What Qualities Do You like Best in a Friend?

I look for shallow, self centered, monomaniacal idiots I have nothing in common with. I like a challenge.

J.,

In a friend or BEST friend?? I see a difference between the two.

A friend?
* A great sense of humor. I love to laugh.
* Compassion
* Loyalty
* Honesty (hard to come by these days and there's a difference between honesty and being PC)
* A great laugh...yep..not just a great sense of humor but a great laugh too!!

A best friend??? All of the above...and
* a great listener
* a great hugger - I am blessed with two best friends...one who lives near me and one who lives in Colorado (she's been my bestie since we were 10!!) the one that lives close to me?? Well, she didn't KNOW to hug a friend until college...

And my absolute best friend??? Well, she'll help me hide the body and not tell anyone!! LOL!!!

Why do you ask what people are looking for in a friend? It's an interesting question!

Sense of humor. Willing to break out in interpretive dance at any given moment. Is nice to my kid.

Sense of humor.
Down to earth.
Honesty.
Loyalty.
Fun.
Positive.

it's hard to say, really. my friends vary pretty wildly, but since you've got me thinking about it, they DO have a few things in common.
the ability to speak freely and honestly, and to listen. i mean REALLY listen, not just wait impatiently until it's their turn to talk. and they talk with, not at.
a sense of humor.
intense curiosity about the world and what the hell we're doing here.
intelligence. no denigration to them what ain't, but the folks with whom i end up bonding are sharp cookies.
related to the first point, the ability to be comfortably quiet.
ETA- i take it all back and am going with the veruca philosophy. :D
khairete
S.

We click...we think alike.
We laugh at the same things.
We are both imperfect and joke about it.
A friend needs to be kind.
A friend actively wants to spend time with you...puts time into you.
A friend is non judgmental.
Someone I can be myself with.

Things in common. Shared experiences, history. Lack of judgement. Women I can eat and drrink and laugh with, go shopping and watch movies with, women who like the same kinds of books and music and TV as me. It's not too hard, your true friends really sort themselves out over time, especially after marriage and kids. Newer (mom) friends happen when you are able to talk about each others' kids in an honest way, and not feel competitive or (again) judgemental of each other.

Kindness
Generosity
Integrity
Loyalty
Empathy

I like the qualities you shared.
After I had read your post I started thinking about my closest friends and people I consider my best friends.

One thing in common is that not one of them is selfish. They are always helping others and cheering for the underdog. We can contact each other and use our efforts to solve all sorts of problems or disasters.

They are not judgmental. We can all honestly laugh at ourselves. We all admit our weaknesses and faults. We do not compete with each other.

They are extremely intelligent and open to new ideas. But they have common sense. They can be trusted.

They are all hilarious and are always ready to get together. Even last minute. We all have lots of people we consider best friends but we are not jealous of each others friends.

I am very blessed. I am always thinking about when we all get old. I want to come up with a way for us all to live close together so we can continue to all grow old together. Maybe a place run like a Cruise ship. "Walker races on the Lido deck. " "L. and Sally will be hosting a Happy Hour with disco dancing. Ensure milk shakes will be served..in the Main Ballroom. " "Field Trip to the movies, put in your best dentures, we do not want to scare the youths.!"

Our children and family members will not have to worry about us, we will be just fine..

Keep searching for that lady, she is probably sorry she has lost touch with you too.

Someone you can tell ANYTHING to and they only share with appropriate people, or keep it secret if needed. Someone who can be both super irreverent and sarcastic, but genuinely empathetic and kind deep down. Someone who isn't high maintenance and eager to hold grudges.

My best friend and I can go months without speaking and toss loans back and forth in times of need and never keep track. We've never had a fight and we've been through thick and thin in over 20 years from poverty to comfort and back again.

Someone loyal to you through all of your ridiculous relationships with other people. Someone non-jealous and supportive who wants you to succeed. And fun.

As for just "good friends". They have to be fun and interesting in their own way and tolerant (not in a condescending way) even if differently opinionated. And not be dicks.

Pretty much a balance where both parties need to be equally generous and forgiving.

I am picturing my best friend while pondering this: She's like a sister to me, more so than my own sister. She is down to earth, thoughtful, compassionate, generous, caring, would give you the shirt off her back. She has great morals and values, we share a similar sense of humor and take on life. We met four years ago when our sons were in preschool together, and we clicked instantly. We often wish we'd known each longer, but at least we have each other now!

I agree with a lot of the qualities listed already. One thing that really differentiates my best friends is that they are "low maintenance". I know that probably sounds bad--like I don't want to work on friendships, but not intended that way! I mean that we all have busy lives. And with my closest friends (especially a couple that live far away), sometimes life gets crazy and you are out of touch for a bit. But with them, we pick right back up. It's that comfortable feeling where you know you can call them up about anything, anytime. Or not call for awhile and that's ok too.

I don't think I consciously looked for these things, but they appear in some form or fashion in my dearest and best friends. These women all possess/display:

Honesty
Good or wicked sense of humor
Strength and vulnerability
Intelligence (not just cognitive, but emotional, and/or creative intelligence)
Openness
Kindness
Love of life
Youthful spirit
Positive Outlook
Drive

Thanks for this question. You reminded me how truly fortunate I am for these lovely women in my life!

ETA: These are all long term relationships, some dating back more than 40 years to the most recent of maybe 6 years. I love them all.

I like a friend who has the same needs and expectations that I have.

I do not like large parties of friends. I like one-on-one friendships. I like a friend that can wait to be honest. For example, if I am hurting from something that was my fault--I would like for her to wait until I am safely over it to tell me how I was to blame or at fault.

ETA: I also want a friend to invest in the relationship by returning calls, texts, visits, making suggestions for us to get together, who will 'drop by' and allow me to 'drop by' as well.

Good question. What prompted you to ask it? What qualities do you seek in your friends?

Not really something I can explain. I have about 4 people I've met in my life who I believe will be my friends for the rest of my life, and the qualities they possess are varied.

We are just simpatico, I guess.

Pretty much what OnePerfectOne said. With sense of humor at the top.

I'm not sure that I look for specific qualities when friend hunting ;) But I can tell you a bit about my best friend....

She's a little nuts - not off her rocker, but she's got little eccentricities that make me shake my head and smile.

She's fiercely loyal and protective - most especially of her children and husband, but if I've had my feelings hurt by someone (or angry with someone) then they're on her "list" too :)

She's empathetic and emotional - we cry together often and don't care LOL

She makes me laugh, and think, and challenges me socially - I'm quite an introvert and she's more social, so she brings me into group conversations at school (or wherever) when I'd normally just stand there quietly.

Really, I can't imagine my life without her. We only just met a few years ago, but when we did it was like "Where have you been all my life?!" lol

Loyalty. That includes not only standing by me when I'm right, but also having the balls to tell me when you see that I am wrong.

Patience, compassion, family values, trust when it comes to the kids and sharing the responsibility for their corrections, and more. It takes a village and any parents who won't allow you to correct their children's actions when you see them acting out isn't the sort of friend I want. If I see them doing something wrong I'm going to say something and if I need to sit them down beside me until I can get mom's attention.

J. G, sounds like we could be good friends ;)
My top 3...
sense of humor
straightforward
courteous

Trust and loyalty!