What Mommy "Rules" Do You Break?

Haha what a great question!
I have often wondered this myself, especially after joining this site, and since my kids were babies and toddlers when the internet was still a relatively new thing, back in the old days of the 1990's :)
I fed them when they were hungry, put them down when they were tired, got up with them in the morning when they were ready to get up. I never did schedules, I just let each day unfold. I was a SAHM so I had that option (I realize not everyone does and I totally respect that!)
As they grew I kept offering/giving them food and it felt like 9 times out of 10 they didn't want/eat it. Oh well, take it or leave it!
I always felt as long as they were growing and healthy and smart why worry about it?
Yes, some days were harder than others.
But I never had to deal with fits or tantrums (ok, maybe rarely, but very rarely.)
I think today's moms are WAY too hard on themselves and their kids. Especially while they are young, RELAX and ENJOY, it's the best time of parenthood!!! You get to deal with all of the truly yucky stuff later, when they are teenagers. Seriously :(

Rules? there are rules? hmmmm I guess I've probably broken them all since I didn't know there were rules I had to follow. Not that it would matter ... I'm a rules are more like suggestions kind of person anyway LOL

You name it, I probably broke it. Who makes the rules anyway? And what gives them to right to make a blanket statement and rule for every person in the world. No one is like my kids, and not all rules fit every family.

I put my kids in timeout for as long as I want to. Had a sweet little ten minute break today and I dont have a ten year old! In your face Parenting Magazine!!

Pshaw.

The pop-psych/ pop-med "rules" change every 3 years and vary wildly between article and article.

I'm a big fan of authoritative parenting (not a method, but a style. 50 methods can be either authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, neglectful, or abusive... all depending on the style of parent), I pay attention -but not slavish attention- to studies.

But my biggest "thing" I do is follow my gut.

(BTW... I can almost guarantee you that carseat style "cribs" are going to be the new "thing" for our grandkids. Back sleeping and tummy sleeping switches every generation -back prevents most SIDS cases, tummy prevents most aspiration death cases- a car seat style sleeper prevents both, and helps with reflux. Then a generation following it will be something else to combat whatever problem upright sleeping causes).

What's wrong with being a short order cook? We have stuff on hand, and it's ridiculously easy to cook 2 things at one time.

What's wrong with nursing to sleep?

What's wrong with ______?

ALMOST NOTHING is wrong with any question you can pose that's not abusive. It's just personal preference. Do what is right for YOUR family, and YOUR child, and let the talking heads babble.

my 10 month old loves french fries almost as much as her mama does :)

I let my 5 yo jump on the bed. Sometimes we jump on it together :)

What POS rules are you reading? Attachment parenting encourages you to love and nurture your baby. My son slept in his carseat too (dairy allergies and sensory issues) and I nursed him to sleep until 2 1/2. He is 3 and yes, sometimes I make him his own dinner and I feed it to him in front of the T.V. Well guess what? He is a happy, healthy, well adjusted boy who goes to sleep on his own, sleeps all night, excels at school and athletics and is a joy and delight to everyone who meets him. No one is perfect...who cares?

I run into the gas station while I pay and leave my kids in the car (with the windows rolled down (summer) and the doors locked) provided I can still see the car!

I let my almost 4 year old stay up and watch movies with his dad and me...plus he is a superhero fanatic...so he has seen almost all the non-animated superhero flicks with us (we watch them first and fast-forward through any questionable scenes).

I have been known to use the tv as a babysitter...just to get 30 mins of peace...or sleep in a little later on the weekends!

I have selectively omitted things from my pediatrician (ex: how much tv my kids watch to name one...) just to avoid a lecture :-)

And one from my hubby: I thought I was doing great not giving my first son pop until he turned one...and when I gave him his "first" sip, I told my DH how proud I was that I had waited...only to find that my DH had been sneaking him sips for months! :-)

I'm positive there is more, but that will do for now! :-) Let's hear it for us non-perfect MOMS!!! :-)

LOL. Your post made me laugh! I don't believe in "mommy rules" I think that each mother needs to do what she has to do to make her life and her child's life work the best. Its all about trial and error---especially when you are starting out as a newbie. I have to say that I nursed on demand and without apology to anyone who saw me :) My kids co-slept with us and still do sometimes :) My little ones slept in the stroller,carseat, baby wrap on me while I slept upright whenever they needed to. I will make my kids anything that they would like to eat-within reason, at any time. I don't feel that kids should be forced to eat when they aren't hungry-so I feed them whenever they are hungry. If its 2am and my littlest wants pancakes--I will make them for him. (This 2am snack is not a regular occurance-thank goodness!) I love being a mommy and I love that my hubby and I make up the rules that work for us in our family. I have to laugh when i see magazines that have the do's and don'ts---I feel that every family needs to have the opportunity and the dignity to make the appropriate choices for their family.

