What Should I Do/not Do to Help My Mom Buddywhose Husband Is Leaving?

I think considering the short time you have known her that you have done a lot to prove to be a true friend. When I was getting divorced I had a friend who I would call when I was feeling sad or angry or one of the many other emotions I felt when going through that. I still say I don't know how I would've gotten through it w/out being able to talk to her about what I was going through.

Sound advice, a little help with the kids, and an ear to listen sounds like a great way to help! She is lucky to have you as a friend!!! :-)

Only do what you can w/out totally effecting your own life.

Sounds like your doing enough. You are there for support and a listening ear and sometimes thats really all they want or need.
You offered her advice and she heard it.

Keep offering your support and if she needs anything she will let you know.

It sounds like you are doing great. I know from experience that a person going through a divorce needs mental support. Sometimes they just need someone to cry with. It is a very traumatic experience for anyone to have to go through divorce especially since your whole lifestyle changes. If she plans to go back to family and return to school then she is moving in a positive direction. Encourage her and tell her that she is making great choices for everyone involved. She does need a lawyer and I am glad you pointed this out. She will tell you whatever else she needs if you just make sure to tell her that you can help. I know you want to do everything possible to help but be sure not to get caught up in things and forget your priorities.

The court will probably prohibit either from moving more than a certain radius from where they lived as a married household.

However, one strategy might be for her to propose separation. That way, she might be able to establish her and the kids near her family while they are still married... And then move forward with the divorce. Otherwise, she will probably be forced to live where they are now.

For you, be careful not to get sucked into someone else's drama. I know you meant goodwill with your offer of free childcare, but it's one of those situations where you might start to feel taken advantage of. Figure out your boundaries (how often, how much notice will you need, will you always be expected to feed the kids, etc.) in advance.

I agree that you're already doing all the needs to be done. Since you're talking with her she'll let you know if she needs anything else. And as one poster said, be sure to only help as much as can and still provide for your own family.

You said you've known her for 5 months... but did not say if she is a friend or a good friend or just a M. who you talk to when AT your child's class.

I have parents I talk to at my daughter's class. But I would not make the jump... and say they are my "friend" or "good friend." They are just parents I mingle with, while at my daughter's class, where all we parents wait.

And, discern whether she was just venting... or asking for help.
Or she probably is venting to whomever she feels comfortable with.
Even a lady in a check out line. For example.

Then as Kristina M. said below: only do what you can w/out totally affecting your life.

Knowing her for 5 months is not long and maybe you don't KNOW her know her... well enough. Nor the complete situation of her home-life/husband/herself/kids family issues etc.

But sure, she needs an Attorney.
And has to think about 'child custody' because there are several types, of child custody. Which anyone can Google Search. "What are the types of child custody."

Encourage her not to move so far away from dad. That's the best thing for the kids right now. They are what's important right now.

I am so sorry she is going through this. I think you advice was very good and your offer to babysit is very kind. I would suggest that she start keeping some journal notes about his time away and, as difficult as it is, suggest that she start practicing safe sex (in case he is having an affair).

Then, I'd just try to be supportive of her - listen and reach out for extra playdates when you can. I would think she would appreciate the distraction and offer. I would try to avoid offering any 'advice', just listen and let her talk.

You are a good friend to her, I'm sorry for all that she is going through.