that she would do the same. I know it may seem frustrating, and if I said I was going to give you one of the passes, I probably still would of regardless, but maybe because you changed the original plan by inviting your husband, she felt like the original deal was off the table.
No, I think you did the right thing by not asking for the passes then and there. The one thing I would have done differently was to confirm after she said her husband was coming whether he would need her pass after all. Or left your husband home. She probably meant it to be a moms day out, and asking if your husband could come changed the tone of the day.
It stinks to be handed an expensive surprise like that, but hopefully you still had a fun day with your family and friends. And at least she was sensitive enough to realize, if after the fact, that she too could have handled things differently.
I would have done the same but later when she appologized and said she didn't know how expensive it was, thats when I would have said something like, yeah, we weren't planning on that since I thought we would get one of your passes. then next time this situation comes up you will know what to say up front so there are no surprises.
Generally when this kind of situation happened we all split the total cost since it is an outing for all. I think at this point you can only accept the apology and make sure to spell out the plans in more detail next time.
I wouldn't say anything either but that was tacky...
I would not have said anything, but I would have been annoyed. The only thing that you can really do is make sure the next outing is spelled out clearly about what you will do and who will pay etc....
Maybe her intention was to use the passes just for her and you...then you asked if your hubby could come, then maybe once her husband learned he was coming, he figured he would too, and there went the plans for just the two of you. If only your husband had come along, you would have ended up paying for him. It would have been nice had they split the cost, but what's done is done. Accept her apology and move on.
I would have asked... "Weren't those passes for you and I? Husbands were to pay their own way - right?"
You didn't go to pay the full price for everyone, you went because she was to share her free passes... so yeah - that was pretty crappy of her.
Wait a sec. Originially, it was just you, her and the kiddos. Then you decided to change it and have your husband come. Then her husband found out your husband was coming and decided to come as well. Sorry, you changed the rules. She had the passes and you didn't. It is that simple. She apologized which I think is nice of her but you changed the arrangements which set everything in motion. I don't believe you have a reason to be upset with her. There were x amount of passes and y amount of people. I would have checked before showing up at the gate to see how the passes were to be arranged. Lesson learned.
The passes were HERS....while her husband doesn't normally attend - he did...you had the choice at the gate to say "I'm sorry - we can't afford that." and leave.
In an ideal world - the free passes should've been used for you and she and your husband's should've paid for their way each....that's the ideal, perfect world...
She apologized. Let it go and learn from it...should something like this happen in the future...you can talk BEFORE you get to the zoo/amusement park and not get short-changed at the gate...
I wouldn't say anything. Let it be. I would have done exactly what you did. If she apologized, then you know she knows that she did you wrong. It sounds like there may be some issues between she and her husband.
I agree with the other posters that you should accept her apology and move on. But whew! I would have been really annoyed too! It looks like one of the main reasons you even decided to go was b/c she had free passes, right?! Sticky situation for sure. And I don't think it would have been all that realistic to say "We can't pay that much" and then leave. How would your little ones have reacted? I wouldn't have asked for one of the passes, but I would've been a little shocked if my friend didn't offer. Or, as I think someone else said, offered to split the cost of the whole outing. Oh well. Forgive and forget right? :)
O-M-G!!! :-O This is such an issue that *I* had got mad at YOUR amazing friend for what stunt she pulled on you. Lol
She had free tickets and thats why you guys were gonna go in the 1st place. Seems to me , you would not even have to assume thats she had enough free tickets for all of your family. If you knew how many she had- then it was a silent hint that you were on your own. And should of clarified your financial ability or worked it out . But sheesh had no class to just drop you at the gate-when you were not aware. She didn't know prices or found out before getting there and you just surprised on? Did she need the ride? I'm just sayin'. :) That was a stunt and should be addressed that is not cool but still friends. If anything she needs to be more communicative & clarify details. Hth