M

I don't know what the article says the rules are so I don't know if I'm breaking theirs. However, I've noticed that I parent my kids much differently than a lot of others I know though, but I'm frequently getting compliments on my children's behavior as well as the way I talk to my children and the way I interact with them. :)
Oh... I just thought of something. A lot of people feel that babies shouldn't be allowed to suck their thumbs, but we allow our two little ones to do it. They were thumb-suckers in the womb and once they were born we initially discouraged it by covering their hands. They both had reflux really bad and would often times turn red-purple due to lots of saliva in their mouths and we had to quickly clear out their mouths which was very scary and stressful. We figured out to put them in their infant carriers so they would be somewhat upright which helped, but not enough. It was suggested that we also allow them to use pacifiers which we did, but the pacis would fall out and they'd get upset or they'd end up choking. SO we encouraged them to suck their thumbs and that helped GREATLY. :) People are so quick to have something to say about what's going to happen to my babies teeth, but I believe thumb-sucking helped save them from choking to death when they were smaller so I don't care what anyone else thinks.
We are now taking gentle steps to curb their the thumb-sucking before their permanent teeth come in and I think their mouths will be fine. :)

Oh dear me!

My son has managed to survive 15 years and I have never followed "the rules" - I didn't even read the "What to Expect When You are Expecting" book and the toddler book follow up that were the rage when I had him. Shame on me.

I let him run naked through house, eat whenever he was hungry, he once lived on chicken nuggets, mandarin oranges, and milk for months b'c it was all he would eat. I let him stay up late on school nights, and watch eclipses, and star gaze. I let him light fireworks, and drive the truck without a permit, and occasionally I even let him curse.

In spite of my "dubious" parenting skills, my son is a responsible, respectful, and loving young man.

So, I say, to heck with the rules.

LOL

I let my son stay up late to watch TV sometimes--even on a school night.
I put ice cream on his waffles.
I make him breakfast smoothies with yogurt, fruit and ICE CREAM!
Sometimes I let him play Wii for "too long" if he's really into it.
I have no parental controls on my internet (has not been a problem thus far).
I have gunned it through a yellow light (or two).
Son has been known to order a virgin pina colada when we're out.

Sooooo many! LOL

I always say anyone who says don't let the TV babysit doesn't have kids. I will park him in front of the TV for a 20 min. bubble bath or to go in the other room for a bit of quiet time.

I'm bad about allowing drinks in bed b/c the time he drinks his milk best is at bed time and he is a on a high calorie diet.

I am also a short order cook. There are days I don't care what he eats as long as it is somewhat nutritious and he's eating. Today for lunch he had a spoon full of pb, some peaches, and milk! hahaha

Glad I'm not the only rule breaker!!! haha love this post!!!

My son has ALWAYS been a tummy sleeper. And I let him. Oh dear.

I always put my baby down to sleep already sleeping too. I nurse her to sleep. It works for us. She also doesn't sleep through the night yet and her pediatrician seems to think she can do that too. ha. SHe's 6 months.
For my older boys....I was reading an article about how we, as parents, should always explain every little thing that we do, why we do it, and empathize with our children even if we don't agree. I had to laugh, because the article started out by saying, "While it might always being tempting to sing "you can't always get what you want" to your child when they ask for something, that is NOT how you should do it!" Guess who OFTEN sings that song to her boys? Oh, that would be me. I am the parent. It's not my job to explain to my child why, how, who...it is because I said. :)
I let my kids play in the backyard with no supervision! GASP!!! We have 6 foot fence all the way around the yard and I feel just fine with that. We also have a trampoline that BOTH of my boys jump on at the same time. The horror!
I am sure there are more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.
L.

