oh where do i start...my daughter who is 10 wants to read/watch the hunger games, well i have heard it may be a bit to much for her so i told her that i would read the book first/watch the movie first (hubby and i have done with this with other books and movies, some the kids get to read/watch, some they dont) and both of my kids are okay with that although they dont always like having to wait untill we finish. Anyway back to my vent, i brought the book to work and one of my coworkers was like you are reading the hunger games (she knows that is not the typical book i read) and i say yes i am reading it before my daughter does and she goes wow you really do shelter those kids, just let her read it. i actually did not know how to respond other than to say well we have this rule in our house and laugh it off. i mean we have let them watch/read stuff that maybe other kids dont get to after we watch it. and it isnt with ALL movies, only ones where we question it. so my question is what is wrong with watching/reading before the kids do? sorry so long. thank you in advance.
thank you for all the responses so far. i appreciate them all, i guess i was just taken back at the whole comment by my coworker. well i can say that this book is boring me to tears but i am going to finish it. lol.
final edit. so i finished the book and my daughter and i chatted about it, i told her what i thought, then explained what the book was about and said i would prefer her not to read it, however i would let her make the choice.....she chose against it, she said that after i explained more of what the book was about she really didnt want to.
Good for you! I would say you are smart, not sheltering. Sheltering would be just saying "no, you can't read/watch that." You are not necessarily saying that.
I did the same thing with Harry Potter. So boring I could not get past the first chapter, but decided it was ok for my son to go ahead and read it. He loved all the books. Everyone has different tastes.
It's actually awesome when they get older and you've shared books for years! My 16yr old often reads things before I do (now) and then tells me if it deserves me giving it any time at all! :)
Regarding the Hunger Games series in particular (which we both finished recently) despite being rather violent, I don't think it's unsuitable for a 10 year old. That said, I do think you're doing the right thing by reading it first, because each child is different! :)
I'd put you in the sheltering category as well, but that's just because I don't censor my kids from tv/movies very much. That said, I don't say that in a judge-y way at all, because I certainly have tons more respect for parents with lots of rules than I do for parents with none. You're looking out for the best interests of your child, how can you go wrong with that? You probably didn't know how to respond because that was so blatantly RUDE!
I let my kids watch stuff on TV that they probably shouldn't watch. The other day, my husband & I were watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy, and it was the episode where this guy with a gun goes around the hospital shooting people. It's kinda scary. My kids saw some of it. My 8-year-old scares easily, so she ran away when she saw it, but my five-year-old loves stuff like that. She's also watched Interview with the Vampire, and has asked repeatedly if she could watch it again. My husband and I question our judgment letting them watch that garbage. But we do talk to them, they know that what's on TV isn't real.
My parents did me and my brothers the same way, we could watch pretty much anything. Didn't ruin us.
But again... rude of your coworker to make that comment!!
Not a blessed thing, if that's how you want to parent YOUR children. Since when does active parenting equal sheltering and over-bearing? These people get on my nerves.
Ha! Pre-reading material is very important. How else will you know what your kids are experiencing? And while you may consider letting your child read a broad range of materials, there may be some that you find disturbing or objectionable.
Reminds me of a Mom who backhandedly "complimented" me for being so "open" as to allow my pre-teen to read a fairly adult music magazine, and saying that she could never let her child read it. Imagine her surprise when I said I not only "allowed" it, I pre-read it to make sure I understood what he would be learning about, and I loved the "content".
"Thanks! I take my role as mom pretty seriously."
I pre-read/watch everything.
Your coworker was rude to say that. She made it sound like you were silly, but your policy is a reasonable one. Try to ignore what she said and chalk it up to her having bad manners. It is fine if she has different rules for her kids, but no need to try to shame you for your rules.
I had a similar incident happen recently, my SIL was bugged that "my kids ask permission for everything". She thought it was ridiculous and they should just go do what they want without checking in with me. I think that my rules work very well for us, though. My kids ask permission before playing video games (because we set a time limit per day)and before they go play outside, and I think it is very reasonable for me to know if they are leaving the house and to keep tabs on their electronics time. I do not think my rule or your rule is unreasonable or suffocating to our children.
Good for you. Just ignore the co-worker or tell her different families have different rules. If both you and your daughter read the book and/or series you might find it a good bonding experience. My 13-year-old and I have both read the first two books and we talk about them all of the time. It's nice to understand what he's talking about. He's also read a couple of parodies of the books and tells me the funniest parts and we went to see a play parody of the series too.
