What Is Your Position on Extra Activities?

I have three children all involved in extra activities. My middle daughter is taking piano and basketball. At first she wanted to quit basketball. I asked to to finish it through the season. Now she is joining little leauge and wants to play basketbaLL AGAIN next year because she gave it a chance.

My oldest quit dance and wanted to also try gymnastics. She is althletic in play at home. But now takes flute. Neither dance or gymnastics were for her.

I hope you daughter gives dance a chance before trying gymnastics.

L.,

I see no problem with letting your daughter switch next year from dance to gymnastics. Trying new things is great for her, and if she really likes dance, she may miss it, and switch back the following year. Is she taking dance as a recreational activity, or is this something really serious where a year of training lost would be a problem? Is she destined for the New York ballet or something?

The important thing to me is to not let her quit halfway through. My parents were big on that, and it really means a lot to me now as an adult that I was taught the importance of following through with my commitments. Is there a summer gymnatsics program that is only a few weeks so she could try it out and see if it interests her? Let her know that these lessons are very expensive, and it takes a lot of time to run back and forth to take her. If you are making the commitment to her to do this, then she needs to hold up her end of the deal. She doesn't have to sign up again the following year, but it's important to see things through. How would she feel if you signed her up, and she really loved it, but you got tired of taking her and just stopped? It's not fair to quit in the middle, and it's a really important life lesson.

Jess

My daughter is going to be 9 next month and one way we have combated that problem is to always try new things. Every spring and fall I have her pick a different activity. She is in dance now and I am considering keeping her in next year because she enjoys it soooo much. Maybe your daughter is having a problem with the dance moves or another girl in class. She may be a little self-conscience also. Young girls have so much going on in thier heads it is hard to tell exactly what is going on with them. It never hurts to to have a heart to heart and find out exactly whats on her mind.
As far as whether or not to push her to go, I tell my girl that we made a commitment and we need to finish it out (not to mention the money lost if she were to quit). Not only will she benefit from dance but it is a lesson in responsibility and keeping commitments.

If she has a good time when she gets there, I think you should continue to take her. if she doesnt, then find an activity she does enjoy.

You are right, this WILL benefit her down the road...i have been seeing alot of stuff about obesity and the healthrisks associated with it....if an active lifestyle is not promoted it may translate into her adult years. Like you also said - it is great for socialization as well - which will also translate to her adult years - being able to relate to people outside of your inner circle, learning discipline, structure, how to take instruction....

My daughter is 3 and not yet in preschool because of her date of birth - but we go to Ballet, music class, and rollerskating every week...plus we go to church and she attends Sunday School there - I have seen her grow SOO much and is very expressive. She is learning soo many practical lessons that she would not learn if we stayed home. Ballet is at 4:30 on Mondays- so getting her out the house can be a challenge sometimes - esp if she is just waking up froma nap! But once I get her in the car - she is fine.

Be firm and take her - they always enjoy themselves when they get there!!
Good luck!!!

My girls also are involved in lots of activities. They are daisy girl scouts and they dance all year. During the spring they play t-ball, and in the fall and spring they play soccer. During the fall, when it's cool, they don't want to go, b/c it's cold out. Once they are there, they love it, though. I do have a rule, once I sign you up and pay, you have to stay in for that year, no quitting. If you still dont want to do it, we don't sign up the next year.
Maybe you should try gymnastics. She might like it!!

My daughter, also 9, has tried everything (dance, gymnastics, soccer etc.) At this point, she now does soccer and horseback riding. The soccer she loves but like your daughter, hates going. the horsebackriding she loves and she loves going to. The way to get her to soccer is by telling her that if she doesn't go to soccer and try while she is there, she will no longer go to horseback riding. It works and gets her pumped up!

She is old enough to decide for herself what she would like to do. Let her know that if she stops dance then she will be starting another physical activity. Even if it's soccer or karate, she needs to know that she will continue with something in it's place.

My 6-1/2 year old daughter is telling me the same thing about dance. She is in her third year and at one point was crying that she didn't want to do it anymore. Nobody picks on her at dance and she is very good at it. I have told her that she has to complete her classes until June and then she doesn't have to do it anymore. She also does Karate which she has done for 3 years....this is one activity that we have told her that she will not be giving up....we feel this is for her own benefit. She takes swimming lessons which she at one point wanted to give up, but then changed her mind after she got the knack and absolutely can't wait to go now. I think they need to at least do it for the year and wouldn't let them quit in between. As I child, I wasn't exposed to this many different activities. I did cheering for 1 year (that was enough for me) and I played basketball and softball and I played them for a number of years. I think it's good for them to be exposed to a lot of different activities, as it is good for their minds and bodies. Good luck!!!

Extra curricular activities are very important to a child's foundation. My mother let me quit piano because I thought that my teacher was too tough on me...I was a child and didn't know any better. I really wish that my mother would have made me stick to it. Alicia Keys' mother did not let her quit piano and look at her now, she is super successful. Alicia's mother required her to play the piano although she wanted to quit to go play with her friends. Now she credits her mother for giving her a solid foundation to be successful.

Hi L., remember that extra activities are great, but at that age she is still trying to find who she is. There is no problem in her learning and taking up different activities as long as it's what makes her happy. Some kids just get bored and want to try something new. Make a deal with her, if she drops one activity and picks another, have her agree to give it a good try before deciding if she wants to quit. She has many years ahead of her and if she feels forced to stick to an activity she may just decide not to do any. Good luck! N.

My daughter is also in Brownies and dance. Does your daughter complain about stopping what she's doing to go to brownies? Are you there with her during dance class? Maybe she feels like she's being picked on by the other girls. Or maybe they don't "include" her. If it were my daughter wanting to quit dance I would make her come up with a really good reason to want to stop going. For me if she said "I just don't like it anymore" that would not be good enough. I definately think kids should have some sort of after school activities.