I haven't read the article either but I'm sure I have broken many rules.
Held my son while he napped, nursed him to sleep until he was 15 months old. I too, am a short order cook. I also let him eat when he's hungry and not when he's "supposed" to. He eats some meals in front of the T.V. He definitely watches way too much tv. But he's not glued to it, it's just on for him and me (I like the background noise). I lay with him until he falls asleep every night. I guess you can say I like to break the rules because it works for us. My son is 2 1/2 and is a very well mannered, wonderful, smart little boy. Great question!

I have never done time outs. I let my son 'convince me' he is right when he is. I change my mind if I say something dumb. I don't reward him for doing things right. I don't punish him for doing things wrong. I give him a hug when he is mad instead of sending him to his room. I potty trained my son at age two with no signs of potty readiness (actually I had never heard the term until joining this site - yup, he trained in under a week). I still help DS (5-1/2) get dressed when he wants me too - it's faster and he'll do it himself in college. I let my son play by himself in the backyard - we do not have a fence (he was never a runner). We never used a pacifier simply because I thought they are gross (they are gross, I don't see how anyone can think otherwise)

When DS was born, I asked my pediatrician whether there were any references he would recommend. He said, nope, I think you will have it under control - after all 13 year olds have babies. (I was hoping to do a little better than that but it did reinforce my belief that he was the laid back pediatrician I wanted).

Never read 'What to Expect..." and didn't know there was a follow up book.

I cannot believe the complete drivel written in parenting magazines.

Well, if you are breaking these rules, then you are a WAY better mom than the books are tellin' you to be.

The 'rules' I've broken are too numerous to mention. I have some fruition since my kids are much older, but, yeah, the 'rules' can totally make you feel like you're holding your breath, closing your eyes, and jumping off the parenting cliff.

Seems to be working out for me, my (older) kids are awesome, 'bout how I expected them to be!

:)

I used the crib bumper, I have let him sleep in the car and not been in the car with him, I forget to ignore the whinning and respond to it sometimes, I carry him around WAY too much...hmmm...I know there are lots more...but that's enough for now

I co-sleep with my 2 1/2 yr old. She drinks milk at night after brushing her teeth and has no cavities or signs of cavitites (so ha dentists). I let her watch tv a lot on lazy days (what? It's nick jr haha). We went to a 10pm stargaze event a few weeks ago. When she is being way stubborn about food sometimes I jus let her eat in front of the tv.
Wow, some of these responses are so lucky that fate was not against them. I'm not being judgmental but it just left me with a wow, those lucky kids. or aww that poor child (sorry, but a 10 min timeout is kinda mean or maybe I'm a softy).

We are all perfectly imperfect parents :)
Parenting magazines are usually crazy info. I do like reading common sense parenting books though, they are interesting (how to talk so kids will listen is great, didn't believe it til I saw it lol)

I love this question and responses. I think I am a tight a$$. I need to let go.

I do let my youngest fall asleep nursing though. It's a start?

My kiddos eat super healthy and like everything! However, my weakness is candy! I love starburst, gummy bears, chocolate, etc! Our son has a corn allergy so we don't eat candy or anything (except when I sneak my own)! Terrible, I know. :D

We have an odd living arrangement. My husband, daughter and I live with my parents in a two bedroom apartment. My parents are retired and disabled and the money my father gets (mother is still waiting on hers) does not support them through the month, so we stay. So with that said my daughter lives in the room with us. I break the bedroom rule- "only use the bed for sex and sleep, no computers in the bedroom, etc" because of space. My daughter's bed is next to ours and we allow her into our bed because she gets nightmares at 3 years old.
She had colic too and we used to let her fall asleep in this chair thing that vibrated because it helped her A LOT. Sometimes I let her eat just about anything so that she WILL eat.
I don't think these rules apply to everyone, at least not those of us who can't afford to move to a place where their kid has their own room. Some of these rules sound too perfect to work and I've found that it's true for us. I've read that a 20-30 bedtime routine is a must, but it doesn't work for her usually.
I'd love to see someone compile a list of all these rules so I can go through them lol

Lol. I think I've broken them all...cause I usually read those mags and get angry. Heehee.