There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to make sure that something is appropriate for your child first. That is your way of parenting, and no one should question that. Especially when it's not a ridiculous situation either. I love the Hunger Games books but I would do the same as you. You want to make sure of what your young child is doing and reading. Nothing wrong with that.
You are being a good parent. Dont let anyone make you feel silly for doing that.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with reading first what you aren't sure about. You are the last line of defense between your kids and what you don't want them to be exposed to.
We have always done it and it's worth pointing out to your coworker that it benefits her in the opposite direction as well. When the Harry Potter books came out our whole very conservative little town was horrified and banned their kids from reading them. Being the kind of mom that likes to decide for myself what is appropriate for my kids, I decided to read them first and decide, rather than do what someone else thought was right.
It just leaves the deciding for your child in your hands and not someone else's and as her parents thats your responsibility.
Nothing at all. It's the responsible thing to do. My SIL let my niece (same age) read it last year, but only because they were reading it at the same time (my SIL stayed a chapter ahead). That was the only way she was letting her read something that has some mature topics!
Good for you!
Coming from a past-kindergarten teacher who could not believe some of the things her students' parents let them watch.... YOU GO MOMMA!!!! Good for you for keeping tabs on what your kids are seeing/reading.
When I was younger, I wanted to see Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing and couldn't understand why my mom would not allow it. As an adult, I don't blame her for not wanting me to see those movies and some of the adult content they have. I did end up watching them at an older friend's house - but didn't understand half of the stuff going on! :-P
I think parents SHOULD censor what their kids see and read. So, more power to you!!
As for your co-worker - I don't know what I would have said in the moment - I hate that I can't come up with quick comebacks when flustered... But it probably would have irked me to have someone say that as well...
I haven't read the book - you say it is boring...will you be letting your daughter read it? :-)
Actually, I think it's a GOOD thing you already know the contents of a thing. Then you can more easily approach issues that arise, you know?
That said, I also feel movies, books, song lyrics, etc, that are age inappropriate can all be used as learning tools in a communicative parent/child relationship. That is to say, exposure is not ALWAYS a bad thing.
:)
What's wrong? Nothing. I wish more parents would prescreen movies and books, because sometimes the material is too much for your kid and you need to know what's in there. "Not yet" is different than "no" and knowing the content gives you things to talk about with your kid.
I think your policy is 100 times better than letting them watch or read something then regret it later.
Nothing is wrong with screening anything your child might see. I wish all parents did that. It would save our society having to put up with rude or violent prone children.
Remember, you are raising your kids according to YOUR standards and values, not your apathetic co-worker's. Do what is best for your daughter. In the end, YOU have to live with her...your co-worker will not.
Nothing. Your coworker is in idiot. Does she even have kids?
And not that my opion even matters, but I love those books. The first book is more graphic than the movie, surpirsingly. I have an 8 1/2 year old, but I am guessing the book would be more appropriate at 12-13, depending on the child. But even my daughter suprises me. We are reading the lat Harry Potter book together now. She is just fine with that, and I thought we wouldn't get there until she was 10.
You are doing the right thing. I would let your co-worker's comment go. Who cares what they think? There is a reason a very valid reason why you are doing this---to protect your child. Do what is best for your family always and you will never regret it. GL
There is nothing wrong with it. As long as you aren't purposely sheltering your children from all things 'negative' then I see no problem with the way you handle things. Your coworker was just being a jerk.
Your co-worker was rude. Some of my friends have let their kids read the book and took them to see the movie the day it opened. My kids also wanted to see the movie and read the book, I dont think either are at the level to read the book, but since what I heard about it and what I read about the movie trailer, and the fact I have no interest in reading book or seeing the movie I flat out said NO. My kids accepted it and moved on. Let people call me what I want and tell me I shelter my kids, I dont care. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING INTO MATERIAL YOU FEEL IS QUESTIONABLE FOR YOUR CHILD, it is our job as parents. Since we are the ones raising the child, it is our right no one elses to determine what is in the best interest of our kids. I know how my kids will react to certain things, so I keep those things away from them until they are old enough and mature enough to understand them, things such as this particular book/movie.
I ditto Nikki G on this one.
But still, if you want to do it, who is your coworker to judge you?
No, your co-worker is an idiot. Does she have kids? Regardless, there is nothing wrong with being an involved parent.
There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with insuring that what your kids watch (TV or movies) or read are appropriate for them. Kids get exposed to way to much at a young age and why not protect them when we can so that they can have a childhood.
Keep up the good work!
