My four-year-old daughter has been having some potty issues recently. I've noticed them for the past few weeks. She's been fully potty trained for quite a while so this is a bit puzzling. She waits entirely too long to go to the bathroom. We will catch her grabbing herself and dancing around and we'll tell her "Natalie, go pee!!!" and she'll run to the bathroom. It seems like when she goes, she doesn't let it all out, because the last several drips will wind up in her pants. As a result of that, she constantly has pee in her panties- and at the end of a day, she can really accumulate a smell. Yesterday I came home from work and gave her a hug and drew back a wet hand- I realized that she had completely peed in her pants- she was soaked- and it didn't seem to bother her in the least. I asked her how long she had been walking around in wet pants and she said "I don't know". My husband was home with her and hadn't noticed it so it couldn't have been very long, but the fact that it didn't even phase her really bugged me. I tried to ask her questions about why she's not going in the potty- is she scared of the potty (we recently remodeled our bathroom- new toilet, etc.), does it hurt when she pees (possible UTI?), does her 'tee-tee' burn or hurt, etc. I didn't get any indication from her that she is hurting/burning anywhere, and she didn't let on that she's nervous or afraid about anything. My daughter does have issues conveying information because of her speech delay and hearing loss. The only thing that's happened recently that would warrant any anxiety is issues between my husband and I resulting in a week-long separation that was admittedly rough on my four-year-old (she is quite the Daddy's girl).
How do I tackle this? And I should also say, I have a terrible fear of taking her to the pediatrician for this because of my close friend's catheter horror stories recently with her little girl (who is my daughter's age). Of course, my friend's little girl ended up having kidney reflux and had to have surgery, so I'm glad she got the treatment she needed, but still... tangible anxiety about that.
Ok, so I've rambled... help me!!
I think that 4 year olds are BUSY and don't like to take time to pee. They still need reminding. Can you keep a stack of fresh undies nearby (maybe in the bathroom) so she can switch them out after each pee?
When my oldest daughter was 3 and 1/2 or 4, her daycare provider pulled me to the side and asked if everything was ok at home. I was kind of perplexed. "Umm, yeah, sure, I mean....dad and I are kind of going through something, why do you ask?" She told me my girl had a potty regression and that they often see this in homes where the parents are going through something. It took me aback. My daycare provider knew my marriage was in trouble before I did! I've read since that it gives them a senes of control, since they dont understand and cant control what's going on around them. Well, dad and I seperated and her potty issues stopped immediately. Not saying seperation is what did it! Just saying that the tension in the home is what caused her to regress and once that tension was lifted, she went back to normal. Now that you guys are getting back on track, I'm sure the tension in the house will begin ot lift and she won't feel the need to control her bladder anymore or get your attention by breaking the rules. In the meantime, you can pull out the old potty training techniques you used the 1st time around. Remind her to go often, reward her for not having accidents and maybe talk to her about all that's been going on. Get things back to a normal, even keel as much as possible. Keep her schedule as rigid as possible, as this gives kids a sense of security.
when I was little I had a hard time getting the signals. You're body is supposed to signal to you 3-6 times (or so I've heard) that you have to go before you actually HAVE to go. When I was little I didn't recognize or get the signals so I had lots of accidents and lots of leaking. As an adult I go often. When I was pregnant that all went away and not only could I go much longer between bathroom visits I was getting my signals earlier. I asked my dr about this and she said it was most likely a hormonal issue since that was the big change from the start of pregnancy.
I wish my parents had asked the dr about it. I get quite a complex about it when I was little that as an adult it's been hard to shake.
My son is going through potty training this week so I don't have much advice for you from the moms perspective, but from the childs...it really can't hurt to ask the dr. If you don't want a test run, you can always ask about alternatives or refuse and wait until a later date.
hope this helps!! Good Luck!!
Definitely what seems to happen at this age. 4 year olds get absobred, and I don't mean by pee pee! They get so engrossed in something that they just CAN't leave it. My $ year old DS will flat out tell me he doesn't want to go right now he wants to play instead. He has actaully been in the process of having an accident while he's saying that! And no, the times when I find he's had a bigger accident, he doesn't seem to care that much!
Get her a calendar and start asking her to keep her panties dry all day. If her panties are dry at the end of the day, put a sticker or draw a shape on the calendar day. When she gets 7 days dry (they don't have to be consecutive)... have a mom/daughter date. We do ice cream cone dates. Increase the amount of days each time 7, 14, 21, 28, etc... If she is nervous or is needing extra attention, this will take care of those things. If she can't get up to the 14 days, then you probably need to take her to the dr.
After 28 days, it has become a good habit. I still give my daughter a date once a month for this to ensure she knows I'm proud of her for being a big girl. We started this back in April.
